Archive for the ‘Sarah Palin’ Category

Palin’s Runny, Run-On Sentences Finally Explained

Sunday, February 7th, 2010

When I first saw these hilarious photos and video of Sarah Palin’s palm-written Tea Party crib notes, all I could think was:

Notes on your hand,
Notes on your hand,
Lookin’ like a fool
With your notes on your hand.

Sorry, I watch way too much American Idol.

But relying on a cheat-sheet on your left hand during a friendly Q & A session is rich, coming from a woman who disparages President Obama’s (fictitious) inability to speak without a teleprompter.

This brings me to my latest limerick:

Palin’s Runny, Run-On Sentences Finally Explained
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Sarah Palin comes armed when she speaks
With crib notes on “hand” for sneak peeks.
Guess she’d better not wash
Before speeches. Oh gosh,
I sure hope that those scrawls ain’t antiques.

Celebrating Sarah

Thursday, November 5th, 2009

On behalf of my fellow New Yorkers, I want to thank Sarah Palin for her generous gift to the State of New York. Palin’s leadership in driving moderates like Dede Scozzafava out of the Republican party handed New York Democrats a Congressional Seat (District 23) that had eluded Dems for well over a century.

Thanks also to Dick Armey for his help in electing Democrat Bill Owens. (I understand Conservative Party candidate Doug Hoffman has a big, wet kiss for Dick Armey too.)

And now it’s time for a limerick:

Celebrating Sarah
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Dear Sarah, your meddling is great.
I just love what you did to my state.
Your GOP purge
Will make Democrats surge
As you spread anti-moderates hate.

Republicans Were For “Death Panels” Before They Were Against Them

Sunday, August 16th, 2009

Republican hypocrisy is stunning. Almost everyone who’s been throwing around the “death panel” epithet used to have a very different opinion of end-of-life-care planning:

1) Back in her half-term as Alaska governor, Sarah Palin spoke out for advance healthcare directives in her 2008 Healthcare Decision Day Proclamation.

2) Rush Limbaugh enthusiastically read ad copy championing LegalZoom.com, whose services include do-it-yourself living wills.

3) Newt Gingrich recently advocated for advance directives (end-of-life planning) in his July 2nd Washington Post column.

4) Most Senate and House Republicans voted to fund counseling for end-of-life issues and care in George W. Bush’s 2003 Medicare prescription drug bill.

And that brings me to my latest limerick:

Republicans Were For “Death Panels” Before They Were Against Them
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Dear Sarah and Limbaugh and Newt,
Put your “death panel” nonsense on mute.
Cuz you once were big fans
Of end-of-life plans.
Were they “death panels” too? Now please scoot!

Related Posts: An Open Limerick To President Obama; Tantrum Politics; and Waterloo Lies

Translating Sarah

Sunday, July 5th, 2009

Why does Sarah Palin need to be Alaska’s governor, when she has Facebook?

Translating Sarah
By Madeleine Begun Kane

The media’s mean, so I quit:
(That’s the message that Palin has writ.)
And you don’t need a title
To do something vital.
I’m betting she runs against Mitt.

Flailin’ Palin

Sunday, July 5th, 2009

Help! I can’t keep those Republican governors straight. For instance, why is Sarah Palin giving up her Alaska Governor gig? Some sort of wildlife scandal involving “dead fish” and a “lame duck?”

Flailin’ Palin (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Political blogs are atwitter
With news of Gov. Palin, the quitter.
Is it scandal or plans
To join prez also-rans?
Once aglitter, she’s GOP litter.

Not So Belle

Monday, June 15th, 2009

I tend to avoid embroilment in comment fights. But Sunday was an exception.

Over at Facebook (I’m at facebook.com/madkane, should you wish to befriend me) a George Stephanopoulos post had drawn some really crazed comments. The topic was the Sarah Palin / David Letterman brouhaha, and I couldn’t resist chiming in with this comment:

He was clearly referring to Palin’s unwed-mother/18 year old daughter, who apparently has become a spokesperson for abstinence and is in the public eye thanks to Palin’s actions. He apologized. Palin, instead of accepting his apology in a classy fashion, continues to distort and exploit what he said.

Nine minutes later an outraged woman named (I kid you not) Belle Blessing posted this over-the-top response:

Madelin, maybe you like perverts hanging out their tongues at your daughter or maybe you even offer her up to them. The majority of this American nation who still have their moral values in tack…don’t want the perverts giving second glance. The foundation that this country was founded on had higher moral values than letting the dirt bag over 50 population treat women and girls like sex slaves. The perverts should stick to passing toilet paper under the wall and picking up on other perverted men.

