Archive for the ‘Legislation Humor’ Category

Limerick Ode To Bernie Sanders

Friday, December 10th, 2010

As you know, most of my limericks mock politicians or the media. But today’s verse is in honor of the great Sen. Bernie Sanders (I-Vt.) The stand he took today in his Senate filibuster of Obama’s tax deal with the Republicans was wonderful to behold:

Limerick Ode To Bernie Sanders
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Bravo for our hero, dear Bernie.
He’s engaged in a praise-worthy tourney.
He honors the floor—
Shows he’s great to his core.
Wish more Democrats joined in his journey.

(Thanks also to the two Democratic senators who joined him: Sherrod Brown of Ohio and Mary Landrieu of Louisiana.)

Hatching Hypocrisy

Thursday, June 3rd, 2010

Okay, so we have two Senatorial candidates who’ve pumped up their military records — Republican Mark Kirk of Illinois and Democrat Richard Blumenthal of Connecticut. We also have the horrified Republican Senator Orrin Hatch, who’s hatched the upright-sounding Stolen Valor Act. Just one problem: According to Hatch, it would criminalize Blumenthal’s behavior but (surprise, surprise) not Kirk’s.

Hatching Hypocrisy (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

When a pol says he fought for our land
And exaggerates, bolst’ring his brand,
That’s a crime, says Sen Hatch.
But of course there’s a catch:
Only Dems need obey this command.

Update: One of my few Republican Facebook friends, Rob Hood, posted a limerick response in Facebook asserting that I engage in anti-GOP gloating. Here’s my limerick rejoinder:

I’m a Dem, but I’m surely not gloating.
There’s no reason for happy emoting.
Though the GOP’s worse
Than the Dems, here’s our curse:
Most pols do not merit our voting.

Oily Obstruction

Monday, May 17th, 2010

You’d think that, in the wake of the BP Gulf oil disaster, raising oil spill liability limits would be a no-brainer, even for Republicans. But apparently not. Just ask Sen. Lisa Murkowski (R-Alaska), who blocked the Menendez-Nelson-Lautenberg “Oil Company Bailout Prevention Act,” a bill that would increase the liability cap for oil spills from $75 million to $10 billion.

Oily Obstruction (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Liability caps for a spill
Would be raised by the Democrats’ bill.
But Sen. Lisa says “No!”
She’s protecting each co
That drills oil, despite all that they kill.

They’d be hurt by such law, she maintains.
Such indifference to other folks’ pains!
Who will cover the bills
For the victims of spills?
It seems oil cos have Lisa in chains.

Mitt Romney: Constitutionally Confused

Friday, March 26th, 2010

Credit where credit is due: When it comes to self-contradiction, Mitt Romney is both fearless and peerless.

Once a staunch advocate of individual health insurance mandates — the Massachusetts governor who ardently defended their constitutionality — Romney has flip-flopped. Now that they’re required by the Democrats’ Affordable Care Act, they’ve magically turned unconstitutional.

Of course, constant flip-flops can be hard on the constitution. So it’s no surprise that Mitt Romney was for individual mandates before he was against them.

That brings me to my latest limerick:

Mitt Romney: Constitutionally Confused
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Individual mandates are great,
Said Mitt re Mass. health bill’s debate.
Now he swears that they’re awful
And even unlawful.
Your claims, my dear Mitt — get them straight.

Chuck Grassley Upchucks Hypocrisy

Thursday, March 25th, 2010

Senator Chuck Grassley, one of healthcare reform’s most vocal opponents, has outdone himself. He’s now trying to take credit for portions of the Affordable Health Care For America Act, bragging that he authored the good parts.

That brings me to my latest limerick:

Chuck Grassley Upchucks Hypocrisy
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Chuck Grassley threw health care a curve
When he stalled reform efforts with verve.
His votes were all “no.”
His performance was po’.
Yet he brags he’s an author. What nerve!

     

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And speaking of taking credit, check out Don Davis and his Rethuglicans Take Credit for ‘Home Scare Reform’.

Republicans: Stuck Between Their Crock And A Hard Place

Wednesday, March 24th, 2010

When it comes to health reform, Republicans are stuck between their crock and a hard place.

Repeal (requiring a veto-proof majority as long as Obama is president) is virtually impossible, not to mention unpopular. But the very GOP lies that came close to blocking health reform have brainwashed the Republican base into demanding its rescission. Consequently, many Republican leaders feel forced to perpetuate their doomsday and Armageddon claims and fight for repeal, even though they know it’s a lost cause.

That brings me to my latest limerick:

Republicans: Stuck Between Their Crock And A Hard Place
By Madeleine Begun Kane

The GOP base screams “Repeal!”
And Republicans pledge to with zeal.
Cuz they set their own trap
With their factual gap:
Nixing laws that have widespread appeal.

Republican Trials

Tuesday, March 23rd, 2010

How ironic that GOP state leaders are vowing to challenge the Affordable Health Care for America Act in court. For a party that’s always lambasting trial attorneys and activist judges, Republicans sure are litigious:

Republican Trials (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Republicans constantly boo
Trial lawyers. They do it on cue.
For a party that feels
Such attorneys are heels,
The GOP sure likes to sue.

