Archive for the ‘Mitt Romney Humor’ Category
Tuesday, July 17th, 2012
According to Bloomberg Businessweek, Mitt Romney may have a wimp problem.
Limerick Ode To Wimpy Mitt Romney
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Is Romney a wimp? So it seems:
“Take it back” is the message Mitt screams.
Say “you’re sorry,” retract;
That’s Mitt Romney’s whole act.
So is that how he’d deal with regimes?
Tags: Bloomberg, Businessweek, Campaign Humor, Election Satire, Mitt Romney, Wimp Factor
Posted in Campaign Humor, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Mitt Romney Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, White House | Comments Off on Limerick Ode To Wimpy Mitt Romney
Tuesday, July 17th, 2012
A VEEP pick this early in the campaign would be very unusual. Yet the media is packed with rumors saying Romney’s VP announcement is imminent. Gee … I wonder just who’s feeding those rumors.
Running-Mate Rumblings (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Here’s a rumor conveyed with a swoon:
Romney ‘s VEEP pick may come very soon.
Mitt is desp’rate for eyes
On NOT-Bain: No surprise
That the news now is VEEP-gossip strewn.
*****
Mitt Romney, on his post-February 1999 affairs:
I did not have corporeal relations with that company, Bain Capital!
Tags: Bain Capital, Campaign Humor, Election Satire, Media Humor, Mitt Romney, News, Running-Mates, Veepstakes, VP Humor
Posted in Campaign Humor, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Media Satire, Mitt Romney Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, White House | Comments Off on Running-Mate Rumblings (Limerick)
Friday, July 13th, 2012
Anyone who’s ever been a corporate lawyer (and I confess that that includes me) knows that corporations take SEC filings very seriously. So if someone (ie., Mitt Romney) is designated as Bain’s “CEO,” “President,” “Chairman of the Board,” and “sole stockholder,” he can’t disclaim responsibility. In other words, either Romney’s lying now, or several Bain documents are deceptive, if not fraudulent.
Limerick Ode To Mitt “How Dare You Call Me CEO!” Romney
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Romney’s goal to be president’s fraught.
In Bain’s titular web he’s been caught:
Says Mitt, “chief exec”
Has no meaning. Then heck,
Being POTUS must also mean naught.
Tags: Bain, Campaign Humor, Corporations Humor, Election Satire, Federal Documents, Mitt Romney, POTUS, SEC Filings
Posted in Campaign Humor, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Mitt Romney Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, White House | 3 Comments »
Tuesday, June 19th, 2012
Was Mitt Romney’s amazement over the Wawa touch screen hoagie-ordering device further proof of his out-of-touchness? Or was it merely a small part of his comments on “federal bureaucracy and innovation in the private sector?”
I have a third interpretation:
Wawa-Gate Reinterpreted (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Dear Romney, that hoagie device
Seemed to stun you, amaze, and entice.
I’ll just bet you were thrilled
By the jobs that are killed
When touch screens put clerk jobs on ice.
Tags: Campaign Humor, Election Satire, Federal Bureaucracy, Hoagies, Innovation, Mitt Romney, Private Sector, Technology, Touch Screen Technology, Wawa, Wawagate
Posted in Campaign Humor, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Mitt Romney Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Technology Humor | 2 Comments »
Tuesday, June 12th, 2012
Mitt Romney has a bad habit of pretending he didn’t say something that he actually said. And claiming not to hold positions that he really holds.
For instance, after getting flack for his stated opinion that we have too many cops, firemen, and teachers, and that cutting such jobs is a good thing, he’s pretending this never happened. According to Mitt, to claim he said what he said and holds views that he really holds is “a very strange accusation.”
Don’t believe Mitt for even a minute. For while the federal government doesn’t directly hire (or fire) cops, firemen, and teachers, Romney’s stated policies would starve the state and municipal budgets, causing cops, firefighters, and teachers to lose their jobs.
Limerick Ode To Mitt “How Dare You Accuse Me Of Saying What I Said” Romney
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Vote Mitt, if you think our supply
Of teachers and cops is too high,
And firemen too.
We’ll be losing a slew
Of them all — that’s what Romney-votes buy.
Tags: Barack Obama, Budget Cuts, Budget Limerick, Campaign Satire, Cops, Election Humor, Firefighters, Firemen, Mitt Romney, Republicans Humor, Teachers, Votes
Posted in Barack Obama, Campaign Humor, Crime, Education Limerick, Election Satire, Fiscal Policy, GOP Humor, Government Services, Mitt Romney Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor | 4 Comments »
Monday, June 4th, 2012
Limerick Ode To Republican Schadenfreude
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Watch Republicans feign being sad
When employment news comes, and it’s bad.
How they try not to grin—
They’re more likely to win!
If you vote GOP, you’ve been had.