In an exercise of extreme self-control, I posted just this in response:

Dear Belle, I hope you and Sarah Palin will be very happy together. :)

Aren’t you impressed with my self-control?

Not so fast!

Twenty minutes later I just couldn’t help myself. Ms. Belle deserved a limerick, so I posted this:

There once was a woman named Belle,
Who believed I was destined for hell.
So self-righteous was she,
She condemned me with glee
And an arrogance no one could quell.

I feel much better now.

Celebratory Limerick

Wednesday, November 5th, 2008

Congratulations to Senators Obama and Biden. An historic election has come to a wonderful conclusion:

Celebratory Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Dear Obama, congrats on your win.
You have done it.  You’ve won it.  You’re in!
Now your job will be tough.
(Please don’t take any guff.)
Let the national healing begin!

An Obsessive’s Lament

Sunday, November 2nd, 2008

An Obsessive’s Lament (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Writing verse about Palin’s been fun.
But enough!  I must know who has won.
Although something disturbs me,
Alarms and perturbs me:
Just what shall I do when it’s done?

McCain & Palin: The Not Ready For Prime Time Duo

Wednesday, October 29th, 2008

Whenever John McCain is asked about Sarah Palin’s qualifications, he falls back on the paternal-sounding (and condescending) “I couldn’t be more proud” of Palin response.  But something tells me he doesn’t use the word “proud” in private:

McCain & Palin: The Not Ready For Prime Time Duo
By Madeleine Begun Kane

There’s a ticket that can’t get along
Cuz the chemistry’s totally wrong.
John may claim to be proud
Of Gov. Palin out loud.
But his eyes say, “Give Sarah the gong!”

Just Call It The McPettiness Express

Monday, October 27th, 2008

I’m a bit late on this.  But I was amused to read that Joe Klein has suffered the same fate as Maureen Dowd — banishment from the McCain / Palin planes:

Just Call It The McPettiness Express
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Beware of the wrath of McCain.
If you’re mean you’ll be barred from his plane.
You’ll join Klein and Mo Dowd —
That non-patriot crowd.
Wave goodbye to the “straight talk” campaign.

Does Sarah Palin Even Know What “Intellectual” Means?

Thursday, October 23rd, 2008

It’s hard to believe, but Sarah Palin told People Magazine that she’s an “intellectual.” Sorry, Governor Palin, but I’ve known some intellectuals, and you ain’t no intellectual:

Does Sarah Palin Even Know What Intellectual Means?
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Gov. Palin’s astonishing claim?
She’s a smart, “intellectual” dame.
That gal may be bright
And quite tough in a fight,
But her intellect’s woefully lame.

Where’s My Personal Shopper?

Thursday, October 23rd, 2008

After seeing Sarah Palin prance around in so much stylish, pricey-looking apparel, I wrongly assumed Alaska was so sort of fashion Mecca.  But sorry, Alaska.  It turns out that Palin’s $150K wardrobe hails from Saks Fifth Avenue in St. Louis and New York and Neiman Marcus in Minneapolis, all courtesy of the RNC and personal shopper Jeff Larson.

So here’s what I want to know:  Does John McCain’s tax plan provide a $150K tax credit for personal shoppers?

Where’s My Personal Shopper?
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Gov. Palin, you’re taking some heat
For your clothing which, granted, is neat.
But with budgets austere
Why wear clothing so dear?
And just who are you calling elite?

I’m A McPalin Haiku Hysteria Finalist

Tuesday, October 21st, 2008

Cool news!  Nearly 4000 people submitted haiku to the McPalin Haiku Hysteria contest held by People For The American Way and The Nation Magazine.  And I’m one of the twelve finalists!!!  So I’d really appreciate your voting for my haiku here. The three winning haiku will be published in The Nation.

We were allowed to submit up to three haiku, and here are the three I submitted.  (The first one is the haiku that made the finals.)

Palin knows nothing
About the Constitution.
Puppets don’t have to.

An anti-choice veep
Who opposes free rape kits?
Thanks, John, but no thanks.

Would Palin court picks
Destroy the Constitution?
You betcha! Wink, wink.

