Archive for the ‘Political Commentary’ Category

Steele-Buyers’ Remorse

Wednesday, March 4th, 2009

It seems Republican National Committee members are having second, third, and fourth thoughts about having named Michael Steele to be Chairman of the RNC. And it’s not just his humiliating apology to Rush Limbaugh, his mismanagement of the RNC, and a pair of ethics issues:

In just a month on the job, Steele has insisted that government jobs aren’t real jobs. He’s raised the specter of undermining moderate Republican incumbents. He’s given multiple interviews in which he’s shown humiliating confusion about the basics of public policy. His efforts to make the Republicans “off the hook” and “beyond cutting edge” are already the subject of widespread ridicule. The man, by all appearances, doesn’t have the foggiest idea what he’s doing.

So what’s my take on all this? I think Michael Steele is perfect for the job:

Steele-Buyers’ Remorse (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Are Republicans starting to feel
That they erred when the named Michael Steele
As the RNC head?
(Maybe Limbaugh instead?)
Funny … Dems think that Steele is ideal.

Quote of the Day

Saturday, February 28th, 2009

“The great irony of where we are today is that we had a Bush-Obama big-spending program that was bipartisan in its nature. We got big spending under Bush, now we’ve got big spending under Obama.” (Newt Gingrich as quoted by the New York Times)

Funny, but I could have sworn that Dick Cheney was Bush’s Veep.

Rep. Hensarling Channels Rumsfeld

Thursday, February 26th, 2009

Rep. Jeb Hensarling (R-TX) spouted these enlightening remarks on C-SPAN today:

I don’t think we can figure out how to outlaw recessions any more than we can outlaw tornadoes or outlaw hurricanes. … Economic growth has never gone in one straight line up. It goes in a zigzag line. It’s a part of freedom. Sometimes freedom can be messy. Sometimes freedom has reversals. But it certainly beats the alternative.

Just three questions for Rep. Hensarling:

1. Are non-democracies recession-proof?
2. Are you trying to make Governor Jindal look insightful?
3. If we fight to end the recession, do the terrorists win?

Oh, and please tell me who exactly is trying to outlaw recessions. Because that phantom person may just be the only living being who out-idiots Rep. Hensarling.

Ode To Bobby “Kenneth the Page” Jindal

Wednesday, February 25th, 2009

I hate to pile on to the Bobby-Jindal-channeled-Kenneth-the-Page assault. Okay I lied … I just love to pile on.

Jindal’s GOP response last night was a gift to Democrats in terms of both style and content. (I’ll leave it to others like Buzzflash to analyze the substance of Bobby Jindal’s speech.)

Getting back to style, the similarity between Jack McBrayer’s “Kenneth the Page” character on NBC’s “30 Rock” and Jindal’s sing-song, sixth-grader-talking-to-third-graders response to Obama’s speech before Congress last night is downright weird.

And that’s why my latest limerick poses the question that everybody’s surely asking right now: Are “Kenneth the Page” and Bobby Jindal related?

Ode To Bobby “Kenneth the Page” Jindal
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Dear Bobby, is Kenneth your twin?
From your voices, I’d swear you were kin.
You’re the GOP’s best?
Then the GOP’s quest
For the White House is done — you can’t win.

Political Twittersphere Words of Wisdom

Monday, February 23rd, 2009

Mystified about Twitter? Wondering what the tweet fuss is all about? Desperate to find out what words of wisdom you’ve missed by ignoring the Political Twittersphere?

Well, your worries are over. Because I’m launching (as a public service) the Political Twittersphere Words of Wisdom. Here’s my first selection of recent, genuine, and attributed tweet quotes:

“trying to explain to junior white house staffers that mickey rourke was once young handsome and supercool.” @jaketapper

“tweeting about twitter no longer meta, now oafish. starting…..NOW.” @jaketapper

“My intvu with Gov. Huntsman. He says GOP needs ‘bold solutions’ instead of ‘gratuitous political griping.'” @NorahODonnell

“I’m at Chef Geoff’s eating the most delicious meal ever of bucatini and veal meatballs. Can u say garlic?” @NorahODonnell

“So @algore makes cut w/ 12 tweets since Nov? And I didn’t even know @chuckgrassley existed. But we’re talking so @thepolitico wins.” @williambeutler

“Bombay. It should be called Bombay, dammit. #oscars” @williambeutler

“you would think that our largest affiliate could actually put us on the air before the 1st segment ends. grrrrr.” @Radioblogger (Senior producer of the Hugh Hewitt Show)

