Headline: “Trump says it was just ‘bravado’ when he claimed having Iran attack plan in caught-on-tape Bedminster meeting”
Caught on tape, Trump’s exposure is dire,
So he seems to have taken a flyer
On a novel defense
For admissions immense:
He just labels himself a big liar.
Most constituents sigh, whine, and grouse
About Santos, a villainous louse.
He’s a con-artist worm
Who should serve a long term
In a JAILHOUSE and NOT in the House.
“Flynn gets slapped for lawyer stunt claiming he was somehow set up”
If you’re tempted to try legal stunts,
Take this lesson from Flynn, who’s a dunce:
When you feign being set up,
Your troubles won’t let up;
Fed’ral judges detest such affronts!
Slate: “The DOJ has made a pretty thorough case that the Trump campaign was filled with crooks.”
Trump’s campaign-team was teeming with crooks
It surely was one for the books;
His affinity for
That felonious corps
Was driven by greed. (Not good looks.)
“Never happened!” (Trump’s fav’rite defense)
His use of that claim is immense.
When it fails (all the time)
Trump denies it’s a crime,
Unwisely surmising we’re dense.
Headline: “Mueller Is Telling Us: He’s Got Trump on Collusion”
Robert Mueller’s got Trump on collusion.
Is there evidence? Yes, a profusion!
Mueller’s caught him red-handed.
Trump’s never been candid;
With Russians he banded. (Conclusion)
Headline: “Kellyanne Conway’s Husband Accuses Trump of Witness Tampering”
Donald’s latest illegal pursuit:
Witness tamp’ring on Twitter. The coot
Injudiciously hurts
His case; his tweet-blurts
Furnish proof Trump can never refute.
Headline: “Man Cites Trump After Groping Woman on Flight”
Trump’s impact is rather immense,
And it often defies common sense.
Grope a gal sans permission?
No need for contrition;
Just rely on the “Donald Defense!”
Headline: “New York Republican Rep. Chris Collins indicted on insider trading charges”
Chris Collins is under arrest
For fraud and false statements. Obsessed
With great greed, Chris misleads,
Commits crimes and misdeeds,
As he does what his party does best.
Headline: “Trump allies worry Cohen will flip.”
Trump cronies are starting to fear
A Mike Cohen betrayal is near;
That when faced with the threat
Of prison, he’ll sweat
And blab secrets that Donald holds dear.
In the wake of the Arizona shootings, there isn’t much news to celebrate in rhyme. But I finally came up with something: Former House Majority Leader Tom DeLay (R-Texas) was sentenced to three years in prison for “conspiring to launder corporate money into political donations during the 2002 elections.”
That brings me to my latest limerick:
Want Tom In Prison — No Delay!
By Madeleine Begun Kane
There’s a glimmer of good news today:
It’s prison for Thomas DeLay.
His sentence? Three years.
So let’s hear it: Three cheers!
Please no stay! Want DeLay put away.
After a tough day at work you climb into bed, reach for a paperback book, and find that your nightstand reading material is gone, replaced with a credit for the purchase price. After some digging you learn that paperback copies of the novel you’re in the middle of reading have been repossessed by your local bookshop.
Inconceivable, right? Credit or no credit, invading the privacy of your home and taking a book without your permission would surely constitute one or more crimes.
Now imagine the same scenario, but with an e-book instead of a paperback — an e-book you purchased for your Kindle. That’s exactly what Amazon did to 1984 and Animal Farm buyers.
Repossession via electronic invasion of privacy. If it isn’t a crime, it sure as hell ought to be.
Kindle Swindle? (3 Verse Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Have you noticed your e-book list dwindle?
You’re probably using a Kindle.
A book that you bought
Has turned into naught —
Replaced with a refund. No swindle?
Yet the seller invaded your house.
And did it by clicking a mouse.
Something’s there. Then it’s not.
(An Orwellian plot?)
You’re surely entitled to grouse.
The fact that your money’s returned.
Doesn’t mean that you haven’t been burned.
Your privacy rights
Are gone with those bytes.
This vendor deserves to be spurned.
Update: Some updated information from the New York Times:
An Amazon spokesman, Drew Herdener, said in an e-mail message that the books were added to the Kindle store by a company that did not have rights to them, using a self-service function. “When we were notified of this by the rights holder, we removed the illegal copies from our systems and from customers’ devices, and refunded customers,” he said.
Amazon effectively acknowledged that the deletions were a bad idea. “We are changing our systems so that in the future we will not remove books from customers’ devices in these circumstances,” Mr. Herdener said.
Update 2: If you would like to read this political satire blog on your Kindle device, you can subscribe right here.
If you would like to read my other general humor blog on your Kindle reader you can subscribe right here.
And my limerick about firewalls, blogging and Kindles is here.
Mad Kane (Madeleine Begun Kane) is a writer, musician, and "recovering lawyer." She won the Robert Benchley Society Award For Humor and enjoys writing limericks, song parodies, and current events haiku.
You can email her at madkane@madkane.com, visit her non-political humor blog, or stop by her home page.
Pending Celebration (Limerick)
Tuesday, March 14th, 2023I am planning a huge celebration,
Which will feature great food and libation.
The date’s still not set,
But I’m hosting my fête
On the day of Trump’s freedom cessation.
Tags: Crime, Crime and Punishment, Donald Trump, Prison Humor, Punishment Humor, Republicans Humor, Trump, Trump Crimes, Trump Lies, Trump Riot
Posted in Crime, Donald Trump, GOP Humor, Law Satire, Political Commentary, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Trump | Comments Off on Pending Celebration (Limerick)