Ode To Sarah “Geography-Challenged” Palin

Tuesday, October 21st, 2008

Sarah Palin has a very strange relationship with geography.  Who else do you know who:

1) Keeps an eye on Russia from her Alaska bedroom window;
2) Thinks Afghanistan is “our neighboring country;”
3) Describes New Hampshire as being part of our “great Northwest;” and
4) Tells crowds how much she enjoys visiting “pro-America areas” of America. 

Come to think of it, that last one does make some sense to me: Palin’s marriage to a (presumably reformed) secessionist, must surely make meeting pro-America Americans refreshing, indeed.

However,  I do remain concerned about Palin’s Afghanistan and New Hampshire problem:

Ode To Sarah “Geography-Challenged” Palin
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Gov. Palin’s geography gap
Is appalling. Please give her a map.
This isn’t a test,
But New Hampshire? Northwest?
On our “neighbor” Afghanistan’s lap?

Sarah In Wonderland

Sunday, October 12th, 2008

A  bipartisan legislative panel in Alaska finds Sarah Palin guilty of abusing her executive power.  So is Palin contrite?  Hahahahaha!

Actually, I’m find it tough to get my head around Palin’s response.  (Unlike so many Republicans, I’ve never been any  good at holding two contradictory positions at the same time.)

Republican vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin this weekend disregarded an ethics investigator’s finding that she had abused her executive power as Alaska’s governor and instead embraced a second finding in the report to say that she had been cleared of wrongfully firing her state public safety commissioner. …

In a Saturday conference call with Alaska journalists, Palin said she was “pleased to be cleared of any legal wrongdoing … any hint of any kind of unethical activity there.” She denounced the investigation, calling it “a partisan circus.” …

Okay, I’m not positive, but here’s what seems to be the McCain campaign’s official response to the Troopergate ethics violation report: 

1) It  exonerates her; and

2) If it hadn’t been an Obama-controlled hit job, it would have exonerated her.

My head hurts.

Sarah In Wonderland
By Madeleine Begun Kane

So what is Gov. Palin’s excuse
For the finding of power abuse?
She pretends it ain’t there,
While she claims it ain’t fair,
With the facts playing games, fast and loose.

Team Of Liars (Limerick)

Thursday, October 9th, 2008

Team Of Liars
By Madeleine Begun Kane

The McCain/Palin team now is rife
With liars, including John’s wife.
So it’s surely no shock
They’re defaming Barack.
As McCain might say:  John, get a life!

McCain And Palin Make Rudy Look Like A Class Act

Tuesday, October 7th, 2008

It’s not easy to make Rudy Giuliani look like a class act. But both McCain and Palin have managed to do it quite handily.   While Rudy (on at least one occasion) had the decency to chide an audience member for connecting Democrats with terrorists, McCain and Palin apparently feel no such compunction. Why do I say that? Because they greet   anti-Obama audience-shouts like “Treason,”  “Terrorist!” and “Kill!” with silence.

McCain And Palin Make Rudy Look Like A Class Act
By Madeleine Begun Kane

John McCain, I sure hope that you’re proud:
You and Palin prompt rage in a crowd.
Your supporters shout swill:
“Treason!”  “Terrorist!” “Kill!”
Even Rudy would say: Not allowed!

Ode To Attack Dog Palin

Tuesday, October 7th, 2008

Ode To Attack Dog Palin (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Palin proudly proclaims “I don’t blink!”
(Doesn’t count when it’s merely a wink.)
She attacks with a smile,
Throwing lies cross the aisle —
Slimes Barack as a terrorist fink.

Sarah Palin Passes Her Reading Test

Tuesday, October 7th, 2008

Sarah Palin Passes Her Reading Test
By Madeleine Begun Kane

To those who say Palin was best,
I’ll concede she debated with zest.
But she read off her notes
All night long, so your votes
Are based on an open book test.

A Do-Over Supreme Court Test For Palin?

Thursday, October 2nd, 2008

According to Fred Thompson, Sarah Palin’s inability to name a single Supreme Court case she disagrees with wasn’t her fault.  Why not?  Because Katie Couric didn’t give her a list of cases.    I half-expected Thompson to demand  a do-over test.

A Do-Over Supreme Court Test For Palin?
By Madeleine Begun Kane

You’re excused, dear Ms. Palin. Rejoice!
Now that Thompson has lent you his voice,
The court case-test you flunked
Has been strongly debunked
As unfair — wasn’t  multiple choice.