Archive for the ‘Legal Limericks’ Category
Monday, October 1st, 2012
Today is the First Monday in October, which means the U.S. Supreme Court is back in session. A court, I might add, that’s packed with aging Justices, who could very well retire in the next four years.
Courting Votes (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The Supreme Court is back in DC—
A reminder that voting is key.
Just imagine the blight:
A court swing further right—
Forty-seven percenter debris.
UPDATE: In a Facebook discussion of my limerick, someone suggested that smoking weed might improve the Justices’ ability to render good decisions. So naturally, I had to write this:
The Justices need to be stoned —
Not with rocks, of course. Cannabis-zoned.
They’d make better decisions
And fewer provisions
Wherein stare decisis is boned.
Tags: 47 percent, Barack Obama, Campaign Humor, Cannabis, Court Appointments, Election Satire, Judiciary Humor, Legal Verse, Marijuana, Mitt Romney, SCOTUS, Stare Decisis, Supreme Court Humor, Weed
Posted in Barack Obama, Campaign Humor, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Judiciary Satire, Legal Limericks, Mitt Romney Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Supreme Court, White House | 3 Comments »
Thursday, April 5th, 2012
Wow! When I wasn’t looking, President Obama apparently mugged the U.S. Supreme Court:
To the fainting couch! Obama attacked the Supreme Court and threatened it with a backlash, should it strike down his tyrannical scheme to impose a government takeover of health care on the nation!
That’s what many conservative writers and even some centrist ones are arguing. They are saying that Obama’s words about the Court yesterday were “unsettling” and a “witch-hunt,” and they’re likening them to F.D.R.’s efforts to pack the Court in retaliation for decisions striking down New Deal initiatives.
Please. If what Obama said yesterday is an “attack,” it’s pretty timid stuff indeed.
SCOTUS-Scolding Scandal? (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The very same wingnuts who blast
So-called “activist courts” are aghast
And are faulting Obama
With petulant drama:
“He’s attacking the Court,” they lambaste.
Seems those wingnut Supremes need a hug,
Cuz Obama’s a meanie and “thug.”
His complaint, although mild,
Is driving them wild.
Those guys are sure easy to bug.
Tags: Activist Courts, Activist Judge, Barack Obama, Federal Courts, Health Care Reform, Judicial Review Humor, Judiciary Satire, Legal Verse, Litigation Humor, Obamacare, SCOTUS, Supreme Court Humor, Wingnuts
Posted in Barack Obama, Constitution Humor, Constitutional Crisis, Health Satire, Judiciary Satire, Law Satire, Legal Limericks, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Supreme Court, Wingnuts | 2 Comments »
Tuesday, April 3rd, 2012
Chances are, you’ve heard about the latest Supreme Court travesty:
In a 5-4 decision, the court ruled against a New Jersey man erroneously arrested during a 2005 traffic stop for a fine he had already paid. Today’s ruling holds that even people arrested for minor offenses can be subjected to strip searches.
Supreme Indecency (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Thanks to Kennedy, Roberts, Scalia,
And their pals, cops can strip ya and see ya.
They don’t need any reason:
It’s strip searching season.
Our privacy’s gone! Mama mia!
Tags: ACLU, Arrests Limerick, Chief Justice John Roberts, Constitution Verse, Crime & Punishment, Criminal Justice, Invasion of Privacy, Justice Anthony Kennedy, Justice Antonin Scalia, Justice Clarence Thomas, Justice Samuel Alito Jr., Law Humor, Legal Verse, New Jersey, Privacy Humor, Strip Searches, Supreme Court Limerick, Traffic Stop, U.S. Supreme Court
Posted in Constitution Humor, Constitutional Crisis, Crime, Judiciary Satire, Law Satire, Legal Limericks, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Privacy Humor, Supreme Court | 4 Comments »
Thursday, December 1st, 2011
I have to laugh at Herman Cain’s audacious demand for the phone records of extra-marital affair accuser Ginger White.
I presume this is just grandstanding. Because Cain’s lawyer, Lin Wood, surely knows that he has no right to those records, except in the course of litigation discovery. In other words, no lawsuit — no phone record fishing expedition.
Cain’s Grandstanding Demands (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
So did Cain break his marital vow?
He’s demanding the phone records now
Of the gal who accused him.
She ought to refuse him:
No lawsuit? No right! Disallow!
