Conservatives, bummed and bereft,
Due to Donald Trump’s poll number heft,
After searching their brains
To explain his huge gains,
Found the cause: It’s Barack and the Left!
Posts Tagged ‘Conservatives Satire’
Limerick Ode To Planned Ignorance
Tuesday, October 6th, 2015Limerick Ode To Planned Ignorance
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Planned ignorance, such is the scheme
That conservatives love — what a dream:
Withhold info that’s needed
And ought to be heeded.
That’s the key to get wins for their team.
Whitewashing textbooks and refusing to allow the CDC to study gun violence are but two examples.
Horse’s Ass Of A Candidate (Limerick)
Tuesday, August 12th, 2014This could very well be the silliest limerick I’ve ever written. But when the focal point of a political ad appears to be a horse with a huge penis, I can’t help myself. And if you don’t know what I’m referring to, you simply must take a gander at Gary Kiehne and his well-hung horse.
Horse’s Ass Of A Candidate (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
There once was a horse who was mad
Cuz his penis was used in an ad.
“How dare you imply
I’m endorsing that guy!
Scratch my likeness. That candidate’s bad!”
Don’t Be Shocked, But I Compliment Fox News … Sort Of
Wednesday, May 18th, 2011It amazes me that anyone could call David Gregory’s Newt Gingrich interview a “gotcha” interview. Yet that’s exactly what Newt’s been doing in the wake of his campaign’s self-destruction.
However, if you read the Meet The Press transcript, it’s clear that nobody trapped Gingrich into condemning Paul Ryan’s Medicare plan as undesirable “right-wing social engineering.”
So here’s my theory: Newt and his fellow Republicans have been coddled and spoiled by Fox News. As a result, many of them have lost their edge and can no longer handle themselves when asked even-handed questions.
I never thought I’d be saying this but…
Thank You Fox News (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
While Fox has been tempting to mock
Cuz its cov’rage is mostly a crock,
Softball questions spoiled Newt,
Who can’t handle a brute
Like Dave Gregory — Fox News, you rock!
UPDATE: To add to my amusement, Newt Gingrich is trying to forbid people from quoting his Ryan Plan criticism in an ad. Here’s Newt: “any ad which quotes what I said on Sunday is a falsehood. Because I have said publicly those words were inaccurate.”
Lots of luck with that, Newt.
It’s Kristol Clear That Beck Is Nuts
Tuesday, February 8th, 2011I, for one, am enjoying the Bill Kristol / Glenn Beck feud:
Last week, Fox News’ Glenn Beck launched a week-long effort to explain developments in Egypt as only he can. The deranged media personality cooked up truly bizarre conspiracy theories — even by his standards…
Over the weekend, The Weekly Standard’s William Kristol, a Fox News contributor, had seen enough. “[H]ysteria is not a sign of health,” Kristol wrote in a new column. “When Glenn Beck rants about the caliphate taking over the Middle East from Morocco to the Philippines, and lists (invents?) the connections between caliphate-promoters and the American left, he brings to mind no one so much as Robert Welch and the John Birch Society. He’s marginalizing himself, just as his predecessors did back in the early 1960s.”
Now let’s face it — Glenn Beck’s behavior has to be pretty crazy for a neoconservative like Kristol to write that sort of critique. And that brings me to my latest limerick:
It’s Kristol Clear That Beck Is Nuts
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Bill Kristol said Beck’s gone too far,
Which means Glenn’s scaled a very high bar.
Cuz when Bill says enough
To a wingnut, that’s rough.
Yes, Glenn’s sanity’s way under par.
Celebrate Ronald Reagan’s Centennial With St. Reagan’s Song Parody
Sunday, February 6th, 2011Ronald Reagan-worship is even crazier than usual this week. Why? Because it’s the one-hundredth anniversary of Reagan’s birthday. Of course, “Reagan was not the man conservatives claim he was.” Not even close.
Anyway, I was in the middle of reading about all the centennial hoopla, when I suddenly remembered St. Reagan’s Song — a song parody I wrote back in 2003 when CBS caved in to right-wing bullying over a Reagan miniseries. This seems like a good time to re-post my parody lyrics, which you can sing to Just You Wait” from My Fair Lady, by Lerner & Lowe:
St. Reagan’s Song
By Madeleine Begun Kane
He’s a saint, Ronald Reagan, he’s a saint!
