My dear Trump, it’s a shame you’re so boring;
Last night’s speech was the inverse of soaring!
Though your acts are unbound,
That dull, monotone sound
Sent a shit-load of viewers a-snoring.
Archive for the ‘Political Speeches’ Category
An Open Limerick To Donald Trump
Wednesday, March 5th, 2025Dearest Dems (Limerick)
Tuesday, March 4th, 2025Dearest Dems who attend Donald’s speech,
I had better not see your arms reach
Out to shake that man’s hand.
Such an act should be banned…
And don’t clap for that lawbreaking leech!
More Trump Lies (Limerick)
Wednesday, July 31st, 2024ABC News Headline: “Donald Trump says Kamala Harris, who’s married to a Jewish man, ‘doesn’t like Jewish people'”
Don-OLD falsely asserts that our VEEP
“Doesn’t like Jewish people.” That creep
Knows full well Doug (her spouse)
Is a Jew. Trump’s a louse
And a felon. The man’s full of… BLEEP!
Open Limerick To Cognitively-Challenged Trump
Saturday, January 20th, 2024My latest limerick requires a bit of background info, for those who missed Trump’s latest cognitive quagmire: In New Hampshire this past week, Trump converted his Pelosi lie about January 6 security into a Nikki Haley lie.
And no, I am NOT making this up: According to Trump, Haley was in charge of security during the January 6 Capitol attack, and Haley turned down Trump’s (non-existent) offer of 10,000 National Guard soldiers. (Apparently, the former South Carolina governor and U.N. ambassador became Speaker of the House when nobody was looking.)
Here’s my Open Limerick To Cognitively-Challenged Trump:
Pelosi’s a female, it’s true.
So is Haley, and both oppose YOU.
Nonetheless, it’s unwise
To (while spinning your lies)
Confuse those two gals, as you spew.
State Of The Union Madness (Limerick)
Tuesday, March 1st, 2022I’m bracing myself for the post-SOTU madness:
The “State of the Union’s” tonight,
And I hope Biden’s poised for a fight.
Cuz no matter his words,
He’ll be pill’ried by turds;
Spiteful GOP herds love to smite.
Trump’s Killer Instinct (Limerick)
Tuesday, September 15th, 2020Headline: “Trump ignores science at dangerous indoor rally”
Donald’s base should start writing their wills,
Cuz he feeds on large audience thrills;
Crammed together indoors,
Scanty masks, chair-filled floors.
Donald Trump doesn’t care whom he kills.
Our “Woe Is Me” President (Limerick)
Wednesday, May 17th, 2017The Donald pretends to be gritty,
But instead he is filled with self-pity.
“I’m the worst-treated pol
In his’try,” he’ll bawl.
Trump’s dignity (bitty) ain’t pretty.
About Last Night (Limerick)
Wednesday, March 1st, 2017The reviews for Trump’s speech, in the main,
Were swell, cuz he seemed to be sane:
He read his speech well;
Did not rant, rave, or yell.
What a low bar we’ve set for his reign.
Bracing For Trump’s Speech To Congress (Limerick)
Monday, February 27th, 2017Although Trump has circulated a bullet point outline of tomorrow night’s speech, here’s what I’m expecting:
Please get ready for Donald to speak
Before Congress on Tuesday this week,
Where he’ll beef about press
And he’ll shriek “We’re a mess,
Only I can address!” (That’s my “leak.”)
Trump On Exhibit (Limerick)
Saturday, February 11th, 2017Trump exhibits his madness with ease,
Via speeches and tweet-tantrum sprees.
Donald’s saneness is wee
And he’s vain as can be.
It’s as plain as his gold Trump marquees.
Trump “Bronx Cheered” In Manhattan (Limerick)
Friday, October 21st, 2016At a charity, heckling is rare,
But Trump got derision to spare
At the Alfred Smith Dinner.
Trump wasn’t the winner?
“Rigged” booing, no doubt. How unfair!
