Archive for the ‘Mitt Romney Humor’ Category
Wednesday, March 21st, 2012
When you represent a candidate who’s famed for his pandering opinion changes, it might be best to eliminate “Etch-a-Sketch” from your vocabulary:
Instead of rejoicing in what looks to be the beginning of the end of the Republican presidential race, however, Romney and his team are on the defensive over an Etch-a-Sketch. Yes, an Etch-a-Sketch.
Erik Fehrnstrom, one of Romney’s top aides, made the unfortunate comparison between his candidate and the child’s toy during a television interview on CNN on Wednesday morning.
“Well, I think you hit a reset button for the fall campaign,” said Fehrnstrom. “Everything changes. It’s almost like an Etch-a-Sketch – you can kind of shake it up, and we start all over again.”
Limerick Ode To The “Etch-a-Sketch” Candidate
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Romney’s policy viewpoints are fleeting.
They’re not helping him? Watch his retreating.
First he’s for, then agin,
As his mouthpieces spin.
Mitt needs Etch-a-Sketch-YouTube deleting.
Tags: Campaign Humor, CNN, Election Satire, Erik Fehrnstrom, Etch-A-Sketch, Mitt Romney, Pandering, YouTube
Posted in Campaign Humor, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Mitt Romney Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor | 2 Comments »
Monday, March 12th, 2012
If I must see bare-chested Republican politicians, I definitely prefer Mitt Romney over Newt.
Mitt’s Campaign Heats Up (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Is Romney a hottie? Darn tootin’!
His bare-chested pics have folks rootin’.
Are his people at peace
With this photo release?
I’m betting his team copied Putin.
Tags: Bare-Chested Pols, Campaign Humor, Election Satire, Mitt Romney, Political Photos, Vladimir Putin
Posted in Campaign Humor, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Mitt Romney Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Vladimir Putin | 4 Comments »
Saturday, March 10th, 2012
I can’t imagine that you Southern Republicans are falling for Mitt Romney’s grits-liking pander. But here’s a limerick, just in case any of you think “unofficial Southerner” Romney is being sincere with “y’all.”
A Limerick Letter To Southern Republicans
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Romney’s playing an “out of town game,”
By pretending that he’s just the same
As you Southern state folks.
He likes grits? What a hoax,
With duping “y’all” voters his aim.
Tags: Campaign Humor, Election Satire, Grits, Mitt Romney, Out Of Town Game, Pandering, Southern Food, Southern States
Posted in Campaign Humor, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Hypocrisy Humor, Mitt Romney Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor | 3 Comments »
Thursday, March 8th, 2012
Rick Santorum’s campaign is stunningly inept in its failure to qualify for sundry ballots.
Yes, I know that Santorum’s campaign is woefully under-funded. And that he never expected to get this far. But at some point, I can’t help wondering whether Santorum is using the faith-based method of ballot qualification.
Of course all this begs the question: Why the heck can’t Mitt Romney finish him off?
Limerick Ode To An Endless Republican Primary
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Rick Santorum’s campaign is inept,
Under-funded, abysmally prepped.
Yet the contest is split:
Hairline wins made by Mitt
Where the Gov should have easily swept.
Tags: Ballot Qualification, Campaign Humor, Election Satire, Faith-Based Humor, Mitt Romney, Presidential Campaign, Republican Primary, Rick Santorum
Posted in Campaign Humor, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Mitt Romney Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Rick Santorum | 2 Comments »
Wednesday, March 7th, 2012
What Romney Wants, What He Really, Really Wants (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Mitt Romney would love all this over:
Nomination sewn up, in like clover,
All primed for a fight
To be Prez with the right
To ride Limo One topped with Rover.
Tags: Animal Abuse, Campaign Humor, Election Satire, First Dog, First Limo, Mitt Romney, Presidential State Car, Seamus Romney
Posted in Campaign Humor, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Mitt Romney Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, White House | 7 Comments »
Tuesday, March 6th, 2012
Limerick Ode To Super Tuesday
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Super Tuesday’s arrived at long last.
