Posts Tagged ‘Dick Polman’

Senseless About The Census

Monday, April 5th, 2010

Attention unhinged wingnuts: Obama’s Census illegally invades your privacy!

That’s a paranoid lie of course, but one that was started by Michele Bachmann and her cohorts. Ironically, it’s been reducing U.S. Census compliance to the detriment of the very people who are bitching about it. Here’s Philly Inq’s Dick Polman:

In the kingdom of ignorance, this story reigns:

Anti-government conservatives – apparently clueless about the history of the country they want to “take back,” and willfully believing the Pinocchio whoppers circulated via spam mail, talk radio, and YouTube – are currently engaged in a fascinating form of protest. Millions are refusing to fill out their 2010 Census forms.

***

The trend is so alarming that one Republican congressman, Patrick McHenry of North Carolina, felt compelled yesterday to plead with his right-wing brethren to fill out the forms; as he wrote on redstate.com, the popular conservative site, “If we do not respond, we will not be counted, and if we are not counted, then we effectively will not exist.”

Most notably, he urged his readers not to believe “the blatant misinformation” that has been circulated by “otherwise well-meaning conservatives.” Which was a polite way of saying, “Don’t listen to the liars.”

That brings me to my latest limerick:

Senseless About The Census
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Crazed conservative protestors scream:
We must “take back” our nation’s their theme.
Self-destructively rash,
They treat Census like trash.
Good luck with their blockheaded scheme!

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Posted in Congress Humor, GOP Humor, Michele Bachmann, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Privacy Humor, Republicans Humor, Wingnuts | 6 Comments »

Hannity Insanity

Thursday, June 11th, 2009

Few people are better at creating a Krauthammer-lauded “alternate reality” than Fox’s Sean Hannity. Columnist Dick Polman provides an excellent example:

On his Fox show one week ago, Sean Hannity told his credulous fans that President Obama had made a deliberate effort during his Cairo speech “to give 9/11 sympathizers a voice on the world stage.” … Hannity even backed up his reporting by airing a video clip from the speech, with Obama saying: “I am aware that there are still some that would question or even justify the events of 9/11.”

…

… Hannity’s video clip of Obama was truncated after that single quoted sentence, omitting everything that followed. Here’s what Obama said next, none of which was aired for the Fox viewers:

“But let us be clear. Al Qaeda killed nearly 3000 people on that day. The victims were innocent men, women and children from America and many other nations who had done nothing to harm anybody. And yet al Qaeda chose to ruthlessly murder these people … These are not opinions to be debated; these are facts to be dealt with.” …

For that outrageous deception alone, Sean Hannity deserves a limerick:

Hannity Insanity
By Madeleine Begun Kane

There once was a fellow named Hannity
Who strutted and showed off his vanity.
From his Fox chair he lied,
Took his fans for a ride,
And showed utter disdain for humanity.

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Posted in 9/11 Satire, Foreign Policy, Fox News Humor, Media Satire, Political Commentary, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Sean Hannity Verse, Terrorism | 6 Comments »

GOP Piety Song Parody (Sing to Billy Joel’s Honesty)

Thursday, June 7th, 2007

Thanks so much to Dick Polman, whose politics of selective piety post  inspired this song parody. You can sing it to Billy Joel’s Honesty.

GOP Piety Song Parody (Sing to Billy Joel’s Honesty)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

If you search for hypocrites, 
They aren’t hard to find.
The Republicans just give and give.
They brag about their piousness,
But to justice they are blind.
Consistency just ain’t the way they live.

Piety is such a misused word.
GOPers preach on cue.
Piety — their fakery’s absurd.
See through them and turn red to blue.

They can always find reasons
To use a “faith” disguise,
As they wear religion on their sleeve.
But I don’t want some petty man
To tell us pious lies.
All I want is someone to believe.

Piety is such a misused word.
GOPers pray on cue.
Piety — their zealotry’s absurd.
See through them and turn red to blue.

We must find a leader
Who this war will end,
Who will boost security,
The Bill of Rights defend.
Pieties don’t comfort me,
Nor GOP refrains.
Say no.
Say no.

They won’t keep our country free.
They’re too unconcerned.
They don’t care that human rights are gone.
I despise fake piety,
So to the Dems I must turn,
Cause they’re the ones that we depend on.

Piety is such a misused word.
GOPers preach on cue.
Piety — their fakery’s absurd.
See through them and turn red to blue.

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Posted in Campaign Humor, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Song Parodies, White House | 16 Comments »