Archive for the ‘Publicity Hounds’ Category
Tuesday, February 5th, 2013
You don’t have to be a “recovering lawyer” like me to know that such a lawsuit would be frivolous:
During a guest appearance on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno last month, Maher quipped that Trump must be “the spawn of his mother having sex with an orangutan” (Exhibit A: his orange hair). In a riff off of Trump’s own offer to give $5 million to the charity of Barack Obama’s choice if the President released his college paperwork, Maher said he would do the same for Trump if the real estate mogul supplied proof that he is not descended from an ape.
Trump, who apparently was able to prove he wasn’t fathered by an orangutan, has announced on Fox & Friends that he’s suing for the $5 million.
Trumped Up Lawsuit (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A man who I’d rather not mention
Is relentlessly seeking attention:
With his Birther schtick stale,
He is desp’rate to nail
Lots of cov’rage through lawsuit dissension.
Tags: Ape Humor, Bill Maher, Donald Trump, Fox News, Jay Leno, Law Satire, Lawsuits, Legal Humor, Litigation Humor, Media Humor, Orangutan Humor, Publicity, Tonight Show
Posted in Birther Humor, Donald Trump, Fox News Humor, Legal Limericks, Media Satire, Political Limericks, Publicity Hounds | 3 Comments »
Wednesday, October 24th, 2012
I try so hard to ignore publicity whores, like Donald Trump and Ann Coulter. And yet, their obnoxious antics make me look … and limerick.
Oh, why I can’t disregard stuff like this Coulter tweet:
…Coulter sent a Twitter message during the presidential debates Monday saying [she] approved of “(Mitt) Romney’s decision to be kind and gentle to the retard,” referring to Obama.
And while I’m at it, I’d love to tune out Donald Trump’s nonsensical “bombshell:”
Donald Trump said on Wednesday that if President Obama releases his college records and his passport application, the mega-millionaire developer will give a $5 million check to charities of Obama’s choosing.
Limerick Ode To Publicity Whores
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Trump and Coulter, two bores I abhor,
And I promise myself to ignore.
But alas, my resistance
Is down. Their persistence
In boorishness strikes at my core.
Tags: Ann Coulter, Barack Obama, Campaign Humor, Debate Humor, Donald Trump, Election Satire, Mitt Romney, Publicity, Retard
Posted in Ann Coulter, Barack Obama, Birther Humor, Campaign Humor, Debate Humor, Donald Trump, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Mitt Romney Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Publicity Hounds, Republicans Humor | 3 Comments »
Tuesday, October 16th, 2012
The aptly-initialed Paul Ryan pulled quite the PR stunt last week. Did you catch the video of Ryan’s uninvited Ohio soup kitchen visit, and watch him “scrub” an already clean pot?
The head of a northeast Ohio charity says that the Romney campaign last week “ramrodded their way” into the group’s Youngstown soup kitchen so that GOP vice presidential candidate Paul Ryan could get his picture taken washing dishes in the dining hall.
“We’re a faith-based organization; we are apolitical because the majority of our funding is from private donations,” Antal said in a phone interview Monday afternoon. “It’s strictly in our bylaws not to do it. They showed up there, and they did not have permission. They got one of the volunteers to open up the doors.”
He added: “The photo-op they did wasn’t even accurate. He did nothing. He just came in here to get his picture taken at the dining hall.”
Ryan’s Soup Kitchen Visit Doesn’t Wash (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Paul Ryan expects us to cheer:
He’s a soup kitchen fake volunteer!
Watch him scrub a clean pot
In his sham, cooked up spot,
As he schemes to make OUR lives austere.
Tags: Campaign Humor, Charity Satire, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Ohio, Paul Ryan, Photo Ops, PR Stunts, Romney Campaign, Soup Kitchen
Posted in Campaign Humor, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Mitt Romney Humor, Paul Ryan, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Publicity Hounds, Republicans Humor | 2 Comments »
Wednesday, March 30th, 2011
Limerick Ode To Donald Birther Trump
By Madeleine Begun Kane
I once met a man, Donald Trump,
In my lawyering days — what a lump!
This was long, long ago —
Way before his big show.
He’s no brighter while out on the stump.
Author’s Note: Yes, I really did encounter Donald Trump decades ago, early in my legal career. And no, I don’t really believe Trump will run for U.S. president. But he’s certainly on the stump … for publicity. And if you want to read about Trump’s increasingly malevolent dive into Birther-politics here’s the latest from Political Wire.
