Dear Rachel, you’re back, and we hail
Your return, though you’re still looking pale.
Life without you is cursed,
But your health must come first,
As you help put the Donald in jail.
Archive for the ‘Rachel Maddow’ Category
Limerick Ode To Rachel Maddow
Wednesday, June 7th, 2017Republican Pols — Off or On the Rand-Wagon?
Sunday, May 23rd, 2010In the wake of his humiliating interview on Rachel Maddow’s MSNBC show, Rand Paul has a serious Civil Rights Act problem. It’s so bad, that he’s already flip-flopping (or pretending to flip-flop) over his views and he was even scared into canceling his scheduled Meet the Press interview.
But Rand Paul isn’t the only guy with a problem — his fellow Republican pols have one too. What do I mean? Well, eventually they’ll have to choose sides: Either stick up for the Republican nominee with the insane views and maintain party loyalty, or disavow Rand Paul’s views and be seen by many as disloyal to the GOP. Good luck with that.
This brings me to my latest three-verse limerick:
Republican Pols — Off or On the Rand-Wagon?
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The Sen. nominee known as Rand
Is as odd as they come in this land.
He says cos are endowed
With this right: All’s allowed.
Paul would give them a fully free hand.
If they want to be racist, they may.
Block the Jews from their doors? That’s okay.
Cuz the gospel of Paul
Is no biz regs at all.
So feel free to go fire a gay.
The Republican leaders must choose
To decry (or endorse) these mad views.
There is no in-between.
There’s no hiding, I mean.
Back the Tea Party Guy, and they lose.
Ode To The Deceitful Cheneys
Monday, May 25th, 2009The omni-presence of Dick and Liz Cheney on (as Rachel Maddow loves to call it) “the TV machine” is nearly enough to get me to toss out my televisions. Of course, to have even a shot at avoiding their tortured lies, I’d have to cancel my Net connection, throw out my radios, and avert my eyes in the unlikely event that I encounter a newspaper.
Ode To The Deceitful Cheneys (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
There once was a daughter named Liz
Who joined in the family biz.
The business was lying,
With all members vying
For liar-in-chief — each a wiz.
Banks To Taxpayers: Drop Dead!
Tuesday, December 23rd, 2008Rachel Maddow says “We should all become banks.” Why? Because all it takes for banks to get lots of taxpayer TARP money is a simple two page application. And the best part is that banks don’t have to account for the cash. (Bush’s Treasury Department requires no transparency or accountability.)
That calls for a limerick, don’t you think?
Banks To Taxpayers: Drop Dead!
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Where’s your money? You’ve no right to know.
Banks account for your dough? Ho! Ho! Ho!
We are rich and white collar —
Won’t help if you holler.
Go pester a unionized co!
Ode To David Frum
Tuesday, October 14th, 2008David Frum, infamous for fathering (or at least taking credit for fathering) the phrase “Axis of Evil,” took on the wrong person last night. I’m referring, of course, to Rachel Maddow.
Frum (without any provocation) insulted Maddow several times during his interview on Rachel’s MSNBC show. And the classy and brilliant Maddow let him have it in such a gracious manner, Frum didn’t seem to know what hit him. Bravo Rachel!!!
The contrast between Frum’s rude, condescending behavior and Maddow’s calm, graceful, yet powerful take-down was a beautiful thing to watch. (You can see the Maddow/Frum clip here.)
I thought I’d celebrate with a limerick:
Ode To David Frum
By Madeleine Begun Kane
There once was a fellow named Frum
Who made a mistake rather dumb:
He started a fight
With Ms. Maddow one night.
When she finished, he looked like a bum.
War, Inc. Interruptus
Monday, May 19th, 2008In a parallel universe, Monday night’s New York Film Academy screening of John Cusack’s War, Inc. was great, as was the Rachel Maddow-moderated Q & A that followed the screening. Back on earth, however, the screening didn’t go quite so well. In fact … it barely went at all.
But I’m getting ahead of myself. A few days ago, when my anti-war limericks won me a War, Inc. screening ticket, I thought, “How cool!” And it probably would have been cool, had the attendees gotten to see (and hear) more than a few minutes of the film.
I knew there was trouble almost as soon as the movie started. Both the picture and the sound seemed to come from a copy so worn out, it should have been tossed a good decade before the movie was even conceived.
And that was the good part.
Several minutes into the showing we lost all the sound, during what looked to be a very key scene. And no amount of shouting from the audience could arouse the projectionist from his apparent stupor.
As the movie kept soundlessly going, several of us left the screening room to look for the projectionist or someone else to yell at. Did I mention that nobody seemed to be in charge?
Finally someone located the projectionist, who unapologetically claimed that he’d only left the room for two minutes.
Liar, liar! Projector on fire!
The obnoxious fellow (presumably a film student) finally got the thing going again, but refused to rewind. No matter, though, because almost immediately he lost the sound again, and again, and again.
At this point, an audience riot seemed inevitable. Okay, maybe not a riot — we’re liberals, after all. Still, we’re talking two or three hundred seriously miffed people.
Since I wasn’t exactly missing anything, I stepped out of the room for a moment to make a phone call. And on my return I heard someone yell that the screening was over and everyone had to leave.
Another attendee told me that during my brief absence the projectionist had claimed that an irate audience member had assaulted him. Let’s just say that Mr. “I Was Only Gone Two Minutes” isn’t exactly a credible witness.
And so we all straggled out, angry, frustrated, and disappointed. And based on what little I saw of War, Inc. probably sadder about missing Rachel Maddow than about missing the actual movie.
Which reminds me, I wonder if anyone told Rachel and screen writers Mark Leyner and Jeremy Pikser to not bother showing up for the Q & A.
Like I said, nobody seemed to be in charge. [tags]War, Inc., New York Film Screening, Rachel Maddow, John Cusack, Angry Liberal Mob, Mark Leyner, Jeremy Pikser, Joan Cusack, Marisa Tomei, Hilary Duff, Dan Aykroyd, Ben Kingsley[/tags]
Premature Concession Syndrome — A Remedial Limerick
Tuesday, November 30th, 2010I’ve finally figured out what’s wrong with President Obama: He suffers from PCS (Premature Concession Syndrome.) The latest example is his proposed federal employee wage freeze. But as Rachel Maddow said last night in her Charlie Brown commentary: “This White House consistently gives up its concessions at the start, before getting anything in return.”
Here’s hoping this open limerick to President Obama helps:
Premature Concession Syndrome — A Remedial Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Dear Obama, it’s Law 101
That in deal making don’t jump the gun:
Never give stuff away
With the hope that one day
You might get something back — this ain’t done.
Your opponent will simply want more.
He will threaten to walk out the door
Unless you accede
To his limitless greed.
Learn this rule or you never will score.
You claim that you earned a JD.
I’ve got one of my own, so you see
Why I don’t understand
How you fail to demand
Quid pro quo from the damn GOP.
Tags: Barack Obama, Bipartisanship, Charlie Brown, Concessions, Negotiation, Republicans Humor, Wage Freeze
Posted in Barack Obama, GOP Humor, Political Commentary, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Rachel Maddow, Republicans Humor, Washington, White House | 6 Comments »