Posts Tagged ‘Affairs’

Limerick Ode To “Normal” Newt Gingrich

Wednesday, January 25th, 2012

According to Newt Gingrich, his serial wife-cheating makes him “normal,” better able to relate to the problems of average people, and more electable. You’ve got to give that fellow Brownie-points for creativity. Who else could turn multiple affairs into a plus?

In an interview with the Christian Broadcasting Network this afternoon, Newt Gingrich picked up Rick Perry’s torch in the so-called “war on religion,” promising that he would fight back against judges who are “trying to drive God out of life.” The thrice-married Speaker then defended his personal marital history, claiming his multiple affairs “make me more normal than somebody who wanders around seeming perfect” because he can understand “the human condition and challenges of life for normal people.”

Limerick Ode To “Normal” Newt Gingrich
By Madeleine Begun Kane

My affairs make me “normal,” says Newt.
As defenses go, Newt’s is a beaut:
Seems perfection is bad,
And unless you’re a cad,
Your empathy skills are minute.

Mark Sanford’s Trail … Of Hypocrisy

Wednesday, June 24th, 2009

All the explanations for Gov. Mark Sanford’s absence — the recharging, the writing, the catching up on projects, the naked Appalachian Trail hiking — are officially inoperative. Come to think of it, Sanford did take a hike — from his obligations to his wife and family and to his constituents.

A secret Argentinean affair! Wow! You have to give the righteous Republican Brownie points for creativity:

Mark Sanford’s Trail … Of Hypocrisy (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

The myst’ry of Sanford is solved.
We have learned an affair is involved.
Argentinean tryst!
Now that’s quite a twist.
Say goodbye to his Prez hopes. Dissolved!