Limerick Farewell To Anthony Wiener
By Madeleine Begun Kane
I’m feeling forlorn, but resigned.
We have lost a great liberal mind.
There was really no choice
But to lose Weiner’s voice—
His behavior put Dems in a bind.
Let’s hope this is only a pause—
That one day he’ll be cured of his flaws—
With the passage of time
He’ll arise from the slime
And further our liberal cause.
White House and Congress
bought and managed by donors —
puppet theater.
*****
An epidemic —
political hypocrites —
Today’s GOP.
*****
Unlimited cash
from corporations to pols —
democracy dies.
****
Economic growth
still not translating to jobs —
Republicans shrug.
*****
Republican cuts
to budget sure to kill jobs —
Boehner: “So be it.”
*****
Deliberately
destroying economy
seemed unthinkable.
No longer a silly thought —
GOP election goal.
******
Author’s Note: These haiku and tanka were inspired in part by the following prompts: puppet, epidemic, unlimited, growth, and silly.
As Steve Benen points out, we’ve already tried incrementalism. Nonetheless, Senator Lamar Alexander (R-Tenn.) keeps asserting that Congress can’t pass major legislation and should instead do things in bits and pieces.
Of course, Lamar and his fellow Republicans would say and do just about anything to prevent Democrats from passing comprehensive health care reform.
Lamar has earned himself a limerick:
A Limerick For Lamar
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Incremental reforms are the best,
Claims Lamar in support of his quest.
Sweeping change is too hard,
Says this Sen. to retard
All our health reform progress. Quelle peste!
On behalf of my fellow New Yorkers, I want to thank Sarah Palin for her generous gift to the State of New York. Palin’s leadership in driving moderates like Dede Scozzafava out of the Republican party handed New York Democrats a Congressional Seat (District 23) that had eluded Dems for well over a century.
Thanks also to Dick Armey for his help in electing Democrat Bill Owens. (I understand Conservative Party candidate Doug Hoffman has a big, wet kiss for Dick Armey too.)
And now it’s time for a limerick:
Celebrating Sarah
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Dear Sarah, your meddling is great.
I just love what you did to my state.
Your GOP purge
Will make Democrats surge
As you spread anti-moderates hate.
Planning to attend a local town hall meeting about health care reform? Hoping to learn something and to express your opinion?
Well, be sure to bring a pair of ear plugs. Because the only thing you’re likely to hear is an enraged, screaming mob. And the only thing you’re likely to learn is that it’s frustrating and possibly dangerous to be a Democratic Congressperson.
Here’s my limerick about the right-wing scheme to stifle intelligent discussion of the issues by inciting angry mobs to shout down these meetings.
Tantrum Politics
By Madeleine Begun Kane
If reform can’t be fought using facts,
Simply give civil discourse the ax.
Block discussion with mobs
Packed with morons like Dobbs.
That’s the path of Republican hacks.
Related Posts: An Open Limerick To President Obama; Republicans Were For “Death Panels” Before They Were Against Them; and Waterloo Lies
I have some new competition in the political poetry arena. Apparently, former Arkansas Gov. Mike Huckabee fancies himself a poet and has written an anti-Pelosi screed in the form of a really bad poem called Fancy Nancy. Here’s a taste of Huckabee’s versification:
Here’s a story about a lady named Nancy
A ruthless politician, but dressed very fancy
Very ambitious, she got herself elected Speaker
But as for keeping secrets, she proved quite a “leaker.”***
If forced to believe whether the CIA and her colleagues in Congress are lying;
Or it’s Speaker Pelosi whose credibility and career is dying.
I believe in the integrity of the men and women who sacrifice to keep us safe;
Not the woman who has been caught flat-footed, lying to our face.***
Mike Huckabee deserves a limerick, don’t you think?
Ode to Mike “The Poet” Huckabee
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Dear Huck, you’ve no rhythm or rhyme,
And your verse about Nancy’s a crime.
Your ditty ain’t witty.
Your talent is bitty.
Your poetry’s awful. Try mime.
Republicans are truly gifted at changing the subject, and the media falls for it every time. Take CIA torture, for instance. Is the media focusing on who in the Bush administration broke the law and ordered torture? Of course not! Instead, the topic’s morphed into whether Nancy Pelosi is lying when she says the CIA misled Congress about torture.
Following Republican logic is never an easy task. But from what I can gather, here’s the Republican position: Bush’s CIA did nothing wrong, & Pelosi could have and should have stopped them.
In honor of the Republicans tortured position on torture, I’ve written them a theme song to the tune of Stephen Foster’s Camptown Races:
The “We Did Nothing Wrong, & Nancy Should Have Stopped Us” Song
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The CIA did nothing wrong.
Doo-da, Doo-da.
Pelosi knew and went along.
Oh, de doo-da day.
Torture is always right.
Torture can make our day.
And Nancy’s nothing but a lying nag.
She could have got in the way.
Interrogation must be tough.
Doo-da, Doo-da.
Pelosi knew we got too rough.
Oh, de doo-da day.
Never did break no laws.
Torture? Who, us? No way!
Pelosi’s nothing but a lying hag.
Nancy would lead you astray.
The CIA protects us all.
Doo-da, Doo-da.
It’s time Pelosi took the fall.
Oh, de doo-da day.
Torture was never done.
Torture is lots of fun.
And Nancy’s nothing but a lying nag.
Nancy Pelosi should pay.
Republicans (and Joe Lieberman) have been staging yet another temper tantrum. What’s their grievance du jour? Speaker Nancy Pelosi said CIA leaders misled Congress about interrogation techniques.
My Homage To Feigned Outrage
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The CIA’s under attack
By the Speaker who gave it a smack.
She accused it of lying.
The GOP’s crying:
She’s mean and must take it all back.
Mad Kane (Madeleine Begun Kane) is a writer, musician, and "recovering lawyer." She won the Robert Benchley Society Award For Humor and enjoys writing limericks, song parodies, and current events haiku.
You can email her at madkane@madkane.com, visit her non-political humor blog, or stop by her home page.
Rep. Broun’s SOTU Claptrap
Friday, January 21st, 2011Although I have strong feelings about most things political, I don’t care whether Democrats and Republicans adopt Sen. Mark Udall’s (D-CO) proposal to sit together during Obama’s State of the Union address. I suppose it’s a nice civility gesture. But I just don’t think it makes much of a difference one way or another.
That said, I think the frequently uncivil Rep. Paul Broun’s (R-GA) reaction to the mixed seating proposal was absurd:
That brings me to my latest limerick:
Rep. Broun’s SOTU Claptrap
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Rep. Broun is a very odd chap:
Says mixed seating at SOTU’s a “trap.”
When “Obama spews out
All his venom” can’t shout.
Nearby Dems might force poor Broun to clap.
Tags: Civility Humor, Congress Humor, Mark Udall, Mixed Seating, Paul Broun, President Obama, SOTU, State Of The Union Address
Posted in 44 Humor, Barack Obama, Congress Humor, GOP Humor, House Satire, Political Commentary, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Washington, White House, Wingnuts | 2 Comments »