“All GOP governors will take most of the money. Otherwise, they’re taxing their residents for states that didn’t control spending.” @KarlRove

“query: once all the newspapers are gone, what happens during an internet outage?” @craig_crawford

“Why is Gibbs tie distracting me? Perhaps that’s the point since he’s having to talk about cutting entitlements.” @craig_crawford

“Choreography at White House fiscal event is interesting: Obama calls on McCain, Cantor, etc Maybe he’s serious abt this bipartisanship stuff.” @TerryMoran

“Feeling kind of defeated in my shabby attempts to pretend to cover the WH. Do I need to sip from the Potomac more? Or less?” @anamariecox

“Cosi across the street from the WH is like an annex. Two other journos here, Secret Service guy just got a chicken salad to go.” @anamariecox

Well, that’s it for the first edition of Political Twittersphere Words of Wisdom. Please let me know if I should make this a regular feature. Oh … and if you’d like to follow me on Twitter I’m @MadKane.

Obama Hasn’t Fixed Everything Yet? What’s Taking Him So Long?

Friday, February 13th, 2009

I can’t decide whether Bret Stephens is nuts or just a really bad satirist.

I’m referring to his Wall Street Journal column entitled Obama’s Charm Isn’t Working Wonders Abroad, in which he recites a litany of foreign policy problems and wonders why Obama hasn’t solved them all yet. After all, it’s been twenty-one whole days!

Both Steve Benen and Steve M. assume Stephens suffers from unrealistic expectations.

But I’m wondering whether Stephens is trying to pass sarcasm off as satire.

And that brings me to my latest limerick:

Obama Hasn’t Fixed Everything Yet? What’s Taking Him So Long?
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Poor Bret is beginning to fret
Cuz our enemies still are a threat.
And Barack (he critiques)
Has been prez three whole weeks.
If this isn’t a spoof, get a net!

The Bully Pulpit Isn’t Enough, When You’re Dealing With Bullies

Monday, February 9th, 2009

I never thought Barack Obama’s post-partisan unity shtick would work. So I’m not surprised that no matter how much Obama reaches out to Republicans, they abuse the privilege.

So, is Obama finally wising up? The good news is he’s beginning to make more aggressive use of the presidential bully pulpit to promote the fiscal stimulus bill.

On the other hand, Obama seems to be in triangulation mode, apparently buying into GOP “centrists'” proposed tax and spending cuts.

Somebody please clue the President into this fundamental precept:

     Give Republicans an inch and they’ll take you — hard.

Mad Thought Of The Day

Sunday, February 8th, 2009

Are Republicans insane? Their bombastic rants and stimulus bill obstructionism could easily lead to that conclusion.

But I think there’s a more basic explanation. Republicans are simply being consistent with their long-held GOP credo:

     If at first you don’t succeed, make sure your successors don’t either.

Hey Republicans, Go Filibuster Yourselves! (Updated)

Saturday, February 7th, 2009

It looks like the Senate may end up passing a stimulus bill that’s smaller (spending-wise), larger (tax-cut-wise), and far less likely to work than the bill passed in the House.

I don’t know about you, but I’m sick and tired of Senate Democrats letting Republicans blackmail them with the mere threat of a filibuster. Here’s a thought: Instead of caving in to GOP demands, how about telling them to go filibuster themselves?

Find out if they’re bluffing. Make them work for all those concessions. Let the American public see GOP venality and obstructionism in action!

And that brings me to my latest verse:

Hey Republicans, Go Filibuster Yourselves!
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Dear Republicans, stop all your bluster—
Your obstructionist taunt: “Filibuster!”
Just go through with your threat.
Dems, please make these guys sweat,
And we’ll see what support they can muster.

I am betting they don’t have the numbers,
That they’re bluffing. (Dems let them — the bumblers.)
But majority rules
When they don’t act like fools.
Dems, we need a good bill. Don’t be fumblers!

(Updated first paragraph for clarity.)

Only Peons Have To Pay Taxes (Updated)

Monday, February 2nd, 2009

First Tim Geithner, and now Tom Daschle. Anyone else getting tired of rich, powerful people failing to pay taxes, saying “Oops! Sorry! My bad!” and getting away with it?