Will Mitt’s wins be decisively vast?
Will his delegate count
Impressively mount,
Thereby ending the press fun too fast?
Tags: Campaign Humor, Election Satire, Media Humor, Mitt Romney, Republican Primary, Super Tuesday
Posted in Campaign Humor, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Media Satire, Mitt Romney Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor | 2 Comments »
Monday, March 5th, 2012
I’m starting to think Ann Romney doesn’t want to be First Lady. Why else would someone with a family net worth of $250 million make stupidly transparent remarks like this?
“We can be poor in spirit, and I don’t even consider myself wealthy, which is an interesting thing, it can be here today and gone tomorrow.”
Poor Mitt (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Dear Mitt, you should tell your wife, Ann,
To stop trying to help out her man.
For your cause, it ain’t healthy
To claim you ain’t wealthy:
Ann’s not feeling rich doesn’t scan.
Tags: Ann Romney, Campaign Humor, Election Satire, First Lady, Mitt Romney, Wealth Humor
Posted in Campaign Humor, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Mitt Romney Humor, Money & Finance Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor | 2 Comments »
Tuesday, February 28th, 2012
Did you know that higher education is snobbish and elitist? And that it causes liberal indoctrination? That’s the message we’ve been getting lately from Republicans like Rick Santorum and Mitt Romney. They each have a trio of college degrees … but hey, who’s counting? In fact, why even bother learning to count?
Yes, indeed, there’s a Republican war on college education:
First came Mitt Romney’s dismissive remarks about President Obama’s “faculty lounge” pals. Now Rick Santorum is calling Obama snobby for urging people to go to college – and defending that view in a series of TV appearances.
Education — Schmeducation (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
“Don’t bother your miniscule head
With college — don’t need higher ed.”
That’s the Rick and Mitt screed,
Though they’re multi-degreed.
Informed-voters — yes, that’s what they dread.
Tags: Campaign Humor, College Humor, Education Humor, Election Satire, Higher Education, Informed Electorate, Informed Voters, Liberal Indoctrination, Mitt Romney, Republican War On College, Rick Santorum
Posted in Campaign Humor, Education Limerick, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Mitt Romney Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Rick Santorum | 3 Comments »
Monday, February 27th, 2012
Limerick Ode To Mitt “Man Of The People” Romney
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Dear Romney, your essence is “rich.”
Your attempts to “relate” are a stitch.
So nobody buys
Your fake empathy tries.
It seems playacting isn’t your niche.
Tags: Campaign Humor, Election Humor, Empathy, Mitt Romney, Romney Satire, Wealth Humor
Posted in Campaign Humor, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Mitt Romney Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor | Comments Off on Limerick Ode To Mitt “Man Of The People” Romney
Monday, February 27th, 2012
Dear Mitt, A Limerick Love Note
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Dear Mitt, I’m enjoying your height.
Not too tall. Not too short. You’re just right.
And I also adore
That your cars number “four.”
Please forgive me for being so trite.
Tags: Campaign Humor, Election Humor, Michigan, Mitt Romney, Romney Satire
Posted in Campaign Humor, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Mitt Romney Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor | 2 Comments »
Friday, February 24th, 2012
Imagine giving a speech in a stadium meant to hold 65,000 people. Now imagine only 1,200 people showing up.
If you want to see what that looks like, check out this photo of Mitt Romney’s speech in Detroit’s Ford Stadium.
Mitt Romney is holding an event at Ford Stadium which has failed to attract enough people to come even close to filling it up (in fact, you could fit Romney’s 1,200 person crowd in the 65,000-seat stadium 54 times over).
Mitt Romney’s Taxing Crowd Numbers (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Just twelve-hundred folks in a place
Meant for sixty-five-thousand. Bare space!
That’s Mitt in Detroit:
Romney’s team ain’t adroit,
And poor Mitt has a very small base.