Addled Threats

Monday, March 22nd, 2010

Now that health reform has passed, Republicans are angrier than ever. Mitt Romney calls it an “unconscionable abuse of power” and Bill Kristol is urging repeal in a Weekly Standard editorial. Moreover, Senators John McCain, Judd Gregg and their fellow GOPers are so incensed that they’ve come up with a very creative threat:

GOP senators emerged Monday to caution that the health debate had taken a toll on the institution, warning of little work between parties the rest of this year.

“There will be no cooperation for the rest of the year,” McCain said during an interview Monday on an Arizona radio affiliate. “They have poisoned the well in what they’ve done and how they’ve done it.”

Wow! The next thing you know, Republicans will be vowing to filibuster and obstruct.

And that brings me to my latest limerick:

Addled Threats
By Madeleine Begun Kane

The GOP’s angry as hell.
Says McCain, Dems have “poisoned the well.”
So the rest of the year
We won’t work with them here.
And how is that diff’rent? Do tell!

     

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I proud to say that this post is mentioned in the excellent
Health Wonk Review: Special Edition On Health Reform.

“Deem and Pass” Ditty

Saturday, March 20th, 2010

The House has apparently ditched the “deem and pass” health reform voting mechanism. Instead, it will hold separate up-or-down votes on the Senate health care bill and on the changes to that bill. While various explanations have been given, my limerick explains the real reason “deem and pass” plans have been abandoned:

“Deem and Pass” Ditty
By Madeleine Begun Kane

So “deem and pass” will not be used.
Not surprised — I was rather bemused:
To me, it was seemin’
It sounded like “demon.”
Of framing faux pas the phrase oozed.

Et Tu, Dennis?

Wednesday, March 17th, 2010

Big news on the health reform front: Dennis Kucinich caved. “Something is better than nothing,” the Ohio Congressman explained.

I’m not at all sure I buy the half a loaf theory because I have zero faith in Obama and his fellow Dems. I just don’t believe Democrats will ever manage to improve their health reform recipe.

Et Tu, Dennis? (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Obama takes lib’rals for granted,
And with Dennis’s “no” vote recanted,
It appears that he’s right:
Lib’ral pols have no fight!
Count this lib’ral as quite disenchanted.

Related Post: Dear Obama, Enough With The Voltaire!

I proud to say that this post is mentioned in the excellent
Health Wonk Review: Special Edition On Health Reform.

Ode To An Obstructionist

Friday, March 5th, 2010

As you undoubtedly know, Senator James Bunning (R-Kentucky) is retiring at the end of the year … and none too soon. Embittered and unstable, Jim Bunning seems determined to inflict as much damage as possible during his final months in office.

The immediate crisis caused by “Bunning’s Blockade” is now over, and unemployment benefits and other payments blocked by Bunning’s obstruction are back in the pipeline.

Not that Bunning’s finished making trouble. He also placed a blanket hold on all pending presidential nominees.

Why? Because he felt like it.

I do believe Bunning’s earned himself a limerick:

Ode To An Obstructionist (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Republican Senator Bunning
Seems senile and evilly cunning.
On his way out the door
He’s done damage galore.
But at least he’s not once again running.

Subversive Limerick

Thursday, March 4th, 2010

South Carolina is a very entertaining state … if you’re into oddball politicians and very strange laws.

For instance, South Carolina has a little known (until now) law requiring subversive agents to register with the state and pay a five dollar fee.

No, I’m not kidding. If you’d like to overthrow the government, you’re required to register with the government.

Naturally, Tea Party members think this law was passed purposely to target their group. If so, that would make South Carolina pols highly precognitive — the law dates way back to 1951.

But if any subversives do feel the urge to register, they’d better do it soon. Why? Because State Sen. Larry Martin, a Republican, is pushing to repeal it:

“I readily recognize when it had been passed and what the purpose of it was back in the 1950s,” he said. “But I don’t think Osama bin Laden is going to register. It’s outlived its usefulness.”

This cries out for a limerick, don’t you think?

Subversive Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

You’re subversive and live in SC?
There’s no problem — just pay a small fee.
File a form with a fiver.
It’s cheap, you conniver.
You’d best file if you party with tea.

Gosh-Darn Pols!

Monday, March 1st, 2010

I haven’t lived in California since I graduated from Cal Arts a zillion years ago. And when I read stories like this one about the California Assembly’s silly anti-cursing bill, I’m in no rush to go back. And certainly not to Sacramento:

Gosh-Darn Pols!
By Madeleine Begun Kane

California Assembly’s decree:
The first week of March is “cuss-free.”
So don’t fret about health,
Or pine for lost wealth,
Cuz your pols are protecting you. See?

Update: After writing this, I ran across this interesting post on the same topic by Seth Frederiksen, who’s originally from California. And there’s more information about the bill over here at skippy’s.