Tags: Birthers, Campaign Satire, Donald Trump, Election Humor, Politics Satire, Presidential Election, Publicity
Posted in Campaign Humor, Donald Trump, Election Satire, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Publicity Hounds, Republicans Humor | 8 Comments »
Friday, March 25th, 2011
I have very mixed feelings about Obama’s handling of Libya and U.S. involvement in military operations against Muammar Gaddafi’s Libya. But unlike Newt Gingrich, I don’t routinely contradict myself on the topic, while pretending to think about running for president.
That Newt’s A Beaut
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Newt Gingrich is caught in a bind
Cuz he can’t resist changing his mind.
Unable to choose
From his Libyan views,
He’s had lots of them — all ill-defined.
There’s a method behind Newt’s mad song:
It’s condemning Obama as wrong.
If Obama should do
What Newt counsels, on cue
Mister Newt to that view says “So long.”
Tags: Barack Obama, Foreign Policy, Libya, Military, Muammar Gaddafi, Newt Gingrich, Presidential Campaign Humor, Republican Hypocrisy, War
Posted in Barack Obama, Foreign Policy, Hypocrisy Humor, Newt Gingrich Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Publicity Hounds, War & Antiwar Poems, White House | 4 Comments »
Thursday, March 10th, 2011
Have you ever answered a “what’s your worst fault” question from a prospective employer by mentioning a positive trait?
Newt Gingrich is apparently familiar with that technique. What else can explain the excuses he gave for having been unfaithful to two sick wives? It seems his infidelity was “partially driven by how passionately [he] felt about this country” and the fact that he “worked far too hard.”
So, you ready to hire him for the next White House opening? What about dog catcher?
Newt’s Fishy Excuses
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Mr. Newt has an oddball excuse
For something that’s close to abuse:
Abandoning wives
Who were ill just derives
From his working too hard? How obtuse!
(More Newt Gingrich humor here.)
Tags: Election Humor, Excuses Humor, Infidelity, Newt Gingrich, Presidential Campaign Humor, Presidential Election, White House
Posted in Campaign Humor, Election Satire, Excuses Satire, Family Values Humor, GOP Humor, Hypocrisy Humor, Newt Gingrich Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Publicity Hounds, Republicans Humor, White House, Wingnuts | 3 Comments »
Thursday, March 3rd, 2011
Oh goody — Newt Gingrich is exploring the possibility of maybe, conceivably running for president. Either that, or it’s yet another of his book publicity stunts:
Run, Newt, Run! (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Dear Newt, I don’t care if you run—
Changed my mind — a Newt run would be fun.
Your divorces and scams
And your ethical jams—
I can’t wait to see just how they’re spun.
(More Newt Gingrich humor here.)
Tags: Campaign Satire, Election Humor, Election Limerick, Newt Gingrich, Presidential Campaign Humor
Posted in Campaign Humor, Election Satire, Family Values Humor, GOP Humor, Newt Gingrich Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Publicity Hounds, Republicans Humor, White House | 2 Comments »
Tuesday, February 8th, 2011
I, for one, am enjoying the Bill Kristol / Glenn Beck feud:
Last week, Fox News’ Glenn Beck launched a week-long effort to explain developments in Egypt as only he can. The deranged media personality cooked up truly bizarre conspiracy theories — even by his standards…
Over the weekend, The Weekly Standard’s William Kristol, a Fox News contributor, had seen enough. “[H]ysteria is not a sign of health,” Kristol wrote in a new column. “When Glenn Beck rants about the caliphate taking over the Middle East from Morocco to the Philippines, and lists (invents?) the connections between caliphate-promoters and the American left, he brings to mind no one so much as Robert Welch and the John Birch Society. He’s marginalizing himself, just as his predecessors did back in the early 1960s.”
Now let’s face it — Glenn Beck’s behavior has to be pretty crazy for a neoconservative like Kristol to write that sort of critique. And that brings me to my latest limerick:
It’s Kristol Clear That Beck Is Nuts
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Bill Kristol said Beck’s gone too far,
Which means Glenn’s scaled a very high bar.
Cuz when Bill says enough
To a wingnut, that’s rough.
Yes, Glenn’s sanity’s way under par.
Tags: Conservatives Satire, Fox News Satire, Glenn Beck, Media Humor, Neoconservatives, William Kristol, Wingnuts
Posted in Bill Kristol, Fox News Humor, Glenn Beck Satire, Media Satire, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Publicity Hounds, Wingnuts | 6 Comments »
Wednesday, January 19th, 2011
Senator Joe Lieberman of Connecticut has announced that he won’t be running for a 5th term. And that means I won’t have Joe Lieberman to kick around much longer.