Tags: Campaign Satire, Election Humor, Ginger White, Herman Cain, Law Humor, Lin Wood, Litigation Humor
Posted in Campaign Humor, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Herman Cain, Legal Limericks, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor | 3 Comments »
Tuesday, May 31st, 2011
I never thought I’d say this, but spam can be enlightening.
I’m referring to a recent spam flurry promoting home abortion kits. And we have Republicans to thank for this disturbing trend. After all, newly empowered Republicans have been targeting abortion rights in a big way. And at the state level they’ve been very successful at severely limiting women’s reproductive rights.
Who knew that when Republicans claimed to be pro-small business, they were talking about abortion kit scam artists?
That brings me to my latest limerick:
This Spam’s An Abortion
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A new (to me) flavor of scam
Came by email for gals in a jam.
Yes, a legal cascade
Against Roe versus Wade
Has inspired abortion kit spam.
Tags: Abortion Rights, Comment Spam, Family Planning, Feminism Humor, Feminist Limerick, Gender Humor, Home Abortion Kits, Legal Satire, Legislation Humor, Reproductive Rights, Republicans Humor, Roe v. Wade
Posted in Abortion Rights, Family Values Humor, Feminism Humor, Gender Politics, Law Satire, Legal Limericks, Legislation Humor, Political Limericks, Republicans Humor, Wingnuts | 10 Comments »
Tuesday, April 19th, 2011
For someone who claims we’re broke, John Boehner certainly has some interesting priorities:
House Republicans plan to pay former Solicitor General Paul Clement and his legal team from King & Spaulding as much as $500,000 of taxpayer money to uphold the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) on behalf of House of Representatives…
As Steve Benen says:
… Boehner has been running around for months, falsely claiming, “We’re broke.” It’s how he justifies proposed cuts in critical areas like education, medical research, infrastructure, job training, and homeland security, even if it makes the jobs crisis much worse.
That brings me to my latest limerick:
DOMA Dollars
By Madeleine Begun Kane
John Boehner asserts that we’re broke,
But wastes cash to please wingnutty folk:
Big taxpayer bucks
On a lawyer deluxe
To save DOMA — for bigots bespoke.
Tags: Bias Humor, Budget Limerick, Defense Of Marriage Act, DOMA, Economy Satire, Gay Marriage, House Satire, John Boehner, King & Spaulding, Law Satire, Paul Clement, Republican Priorities, Wingnuts
Posted in Family Values Humor, Fiscal Policy, Gay Rights, Homophobia, John Boehner, Law Satire, Legal Limericks, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Tax & Budget Humor, Wingnuts | 5 Comments »
Wednesday, February 16th, 2011
Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas is under scrutiny these days for conflicts of interest related to the Koch Brothers, the Federalist Society, and the Citizens United case.
But today’s limerick and haiku will focus, instead, on the fact that Thomas hasn’t asked a single appellate hearing question in five years.
For the record, I did quite a bit of litigation work during my lawyering years. And believe me, his failure to speak throughout five years of hearings is peculiar and reflects very poorly on his judicial skills.
That brings me to my Clarence Thomas limerick:
Limerick Ode To Clarence Thomas
By Madeleine Begun Kane
I’m mindful that Thomas can talk,
But at queries for hearings he’ll balk.
He’s been silent for years–
Five in all. I’m all ears.
If he asks one sharp question, I’ll gawk.
And here’s my Clarence Thomas haiku:
The Sup Court’s Thomas–
Too ill-informed for queries?
Or just too lazy?
UPDATE: It’s been nearly two years since I wrote this limerick and haiku. So in fairness, I must announce that Justice Thomas has finally broken his silence.
Now mind you, he didn’t ask a sharp question … or, indeed, any question: He merely made a mildly amusing four-word (or so) remark about lawyers who went to Yale.
Still … it’s a start.
Tags: Citizens United, Clarence Thomas, Conflicts Of Interest, Federalist Society, Koch Brothers, Law Satire, Legal Humor, U.S. Supreme Court
Posted in Legal Limericks, Political Haiku & Senryu, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Supreme Court | 7 Comments »
Monday, January 10th, 2011
In the wake of the Arizona shootings, there isn’t much news to celebrate in rhyme. But I finally came up with something: Former House Majority Leader Tom DeLay (R-Texas) was sentenced to three years in prison for “conspiring to launder corporate money into political donations during the 2002 elections.”