Geithner’s already gotten his big promotion to Treasury Secretary in Obama’s Cabinet. And I’m betting that after pretending to give Tom Daschle a hard time, the Senate will soon give its former Majority Leader his Health and Human Services Secy gig too.

Just one question: May I join the Tax Defaulters Club, if I promise to pay up in the event I’m ever tapped for high office?

I didn’t think so.

Only Peons Have To Pay Taxes (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

I’m so sick of political sleaze
Who think they can do as they please.
Pay their taxes? Not them!
Be they right-wing or Dem,
With big friends their promotion’s a breeze.

Update: Daschle has withdrawn. Good! How about Howard Dean?

Banks To Taxpayers: Drop Dead!

Tuesday, December 23rd, 2008

Rachel Maddow says “We should all become banks.” Why? Because all it takes for banks to get lots of taxpayer TARP money is a simple two page application. And the best part is that banks don’t have to account for the cash. (Bush’s Treasury Department requires no transparency or accountability.)

That calls for a limerick, don’t you think?

Banks To Taxpayers: Drop Dead!
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Where’s your money? You’ve no right to know.
Banks account for your dough? Ho! Ho! Ho!
We are rich and white collar —
Won’t help if you holler.
Go pester a unionized co!

Why Caroline Kennedy?

Wednesday, December 17th, 2008

I don’t have anything against Caroline Kennedy. By all accounts she’s bright, hard-working, a good education-related fundraiser, and knowledgeable about Constitutional law. And if she ran to represent New York in the U.S. Senate, I (a New York City resident) might very well vote for her.

Nonetheless, I share Ron Kuby’s antipathy towards legacy appointments. And like Kuby, I wonder why so few liberals and progressives are speaking out against New York Governor David Paterson’s potential Caroline Kennedy appointment.

I believe that a U.S. Senate appointment should go to someone who has more demonstrably earned it and whose positions on a wide array of topics important to New Yorkers are better known. And that brings me to my latest limerick:

There once was a Kennedy daughter
Whose dad was a victim of slaughter.
She sought an appointment —
A Senate anointment,
And few but Ron Kuby, Esq. fought her.

Irony Has At Least Seven More Lives

Sunday, November 30th, 2008

Once again, the media is debating the purported death of irony. Nine-eleven killed it the last time, and this year’s culprit is Barack Obama. Lucky for humorists (and their readers), irony apparently has a cat-like nine lives:

Irony Has At Least Seven More Lives
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Obama’s election’s to blame
For irony’s death, many claim.
Is there nothing to mock?
To satirically knock?
Spoof the press and the pundits — I’m game.

And there’s always the cowardly Dems,
And obstreperous GOP “gems,”
Greedy banks, AIG,
CEOs, bad TV.
Start lampooning — no haws and no hems.

Dear Bush, Doesn’t Your Brush Need Clearing?

Saturday, November 22nd, 2008

Like The New York Times’ Gail Collins and so many others, I think Bush and Cheney need to take early retirement. Otherwise, by the time Obama is president, there won’t be anything left to preside over:

Dear Bush, Doesn’t Your Brush Need Clearing? (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Dear Dubya, you’re only success
Is at failure. Leave early. Egress!
We have found your replacement,
So end the debasement.
Let Obama start fixing your mess.

What Would The Press Do Without Clinton Rumors?

Thursday, November 20th, 2008

Hillary wants to be Obama’s Secretary of State. Hillary doesn’t know if she wants to be Secretary of State. Bill’s standing in her way. Bill’s fully cooperating. Obama’s made an offer. Obama hasn’t made an offer. The blogs think it’s a terrible idea. The blogs think it’s a great idea.

Just one question: Does anyone else think all this rumor-mongering is a wee bit silly?

What Would The Press Do Without Clinton Rumors? (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

The press is so desp’rate for drama
In a White House that’s run by Obama,
That they eagerly tell
Bill and Hill tales pell-mell.
No Clintons? They’d run home to mama.

Ode To “Traitor” Joe Lieberman (Updated)

Friday, November 7th, 2008

Now that the Democratic Senate majority has grown so much, Harry Reid plans to strip Joe Lieberman of his Homeland Security Committee chairmanship, even if Joe continues to caucus with the Democrats.  Sounds great to me! (Update: Lieberman’s chairmanship status will be determined by a secret Democratic Senate caucus vote on November 18th.)

Of course, Lieberman thinks Reid’s being mean and unfair.  Cuz apparently Dems are supposed to just look the other way after Lieberman disses Obama and campaigns enthusiastically for McCain, Palin and down-ticket Republicans.

