Headline: “Sen. Josh Hawley Mocked for Claiming to Be ‘Muzzled’ in His ‘Splashy Front-Page’ NY Post Feature”
Poor Josh Hawley complains he’s been muzzled.
But his claim’s keeping many folks puzzled;
He’s a Sen. with a book
And a cover pic. Look,
Maybe Hawley just needs to be nuzzled.
Headline: “Collins calls crowdfunding to get her to oppose Kavanaugh a ‘bribe'”
Anti-Kavanaugh crowd-funding’s bribery?
That’s Sue Collins’ opprobrious gibery
About voters pro-choice
When raising their voice
About threats based on Kavanaugh’s scribery.
Gov. LePage, a/k/a “Crazy Unc,”
Often acts like he’s nuts, stoned, or drunk.
But he claims (Oy Gevalt!)
That his backbone’s at fault—
Bunk! (But better than blaming his junk.)
Whenever you read about Maine Governor Paul LePage’s crazy behavior, never forget this Boston.com headline from early August: “Donald Trump just gave Maine Gov. Paul LePage an open job offer.”
Paul LePage, who presides over Maine,
Seems unstable at best, or insane,
Which is probably why
Trump’s a fan of the guy.
They’re a match even hell can’t contain.
Rachel Maddow has long been covering Ron Paul’s stealth delegate strategy. Well finally, the rest of the mainstream media is starting to take notice. Here’s the Christian Science Monitor on Ron Paul’s big delegate wins in Maine and Nevada:
… Mr. Paul’s strategy of organizing the grass roots and working arcane delegate selection rules is paying off. And that could mean big trouble for Mitt Romney and his plans to smoothly pivot to a campaign aimed solely at incumbent President Obama.
Is Ron Paul Out-Maneuvering Mitt? (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Should Mitt be concerned about Paul
And his stealth, oddball delegate haul?
A Ron Paul power play
Could create disarray —
Tampa might not be dull, after all.
Would you like to dump the Department of Education and the Federal Reserve?
Do you believe there’s “collusion between government and industry in the global warming myth”?
Do you think the U.S. should adopt “Austrian Economics,” abrogate the “UN Treaty on Rights of the Child” and the “Law Of The Sea Treaty” and resist “efforts to create a one world government”?
Then do I have a Republican Party Platform for you:
Maine Mishigas (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The Republican Party of Maine
Has apparently gone quite insane.
It has managed to fill
Its new platform with swill.
What an odd way to run a campaign.
But citizens tend to ignore
Party platforms — they’re often a bore.
So Dems, spread the word
Re this platform absurd.
Cuz (if known) it has little allure.
Note: I suppose a crazy party platform should be expected from people who’d behave like this while they’re adopting it:
The Republican State Convention was held at the Portland Exposition Building, which is on Park Avenue, near the middle school. Party members from Knox County caucused in a classroom used by eighth-grade social studies teacher Paul Clifford.
When Clifford returned to school on Monday, he found that a favorite poster about the U.S. labor movement had been taken and replaced with a bumper sticker that read, “Working People Vote Republican.”
Later, Clifford learned that his classroom had been searched. Republicans who had attended the convention called Principal Mike McCarthy to complain about “anti-American” things they saw there, including a closed box containing copies of the U.S. Constitution that were published by the American Civil Liberties Union.
Mad Kane (Madeleine Begun Kane) is a writer, musician, and "recovering lawyer." She won the Robert Benchley Society Award For Humor and enjoys writing limericks, song parodies, and current events haiku.
You can email her at madkane@madkane.com, visit her non-political humor blog, or stop by her home page.
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