Tags: Advance Teams, Campaign Humor, Detroit, Election Satire, Ford Stadium, Michigan, Mitt Romney
Posted in Campaign Humor, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Mitt Romney Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor | 5 Comments »
Thursday, February 23rd, 2012
Talking heads are always spouting theories, so why can’t I? This one’s for those who think Ron Paul’s being suspiciously nice to Mitt Romney:
A G(Rand) VEEP Scheme? (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Does Ron Paul have a plan rather grand
In helping Mitt further his brand?
Maybe Mitt promised Paul:
“If you’ll kindly play ball,
Then I’ll hand the V.P. slot to Rand.”
Tags: Campaign Humor, Election Satire, Libertarian Humor, Mitt Romney, Political Bedfellows, Rand Paul, Ron Paul, Veepstakes
Posted in Campaign Humor, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Libertarians Satire, Mitt Romney Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Rand Paul, Republicans Humor, Ron Paul | Comments Off on A G(Rand) VEEP Scheme? (Limerick)
Saturday, February 18th, 2012
In case all those ads haven’t clued you in, Presidents Day is nearly here. To celebrate, I’ve written a pair of clerihews for would-be presidents Mitt Romney and Rick Santorum. What’s a clerihew? A whimsically biographical four-line poem, more fully described here.
Willard Mitt Romney
Has wealth that’s omni.
But he’s stiff as a yoke.
Kindly give that man a toke.
*****
Ricky Santorum
Loves his forum.
Being prez is his quest
In a knit sweater vest.
(My set of eight Eight 4-Liners For The Initial Republican Contenders is here.)
Tags: Campaign Humor, Election Satire, February Holidays, Mitt Romney, Political Clerihews, Presidents Day, Rick Santorum
Posted in Campaign Humor, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Holidays Humor, Mitt Romney Humor, Political Clerihews, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Rick Santorum, White House | Comments Off on Just In Time For Presidents Day — Would-Be Presidential Clerihews
Wednesday, February 8th, 2012
Pity the poor political journalist (or political satirist), who must conjure up constant commentary about a race that’s effectively over.
So it’s no wonder that the media’s in a tizzy over the Rick Santorum Sweep … even though it yielded Rick zero delegates.
Rick Gives Them Something To Talk About (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The press was beginning to mope.
But Santorum’s three wins offer hope
That the race isn’t done,
Mitt may NOT be the one.
But does Rick stand a chance? Answer: Nope!
Tags: Campaign Humor, Colorado, Election Satire, Journalism, Media Humor, Minnesota, Missouri, Mitt Romney, Republican Primary, Rick Santorum
Posted in Campaign Humor, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Media Satire, Mitt Romney Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Rick Santorum | Comments Off on Rick Gives Them Something To Talk About (Limerick)
Monday, February 6th, 2012
This headline is funny, but not surprising: Donald Trump Takes Credit For Mitt Romney’s Big Win In Nevada:
“There was a lot riding on that particular race in Nevada and it was interesting, because the numbers were much, much greater than you thought,” Trump gloated. “And a lot of people are giving me credit for that. And I will accept that credit.”
Here’s the limerick that Romney staffers talked Mitt out of sending:
The Limerick Romney Wanted To Send Trump
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Dear Donald, big thanks for your backing,
But I fear that your modesty’s lacking.
My win in Nevada
Was ME. You did NADA!
I regret I did not send you packing.
Tags: Campaign Humor, Donald Trump, Election Satire, Endorsements Humor, Mitt Romney, Nevada
Posted in Campaign Humor, Donald Trump, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Mitt Romney Humor, Nevada Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor | 3 Comments »
Friday, February 3rd, 2012
I’ve finally figured out how Newt plans to populate the moon: He’ll catapult the poor onto the moon via trampolines.
Yes, I know that sounds crazy. But I can’t think of any other explanation for this nutty Newt quote:
I really believe that we should care about the very poor, unlike Governor Romney. But I believe we should care very differently from Barack Obama….What the poor need is a trampoline so they can spring up, so I am for replacing the safety net with a trampoline.
Limerick Ode To Newt Lunacy
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The safety net’s bad, prattles Newt,
Suggesting we give it the boot.
From his odd bag of tricks,
Newt throws this in the mix:
Trampolines — out-of-poverty route.