That brings me to my latest Joe Lieberman limerick and haiku:
Finally, Joementum In the Right Direction
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Dear Joe, glad to hear that you’re leaving.
This Democrat sure won’t be grieving.
I know you’ve no shame,
So you won’t accept blame
For aiding the right in their thieving.
****************
I’ll never tire
Of the phrase “Joe Lieberman
Is retiring.”
Tags: Connecticut, Joe Lieberman
Posted in Election Satire, Joe Lieberman, Political Haiku & Senryu, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Publicity Hounds, Senate Satire | 7 Comments »
Sunday, December 19th, 2010
If John McCain hadn’t done quite so much damage to our nation, I could almost feel sorry for him. After all, it’s hard not to pity a man who’s turned into a pathetic shell of a human being.
McCain’s Don’t Ask Don’t Tell repeal temper tantrum is only the latest example of the sad, ugly person that McCain’s become:
A Tragic Limerick Ode To John McCain
By Madeleine Begun Kane
John McCain seems embittered and mean,
Acting worse than a badly raised teen.
His convictions? No more!
Just conniptions galore.
He’s lost heart, and he’s left with just spleen.
Tags: DADT, John McCain, Military, Republicans Humor, U.S. Senate
Posted in Don't Ask Don't Tell Humor, Gay Rights, John McCain, Legislation Humor, Military Humor, National Security Humor, Political Commentary, Political Limericks, Publicity Hounds, Republicans Humor, Senate Satire | 7 Comments »
Wednesday, December 8th, 2010
Here’s a first: I actually agree with the Tea Party Nation. They think Sarah Palin should replace Michael Steele as RNC head, and so do I. Unfortunately, Sarah Palin’s nixed this idea, claiming that the main job is fund-raising and that others are more adept at raising money.
That’s odd because she sure is good at bilking the public raising money for herself.
And now, my latest limerick:
Run, Sarah, Run
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The Tea Party Nation’s new mailin’
Says for RNC head it wants Palin.
Sarah sure sounds ideal
(Even better than Steele)
If the Dems want a shot at prevailin’.
(I have lots more Sarah Palin humor here.)
Tags: Fund Raising, Michael Steele, RNC, Sarah Palin, Tea Party Nation
Posted in GOP Humor, Michael Steele, Political Limericks, Publicity Hounds, Republicans Humor, RNC Humor, Sarah Palin, Tea Parties | 1 Comment »
Wednesday, November 24th, 2010
Whenever I think Sarah Palin can’t get more stupid, she proves me wrong. This time she actually said:
But obviously, we’ve got to stand with our North Korean allies. We’re bound to by treaty –.
(Her co-host on Glenn Beck’s radio show corrected her.)
She has earned herself yet another limerick:
Palin Unveils Our Newest Ally — North Korea
By Madeleine Begun Kane
North Korea’s an ally, says Palin.
Her brain cells have clearly been bailin’.
Though her knowledge is weak,
She hastens to speak
With her fact-free assurance prevailin’.
(I have lots more Sarah Palin humor here.)
Tags: Allies, Glenn Beck, North Korea, Sarah Palin
Posted in North Korea, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Publicity Hounds, Sarah Palin | 3 Comments »
Thursday, November 18th, 2010
Once again, Sarah Palin shows she has no sense of shame or irony. In her new book America By Heart, the woman has the audacity to criticize American Idol singers as “talent-deprived” contestants who suffer from “the cult of self-esteem.” Now mind you, this is the very same woman whose talentless daughter Bristol has been making a spectacle of herself on Dancing With The Stars.
And that brings me to my latest limerick:
There’s a cult of no-talent, rants Palin.
How ironic’s her Idol show railin’!
With a daughter whose dancing
Is talentless prancing,
What’s next? Bristol’s Idol show wailin’?
(I have lots more Sarah Palin humor here.)
Tags: American Idol, Bristol Palin, Dancing With the Stars, Entertainment Satire, Irony, Reality TV, Sarah Palin, Television
Posted in Books, Entertainment Humor, Irony, Publicity Hounds, Sarah Palin, Television (TV) Satire | Comments Off on Sarah Palin Edict: Reality show contestants without talent must not compete … unless their last name is Palin.
Wednesday, October 6th, 2010
I’m a liberal New York Democrat, and I’ll say one thing for Carl Paladino — the guy has chutzpah. After his bizarre, near-violent attack on the New York Post’s Fred Dicker last week, he had the audacity to describe gubernatorial opponent Andrew Cuomo as “out of control.”