Limerick Ode To Melania’s Convention Speech
Tuesday, July 19th, 2016Melania’s speech was revealing;
In her push to make Donald appealing,
She stole lines from Michelle
About values. Oh well,
This confirms that both Trumps value stealing.
Limerick Ode to Donald “The Martyr” Trump
Saturday, March 12th, 2016Was the speech that Trump canceled a ruse
Designed to manipulate news?
To martyrize Trump
On his campaign swing stump?
“Trump’s been blocked from expressing his views!!!”
Unlike most Trump events little vetting
Was done to ensure Trump was netting
A crowd of supporters
Plus penned-in reporters.
Seems on violence The Donald was betting.
Open Limerick To Jeb Bush
Wednesday, February 3rd, 2016When you’re giving a speech, my dear chap,
And you’re forced to ask people, “please clap,”
That is sadder than sad.
Your campaign’s beyond bad.
Put a cap on your race. It’s a wrap!
Frankly, They’re Lying (Limerick)
Tuesday, January 19th, 2016You probably know this old chestnut of a joke: “How can you tell when a politician is lying? When his (or her) lips move.”
Here’s my own slightly less cynical lie detection technique:
How do you know that a politician is lying? The word ‘frankly’ comes out of his/her mouth.
Donald Trump and Carly Fiorina seem especially fond of the word ‘frankly,’ but they’re certainly not alone in having that ‘tell.’
Pols frequently telegraph lies.
For example, I’m quick to surmise
That a whopper’s about
To be told by some lout
When he uses the ‘frankly’ disguise.
Limerick Ode To Politifact’s Liar Of The Year
Monday, December 21st, 2015Congratulations to Donald Trump on winning the Politifact 2015 Lie of the Year Award!
The “Lie of the Year” prize is Trump’s.
Though many pols fib, Donald jumps
To the top of the list;
His stump speech’s gist
Is take dumps on the truth to hook chumps.
Leadership? (Limerick)
Wednesday, February 11th, 2015Leadership? (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The words of most pols seem so hollow.
They say little I’m able to swallow.
All those lines that they feed us
While trying to lead us
Persuade me it’s best not to follow.
Marco’s Dangerous, Mark My Words (Limerick)
Thursday, February 14th, 2013I’ve been mystified by the general reaction to Sen. Marco Rubio’s delivery of the GOP response to the State of the Union address.
Yes, his desperate lunge for water looked awkward. Nonetheless, his performance just doesn’t deserve the mockery it’s been getting. In fact, Marco Rubio is the one Republican who worries me.
I find Rubio alarmingly likeable. And I was struck by his ability to lie so convincingly and charmingly.
But I was starting to doubt my own instincts when I came across these comments from Van Jones in response to questioning from CNN anchor Carol Costello:
“Rubio is dangerous for Democrats,” Jones said. “I’m so glad we’re talking about him and we’re joking about him because right when he reached for that water bottle, he was reaching an emotional part of the speech which he stepped on.”
Jones said the while Florida’s junior senator “has an extreme record,” Rubio’s political skill shone through in the last 90 seconds of his speech, which Jones said was “extremely powerful.”
“(Rubio) is to the heart what Paul Ryan is to the head,” Jones said. “This man can connect emotionally.”
Marco’s Dangerous, Mark My Words (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Although Rubio’s drinking looked gawky,
I’m begging you Dems, don’t get cocky:
He lies better than Ryan
And charm’s underlyin’
His falsehoods. So things could get rocky.
Trump’s Sore-Winner Speech (Limerick)
Wednesday, January 24th, 2024A sane presidential candidate would have been pleased after his double-digit New Hampshire primary win over Nikki Haley. But not Donald! He was so furious over Haley’s concession speech vow to remain in the race, that he seethed instead of celebrating:
“Mr. Trump delivered a crude, bitter victory speech attacking Ms. Haley; her chief surrogate, Gov. Chris Sununu of New Hampshire; and the state’s primary process…”
Tags: Campaign Humor, Campaign Satire, Donald Trump, Election Humor, Election Satire, Haley, New Hampshire, Nikki Haley, Republican Primary, Republicans Humor, Trump, Trump Speech
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