Archive for the ‘Tea Parties’ Category
Wednesday, October 6th, 2010
I’m a liberal New York Democrat, and I’ll say one thing for Carl Paladino — the guy has chutzpah. After his bizarre, near-violent attack on the New York Post’s Fred Dicker last week, he had the audacity to describe gubernatorial opponent Andrew Cuomo as “out of control.”
Apparently this is how an in-control candidate behaves:
1. Accuses his opponent (Andrew Cuomo) of cheating on wife.
2. Accuses Rupert Murdoch’s New York Post of bias because it didn’t ask Cuomo about wife-cheating.
3. Menaces and comes dangerously close to physically harming the old, frail-looking Fred Dicker because Dicker had the audacity to ask if he had any evidence that Cuomo cheated on his wife.
4. Promises to produce wife-cheating evidence at the appropriate time.
5. Denies that he promised to produce wife-cheating evidence.
6. After a video of his bullying, abusive, and near-violent attack on Dicker draws a negative response and a loose cannon perception, even among Republicans, tells the Wall Street Journal he wants to focus on the issues.
Limerick Ode To Carl Paladino
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Paladino is always irate,
Spreading venom and anger and hate.
He claims to be able,
But seems quite unstable.
If he wins, we are screwed — no debate.
Tags: Andrew Cuomo, Campaign Satire, Carl Paladino, Election Humor, Fred Dicker, Media Humor, New York Post, Rupert Murdoch, Wall Street Journal
Posted in Campaign Humor, Carl Paladino, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Media Satire, New York Politics, Political Commentary, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Publicity Hounds, Republicans Humor, Tea Parties, Wingnuts | 2 Comments »
Thursday, September 16th, 2010
Scary people keep winning Republican primaries. For instance:
* Christine O’Donnell in Delaware’s Senate race
* Carl Paladino in New York’s gubernatorial race
* Joe Miller in Alaska’s Senate race
* Rand Paul in Kentucky’s Senate race
* Sharron Angle in Nevada’s Senate race
Yes, I know all about the conventional wisdom — that Democrats should be happy because these extremist Republicans can’t win general elections. But conventional wisdom can sometimes be rather unwise. After all, these candidates weren’t supposed to win the primaries either. Yet here we are.
That brings me to my latest two-verse limerick:
Radical Verse
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The primaries made it quite clear
That our nation could lose all that’s dear.
The ballots are toted.
Republicans voted
For radicals. Dems, please don’t cheer.
I’ve been hearing some “general” spin
That these loons can’t November’s vote win.
This assumption’s not sound.
We’re in trouble profound.
We don’t fight? They’ll be in … just like Flynn.
Tags: Campaign Satire, Carl Paladino, Christine O'Donnell, Conventional Wisdom, Election Humor, Joe Miller, Rand Paul, Republican Primary, Sharron Angle, Tea Party Members
Posted in Election Satire, GOP Humor, Kentucky Humor, Nevada Humor, New York Politics, Political Commentary, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Rand Paul, Republicans Humor, Tea Parties, Voting Satire, Wingnuts | 5 Comments »
Thursday, August 26th, 2010
I have a dream that one day crazed liars like Glenn Beck will no longer pollute our television and radio waves and the Internet.
I have a dream that one day the American people will stop being suckered by deranged media personalities like Glenn Beck.
I have a dream that one day Glenn Beck will headline a rally like his “restore honor” to America rally scheduled on the anniversary of Martin Luther King’s “I Have A Dream Speech” … and nobody will show up.
My Dream For Glenn Beck … And America (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Oh, I have a dream for Glenn Beck:
That he’ll lose his unending blank check
To spread mad, evil lies
That are greeted as wise,
When they’re really insidious dreck.
Tags: Deranged Media Personalities, Glenn Beck, Martin Luther King, Media Humor, Political Rally
Posted in Fox News Humor, Glenn Beck Satire, Media Satire, Political Limericks, Political Speeches, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Publicity Hounds, Speeches Satire, Tea Parties, Washington, Wingnuts | 7 Comments »
Sunday, May 23rd, 2010
In the wake of his humiliating interview on Rachel Maddow’s MSNBC show, Rand Paul has a serious Civil Rights Act problem. It’s so bad, that he’s already flip-flopping (or pretending to flip-flop) over his views and he was even scared into canceling his scheduled Meet the Press interview.
But Rand Paul isn’t the only guy with a problem — his fellow Republican pols have one too. What do I mean? Well, eventually they’ll have to choose sides: Either stick up for the Republican nominee with the insane views and maintain party loyalty, or disavow Rand Paul’s views and be seen by many as disloyal to the GOP. Good luck with that.
This brings me to my latest three-verse limerick:
Republican Pols — Off or On the Rand-Wagon?
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The Sen. nominee known as Rand
Is as odd as they come in this land.
He says cos are endowed
With this right: All’s allowed.
Paul would give them a fully free hand.
If they want to be racist, they may.
Block the Jews from their doors? That’s okay.
Cuz the gospel of Paul
Is no biz regs at all.
So feel free to go fire a gay.
The Republican leaders must choose
To decry (or endorse) these mad views.
There is no in-between.
There’s no hiding, I mean.
Back the Tea Party Guy, and they lose.
Tags: Civil Rights, GOP, Libertarians, Meet The Press, Rachel Maddow, Rand Paul, Republican Flip-Flops, Republican Humor, Tea Party Members, Wingnuts
Posted in GOP Humor, Political Commentary, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Rachel Maddow, Rand Paul, Republicans Humor, Tea Parties, Wingnuts | 2 Comments »
Monday, May 17th, 2010
Would you like to dump the Department of Education and the Federal Reserve?