Apparently this is how an in-control candidate behaves:
1. Accuses his opponent (Andrew Cuomo) of cheating on wife.
2. Accuses Rupert Murdoch’s New York Post of bias because it didn’t ask Cuomo about wife-cheating.
3. Menaces and comes dangerously close to physically harming the old, frail-looking Fred Dicker because Dicker had the audacity to ask if he had any evidence that Cuomo cheated on his wife.
4. Promises to produce wife-cheating evidence at the appropriate time.
5. Denies that he promised to produce wife-cheating evidence.
6. After a video of his bullying, abusive, and near-violent attack on Dicker draws a negative response and a loose cannon perception, even among Republicans, tells the Wall Street Journal he wants to focus on the issues.
Limerick Ode To Carl Paladino
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Paladino is always irate,
Spreading venom and anger and hate.
He claims to be able,
But seems quite unstable.
If he wins, we are screwed — no debate.
Tags: Andrew Cuomo, Campaign Satire, Carl Paladino, Election Humor, Fred Dicker, Media Humor, New York Post, Rupert Murdoch, Wall Street Journal
Posted in Campaign Humor, Carl Paladino, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Media Satire, New York Politics, Political Commentary, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Publicity Hounds, Republicans Humor, Tea Parties, Wingnuts | 2 Comments »
Thursday, August 26th, 2010
I have a dream that one day crazed liars like Glenn Beck will no longer pollute our television and radio waves and the Internet.
I have a dream that one day the American people will stop being suckered by deranged media personalities like Glenn Beck.
I have a dream that one day Glenn Beck will headline a rally like his “restore honor” to America rally scheduled on the anniversary of Martin Luther King’s “I Have A Dream Speech” … and nobody will show up.
My Dream For Glenn Beck … And America (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Oh, I have a dream for Glenn Beck:
That he’ll lose his unending blank check
To spread mad, evil lies
That are greeted as wise,
When they’re really insidious dreck.
Tags: Deranged Media Personalities, Glenn Beck, Martin Luther King, Media Humor, Political Rally
Posted in Fox News Humor, Glenn Beck Satire, Media Satire, Political Limericks, Political Speeches, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Publicity Hounds, Speeches Satire, Tea Parties, Washington, Wingnuts | 7 Comments »
Thursday, August 19th, 2010
Poor Newt Gingrich! Periodically, he starts feeling neglected. So he begins making noise about running for president, in order to drum up media attention.
This usually turns out to be more about peddling books than making it into the Oval Office. But this time Pat Buchanan thinks Newt is serious. Unfortunately for Newt, Buchanan also thinks Newt’s gone off the deep end with his so-called “Ground Zero Mosque” remarks:
This week, disgraced former House Speaker Newt Gingrich (R), hoping to make the case against the proposed Park51 community center, compared Muslim Americans to Nazis. On MSNBC yesterday, Pat Buchanan — yes Pat Buchanan — said Gingrich went too far.
Now being too wingnutty for Pat Buchanan is no mean feat:
It’s “absurd,” said Buchanan. “There is no valid comparison there.”
Buchanan also called Gingrich a “political opportunist” who’s trying to be “more controversial than Sarah Palin,” who would be his potential primary challenger in the 2012 presidential election.
That brings me to my latest limerick:
The ambitious Republican Newt
Once was Speaker, but then got the boot.
He so longs to be Prez
That he willingly says
Stuff Buchanan thinks mad. What a hoot!
Related Posts: Newt’s Bilingual Newspeak, Hark! The Disgraced Former Speaker Speaks, and Refudiating Sarah
Tags: Campaign Satire, Election Humor, Media Humor, Newt Gingrich, Pat Buchanan, Presidential Election, Sarah Palin, Talking Heads
Posted in Campaign Humor, Election Satire, Newt Gingrich Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Publicity Hounds, Republicans Humor, Sarah Palin, White House, Wingnuts | 9 Comments »
Monday, July 19th, 2010
I usually ignore Sarah Palin’s language-mangling. But her “refudiate” the “Ground Zero Mosque” Twitter “tweet” is too priceless not to comment on:
Refudiating Sarah (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Dear Sarah, it’s time to rebootiate
And to malapropism “refudiate.”
Cuz your incorrect usage
Is language abusage.
Either learn to speak English, or mutiate.
Update: This is too funny: Sarah Palin excuses her malapropisms and accidental word coinages by comparing herself to William Shakespeare.
Update 2: Good news! Shakespeare Refudiates Sarah Palin.
