Posts Tagged ‘Christian Broadcasting Network’

Limerick Ode To “Normal” Newt Gingrich

Wednesday, January 25th, 2012

According to Newt Gingrich, his serial wife-cheating makes him “normal,” better able to relate to the problems of average people, and more electable. You’ve got to give that fellow Brownie-points for creativity. Who else could turn multiple affairs into a plus?

In an interview with the Christian Broadcasting Network this afternoon, Newt Gingrich picked up Rick Perry’s torch in the so-called “war on religion,” promising that he would fight back against judges who are “trying to drive God out of life.” The thrice-married Speaker then defended his personal marital history, claiming his multiple affairs “make me more normal than somebody who wanders around seeming perfect” because he can understand “the human condition and challenges of life for normal people.”

Limerick Ode To “Normal” Newt Gingrich
By Madeleine Begun Kane

My affairs make me “normal,” says Newt.
As defenses go, Newt’s is a beaut:
Seems perfection is bad,
And unless you’re a cad,
Your empathy skills are minute.

Limerick Ode To Herman Cain

Monday, October 10th, 2011

Herman Cain was interviewed by CBN’s David Brody and uttered this priceless quote regarding his readiness for “gotcha questions:”

“When they ask me who’s the president of Ubeki-beki-beki-beki-stan-stan I’m going to say you know, I don’t know. Do you know? And then I’m going to say how’s that going to create one job?”

Limerick Ode To Herman Cain
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Herman Cain has an answer he’ll lob
At the press in a weave and a bob:
When he’s gotcha-ness leery
He’ll sneer at the query,
“How’s that going to create one job?”