The Republicans’ game is a mess.
Think they know what they’re doing? (God bless!)
At best, they are wreckers.
They’re NOT playing checkers.
And they’re certainly NOT playing chess!
Archive for the ‘Money & Finance Humor’ Category
Republican Gamesmanship (Limerick)
Friday, December 20th, 2024Musk Throws His Weight Around (Limerick)
Thursday, December 19th, 2024Upon Elon’s command, Johnson’s bill
Was withdrawn. Seems it gives Musk a thrill
To rob Trump of his job.
And so (yessiree Bob!)
Trump and Johnson must swallow this pill.
Trump’s Stinky Product (Limerick)
Monday, December 9th, 2024I just read that Trump’s selling cologne!
Brand new grifting from Trump? Hold the phone!
I am stunned, simply shocked
And amazed, startled, rocked
That the thief’s stock of rip-offs has grown!
Trump’s Guitar Grift (Limerick)
Friday, November 22nd, 2024No, I am NOT making this up:
Hey guitarists, you need a new axe?
You like Trump? You’ll be thrilled to the max,
Cuz the grifter’s now selling
Guitars. There’s no telling
What’s next … though my bet’s on the sax.
Trump’s “Pious” Supporters (Limerick)
Friday, March 29th, 2024There’s no law fraudster Trump’s loath to flout!
And yet people who claim they’re devout,
Keep supporting the grifter,
That sleazy shape-shifter.
Surely Trump ain’t what “God” is about!
Limerick Ode To Trump’s Federal Indictment
Saturday, June 10th, 2023Trump’s fed’ral indictment’s a beaut,
Packed with facts very hard to dispute.
He may fin’ly be nailed
And at long last be jailed!
(In the meantime, he’ll raise tons of loot.)
Open Limerick To Joe Biden
Tuesday, May 23rd, 2023The 14th Amendment is clear,
And the time to take action is here.
Quash the “ceiling” charade:
Our debts must be paid!
Kick extortionist pols in the rear!
Limerick Ode To Donald “The Genius” Trump
Sunday, October 2nd, 2016The Donald’s a genius? Who knew
That huge losses are great to accrue?
Though I’d be morose
From a deficit close
To one billion, for Trump it’s a coup.
Limerick Ode To “Poor” Eric Cantor
Tuesday, September 2nd, 2014How’s this for a non-shocker: Ousted House Majority Leader Eric Cantor (R-Va.) is headed to Wall Street. Cantor is “joining investment bank Moelis & Co. as vice chairman and managing director” and “stands to earn $3.4 million in cash and stocks as a signing bonus, with $1.2 million guaranteed in just his first year.”
Limerick Ode To “Poor” Eric Cantor
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Though he lost to a Tea Party ranter,
Please feel free to stop weeping for Cantor,
Cuz he’s striking it rich.
Ain’t his life just a bitch?
Wall Street moolah is quite the enchanter.
Dear Donees (Limerick)
Monday, May 5th, 2014Many of you already know that big-time Republican donor John Jordan just dissed Republican pols big time. Here’s what he said:
I go out of my way to avoid meeting candidates and politicians.” Why? “All too often, these people are so disappointing that it’s depressing. Most of these people you meet, they’re unemployable.… It’s just easier not to know.
But I’ll bet you’re unaware of John Jordan’s secret limerick writing talent:
Dear Republicans, here’s tons of cash
From my famously sizeable stash.
I believe you’re all fools,
But can count on you tools
To keep screwing the riff-raff and trash.
(Note from Mad Kane for the Humor-Impaired: I’m John Jordan’s extremely unofficial ghostwriter. )
Limerick Ode To Antonin Scalia
Monday, April 21st, 2014I can’t help wondering whether Supreme Court Justice Scalia says weird things like this just for attention:
Speaking at the University of Tennessee College of Law on Tuesday, the longest-serving justice currently on the bench was asked by a student about the constitutionality of the income tax, the Knoxville News Sentinel reports.
Scalia responded that the government has the right to implement the tax, “but if it reaches a certain point, perhaps you should revolt.”
Limerick Ode To Antonin Scalia
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Suggesting that students revolt
Over taxes ain’t very adult.
It seems doltish Scalia
Has mouth diarrhea.
I surmise that his brain’s short a bolt.
Limerick Ode To Phyllis Schlafly
Wednesday, April 16th, 2014Limerick Ode To Phyllis Schlafly
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Schlafly’s latest is nuts — no surprise!
But the GOP finds her so wise:
It seems gals will be left
Without husbands — bereft…
If we’re paid just as much as the guys.