Tags: Ground Zero, Language Satire, Malapropisms, nine-eleven, Sarah Palin, William Shakespeare, Word Coinage
Posted in Language Humor, New York Politics, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Publicity Hounds, Religious Satire, Sarah Palin, Twitter | 7 Comments »
Tuesday, May 25th, 2010
Is speculation that Sarah Palin’s speaking career’s starting to crash and burn just wishful thinking, or something more? One thing’s for sure — her Las Vegas keynote speech didn’t impress commercial realtors.
Panning Palin
By Madeleine Begun Kane
I never “got” Palin’s appeal.
I’m confused. Please do tell. What’s the deal?
Ill-informed and quite crass,
With a voice that breaks glass —
Why on earth would folks pay for her spiel?
Tags: Realtors, Sarah Palin, Speeches
Posted in Business Humor, Political Limericks, Publicity Hounds, Sarah Palin, Speeches Satire | 11 Comments »
Wednesday, May 5th, 2010
My husband Mark and I live in New York City and frequently dine and see plays in the Times Square area. In fact, had the two of us not been so exhausted from our Las Vegas vacation, that’s where we probably would have been Saturday night. Perhaps that’s why I’m especially offended by John McCain’s apparent desire to undermine the prosecution of alleged terrorists.
What am I talking about? McCain said it would be a “serious mistake” if car bombing suspect Faisal Shahzad, a naturalized American citizen, was Mirandized.
I’m sorry, but the only way Mirandizing Shahzad would be a mistake is if your goal is to taint the evidence, get it thrown out of court, and lose the damn case.
And that brings me to my latest two-verse limerick:
John McCain — Ignoramus, Liar, Or Terrorist Sympathizer?
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Shahzad was Mirandized. Oh my!
Cue McCain and his pandering lie.
To warn him was wrong—
That’s McCain’s specious song.
He malpractices law on the fly.
For Miranda’s a citizen’s right.
Fail to warn him? You’re in for a fight.
Cuz evidence gotten
That way is deemed rotten.
Acquittal is what you invite.
Tags: Car Bombing, Constitution Verse, Criminal Justice, Criminal Law, Faisal Shahzad, John McCain, Legal Verse, Miranda Rights, Terrorism, Terrorist Trials, Times Square
Posted in Constitution Humor, FBI Humor, John McCain, Law Satire, National Security Humor, Political Commentary, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Public Safety, Publicity Hounds, Terrorism | 7 Comments »
Monday, April 5th, 2010
Dear Senator McCain: Pretending to be a maverick is bad enough. But pretending that you never pretended to be a maverick? That’s just silly!
Yes, it’s hard to believe, but McCain’s response to J.D. Hayworth’s primary challenge from the right is to say, “I never considered myself a maverick.” Of course, that would be a bit more convincing had McCain not, among other things, released a 2008 presidential campaign ad calling himself the “original maverick.”
That brings me to my latest two-verse limerick:
Ode To John “Pants On Fire” McCain
By Madeleine Begun Kane
There once was a man named McCain,
The Republicans’ “maverick” bane.
He wore the term proudly
And touted it loudly.
But now it’s a primary pain.
So he’s claiming he never did use it,
Though we know that he’d often abuse it.
But he’s feeling the sting
Of the nutty right-wing,
So with lies he’s attempting to lose it.
Tags: Campaign Satire, Election Humor, J.D. Hayworth, John McCain, Maverick Limerick, Primaries Humor, Republican Hypocrisy
Posted in Campaign Humor, Election Satire, Hypocrisy Humor, John McCain, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Publicity Hounds, Republicans Humor, Senate Satire | 5 Comments »
A Tragic Limerick Ode To John McCain
Sunday, December 19th, 2010If John McCain hadn’t done quite so much damage to our nation, I could almost feel sorry for him. After all, it’s hard not to pity a man who’s turned into a pathetic shell of a human being.
McCain’s Don’t Ask Don’t Tell repeal temper tantrum is only the latest example of the sad, ugly person that McCain’s become:
A Tragic Limerick Ode To John McCain
By Madeleine Begun Kane
John McCain seems embittered and mean,
Acting worse than a badly raised teen.
His convictions? No more!
Just conniptions galore.
He’s lost heart, and he’s left with just spleen.
Tags: DADT, John McCain, Military, Republicans Humor, U.S. Senate
Posted in Don't Ask Don't Tell Humor, Gay Rights, John McCain, Legislation Humor, Military Humor, National Security Humor, Political Commentary, Political Limericks, Publicity Hounds, Republicans Humor, Senate Satire | 7 Comments »