That brings me to my latest limerick:
Want Tom In Prison — No Delay!
By Madeleine Begun Kane
There’s a glimmer of good news today:
It’s prison for Thomas DeLay.
His sentence? Three years.
So let’s hear it: Three cheers!
Please no stay! Want DeLay put away.
Tags: Campaign Satire, Crime, Election Humor, Law Satire, Legal Verse, Money Laundering, Prisons, Tom DeLay
Posted in Campaign Humor, Congress Humor, Corruption Humor, Crime, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Law Satire, Legal Limericks, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Texas Humor | 7 Comments »
Wednesday, October 20th, 2010
By now you’ve surely heard about Delaware Republican Senatorial candidate Christine O’Donnell’s astonishing screw-up in her debate against opponent Chris Coons. I’m speaking, of course, of her First Amendment gaffe. In her now infamous exchange (in a law school, yet) Tea-Partier O’Donnell “appeared to be aggressively ignorant of the fact that the First Amendment requires the separation of church and state.”
That brings me to my latest Limerick:
Yet Another Limerick Ode To Christine O’Donnell
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Debating our Fed Constitution
Can be tough when your grasp’s Lilliputian:
Hence O’Donnell’s conflation
Of church and our nation.
Her savvy could use evolution.
(Here’s my previous limerick about Christine O’Donnell.)
Tags: Campaign Satire, Chris Coons, Christine O'Donnell, Church and State, Debate Limerick, Delaware, Election Humor, First Amendment, Gaffes, Religion Humor, U.S. Constitution
Posted in Campaign Humor, Christine O'Donnell, Constitution Humor, Debate Humor, Election Satire, Law Satire, Legal Limericks, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Religious Satire, Republicans Humor, Senate Satire, Tea Parties, Wingnuts | 8 Comments »
Friday, August 6th, 2010
The gay-bashers are at it again, freaking out at Judge Vaughn Walker’s pro-gay marriage Proposition 8 decision in Perry v. Schwarzenegger. The attacks claim, among other things, that:
The ruling is a travesty of justice because Walker himself is reportedly gay – and because he’s gay, he should’ve removed himself from the case!
Boy, am I glad I never parlayed my law degree into a judgeship. Because, based on this “reasoning,” I would have been duty-bound to recuse myself from any case involving women, Jews, short people, straights, New Yorkers, satirists, versifiers, lawyers, oboe players, agnostics, and people older than … uh … never mind.
That brings me to my latest limerick:
Judge Walker’s Critics — Divorced From Reason
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Judge Walker’s well-reasoned decision
Has been met with gay-bashing derision:
He’s “reportedly gay,”
So was biased their way.
Oh, just straight guys have unbiased vision?
Tags: Bias Humor, Gay Marriage, Judge Vaughn Walker, Judiciary Humor, Legal Satire, Litigation Humor, Perry V. Schwarzenegger, Proposition 8
Posted in California Satire, Constitution Humor, Gay Rights, Law Satire, Legal Limericks, Political Limericks, Social Satire | 8 Comments »
Wednesday, July 14th, 2010
As I wrote Monday, David Vitter has an unexpected primary fight on his hands. Well, apparently he’s now so desperate to hold on to the wingnut vote, that he’s turned into a full-fledged Birther.
At a town hall event Sunday, he made it clear that he backs Birther lawsuits challenging President Obama’s citizenship, saying he supports “conservative legal organizations and others who would bring that to court.”
That brings me to my latest David Vitter limerick:
The Birth Of Lunacy
By Madeleine Begun Kane
David Vitter has told us his view
Of the Birther position, on cue.
He profoundly approves
And says it behooves
Those with standing to sue, baby, sue.
Tags: Birthers, David Vitter, Legal Verse, Wingnuts
Posted in Barack Obama, Birther Humor, David Vitter, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Law Satire, Legal Limericks, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, White House, Wingnuts | 7 Comments »
Wednesday, June 30th, 2010
Way back in 1999, President Bill Clinton nominated a brilliant lawyer for a seat on the federal appeals court based in the District of Columbia.
Alas, that lawyer never got to the D.C. bench. Indeed, the brilliant nominee never even got to testify before the Senate Judiciary Committee.
You see, the lawyer suffered from a fatal flaw — she’d been named by a Democratic President, and her appointment would shift the balance of a very important court. So Republican Senator Orrin Hatch, as chairman of the Senate Judiciary Committee, blocked her nomination, refusing to schedule a hearing.