Tags: Campaign Humor, Election Satire, Fiscal Humor, Mitt Romney, Moon Colony, Newt Gingrich, Poverty, Safety Net, Space Humor, Trampoline Limerick
Posted in Campaign Humor, Election Satire, Fiscal Policy, GOP Humor, Mitt Romney Humor, Newt Gingrich Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Space Exploration, Tax & Budget Humor | 3 Comments »
Friday, February 3rd, 2012
There’s been lots of talk about this Mitt Romney gaffe: “I’m not concerned about the very poor. We have a safety net there. If it needs repair, I’ll fix it.”
But as Ezra Klein points out, the problem with Mitt Romney isn’t his gaffes, it’s his policies, which would dig a deep hole in that safety net.
Keep The Safety Net Safe From Mitt Romney (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Find some holes in the safety net? “Fix it!”
That’s how hypocrite Romney depicts it.
But we’re onto Mitt’s game
And his policy aim:
What his policies do is deep-six it.
Tags: Campaign Humor, Election Satire, Federal Budget, Mitt Romney, Poverty, Safety Net, Tax Cuts
Posted in Campaign Humor, Election Satire, Fiscal Policy, GOP Humor, Mitt Romney Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Tax & Budget Humor | 2 Comments »
Thursday, February 2nd, 2012
Will Trump endorse Newt? Will The Donald go with Mitt? Will Donald Trump fire himself from The Apprentice so he can run for president as a third-party candidate?
At long last, all that heady speculation has ended.
Trump Endorses Romney – Election Over (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Donald Trump had been sending up flares.
His endorsement speech finally airs:
Despite all that’s been writ,
He is going with Mitt.
I have only one question: Who cares?
Tags: Campaign Humor, Donald Trump, Election Satire, Endorsements Humor, Mitt Romney, Newt Gingrich
Posted in Campaign Humor, Donald Trump, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Mitt Romney Humor, Newt Gingrich Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor | Comments Off on Trump Endorses Romney — Election Over (Limerick)
Monday, January 30th, 2012
I never thought I’d say this, but please listen to Sarah Palin:
Sarah Palin still hasn’t officially endorsed Newt Gingrich, but she’s making it increasingly clear that she’s pulling for the former House speaker to continue to cause headaches for Mitt Romney.
Her latest bumper-sticker-ready pitch to Republican voters: “Vote for Newt, annoy a liberal.”
Listen To Palin and Annoy Me, Please! (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Annoy Lib’rals, vote Newt — that’s the pitch
That Palin is spouting. How rich!
We’d delight in a Newt
V. Barack race, and root
For Mitt Romney to suffer that glitch.
Tags: Barack Obama, Campaign Humor, Election Satire, Liberals, Mitt Romney, Newt Gingrich, Sarah Palin, Voting Limerick
Posted in Barack Obama, Campaign Humor, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Mitt Romney Humor, Newt Gingrich Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Sarah Palin, Voting Satire | 3 Comments »
Monday, January 30th, 2012
Some Republicans are worried they’ll be saddled with a brokered convention. And Newt Gingrich’s statement is upping their anxiety:
With just one full day of campaigning left until the Florida primary and polls indicating that Mitt Romney has substantially widened his lead in the Sunshine State, Newt Gingrich told reporters Sunday he is prepared to fight out the Republican presidential nomination all the way to a brokered convention.
“We have no evidence yet that Romney anywhere is coming close to getting a majority and I think when you take all the non-Romney votes, it’s very likely that at the convention there will be a non-Romney majority and maybe a very substantial one. My job is to convert that into a Gingrich majority,” Gingrich said.
Brokered Convention Blues (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The thought of a brokered convention
Is creating Republican tension:
Will Mitt’s delegate count
Sufficiently mount
If Newt nixes a prez run suspension?
Tags: Brokered Convention, Campaign Humor, Election Satire, Mitt Romney, Newt Gingrich, Presidential Campaign, Republicans Humor
Posted in Campaign Humor, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Mitt Romney Humor, Newt Gingrich Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor | 5 Comments »
