It’s a challenge for Trump to comply With societal rules. He’s a guy Who has always felt free To ignore them with glee; To break laws and to flagrantly lie.
Trump’s accustomed to getting his way. But in Criminal Court, he lacks sway. It’s the Judge who has power, So Don’s looking dour, Forced to hold all his anger at bay.
Be quiet in court and sit down! Trump’s compelled to comply (with a frown.) For he fin’lly must face His first criminal case: It’s Judge Merchan who now wears the crown!
After learning that New York AG Letitia James is pursuing a criminal investigation into the Trump Organization, and that she’s working with Manhattan DA Cy Vance, Donald Trump posted a lengthy blog rant, which could have benefited from paragraphing … and sanity.
Donald Trump seems distressed and upset.
It appears he is starting to fret
That he’ll spend his last days
In prolonged prison stays.
James and Vance pose a serious threat!
Headline: “Fox News host Tucker Carlson claims making children wear masks is ‘abuse’”
A kid in a mask? That’s “abuse,”
According to Carlson, who’s loose
With his words on the air.
But Tuck doesn’t care:
“Call the cops,” like he says … then vamoose.
Dear Donald, enough with your moaning
And bitching and whining and groaning!
Your lies about wins
Lead a long list of sins.
My suggestion: Some prison atoning.
I hear tell that the Donald’s been musing
About maybe, conceivably losing.
It’s a frightening thought,
For his future is fraught;
Relocation to prison is bruising.
Trump delays and defies and he sues;
His flawed policy’s thwart and refuse.
Tell him “Follow the law,”
And he’ll yell or guffaw.
Don’t believe it? Try reading real news.
Headline: “How could anyone think Paul Manafort lived an ‘otherwise blameless’ life?”
NOT a limerick:
Judge Ellis while sentencing Paul
Said his life has been “otherwise blameless.”
But that claim just ain’t true. Not at all!
Seems both Paul and Judge Ellis are shameless.
I won’t ask you, dear Trump, not to lie.
You can’t stop, so don’t bother to try.
And nor will I ask
You to do any task
That requires a warm-hearted guy.
And there’s really no need to pretend
That the law isn’t something you bend
To benefit you
And a very small few:
Your children … and maybe a friend.
I won’t EVEN say, Donald don’t whine.
You can’t help it, I know, so that’s fine.
I’ve a single request,
And it isn’t “Be Best.”
I am begging you: Kindly Resign!
Trump’s hush money payments to gals
Is NOT a big deal, say his pals.
Trump can use the defense
That Edwards used; hence
Donald wins. (That’s their flawed rationales.)
But the “shield-wife defense” won’t apply
To Donald Trump’s pay-offs. Here’s why:
Those who made them concede
That their goal was impede
An election loss. Donald — Buh-Bye!
Headline: “Mueller Is Telling Us: He’s Got Trump on Collusion”
Robert Mueller’s got Trump on collusion.
Is there evidence? Yes, a profusion!
Mueller’s caught him red-handed.
Trump’s never been candid;
With Russians he banded. (Conclusion)
Brett told lies to the world, large and small,
Some entailing an “I don’t recall.”
Some were odd, like this tale:
“No connections to Yale!”
Which just might Yale-grad-grandpa appall.
Will Kavanaugh ever bow out?
That perjuring sexual lout
Was intended to be
Donald’s trump card; he’s key
To Trump’s keeping his freedom and clout.
*****
Mitch has hired a “female assistant”
So Republican men can stay distant
From plans untoward
Like “assassinate” Ford…
Which might render their wins non-existent.
Thanks to Peter Daou for inspiring my limerick with this tweet:
Woman reports sexual assault.
Woman gets slimed and vilified.
Woman gets called a liar and opportunist.
Woman gets death threats and is forced to leave her home.
GOP MEN: Why did she wait to come forward?
When a gal reports sexual assault,
She’s reviled and she’s slimed. Oy gevalt!
She’s sent death threats galore,
As she gets this what-for:
“Why’d you wait to speak out? You’re at fault!”
Dear Trump, Rudy’s “help” you don’t need.
I don’t know why you ever agreed
To let the guy rep you.
At best he will schelp you
To prison with mind-blowing speed.
My husband Mark and I live in New York City and frequently dine and see plays in the Times Square area. In fact, had the two of us not been so exhausted from our Las Vegas vacation, that’s where we probably would have been Saturday night. Perhaps that’s why I’m especially offended by John McCain’s apparent desire to undermine the prosecution of alleged terrorists.
What am I talking about? McCain said it would be a “serious mistake” if car bombing suspect Faisal Shahzad, a naturalized American citizen, was Mirandized.
I’m sorry, but the only way Mirandizing Shahzad would be a mistake is if your goal is to taint the evidence, get it thrown out of court, and lose the damn case.
And that brings me to my latest two-verse limerick:
John McCain — Ignoramus, Liar, Or Terrorist Sympathizer?
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Shahzad was Mirandized. Oh my!
Cue McCain and his pandering lie.
To warn him was wrong—
That’s McCain’s specious song.
He malpractices law on the fly.
For Miranda’s a citizen’s right.
Fail to warn him? You’re in for a fight.
Cuz evidence gotten
That way is deemed rotten.
Acquittal is what you invite.
John McCain — Ignoramus, Liar, Or Terrorist Sympathizer?
Wednesday, May 5th, 2010My husband Mark and I live in New York City and frequently dine and see plays in the Times Square area. In fact, had the two of us not been so exhausted from our Las Vegas vacation, that’s where we probably would have been Saturday night. Perhaps that’s why I’m especially offended by John McCain’s apparent desire to undermine the prosecution of alleged terrorists.
What am I talking about? McCain said it would be a “serious mistake” if car bombing suspect Faisal Shahzad, a naturalized American citizen, was Mirandized.
I’m sorry, but the only way Mirandizing Shahzad would be a mistake is if your goal is to taint the evidence, get it thrown out of court, and lose the damn case.
And that brings me to my latest two-verse limerick:
John McCain — Ignoramus, Liar, Or Terrorist Sympathizer?
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Shahzad was Mirandized. Oh my!
Cue McCain and his pandering lie.
To warn him was wrong—
That’s McCain’s specious song.
He malpractices law on the fly.
For Miranda’s a citizen’s right.
Fail to warn him? You’re in for a fight.
Cuz evidence gotten
That way is deemed rotten.
Acquittal is what you invite.
Tags: Car Bombing, Constitution Verse, Criminal Justice, Criminal Law, Faisal Shahzad, John McCain, Legal Verse, Miranda Rights, Terrorism, Terrorist Trials, Times Square
Posted in Constitution Humor, FBI Humor, John McCain, Law Satire, National Security Humor, Political Commentary, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Public Safety, Publicity Hounds, Terrorism | 7 Comments »