Disappointed but undaunted, the brilliant lawyer pursued other legal opportunities over the years and achieved great success.
More than a decade after this ill-fated nomination, the federal bench beckoned once again. But this time it was a nomination to the highest court of the land.
Getting a hearing wasn’t a problem this time. A hearing where Senator Hatch and his fellow Republicans would look askance at the brilliant lawyer, complaining she lacked the very judicial experience they had denied her.
Who was that brilliant lawyer? Elena Kagan.
And now you know… the rest of the story.
Related Posts: Robin Ghivan Makes Me Cross, Why I’ll Never Be A Supreme Court Justice, Leery About Elena, and Obama’s What???
Tags: Bill Clinton, Elena Kagan, Judiciary Satire, Legal Humor, Orrin Hatch, Paul Harvey Parody, Supreme Court
Posted in Elena Kagan, Law Satire, Legal Limericks, Orrin Hatch, Political Limericks, Senate Satire, Supreme Court | 1 Comment »
Sunday, May 23rd, 2010
Alert the authorities: U.S. Supreme Court nominee Elena Kagan has “embraced dowdy as a mark of brainpower.” Moreover, unlike “most women” she doesn’t cross her legs when she’s sitting.
Yes, Washington Post columnist Robin Ghivan is at it again with her sexist political fashion drivel. (I still haven’t recovered from Ghivan’s column about Hillary Clinton’s cleavage.)
Well here’s a news flash for Ms. Ghivan: Any grown woman with half a brain knows that crossing your legs is both uncomfortable and unhealthy. But hey, if you want varicose veins go right ahead.
Robin Ghivan Makes Me Cross (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
If you care about good circulation
And prefer that your feet have sensation,
Then you don’t cross your legs.
Givhan’s column’s the dregs.
Sexist nonsense is Robin’s fixation.
Tags: Circulation, Elena Kagan, Fashion Police, Feminist Satire, Hillary Clinton, Law Satire, Media Humor, Robin Ghivan, Supreme Court Humor, Washington Post, Women's Health
Posted in Elena Kagan, Feminism Humor, Judiciary Satire, Law Satire, Legal Limericks, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Supreme Court | Comments Off on Robin Ghivan Makes Me Cross
Monday, May 17th, 2010
You’d think that, in the wake of the BP Gulf oil disaster, raising oil spill liability limits would be a no-brainer, even for Republicans. But apparently not. Just ask Sen. Lisa Murkowski (R-Alaska), who blocked the Menendez-Nelson-Lautenberg “Oil Company Bailout Prevention Act,” a bill that would increase the liability cap for oil spills from $75 million to $10 billion.
Oily Obstruction (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Liability caps for a spill
Would be raised by the Democrats’ bill.
But Sen. Lisa says “No!”
She’s protecting each co
That drills oil, despite all that they kill.
They’d be hurt by such law, she maintains.
Such indifference to other folks’ pains!
Who will cover the bills
For the victims of spills?
It seems oil cos have Lisa in chains.
Tags: Bill Nelson, BP, Environment, Gulf Of Mexico, Law Satire, Legal Verse, Legislation Humor, Liability Caps, Lisa Murkowski, Obstructionism, Oil Disasters, Robert Menendez
Posted in Energy Humor, Environment Satire, Law Satire, Legal Limericks, Legislation Humor, Political Commentary, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Senate Satire | 2 Comments »
Thursday, May 13th, 2010
As the Washington Post’s Valerie Strauss points out, the U.S. Supreme Court is packed with graduates of Harvard Law and Yale Law:
Assuming President Obama wins confirmation of Solicitor General Elena Kagan to the Supreme Court, that august body will be exclusively filled with judges who earned their law degrees at Harvard or Yale.
Strauss thinks such exclusivity is a bad idea and, as you can tell from this limerick, so do I:
Why I’ll Never Be A Supreme Court Justice
By Madeleine Begun Kane
It appears that Supremes have to hail
From the law schools of Harvard or Yale.
My law school’s St. John’s.
That’s just one of my “cons.”
Plus I’m sixty — I might as well bail.
Tags: Education Humor, Elena Kagan, Harvard, Ivy League, Judiciary Humor, Law Degree Humor, Law Satire, Law Schools, Legal Humor, Resume Humor, U.S. Supreme Court, Yale
Posted in Education Limerick, Elena Kagan, