By now, you’ve surely heard about Lauren Boebert’s Beetlejuice “performance.” Here’s an entertaining column about Boebert somehow managing to outdo herself in the indecency department.
And here’s my latest limerick:
“Pious” Boebert’s well-known for her rudeness,
Even crudeness (though surely not shrewdness.)
Her vulgar display
At a play made my day:
An infamous “born-again” lewdness.
If you’re a Colorado spouse abuser, take heart: Republicans have vowed to protect your right to bear arms against Dem meanies, who mean to take it away.
Clueless In Colorado (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Good news for domestic abusers,
Bad news for their victim-accusers:
Colorado is where
The Republicans swear
To guard gun rights for battering bruisers.
Pity the poor political journalist (or political satirist), who must conjure up constant commentary about a race that’s effectively over.
So it’s no wonder that the media’s in a tizzy over the Rick Santorum Sweep … even though it yielded Rick zero delegates.
Rick Gives Them Something To Talk About (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The press was beginning to mope.
But Santorum’s three wins offer hope
That the race isn’t done,
Mitt may NOT be the one.
But does Rick stand a chance? Answer: Nope!
Republican Ken Buck debated Sen. Michael Bennet (D) during Sunday’s Meet the Press Colorado Senate debate, and things didn’t go well for him. When host David Gregory asked whether being gay is a choice, Buck said yes, and added: “I think that birth has an influence…like alcoholism and some other things, but I think that basically, you have a choice.”
That leads me to my latest limerick:
Anti-Gay Bunk From Ken Buck
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Mr. Buck spewed some anti-gay bunk:
Compared gayness to being a drunk,
Then went on to say gays
Choose their gay life-style ways.
Please don’t vote for that gay-bashing punk.
Last week I managed to avoid the Balloon Boy media frenzy. Reality show participants with an endangered child on an AWOL helium balloon? Yeah … right. Then again, I don’t spend my time watching kids being rescued from wells either.
In any event, I’m not surprised that Wife Swap participants (and reality TV series pitchers) Richard and Mayumi Heene may be arrested for “concocting a publicity stunt by pretending that their young son [Falcon] had climbed aboard a homemade helium balloon and was hurtling through the skies above Fort Collins, Colo.”
The Heenes’ lawyer David Lane expects the Larimer County Sheriff’s Office to file charges this week, and Denver man Robert Thomas says Richard Heene gave him advance word of a media stunt.
And that brings me to my latest limerick:
Heinous Heenes?
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Two publicity mongers named Heene
Are accused of a hoax quite obscene:
Claimed their wayward balloon
Held their child. Opportune
For a shot at “reality” green.
Update: I’ve heard the Heenes’ name pronounced three different ways, two of which screw up my rhyme scheme. Since I’m not sure which pronunciation is correct, I guess I’ll leave my limerick up as written.
Mad Kane (Madeleine Begun Kane) is a writer, musician, and "recovering lawyer." She won the Robert Benchley Society Award For Humor and enjoys writing limericks, song parodies, and current events haiku.
You can email her at madkane@madkane.com, visit her non-political humor blog, or stop by her home page.
When Is A Slap, Not A Slap?
Monday, October 18th, 2010Talk about your faux controversies! Taegan Goddard posted a debate video of Democrat Rep. Ed Perlmutter and Republican challenger Ryan Frazier along with this comment: “Note to candidates: No matter how annoying your opponent may be, don’t slap them.”
So I click on the video, expecting to see an actual slap. Instead I see two men in a heated debate, both of whom are gesticulating wildly and invading each other’s space, and one of whom (Frazier) is being incredibly annoying.
Physical contact was inevitable the way both men were moving their arms and hands. And so at one point, Perlmutter’s hand brushed Frazier’s hand, and Frazier actually said: “Ed, don’t hit me man, come on!” Then Perlmutter, who certainly hadn’t hit Frazier, got all milk-toasty, saying: “Sorry. Sorry. You’re right. Sorry. You’re right.”
So now Permutter’s getting a slaphappy rep, and everyone’s arguing about nonsense, instead of the issues. Even Ann Althouse finds the whole thing silly.
And that brings me to my latest limerick:
When Is A Slap Not A Slap?
By Madeleine Begun Kane
This motion described as a slap
Was barely the teeniest tap:
A mere touch — nothing more,
Cuz each man moved galore.
They should each keep their hands on their lap.
Tags: Ann Althouse, Campaign Satire, Colorado, Debate Limerick, Ed Perlmutter, Election Humor, Ryan Frazier, Taegan Goddard
Posted in Campaign Humor, Debate Humor, Election Satire, Faux Controversies, Political Commentary, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire | 2 Comments »