I can’t believe I’m writing this, but I almost feel sorry for Christine O’Donnell. No, I’m not talking about O’Donnell’s paltry book sales. I’m referring to her being bigfooted by Sarah Palin out of an appearance at a Tea Party of America rally.
Limerick Ode To Sarah “Bigfoot” Palin
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Sarah Palin’s a very spoiled brat.
To other gal pols she says, “Scat!”
Prima donna bar none —
She would bar ev’ry one,
Looking down from her very high hat.
Delaware’s Christine O’Donnell may have lost her U.S. Senatorial campaign big time, but she isn’t through entertaining us. No … Fox News hasn’t hired her. Not yet, anyway. But she’s currently in the news because the U.S. Justice Department and the FBI are investigating her alleged misuse of campaign funds for rent and other personal expenses.
One former O’Donnell staffer, Kristin Murray, recorded an automated phone call for the Delaware Republican Party just before the primary, accusing O’Donnell of “living on campaign donations — using them for rent and personal expenses, while leaving her workers unpaid and piling up thousands in debt.
Another former aide, David Keegan, said he became concerned about O’Donnell’s 2008 campaign finances as she fell behind on bills and had no apparent source of income besides political contributions. He submitted an affidavit to CREW alleging that she used campaign money to cover meals, gas, a bowling outing, and rent to a landlord, Brent Vasher.
Christine O’Donnell’s response is to call the Fed investigation “thug tactics.” And my response is to write a limerick:
Christine O’Donnell: Not A Witch, But Possibly A Jailbird
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Here’s some news that’s delightfully rich:
Seems that gal who denies she’s a witch
Unlawfully spent
Campaign cash on her rent,
Which could land her a Fed prison hitch.
By now you’ve surely heard about Delaware Republican Senatorial candidate Christine O’Donnell’s astonishing screw-up in her debate against opponent Chris Coons. I’m speaking, of course, of her First Amendment gaffe. In her now infamous exchange (in a law school, yet) Tea-Partier O’Donnell “appeared to be aggressively ignorant of the fact that the First Amendment requires the separation of church and state.”
That brings me to my latest Limerick:
Yet Another Limerick Ode To Christine O’Donnell
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Debating our Fed Constitution
Can be tough when your grasp’s Lilliputian:
Hence O’Donnell’s conflation
Of church and our nation.
Her savvy could use evolution.
(Here’s my previous limerick about Christine O’Donnell.)
Limerick Ode To Christine O’Donnell
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Dear Christine, so I see that your pitch
Is to claim that you aren’t a witch.
It’s not witches I mind,
But your viewpoints unkind:
Anti-gay! Anti-feminist! Bitch!
Mad Kane (Madeleine Begun Kane) is a writer, musician, and "recovering lawyer." She won the Robert Benchley Society Award For Humor and enjoys writing limericks, song parodies, and current events haiku.
You can email her at madkane@madkane.com, visit her non-political humor blog, or stop by her home page.
Radical Verse
Thursday, September 16th, 2010Scary people keep winning Republican primaries. For instance:
* Christine O’Donnell in Delaware’s Senate race
* Carl Paladino in New York’s gubernatorial race
* Joe Miller in Alaska’s Senate race
* Rand Paul in Kentucky’s Senate race
* Sharron Angle in Nevada’s Senate race
Yes, I know all about the conventional wisdom — that Democrats should be happy because these extremist Republicans can’t win general elections. But conventional wisdom can sometimes be rather unwise. After all, these candidates weren’t supposed to win the primaries either. Yet here we are.
That brings me to my latest two-verse limerick:
Radical Verse
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The primaries made it quite clear
That our nation could lose all that’s dear.
The ballots are toted.
Republicans voted
For radicals. Dems, please don’t cheer.
I’ve been hearing some “general” spin
That these loons can’t November’s vote win.
This assumption’s not sound.
We’re in trouble profound.
We don’t fight? They’ll be in … just like Flynn.
Tags: Campaign Satire, Carl Paladino, Christine O'Donnell, Conventional Wisdom, Election Humor, Joe Miller, Rand Paul, Republican Primary, Sharron Angle, Tea Party Members
Posted in Election Satire, GOP Humor, Kentucky Humor, Nevada Humor, New York Politics, Political Commentary, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Rand Paul, Republicans Humor, Tea Parties, Voting Satire, Wingnuts | 5 Comments »