Styrofoam is back.
“Green the Capitol” is gone.
Job, jobs, jobs, jobs, jobs?
*****
Rotund Rush Limbaugh
says Michelle Obama’s fat—
that’s hard to swallow.
*****
Freedom from taxes
demanded by those who crave
what taxes give them.
*****
The mental midget
mentioned an affinity
with Rush — no surprise.
*****
Showing up to vote—
a yearly exercise in
unrequited hope.
*****
(More political haiku here. And more Rush Limbaugh humor here.)
Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas is under scrutiny these days for conflicts of interest related to the Koch Brothers, the Federalist Society, and the Citizens United case.
But today’s limerick and haiku will focus, instead, on the fact that Thomas hasn’t asked a single appellate hearing question in five years.
For the record, I did quite a bit of litigation work during my lawyering years. And believe me, his failure to speak throughout five years of hearings is peculiar and reflects very poorly on his judicial skills.
That brings me to my Clarence Thomas limerick:
Limerick Ode To Clarence Thomas
By Madeleine Begun Kane
I’m mindful that Thomas can talk,
But at queries for hearings he’ll balk.
He’s been silent for years–
Five in all. I’m all ears.
If he asks one sharp question, I’ll gawk.
And here’s my Clarence Thomas haiku:
The Sup Court’s Thomas–
Too ill-informed for queries?
Or just too lazy?
UPDATE: It’s been nearly two years since I wrote this limerick and haiku. So in fairness, I must announce that Justice Thomas has finally broken his silence.
Now mind you, he didn’t ask a sharp question … or, indeed, any question: He merely made a mildly amusing four-word (or so) remark about lawyers who went to Yale.
Still … it’s a start.
Senator Joe Lieberman of Connecticut has announced that he won’t be running for a 5th term. And that means I won’t have Joe Lieberman to kick around much longer.
That brings me to my latest Joe Lieberman limerick and haiku:
Finally, Joementum In the Right Direction
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Dear Joe, glad to hear that you’re leaving.
This Democrat sure won’t be grieving.
I know you’ve no shame,
So you won’t accept blame
For aiding the right in their thieving.
I’ll never tire
Of the phrase “Joe Lieberman
Is retiring.”
President Obama has been getting most of the credit for this week’s lame-duck Congress legislative achievements:
* Repealing Don’t Ask Don’t Tell
* Ratification of the New START nuclear weapons treaty with Russia
* The 9/11 First Responders Health and Compensation Act
* Food-Safety Bill
But I think Majority Leader Harry Reid deserves much of the credit. Why? Because he finally figured out that the way to pass stuff is to treat Republicans like children and refuse to let them go home.
My haiku explains everything:
How to run Senate:
Tell GOP “No TV
Till your homework’s done.”
The Dems cave and give Joe Lieberman a meaningless punishment. What a surprise!
Democrats hand Joe
A tiny slap on the wrist.
Thumbs down to the Dems.
Cool news! Nearly 4000 people submitted haiku to the McPalin Haiku Hysteria contest held by People For The American Way and The Nation Magazine. And I’m one of the twelve finalists!!! So I’d really appreciate your voting for my haiku here. The three winning haiku will be published in The Nation.
We were allowed to submit up to three haiku, and here are the three I submitted. (The first one is the haiku that made the finals.)
Palin knows nothing
About the Constitution.
Puppets don’t have to.
An anti-choice veep
Who opposes free rape kits?
Thanks, John, but no thanks.
Would Palin court picks
Destroy the Constitution?
You betcha! Wink, wink.
Here’s my latest haiku (senryu) about the Wall Street meltdown and the $700 billion (or much more) Bush-Cheney-Paulson-Bernanke rip-off-the-taxpayers bailout plan:
Financial vultures
First gobble up our assets,
Then demand dessert.
The primary’s done.
But the election’s far from
Secondary.[tags]Election Haiku, Primary Senryu[/tags]
John McCain has been having a tough time raising campaign money lately. So I thought I’d help out with a McCain campaign slogan haiku — gratis. Aren’t I generous?
Remember Bush’s
Humble foreign policy?
Vote McCain for more. [tags]Senator McCain, Presidential Campaign Verse[/tags]
Wow! Even Don “McCain Worshipper” Imus can’t stand it any more. I just heard Imus tell Craig Crawford:
If he says “my friends” one more time, I’m gonna kill myself.
I think it’s time for a haiku:
A candidate
Who can’t stop saying “my friends,”
Doesn’t have any.
U.S. middle class
Nickel-and-dimed by George Bush.
Change way overdue.
