Headline: “Trump Announces 25% Tariffs on Imported Cars Effective April 2” (NOTE: This includes American brands assembled abroad.)
Do you need a new car? Then don’t wait! Buy it now! Beat that Trump-tariff date. For despite Donald’s scorn, Fine economists warn: Car-price surges will soon be our fate.
My latest political limerick was largely inspired by this CNBC headline: “‘I’m not going to bend at all’: Trump doubles down on tariff plans as stocks sink”
(Not surprisingly, “Trump doubles down on…” is becoming an over-used, albeit exceedingly appropriate, headline phrase.)
Trump is doubling down on his madness, Which increases my anger and sadness. He’s insane and perverse And keeps making things worse. There’s no limit, alas, to his badness.
Axios Headline: “Trump launches meme coin, apparently makes more than $25 billion overnight”
Trump made $25 “yards” overnight With the $TRUMP coin — his new grifting blight. By the way, “yard’s” a billion; No NOT a mere million– Bigly duping the not-very-bright.
The Republicans’ game is a mess. Think they know what they’re doing? (God bless!) At best, they are wreckers. They’re NOT playing checkers. And they’re certainly NOT playing chess!
Upon Elon’s command, Johnson’s bill Was withdrawn. Seems it gives Musk a thrill To rob Trump of his job. And so (yessiree Bob!) Trump and Johnson must swallow this pill.
I just read that Trump’s selling cologne! Brand new grifting from Trump? Hold the phone! I am stunned, simply shocked And amazed, startled, rocked That the thief’s stock of rip-offs has grown!
Hey guitarists, you need a new axe? You like Trump? You’ll be thrilled to the max, Cuz the grifter’s now selling Guitars. There’s no telling What’s next … though my bet’s on the sax.
There’s no law fraudster Trump’s loath to flout! And yet people who claim they’re devout, Keep supporting the grifter, That sleazy shape-shifter. Surely Trump ain’t what “God” is about!
Trump’s fed’ral indictment’s a beaut, Packed with facts very hard to dispute. He may fin’ly be nailed And at long last be jailed! (In the meantime, he’ll raise tons of loot.)
The 14th Amendment is clear, And the time to take action is here. Quash the “ceiling” charade: Our debts must be paid! Kick extortionist pols in the rear!
How’s this for a non-shocker: Ousted House Majority Leader Eric Cantor (R-Va.) is headed to Wall Street. Cantor is “joining investment bank Moelis & Co. as vice chairman and managing director” and “stands to earn $3.4 million in cash and stocks as a signing bonus, with $1.2 million guaranteed in just his first year.”
Limerick Ode To “Poor” Eric Cantor
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Though he lost to a Tea Party ranter,
Please feel free to stop weeping for Cantor,
Cuz he’s striking it rich.
Ain’t his life just a bitch?
Wall Street moolah is quite the enchanter.
I go out of my way to avoid meeting candidates and politicians.” Why? “All too often, these people are so disappointing that it’s depressing. Most of these people you meet, they’re unemployable.… It’s just easier not to know.
But I’ll bet you’re unaware of John Jordan’s secret limerick writing talent:
Dear Republicans, here’s tons of cash
From my famously sizeable stash.
I believe you’re all fools,
But can count on you tools
To keep screwing the riff-raff and trash.
(Note from Mad Kane for the Humor-Impaired: I’m John Jordan’s extremely unofficial ghostwriter. )
I can’t help wondering whether Supreme Court Justice Scalia says weird things like this just for attention:
Speaking at the University of Tennessee College of Law on Tuesday, the longest-serving justice currently on the bench was asked by a student about the constitutionality of the income tax, the Knoxville News Sentinel reports.
Scalia responded that the government has the right to implement the tax, “but if it reaches a certain point, perhaps you should revolt.”
Limerick Ode To Antonin Scalia
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Suggesting that students revolt
Over taxes ain’t very adult.
It seems doltish Scalia
Has mouth diarrhea.
I surmise that his brain’s short a bolt.
Limerick Ode To Phyllis Schlafly
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Schlafly’s latest is nuts — no surprise!
But the GOP finds her so wise:
It seems gals will be left
Without husbands — bereft…
If we’re paid just as much as the guys.
This isn’t a joke: Phyllis Schlafly really wrote this in the Christian Post:
Suppose the pay gap between men and women were magically eliminated. If that happened, simple arithmetic suggests that half of women would be unable to find what they regard as a suitable mate.
The federal government’s reopened and the debt ceiling crisis was averted at the last minute. So the question now is, will this happen again? Alas, many experts believe we’re doomed to have yet another shutdown.
Doomed Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
This crisis is over for now,
But for those who are wiping their brow,
Please keep this in mind:
The very same bind
May in merely three months take a bow.
Open Limerick To The Media
By Madeleine Begun Kane
“Where’s your focus on jobs?” asks the press,
As Obama contends with a mess
Of issues galore,
Cuz his job at its core
Is to many dilemmas address.
So dear media, try this new task:
Press Republicans: Tough questions ask!
Like “Just what have THEY done
About jobs. Name just one
Thing they do besides block, bitch, and bask.”
In the “fiscal cliff” negotiations, Republicans are irrationally demanding a hike in the Medicare eligibility age — what Nancy Pelosi refers to as “a trophy that the Republicans want.”
As Ezra Klein explains, this would not save money or help solve the health care cost problem, and it would hurt lots of people. Unfortunately, Republicans seem to favor symbolism over substance, and raising the Medicare eligibility age would be “a signal that they won something big on entitlements.”
Medicare Mishigas (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
GOPers want change that ain’t sage:
Raise the Medicare-el’gible age.
This does harm — won’t address
The health care cost mess:
It’s the fruit of entitlements-rage.
Memo To Republican Parents of College-Age Children: When federal student loan rates double this July, you’ll only have yourselves to blame:
Senate Republicans filibustered a bill to extend the current interest rate on federal student loans, blocking an extension from moving forward by a vote of 51-43 (with 60 votes needed to advance the bill). They blocked a similar effort earlier this month. Without an extension, interest rates will double in July from 3.4 percent to 6.8 percent.
Limerick Memo To Republican Parents
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Sen. Republicans live in a bubble,
Untroubled that loan rates will double:
They repeatedly block
A Dem bill that would lock
In low rates, treating students like rubble.
Or as Jonathan Chait amusingly puts it: “One of the things I have found in previous elections is that announcing my plans makes people want to vote against me!”
Mitt’s “Telling” Message (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
There are agencies Mitt doesn’t like
And programs he’s planning to spike.
But he won’t tell us which
He’s intending to ditch.
You want pre-voting facts? Take a hike.
Trump’s Latest Scam (Limerick)
Saturday, January 18th, 2025Axios Headline: “Trump launches meme coin, apparently makes more than $25 billion overnight”
Tags: $TRUMP, Donald Trump, Meme Coins, Trump, Trump Coins, Trump Cons, Trump Grifts, Trump Meme Coin, Trump Scams
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