This isn’t a joke: Phyllis Schlafly really wrote this in the Christian Post:
Suppose the pay gap between men and women were magically eliminated. If that happened, simple arithmetic suggests that half of women would be unable to find what they regard as a suitable mate.
Open Limerick To The Media
Monday, February 11th, 2013As Obama’s State of the Union address draws nearer, the press (thanks to GOP prodding) has become obsessed with one question: Why the focus on a liberal agenda, instead of jobs and the economy?
Open Limerick To The Media
By Madeleine Begun Kane
“Where’s your focus on jobs?” asks the press,
As Obama contends with a mess
Of issues galore,
Cuz his job at its core
Is to many dilemmas address.
So dear media, try this new task:
Press Republicans: Tough questions ask!
Like “Just what have THEY done
About jobs. Name just one
Thing they do besides block, bitch, and bask.”
Medicare Mishigas (Limerick)
Monday, December 10th, 2012In the “fiscal cliff” negotiations, Republicans are irrationally demanding a hike in the Medicare eligibility age — what Nancy Pelosi refers to as “a trophy that the Republicans want.”
As Ezra Klein explains, this would not save money or help solve the health care cost problem, and it would hurt lots of people. Unfortunately, Republicans seem to favor symbolism over substance, and raising the Medicare eligibility age would be “a signal that they won something big on entitlements.”
Medicare Mishigas (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
GOPers want change that ain’t sage:
Raise the Medicare-el’gible age.
This does harm — won’t address
The health care cost mess:
It’s the fruit of entitlements-rage.
Limerick Memo To Republican Parents
Friday, May 25th, 2012Memo To Republican Parents of College-Age Children: When federal student loan rates double this July, you’ll only have yourselves to blame:
Senate Republicans filibustered a bill to extend the current interest rate on federal student loans, blocking an extension from moving forward by a vote of 51-43 (with 60 votes needed to advance the bill). They blocked a similar effort earlier this month. Without an extension, interest rates will double in July from 3.4 percent to 6.8 percent.
Limerick Memo To Republican Parents
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Sen. Republicans live in a bubble,
Untroubled that loan rates will double:
They repeatedly block
A Dem bill that would lock
In low rates, treating students like rubble.
Mitt’s “Telling” Message (Limerick)
Wednesday, March 28th, 2012Mitt Romney has big plans to “eliminate government programs and shutter cabinet agencies.” Which ones are on his dump-list? He refuses to say, responding, with a warped sort of honesty, that providing specifics could cost him the election.
Or as Jonathan Chait amusingly puts it: “One of the things I have found in previous elections is that announcing my plans makes people want to vote against me!”
Mitt’s “Telling” Message (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
There are agencies Mitt doesn’t like
And programs he’s planning to spike.
But he won’t tell us which
He’s intending to ditch.
You want pre-voting facts? Take a hike.
Poor Mitt (Limerick)
Monday, March 5th, 2012I’m starting to think Ann Romney doesn’t want to be First Lady. Why else would someone with a family net worth of $250 million make stupidly transparent remarks like this?
“We can be poor in spirit, and I don’t even consider myself wealthy, which is an interesting thing, it can be here today and gone tomorrow.”
Poor Mitt (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Dear Mitt, you should tell your wife, Ann,
To stop trying to help out her man.
For your cause, it ain’t healthy
To claim you ain’t wealthy:
Ann’s not feeling rich doesn’t scan.
Peppery Haiku
Friday, November 25th, 2011Patrons pepper-spray
their fellow store customers.
Emulating cops?
(Yes this really happened at Wal-Mart.)
Limerick Ode To The Not-So-Super Committee
Monday, November 21st, 2011The blame game is going strong with the customary false equivalencies.
Limerick Ode To The Not-So-Super Committee
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The Super Committee’s derailed,
And now we are being regaled
With tales blaming Dems
Sold as “media gems.”
It’s “balanced” reporting that’s failed.
Doomed Limerick
Thursday, October 17th, 2013The federal government’s reopened and the debt ceiling crisis was averted at the last minute. So the question now is, will this happen again? Alas, many experts believe we’re doomed to have yet another shutdown.
Doomed Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
This crisis is over for now,
But for those who are wiping their brow,
Please keep this in mind:
The very same bind
May in merely three months take a bow.
Tags: Debt Ceiling, Economy Satire, Extortion, Federal Budget, Federal Debt, Federal Default, Furloughed Employees, Government Default, Government Shutdown, House Republicans, Legislation Satire, Republicans Humor, U.S. Senate, Washington DC
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