The Republicans’ racist attacks
On Brown Jackson ignored all the facts.
And their dog whistle smears
Even pissed off some peers:
Sasse assessment? “Jackassery” acts.
Archive for the ‘Ted Cruz’ Category
Jackasses Attack Jackson (Limerick)
Thursday, March 24th, 2022Callous Cruz (Limerick)
Saturday, February 20th, 2021Did the frigid Ted Cruz flee his state
For a resort? (Cancún!) Yes, damn straight!
Let someone else master
The Texas disaster!
Why should Ted freeze his ass or his pate?
Open Limerick To Ted Cruz On Suspending His Campaign
Tuesday, May 3rd, 2016Dear Ted, you’re a wack and a hack,
And I’m tempted to make a snide crack,
But I almost feel pity;
It sure won’t be pretty
When Senators “welcome” you back.
Open Limerick To Ted Cruz
Thursday, April 28th, 2016Dear Ted, if you’re trying to woo
Hoosiers’ fans, here is what NOT to do:
Call that “hoop” thing a “ring.”
(Also Carly can’t sing.)
Lots of luck with your GOP coup.
Cruz & Carly — A Match Made In Political Hell (Limerick)
Thursday, April 28th, 2016Can Carly help Teddy prevail?
His desp’rate Hail Mary will fail.
Though she’s brighter than Palin,
Ted’s ‘woman card’s’ ailin’.
(Are we SURE Carly isn’t a male?)
Cruz Vetting Fiorina as Possible Running Mate (A Limerick Response)
Monday, April 25th, 2016Just imagine the horror if Cruz
Names Carly for VEEP. Pour the booze!
To see ’em’s to hate ’em
And long to berate ’em.
Even worse, each espouses foul views.
Ted Cruz’s Open Limerick To Donald Trump
Thursday, April 7th, 2016Cruz was so thrilled by this headline, that he wrote Trump a limerick:
G.O.P. Donors, Eager to Defeat Donald Trump, Learn to Love Ted Cruz.
Dear Donald, I’m writing to say
You’ve a talent for making my day;
Cuz of you, the elite
Have embraced me — a feat
That’s far-fetched, without you in the fray.
Cruz Campaign Up To Its Old, Dirty Tricks (Limerick)
Tuesday, March 8th, 2016Here we go again: “Rubio camp accuses Cruz of ‘dirty tricks’ over Hawaii ‘dropout’ email.”
Dirty tricks before votes — Oy gevalt!
Yet another election assault!
And it’s always Ted’s team
That’s behind the false meme.
Yet somehow it’s never Ted’s fault.
GOP Debates, Then And Now (2-Verse Limerick)
Monday, March 7th, 2016Campaign debates used to be boring,
And could lead to some serious snoring;
As the pols prattled on
Going hither and … yawn…
I was known to nod off on the flooring.
But debates are quite diff’rent this year;
On the GOP side you will hear
Words that won’t let you sleep
And just might make you weep,
As the bullies hurl slurs, leer, and sneer.
GOP Debates — Too Off-Color For Jerry Springer? (Limerick)
Saturday, March 5th, 2016I love this Jerry Springer quote about the Republican presidential candidates:
Clearly they could be on our show, but now they’ve gone off the deep end, and we would start bleeping out some of what they’d say.
Tabloid talk show host Springer has peeped
At debates (GOP) and has heaped
A critique rather wise;
If he hosted those guys,
They surely would have to be bleeped.
The GOP’s Thorny Path Backward (Limerick)
Wednesday, March 2nd, 2016Ben Carson is apparently dropping out of the Republican presidential contest. But Marco Rubio and John Kasich are desperately hanging on. And the GOP needs a two (evil) man race between Trump and Ted in order to have any shot at a non-Trump nominee.
I feel the Republicans’ pain.
They keep failing to halt Donald’s gain.
So unless they persuade
All but Ted to downgrade
Their ambitions, their clout’s down the drain.
Pot, Meet Kettle (Limerick)
Sunday, February 14th, 2016Says Rubio: “Cruz is a liar.”
I concur: Cruz’s pants are on fire.
But Ted’s hardly alone;
GOPers are prone
To eschew any truth in their choir.
The State of the Republican Race (Limerick)
Thursday, February 11th, 2016We’ve three Js in the race: Jeb, Jim, John.
(Bush and Gilmore and Kasich ain’t gone.)
Sleepy Ben, Grumpy Trump,
Cruz, and Marco still stump,
As the GOP con game drones on.
7 Candidates In 5 Lines (Limerick)
Tuesday, February 9th, 2016Marco Rubio’s rather robotic.
Carly lies, and Jeb Bush seems neurotic.
Then there’s Carson, a snooze,
Bully Christie, vile Cruz,
And the narcissist: Trump “the Despotic.”
Trump Trumped In Iowa (Limerick)
Tuesday, February 2nd, 2016I’m certain “The Donald” is mad.
He’s a “LOSER” to Cruz, and I’d add,
More embarrassing yet
Is his delegate net;
It did NOT exceed Marco’s. Poor lad!
Yes, not only did Cruz beat Trump by 3.3 percent, but Marco Rubio was only 1.2 percent behind Trump, tying him in terms of delegate yields:
Ted Cruz’s victory in the Iowa caucuses means he’ll collect eight delegates to the Republican National Convention.
Donald Trump and Marco Rubio each get seven from the opening contest in the 2016 presidential race.
Limerick Ode To Ted “Everyman” Cruz (Limerick)
Thursday, January 14th, 2016Headline of the Day: “Ted Cruz Didn’t Report Goldman Sachs Loan in a Senate Race.”
“I’m a populist guy to the bone.
I got all that I have on my own.”
That’s the message Cruz flacks,
Leaving out Goldman Sachs
And that million-buck Senate-race loan.
Could The Birthers Be Right About Cruz? (Limerick)
Tuesday, January 12th, 2016How ironic! According to Harvard law professor Laurence Tribe, the very type of constitutional “originalist” judge that Ted Cruz says he’d appoint to the U.S. Supreme Court, is the very sort of judge who’d deem Cruz unqualified to be president by reason of his Canadian birthplace.
Trump’s Birther attack on Ted Cruz
Seemed, at first, like some dumb Donald news.
But a judge of the sort
Ted Cruz likes would retort:
“Call Cruz ‘natural born?’ I refuse!”
Here’s Tribe, as quoted by The Guardian:
“…the kind of judge Cruz says he admires and would appoint to the supreme court – an ‘originalist’ who claims to be bound by the historical meaning of the constitution’s terms at the time of their adoption – Cruz wouldn’t be eligible because the legal principles that prevailed in the 1780s and 90s required that someone be born on US soil to be a ‘natural born’ citizen.”
“Even having two US parents wouldn’t suffice for a genuine originalist. And having just an American mother, as Cruz did, would clearly have been insufficient at a time that made patrilineal descent decisive…”
Limerick Ode To “Bad Boy” Cruz
Sunday, December 27th, 2015Ted Cruz is the Senate’s “bad boy,”
But for Teddy that title’s a ploy;
The more INSIDERS hate him,
Despise and berate him,
The more he’s the hoi polloi’s joy.
What Can They Be Thinking? (2-Verse Limerick)
Thursday, July 30th, 2015What Can They Be Thinking? (2-Verse Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Gilmore’s entered the race. What a snore!
(Does the GOP really need MORE?)
Sixteen guys and one gal–
Most with no rationale
For believing they’ll get to the fore.
Just what keeps them all willing to stump,
As their poll numbers tumble and slump?
While they stand at the brink,
I suppose most pols think:
“I must surely be better than Trump!”
