Archive for the ‘Texas Humor’ Category

Ode To The Wingnutty Pete Sessions

Tuesday, May 12th, 2009

It sounds like Texas Congressman Pete Sessions could use some … uh … sessions on somebody’s couch.

… Representative Pete Sessions of Texas, may indeed face an uphill fight with his argument that Mr. Obama is not trying to create jobs. In an interview, Mr. Sessions cited rising unemployment in asserting that the administration intended to “diminish employment and diminish stock prices” as part of a “divide and conquer” strategy to consolidate power.

Ode To The Wingnutty Pete Sessions
By Madeleine Begun Kane

The Texas Republican Sessions
Likes to conjure up lib’ral transgressions:
Claims Barack to build power
Made stocks and jobs sour.
Pete needs help from the head-shrink professions.

Secession? Did I Say Secession?

Sunday, April 26th, 2009

For such a fan of secession, Texas Gov. Rick Perry sure is quick to ask for federal bucks. Hurricane disaster assistance? Check. Antiviral medications to combat swine flu? Check.

Now I live just two miles from the Fresh Meadows, Queens, New York swine flu outbreak at St. Francis Prep School. And I’m all for sending swine flu meds to needy areas like Texas. I just wish Texas didn’t have such a hypocrite for a governor.

And that brings me to my latest limerick:

Secession? Did I Say Secession?
By Madeleine Begun Kane

My Texas is quite independent,
Said Rick Perry — secession-defendant.
Then he called for the feds
To send anti-flu meds.
With hypocrisy Perry’s resplendent.

Yet Another Ode To Republican Hypocrisy

Sunday, April 19th, 2009

My latest double limerick, written in an antibiotic haze and inspired by Texas Gov. Rick Perry’s secession talk brouhaha:

Yet Another Ode To Republican Hypocrisy
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Under Bush left-dissent equaled treason.
So Republicans claimed without reason.
Now Obama is prez
(A commie Chavez)
And secession is righteous — not teasin’.

Yes Gov. Perry and co. say it’s fine —
This unconstitutional whine:
Secede cuz Barack
Is a Europy Jacques.
Then they pray to Ron Reagan. Divine!

Seeing Red Over Rep. Betty Brown

Saturday, April 11th, 2009

I’m a bit late on the “Asians should change their names” story. But I do have the “on vacation” and “under the weather” excuse.

Texas state representative Betty Brown (R-Terrell, in North Texas) caused a ruckus on Tuesday by saying, during testimony about voter ID legislation, that Asians would have an easier time of getting along if they simply changed their names.

“Rather than everyone here having to learn Chinese — I understand it’s a rather difficult language — do you think that it would behoove you and your citizens to adopt a name that we could deal with more readily here?”

If anyone deserves a double limerick, it’s Rep. Betty Brown:

Seeing Red Over Rep. Betty Brown
By Madeleine Begun Kane

If your name hails from Asia, it’s hard.
So don’t bitch if your ballot is barred.
Said Rep. Brown, “Change your name,”
Cuz your name is to blame
For confusing us. What a canard!

Please take heed if your name’s Cho or Wu,
And here’s what I think you should do:
Simply pity Rep. Brown.
She’s a prejudiced clown.
La femme est chauvine et sans clue.