Tags: Barack Obama, Campaign Humor, Election Satire, Federal Budget, Fiscal Crisis, GOP Humor, Mitt Romney, Presidential Election, Republican Hypocrisy, Republicans Humor, Schadenfreude
Posted in Barack Obama, Campaign Humor, Economy Humor, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Hypocrisy Humor, Mitt Romney Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, White House | 4 Comments »
Friday, June 1st, 2012
This Donald Trump quote sounds fictitious, but it’s real: “I have a very large Twitter.”
Romney and the Blowhard (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Trump is proud of his “very large Twitter.”
(That’s a quote — not a Mad B Kane titter.)
When The Donald ain’t ragging
The prez, then he’s bragging.
Donald Trump — he’s where Mitt turns for glitter.
Tags: Barack Obama, Birthers, Campaign Humor, Donald Trump, Election Satire, Mitt Romney, Social Media Poetry, Twitter Humor
Posted in Barack Obama, Campaign Humor, Donald Trump, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Mitt Romney Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Social Media Satire, Twitter | 3 Comments »
Thursday, May 31st, 2012
Birtherism is but one of Donald Trump’s bad qualities. And yet the Mitt Romney-Donald Trump alliance is going strong, making some people wonder how Romney looks at himself in the mirror without throwing up.
An Open Limerick To Mitt Romney
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Dear Mitt, some are feeling concerned,
Cuz what little respect you have earned,
Will go right down the drain
Should you really retain
Your Trump clown-act. He needs to be spurned.
Tags: Barack Obama, Birthers, Campaign Humor, Donald Trump, Election Satire, Mitt Romney
Posted in Barack Obama, Campaign Humor, Donald Trump, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Mitt Romney Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor | 4 Comments »
Tuesday, May 22nd, 2012
So let me get this straight: Mitt Romney has disavowed his singular accomplishment as Massachusetts governor (universal health care). And for the most part, he’s resting his claim to the presidency on his Bain-related expertise and accomplishments. He even asserts (without any proof) to have been a big “job creator” there. And yet Romney has the audacity to declare his Bain years off-limits to examination and critique by Obama and other Democrats.
As Ezra Klein points out:
Romney’s national platform … calls for doing less for the victims of the global economy. He wants to repeal the Affordable Care Act, which would guarantee that workers would get health insurance even if they lost their jobs in, say, a private-equity led restructuring. He wants to pay for large tax cuts and more defense spending by cutting funds for Medicaid, for food stamps, for worker retraining, and for housing subsidies. He wants to cut Social Security benefits. He has no detailed plans to improve the continuing education system, or worker retraining programs, such that displaced machinists have a better chance to find a new job.
That’s why the ads in which laid-off steelworkers say Romney just doesn’t care about people like them are so effective. As head of Bain, it was Romney’s job not to care about them. But as a presidential candidate, it’s his job to show that he does care about them. So far, he hasn’t.
Limerick Ode To Mitt “Job Creator” Romney
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Romney brags of his Bain expertise—
Says it’s earned him the White Houses’s keys.
Yet he’s sore, slams the door,
Says how dare we explore
What exactly he did for those fees.
Dear Mitt, you can’t have it both ways.
Your record’s reviewed in this phase:
When you proudly proclaim
You know biz, it’s fair game
To appraise your Bain management ways.
Tags: Bain Capital, Barack Obama, Business Expertise, Business Verse, Campaign Humor, Economy Satire, Election Satire, Fiscal Humor, Job Creator, Jobs, Mitt Romney, White House
Posted in Barack Obama, Business Humor, Campaign Humor, Economy Humor, Election Satire, Fiscal Policy, GOP Humor, Mitt Romney Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Tax & Budget Humor, White House | 3 Comments »
Friday, May 18th, 2012
Here’s a bracing historical factoid: The last man to be elected U.S. president despite losing both his home and birth states was President James Knox Polk back in 1844. Why’s it bracing? Because Mitt Romney is very likely to lose his native state (Michigan) and home state (Massachusetts.)
Poking a Hole In Romney’s Odds (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Mitt Romney is likely to lose
His birth and his home states. Great news,
Because history says
That for Mitt to be prez
He needs one of those states … or Polk’s shoes.
Tags: Campaign Humor, Election Satire, James Polk, Massachusetts, Michigan, Mitt Romney, Presidential Election
Posted in Campaign Humor, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Mitt Romney Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, White House | Comments Off on Poking a Hole In Romney’s Odds (Limerick)
Tuesday, May 8th, 2012
Mitt Romney’s cowardice surfaced yet again today: Romney failed correct a woman who said Obama “should be tried for treason.”
Limerick Ode To Mitt “Afraid of the Fringe” Romney
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Dear Romney, a gal in your crowd
Called Obama a traitor out loud.