(Inspired by this change prompt. And speaking of prompts, there’s still time to participate in my limerick and haiku prompt. Its theme is walking.)
UPDATE: I just remembered another haiku I wrote about change several months ago:
“People want change,”
Claim presidential candidates.
I’d prefer twenties.[tags]Middle Class Humor, Bush Presidency, Presidential Election, George Bush Haiku, Bush Economy[/tags]
“Hillary cried,”
The media lied.
Who’s crying now?[tags]Hillary Clinton Verse, Hillary Poetry, Media Humor, Campaign Satire, Election Humor[/tags]
AP calls Mitt’s lies
A “candor gap,” bypassing
Candor lacuna. [tags]Mitt Romney Satire, Candor Gap, Media Dishonesty[/tags]
I shovel the snow
As Bush blares through my head phones,
Shov’ling something else.
No video today, but you can still watch this one.
(You can find more of my news haiku here.)[tags]Bush Haiku, Weather, Political Humor[/tags]
While Bush and Cheney are busily threatening World War 3 over of Iran’s potential future nuclear threat, their great nuke-possessing Pakistan pal President Gen. Pervez Musharraf has declared “emergency rule.” Are you feeling safer yet?
A pair of haiku to commemorate the occasion.
Musharraf declares
Martial law in Pakistan.
Bush lets freedom ring.
Emergency rule.
Constitution suspension.
Dick Cheney’s wet dream.
Update: Are Bush/Cheney speechwriters working for Musharraf?
Just after midnight, General Musharraf appeared on state-run television. In a 45-minute speech, he said he had declared the emergency to limit terrorist attacks and “preserve the democratic transition that I initiated eight years back.”
…He accused the country’s Supreme Court of releasing 61 men who he said were under investigation for terrorist activities. “Judicial activism,” he said, had demoralized the security forces, hurt the fight against terrorism and slowed the spread of democracy. “Obstacles are being created in the way of democratic process,” he said, “I think for vested, personal interests, against the interest of the country.”
Update 2: For more satire on the same topic, visit Don Davis’s Musharraf Suspends Constitution: Bush Gets ‘Pervez Envy.’[tags]Pakistan, President Gen. Pervez Musharraf, Emergency Rule, Nukes, BlogFriday, Martial Law, Nuclear Threat[/tags]
So Karen Hughes has resigned from her job to “promote America’s values and confront ideological support for terrorism around the world.” Hmmm. Could she have been involuntarily slated for an assignment in Iraq? Probably not, but it’s an amusing fantasy. In any event, it’s haiku time:
Heckofa Job, Karen!
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Karen Hughes resigned
From her boost-our-image job.
Mission accomplished?
(You can find more of my Karen Hughes humor here and here.)[tags]Karen Hughes Humor, U.S. Image Problems, American Values, U.S. Dept of State[/tags]
For some reason, blithe Dana Perino’s blasé response to a question about Bush’s $2 trillion Iraq war reminded me of two things:
1. Bush’s false claims to have inherited a recession from Bill Clinton; and
2. Bush’s vow to “solve problems, not pass them on to future presidents and future generations.”
And that brings me to my latest haiku:
The White House isn’t
Concerned about the war’s cost.
Isn’t that special?
Mad Kane (Madeleine Begun Kane) is a writer, musician, and "recovering lawyer." She won the Robert Benchley Society Award For Humor and enjoys writing limericks, song parodies, and current events haiku.
You can email her at madkane@madkane.com, visit her non-political humor blog, or stop by her home page.
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Political Haiku Quintet (Updated to Add Egypt Haiku)
Saturday, February 12th, 2011Today I’m posting four political haiku which, I fear, are all more cynical than witty. (I’ve added a 5th about Egypt’s revolution which is uplifting, rather than cynical.)
Technically each of these is a senryu, though most people would label them haiku. What the heck’s a senryu, and how does it differ from haiku? I explain it all here and, believe it or not, use a three-verse limerick to illustrate the distinctions.
Politicians strive
to make a good impression
without doing good.
*****
The economy’s
either looking up or down.
Depends on your stance.
*****
Commenters bicker,
thrusting political barbs,
changing no one’s mind.
*****
How did we get here?
“Pragmatic” subjugation
of our Dem ideals.
*****
A revolution
In Egypt transforms, uplifts,
Giving hope to all.
*****
Tags: Blog Commenters, Economy Haiku, Egypt Revolution Haiku, Political Haiku & Senryu, Political Senryu, Politicians
Posted in Blogosphere, Economy Humor, Money And Finance Humor, News Haiku & Senryu, Political Commentary, Political Haiku & Senryu, Political Verse, Politics Satire | 5 Comments »