A Limerick For Lamar

Sunday, February 28th, 2010

As Steve Benen points out, we’ve already tried incrementalism. Nonetheless, Senator Lamar Alexander (R-Tenn.) keeps asserting that Congress can’t pass major legislation and should instead do things in bits and pieces.

Of course, Lamar and his fellow Republicans would say and do just about anything to prevent Democrats from passing comprehensive health care reform.

Lamar has earned himself a limerick:

A Limerick For Lamar
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Incremental reforms are the best,
Claims Lamar in support of his quest.
Sweeping change is too hard,
Says this Sen. to retard
All our health reform progress. Quelle peste!

Ode To GOP Stimulus Hypocrisy

Tuesday, February 23rd, 2010

It’s getting hard to keep track of all the Republican “trash and cash” Recovery Act hypocrisy. But Steve Benen has a stimulus hypocrisy update, and I have a limerick:

Ode To GOP Stimulus Hypocrisy
By Madeleine Begun Kane

“The stim bill was bad. Voted no,
Cuz it won’t the economy grow.”
That’s the GOP rant
As they privately chant,
“Now give me more stimulus dough.”

Senator Bayh, Buh Bye!

Monday, February 15th, 2010

Senator Evan Bayh (Pretend-Dem-Indiana) has announced that he won’t seek reelection this year. The conserva-Dem’s stated reason? Partisan gridlock is blocking progress.

While this is being viewed as a huge loss for Democrats and a great pick-up op for Republicans, I sure won’t miss Blue Dog Bayh. His so-called moderation and his unrelenting push for compromise with uncompromising Republicans has been a large impediment to passing progressive legislation.

And that brings me to my latest limerick:

Senator Bayh, Buh Bye!
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Sen. Bayh will not run again. Why?
Cuz there’s “not enough progress.” How wry!
He says partisanship
Is the cause. Here’s a tip:
Our problem is DINOS like Bayh.

Ode To Weak-Kneed Democrats

Monday, January 25th, 2010

In the wake of the Massachusetts election debacle, I keep naively expecting Democrats to wake up and smell the need to stop acting like patsies.

Any minute now (I tell myself) Dems under Obama’s leadership will call a halt to the futile act of making nice with Republicans (and Blue Dogs) and will start pursuing a truly progressive agenda.

But, alas, Democrats seem to have learned exactly the wrong lesson from losing Ted Kennedy’s Senate seat to a Republican.

And that brings me to my latest limerick:

Ode To Weak-Kneed Democrats
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Dear Obama and co are you nuts?
Or did someone abscond with your guts?
If you act like you’re weak
All your power will leak,
Hurling Dems out of town on their butts.

     

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Some related posts from Think Progress, Common Dreams, Susie Madrak, and Steve Benen.

Joe “Vote 60” No Mo’

Wednesday, January 20th, 2010

I’ve been searching for a positive note in the Massachusetts election debacle and its effect on health care reform and Obama’s agenda. And I’ve finally found the one up side to Democrat Martha Coakley’s upset loss to Republican Scott Brown:

Joe “Vote 60” No Mo’ (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Joe Lieberman’s blue — in a pout.
Massachusetts has cost him some clout:
Mr. “Me-Me-My-Mine”
Now just “Vote 59.”
Dems are screwed with his vote or without.

Dressing Down The President

Wednesday, December 16th, 2009

Removing the Medicare buy-in from the Senate health reform bill (to appease Senator Lieberman) was the last straw for Howard Dean. Dean says, “Kill the Senate Bill,” and I’m inclined to agree:

This is essentially the collapse of health care reform in the United States Senate. And, honestly, the best thing to do right now is kill the Senate bill and go back to the House and start the reconciliation process, where you only need 51 votes and it would be a much simpler bill.

I blame President Obama for this health reform fiasco. For it’s Obama who empowered Joe Lieberman to blackmail the Senate and hold health reform hostage.

And that brings me to my latest double limerick:

Dressing Down The President
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Dear Obama, your job is to lead.
You have failed. So has Senator Reid.
Seems you’d sign any swill
Labeled “health reform bill,”
And then brag that we’ve got what we need.

Yes, you’ve tragic’ly blown your great chance.
So spare us the song and the dance.
Though many will swear
You’ve done much for our care,
I am sorry — the prez has no pants.

“No-Man” Joe

Saturday, December 5th, 2009

When it comes to health care reform, Joe Lieberman is acting like a petulant baby: “Wah, wah, wah! Dump the public option, or I filibuster. So there!”

I don’t know whether Lieberman’s doing this because he’s owned by insurance companies or because he wants to punish Democrats. But it’s clearly not out of conviction. Otherwise, he could surely keep his rationale straight: Joe’s up to seven nonsensical reasons … and counting.

“No-Man” Joe (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

“Public option’s no good,” asserts Joe.
“Want my health reform vote? It must go.”
But his stated objections
Keep changing directions.
Joe’s mantra on health? “Just say no!”

Related Posts: A Limerick For Traitor Joe; and The Ballad Of Joementum Joe Lieberman.