Do you believe there’s “collusion between government and industry in the global warming myth”?
Do you think the U.S. should adopt “Austrian Economics,” abrogate the “UN Treaty on Rights of the Child” and the “Law Of The Sea Treaty” and resist “efforts to create a one world government”?
Then do I have a Republican Party Platform for you:
Maine Mishigas (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The Republican Party of Maine
Has apparently gone quite insane.
It has managed to fill
Its new platform with swill.
What an odd way to run a campaign.
But citizens tend to ignore
Party platforms — they’re often a bore.
So Dems, spread the word
Re this platform absurd.
Cuz (if known) it has little allure.
Note: I suppose a crazy party platform should be expected from people who’d behave like this while they’re adopting it:
The Republican State Convention was held at the Portland Exposition Building, which is on Park Avenue, near the middle school. Party members from Knox County caucused in a classroom used by eighth-grade social studies teacher Paul Clifford.
When Clifford returned to school on Monday, he found that a favorite poster about the U.S. labor movement had been taken and replaced with a bumper sticker that read, “Working People Vote Republican.”
Later, Clifford learned that his classroom had been searched. Republicans who had attended the convention called Principal Mike McCarthy to complain about “anti-American” things they saw there, including a closed box containing copies of the U.S. Constitution that were published by the American Civil Liberties Union.
Tags: Campaign Satire, Election Humor, Maine Limerick, Party Platforms, Republican Platform Humor, Tea Party Members, Wingnuts
Posted in Campaign Humor, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Maine Satire, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Tea Parties, Wingnuts | 1 Comment »
Thursday, March 4th, 2010
South Carolina is a very entertaining state … if you’re into oddball politicians and very strange laws.
For instance, South Carolina has a little known (until now) law requiring subversive agents to register with the state and pay a five dollar fee.
No, I’m not kidding. If you’d like to overthrow the government, you’re required to register with the government.
Naturally, Tea Party members think this law was passed purposely to target their group. If so, that would make South Carolina pols highly precognitive — the law dates way back to 1951.
But if any subversives do feel the urge to register, they’d better do it soon. Why? Because State Sen. Larry Martin, a Republican, is pushing to repeal it:
“I readily recognize when it had been passed and what the purpose of it was back in the 1950s,” he said. “But I don’t think Osama bin Laden is going to register. It’s outlived its usefulness.”
This cries out for a limerick, don’t you think?
Subversive Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
You’re subversive and live in SC?
There’s no problem — just pay a small fee.
File a form with a fiver.
It’s cheap, you conniver.
You’d best file if you party with tea.
Tags: Larry Martin, Law Satire, Legal Verse, Legislation Humor, Overthrowing Government, South Carolina, State Registration, Subversive Agents, Tea Party Members, Weird Laws
Posted in Law Satire, Legal Limericks, Legislation Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, South Carolina Humor, Tea Parties | Comments Off on Subversive Limerick
Sunday, February 7th, 2010
When I first saw these hilarious photos and video of Sarah Palin’s palm-written Tea Party crib notes, all I could think was:
Notes on your hand,
Notes on your hand,
Lookin’ like a fool
With your notes on your hand.
Sorry, I watch way too much American Idol.
But relying on a cheat-sheet on your left hand during a friendly Q & A session is rich, coming from a woman who disparages President Obama’s (fictitious) inability to speak without a teleprompter.
This brings me to my latest limerick:
Palin’s Runny, Run-On Sentences Finally Explained
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Sarah Palin comes armed when she speaks
With crib notes on “hand” for sneak peeks.
Guess she’d better not wash
Before speeches. Oh gosh,
I sure hope that those scrawls ain’t antiques.
Tags: American Idol, Cheat Sheets, Crib Notes, Obama, Pants On The Ground Parody, Q & A, Run-On Sentences, Sarah Palin, Speeches, Tea Party Convention, Teleprompter
Posted in Political Commentary, Political Limericks, Political Speeches, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Publicity Hounds, Sarah Palin, Song Parodies, Tea Parties | 13 Comments »
Limerick Ode To Carl Paladino
Wednesday, October 6th, 2010I’m a liberal New York Democrat, and I’ll say one thing for Carl Paladino — the guy has chutzpah. After his bizarre, near-violent attack on the New York Post’s Fred Dicker last week, he had the audacity to describe gubernatorial opponent Andrew Cuomo as “out of control.”
Apparently this is how an in-control candidate behaves:
1. Accuses his opponent (Andrew Cuomo) of cheating on wife.
2. Accuses Rupert Murdoch’s New York Post of bias because it didn’t ask Cuomo about wife-cheating.
3. Menaces and comes dangerously close to physically harming the old, frail-looking Fred Dicker because Dicker had the audacity to ask if he had any evidence that Cuomo cheated on his wife.
4. Promises to produce wife-cheating evidence at the appropriate time.
5. Denies that he promised to produce wife-cheating evidence.
6. After a video of his bullying, abusive, and near-violent attack on Dicker draws a negative response and a loose cannon perception, even among Republicans, tells the Wall Street Journal he wants to focus on the issues.
Limerick Ode To Carl Paladino
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Paladino is always irate,
Spreading venom and anger and hate.
He claims to be able,
But seems quite unstable.
If he wins, we are screwed — no debate.
Tags: Andrew Cuomo, Campaign Satire, Carl Paladino, Election Humor, Fred Dicker, Media Humor, New York Post, Rupert Murdoch, Wall Street Journal
Posted in Campaign Humor, Carl Paladino, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Media Satire, New York Politics, Political Commentary, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Publicity Hounds, Republicans Humor, Tea Parties, Wingnuts | 2 Comments »