Though it’s clear that you heard,
You said nary a word
To dispute it: You’re shamefully cowed.
Tags: Barack Obama, Campaign Humor, Election Satire, Mitt Romney, Traitors, Treason
Posted in Barack Obama, Campaign Humor, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Mitt Romney Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor | 3 Comments »
Monday, May 7th, 2012
Rachel Maddow has long been covering Ron Paul’s stealth delegate strategy. Well finally, the rest of the mainstream media is starting to take notice. Here’s the Christian Science Monitor on Ron Paul’s big delegate wins in Maine and Nevada:
… Mr. Paul’s strategy of organizing the grass roots and working arcane delegate selection rules is paying off. And that could mean big trouble for Mitt Romney and his plans to smoothly pivot to a campaign aimed solely at incumbent President Obama.
Is Ron Paul Out-Maneuvering Mitt? (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Should Mitt be concerned about Paul
And his stealth, oddball delegate haul?
A Ron Paul power play
Could create disarray —
Tampa might not be dull, after all.
Tags: Campaign Humor, Delegate Selection Rules, Election Satire, Libertarians, Maine, Mitt Romney, Nevada, Republican National Convention, Ron Paul, Tampa
Posted in Campaign Humor, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Maine Satire, Mitt Romney Humor, Nevada Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Ron Paul, White House | 3 Comments »
Thursday, May 3rd, 2012
It can’t be easy to simultaneously piss off liberals, conservatives, gays, and homophobes. But Mitt Romney managed to do it.
How? By hiring and (under pressure from anti-gay conservatives) speedily muzzling and forcing out his openly gay, misogynistic, wingnutty foreign policy spokesman Ric Grenell.
Mitt Romney’s Grenell Gaffe (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Mitt Romney would love to dispel
His panicked farewell to Grenell:
Bigots bitched, so he jumped —
His gay spokesman, he dumped,
Selling out at alarm bells, pell-mell.
Tags: Bigotry Limerick, Campaign Humor, Election Satire, Foreign Policy, Gays, Homophobes, Mitt Romney, Richard Grenell
Posted in Campaign Humor, Election Satire, Foreign Policy, Gay Rights, GOP Humor, Homophobia, Mitt Romney Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor | 5 Comments »
Tuesday, May 1st, 2012
I’ve been meaning to comment on Mitt Romney’s cluelessly callous remarks to students at Otterbein University in Ohio:
…Mitt Romney told students that, his friend, Jimmy John, started a business by borrowing $20,000 from his parents at a low interest rate. Romney suggested anyone in the audience could do the same:
“…Take a shot, go for it, take a risk, get the education, borrow money if you have to from your parents, start a business.”
In other words, Romney wants students to be “job creators,” but he has no plans to help them. Now if you’re a rich “job creator,” that’s another story.
Limerick Ode To Mitt-Simplicity
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Dear Mitt, I was grateful and glad
That you shared the quick fix to be had
For youths who can’t pay
For college today:
Start a biz with a loan from your dad.
Tags: Campaign Humor, Economy Satire, Election Satire, Job Creators, Mitt Romney, Money Humor, Parents, Republican War On College, Student Loans
Posted in Campaign Humor, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Mitt Romney Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Student Loan Humor, Students Verse | 2 Comments »
Monday, April 30th, 2012
The GOP Pitch (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Republicans made a huge mess.
Dems’ fixes they’ve tried to suppress.
Yet Republicans crow:
“The recovery’s slow.
Dump Obama. We’ve earned that address.”
Tags: Barack Obama, Campaign Humor, Economy Satire, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Mitt Romney, Oval Office, Presidential Campaign Humor, Republicans Humor, White House
Posted in Barack Obama, Campaign Humor, Economy Humor, Election Satire, Fiscal Policy, GOP Humor, Mitt Romney Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, White House | 2 Comments »
Wednesday, April 18th, 2012
Remember the overblown Hilary Rosen stay-at-home moms controversy? We now know that Ann Romney was just pretending to feel victimized by Rosen’s remarks:
Ann Romney, the wife of GOP front-runner Mitt Romney, told supporters at a private fundraising event on Sunday that last week’s Hilary Rosen controversy was an “early birthday present.”
“It was my early birthday present for someone to be critical of me as a mother,” she said. “That was a really defining moment, and I loved it.”
Yes, to quote Maureen Dowd, Ann Romney “was feigning aggrievement to milk the moment.”
It’s important when you act the martyr not to overplay your hand. If you admit out loud to a bunch of people — including Haake, who was on the sidewalk enterprisingly eavesdropping — that you’re just pretending to be offended, you risk looking phony, like your husband.
Limerick Ode To Yet Another Romney Phony
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Dear Ann, when pretending you’re hurt
By an “insult” it’s best not to blurt
That the “diss” was a gift—
That you’re not really miffed,
Lest you swiftly your image subvert.
