Archive for the ‘Stock Market Humor’ Category

Trump’s Magic Touch (Limerick)

Tuesday, March 17th, 2020

When the Donald appears on tv,
A deep Dow drop’s a fait accompli.
Into freefall it goes,
Which compounds all our woes…
And with bars closed, there’s nowhere to flee.

Limerick Ode to our Blame-Shirker-In-Chief

Monday, December 24th, 2018

Headline: “Stock Market Rout Has Trump Fixated on Fed Chair Powell

Says Donald, The Fed is at fault
For the stock market’s large downward vault.
Blame Powell, he’ll blurt,
Throwing mud to subvert
The truth, via “facts” that are alt.

Our Shocking News (Limerick)

Friday, December 21st, 2018

The news keeps delivering shocks:
There’s a daily new low for our stocks;
James Mattis resigned;
Trump (as usual) whined;
And we seem to be governed by Fox.

There is plenty more bad news to list,
And the thought of it all makes me pissed.
The government’s closed,
And our nation’s been hosed
By a felon. (Well, you get the gist.)

Trump Fed Up With Fed (Limerick)

Friday, October 19th, 2018

Braggart Trump is fed up with the Fed;
It’s “crazy” and “loco,” he said.
When the stock market falls,
It’s his fall guy. What balls!
Blame his tariffs? Ha! Blame Fed instead!

*****

(After I posted the following limerick on Facebook, Ryan Zinke (under pressure from Democrats, reversed himself and pretended that he’d never even fired Mary Kendall.)

Ryan Zinke is Trump’s kinda guy;
The Interior’s leader says “Why
Should I let an I.G.
Investigate me?”
Then he fires her: Kendall, buh-bye!

Dow Doldrums (Limerick)

Monday, April 2nd, 2018

“The market keeps dropping!” we sob.
And there’s no reassurance from Schwab.
We feel robbed and depressed
And impossibly stressed.
Here’s my message to Donald: Great job!

The Devil In The Oval? (Limerick)

Friday, February 2nd, 2018

When the market is up, Donald crows
And boasts about HIS market close.
Now it’s down “666,”
But Trump’s got a fix:
Only mention the DOW when it grows.

*****
Alternative Version:

When the market is up, Donald crows
And boasts about HIS market close.
With a huge diminution,
Here’s Donald’s solution:
Only mention the DOW when it grows.

Go Away Already, Bushie Spinmeisters!

Monday, March 16th, 2009

The Bush-Cheney spinmeisters refuse to go away. Last week it was Ari Fleischer, and this week it’s Dana Perino on CSPAN’s Washington Journal.

Perino actually said Bush should get some credit for last week’s stock market upswing. And she falsely claimed for the gazillionth time that Bush inherited a recession from Bill Clinton.

U.S. economy as of January 20, 2001. U.S. economy as of January 20, 2009. Exactly the same, right?

Sigh… It’s time for a limerick:

Go Away Already, Bushie Spinmeisters!
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Blame Barack when the stock market drops.
When it rises say Bush deserves props.
That’s Perino’s approach.
(Bush deserves no reproach.)
Yes, at double talk Dana is tops.

Finally, An Up Side To Filing Tax Returns

Monday, March 9th, 2009

Finally, An Up Side To Filing Tax Returns (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

When paying my taxes great pains
Always shoot through my muscles and veins.
But for once there’s relief
From an oft taxing beef:
Schedule D won’t show capital gains.