You’ll be sorry if you dare to say, he ain’t.
A fine bloke who’s kind and cunning,
Beat the Russians, great with money.
He’s a saint, Ronald Reagan, he’s a saint!
Reagan’s great, scream the wingnuts. Stop that flick!
Don’t you dare disparage Reagan. They’ll be ticked!
They’ll go off and say we’re haters,
Threaten boycotts, claim we’re traitors.
He’s a saint, Ronald Reagan, he’s a saint!
Praise Ronald Reagan!
How the right-wing loves to rewrite history.
Praise Ronald Reagan!
For it’s truth be damned. Old Ron ruled perfectly.
Don’t dare tell he sometimes frowned.
They’ll get stressed and go to town.
How they crow, Ronald Reagan.
Hate his foes, Ronald Reagan.
Ron’s
A
Saint!
They claim that he’s blameless.
What a whopper. What crock.
Go to such lengths to hype him.
Might well call him Saint Ron.
They swear that Ron Reagan’s great.
They’ll brook not a doubt.
And want all our nation his praises to shout.
They freak if a liberal dares say,
He’s not saintly or princely. No way!
They want networks to celebrate the glory of Ron.
If they don’t say he’s fabulous, then ads will be gone.
Thanks CBS for your cowardly cave.
Cause all I want is networks to be brave.
Find me a network that’s bold.
Now they run scared and they fold.
Wingnuts tell you Ronald Reagan’s ten feet tall.
And that Reagan is the greatest Prez of all.
We must lift his image higher.
Reagan’s
Most
Admired!
Don’t say nope, Ronald Reagan.
Ask the Pope, Ronald Reagan.
Ron’s
A
Saint!
Mark Sanford, The Not-So-Frugal Traveler
Thursday, September 17th, 2009South Carolina’s Governor Mark Sanford sure has expensive travel habits for such a “frugal conservative.”
The Not-So-Frugal Traveler (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Making staffers use each Post-It side,
Mark Sanford would wastefulness chide.
Then he’d charter a plane,
Throwing cash down the drain.
Sanford sure took his state for a ride.
Related Posts: Ode to Mark “Sweet Talker” Sanford; Mark Sanford’s Trail … Of Hypocrisy; and Mark Sanford — Lost? Or Losing It?
Alpha-Political Verse 2009
Thursday, August 27th, 2009From time to time, I write an alphabetical poem summing up a period’s zany and significant political moments. (My last one said goodbye and good riddance to Bush and Cheney.)
Although Barack Obama’s administration is still relatively new, there’s already plenty of material for another piece of alpha-political poetry:
A is for Alaska with its lovely Russian view.
B is for the Birthers who will rant and rave on cue.
C is for conservatives co-opted by the loons.
D is for each Democrat who caves and often swoons.
E is for elections that just never seem to stop.
F’s for raising endless funds so pols will stay on on top.
G’s for GOPers who so love to misinform.
H is for our health care — much in need of broad reform.
I is for insurance co’s. They love the status quo.
J’s for Joseph Lieberman. He really needs to go.
K’s for Teddy Kennedy whose legacy is great.
L is for Rush Limbaugh whose big talent’s spreading hate.
M’s for John McCain who’s always on a Sunday show.
N’s for nihilist congressmen, so fond of saying “No!”
O is for Obama. Hope he’s worthy of his rise.
P is for Fox pundits and their “fair and balanced” lies.
Q is for the questions town hall crackpots often pose.
R’s for right-wing zealots who are truthful-info foes.
S is for Mark Sanford’s Argentinean affair.
T’s for Texans Perry and Pete Sessions. What a pair!
U is the USA. There’s greatness at its core.
V’s for fam’ly values preached by hypocrites galore.
W’s for Dubya and the mess he left behind.
X and Y and Z are hard. Their rhymes I can not find.
Tags: Conservatives Satire, GOP Lies, House Republicans, Obama poem, Republican Hypocrisy, Senate Humor
Posted in GOP Humor, Political Commentary, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Wingnuts | 3 Comments »