Tags: Ann Romney, Campaign Humor, Election Satire, Feminism Humor, Gender Humor, Hilary Rosen, Mitt Romney, Mothers, Republican Hypocrisy, Republican War On Women, Stay-At-Home Moms, Work Humor, Working Moms
Posted in Campaign Humor, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Hypocrisy Humor, Mitt Romney Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor | 2 Comments »
Tuesday, April 17th, 2012
Apparently, an Obama death threat from Mitt Romney surrogate Ted Nugent isn’t as condemnation-worthy as Ann Romney being dissed by Hilary Rosen. Good to know.
I suppose we should be grateful that after some nudging, Nugent’s presidential death threat was pronounced divisive by a Romney spokesperson.
Romney’s Nutcase Surrogate (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Romney’s Nugent has threatened Obama.
So where is the sturm and the drama?
When Ann Romney is dissed,
It’s harangue-worthy grist,
Far more grave than prez death threats? Oh mama!
Tags: Ann Romney, Barack Obama, Campaign Humor, Election Satire, Hilary Rosen, Mitt Romney, Ted Nugent
Posted in Barack Obama, Campaign Humor, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Mitt Romney Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor | 3 Comments »
Tuesday, April 17th, 2012
I’ve been trying to ignore the whole Hilary Rosen controversy. The one where Republicans use a stupid remark made by a CNN contributor to get everyone to stop talking about the Republican war on women.
Somehow, one person’s foolish remark is supposed to mean that President Obama and his fellow Dems diss stay-at-home moms:
The presidential campaign was consumed this week by controversy over Ann Romney and stay-at-home moms. Republicans seized on a stray comment by CNN contributor Hilary Rosen, who said Ann Romney had “never worked a day in her life.” Romney responded to the Rosen comments in a speech to the National Rifle Association on Friday, saying, “I happen to believe that all moms are working moms.”
But earlier this year, Romney said this on the topic of welfare:
“I wanted to increase the work requirement,” Romney said. “I said, for instance, that even if you have a child two years of age, you need to go to work. And people said, ‘Well that’s heartless,’ and I said ‘No, no, I’m willing to spend more giving daycare to allow those parents to go back to work. It’ll cost the state more providing that daycare, but I want the individuals to have the dignity of work.’” (emphasis added)
So apparently, raising children is dignified work only when done by wealthy gals like Ann Romney.
Mommy Madness (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Mitt Romney and Ann like to bitch
That the Dems have thrown moms down the ditch.
Yet Romney’s the jerk
Who said child care ain’t work,
Unless done by a mommy who’s rich.
Tags: Ann Romney, Campaign Humor, CNN, Dignity, Election Satire, Feminism Humor, Gender Humor, Hilary Rosen, Mitt Romney, Mothers, Republican War On Women, Stay-At-Home Moms, Welfare, Work Humor, Working Moms
Posted in Campaign Humor, Feminism Humor, Gender Politics, GOP Humor, Mitt Romney Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor | Comments Off on Mommy Madness (Limerick)
Tuesday, April 10th, 2012
Rick Santorum, having apparently read Pennsylvania’s tea leaves, exited the 2012 presidential race. Did Mitt Romney promise him something? Or is Santorum simply avoiding another home state debacle, so as to preserve his shot at Election 2016? I vote for the latter.
Santorum Saves Himself For 2016 (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Rick Santorum’s bowed out of the race.
It appears that the man could not face
The risk that he’d lose
His home state. Best refuse
To continue, avoiding disgrace.
Tags: Campaign Humor, Election 2012, Election 2016, Election Satire, Home State, Mitt Romney, Pennsylvania, Republicans Humor, Rick Santorum
Posted in Campaign Humor, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Mitt Romney Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Rick Santorum | Comments Off on Santorum Saves Himself For 2016 (Limerick)
Wednesday, March 28th, 2012
Mitt Romney has big plans to “eliminate government programs and shutter cabinet agencies.” Which ones are on his dump-list? He refuses to say, responding, with a warped sort of honesty, that providing specifics could cost him the election.
Or as Jonathan Chait amusingly puts it: “One of the things I have found in previous elections is that announcing my plans makes people want to vote against me!”
Mitt’s “Telling” Message (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
There are agencies Mitt doesn’t like
And programs he’s planning to spike.
But he won’t tell us which
He’s intending to ditch.
You want pre-voting facts? Take a hike.
Tags: Budget Cuts, Cabinet, Campaign Humor, Election Satire, Federal Agencies, Federal Budget, Federal Programs, Jonathan Chait, Mitt Romney, Voting Limerick
Posted in Campaign Humor, Election Satire, Fiscal Policy, GOP Humor, Mitt Romney Humor, Money & Finance Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Tax & Budget Humor | 3 Comments »