Joe’s even intimating that he may caucus with the Republicans.  Well I, for one,  say good riddance, and I hope Harry Reid (and his fellow Dems) stick to their guns.   Lieberman can’t be trusted to back Dems when it comes to filibusters, so who needs him?

And now it’s time for a limerick:

Ode To “Traitor” Joe Lieberman
By Madeleine Begun Kane

“Traitor” Joe is distressed — I don’t care.
He deserves to be stripped of his chair.
Cuz when push comes to shove
He shows Lieberman-love.
Mitch can take him … and buyer beware!

Ode To Sarah “Geography-Challenged” Palin

Tuesday, October 21st, 2008

Sarah Palin has a very strange relationship with geography.  Who else do you know who:

1) Keeps an eye on Russia from her Alaska bedroom window;
2) Thinks Afghanistan is “our neighboring country;”
3) Describes New Hampshire as being part of our “great Northwest;” and
4) Tells crowds how much she enjoys visiting “pro-America areas” of America. 

Come to think of it, that last one does make some sense to me: Palin’s marriage to a (presumably reformed) secessionist, must surely make meeting pro-America Americans refreshing, indeed.

However,  I do remain concerned about Palin’s Afghanistan and New Hampshire problem:

Ode To Sarah “Geography-Challenged” Palin
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Gov. Palin’s geography gap
Is appalling. Please give her a map.
This isn’t a test,
But New Hampshire? Northwest?
On our “neighbor” Afghanistan’s lap?

Sarah In Wonderland

Sunday, October 12th, 2008

A  bipartisan legislative panel in Alaska finds Sarah Palin guilty of abusing her executive power.  So is Palin contrite?  Hahahahaha!

Actually, I’m find it tough to get my head around Palin’s response.  (Unlike so many Republicans, I’ve never been any  good at holding two contradictory positions at the same time.)

Republican vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin this weekend disregarded an ethics investigator’s finding that she had abused her executive power as Alaska’s governor and instead embraced a second finding in the report to say that she had been cleared of wrongfully firing her state public safety commissioner. …

In a Saturday conference call with Alaska journalists, Palin said she was “pleased to be cleared of any legal wrongdoing … any hint of any kind of unethical activity there.” She denounced the investigation, calling it “a partisan circus.” …

Okay, I’m not positive, but here’s what seems to be the McCain campaign’s official response to the Troopergate ethics violation report: 

1) It  exonerates her; and

2) If it hadn’t been an Obama-controlled hit job, it would have exonerated her.

My head hurts.

Sarah In Wonderland
By Madeleine Begun Kane

So what is Gov. Palin’s excuse
For the finding of power abuse?
She pretends it ain’t there,
While she claims it ain’t fair,
With the facts playing games, fast and loose.

Dear “Everyday Working Class” Sarah

Wednesday, October 1st, 2008

Sarah Palin, who likes to refer to herself as “Joe Six Pack“, is trying to dupe us into believing she’s “an everyday, working-class American.” Palin even claims that her “Joe Six Pack” status is why “the Washington elite” don’t think she should be running for Veep.  (Apparently it has nothing to do with her making Dan Quayle look like a genius and George Bush look coherent.)

Just wondering: How many “everyday, working-class Americans” do you know who own “a single-engine plane, two boats, two personal watercraft and a half-million-dollar, custom-built home on a lake…”

Sarah deserves another limerick, don’t you think?

Dear “Everyday Working Class” Sarah
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Your custom-built lake house sounds nice,
And your plane,  boats, and tanning device.
But kindly don’t claim
You’re a “working class” dame.
We don’t buy it, so sorry, no dice.

Did The Dog Eat John McCain’s Debate Notes?

Wednesday, September 24th, 2008

John McCain is so scared to debate Obama, that he’s reneged on his Friday debate commitment all in the name of patriotism.   Yup — the guy who almost never shows up for Senate votes,  is apparently planning to swoop into Washington, fix our fiscal crisis and, only then, resume campaigning and debate.  After all,  John McCain is such a “country first” kinda guy.

The good news is that Obama isn’t falling for the canceled debate bait.

Did The Dog Eat John McCain’s Debate Notes? (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

This Friday’s debate won’t proceed,
Says McCain, while pretending to lead.
We’ve a crisis at hand.
Country first — his demand.
Be a patriot, John, and concede.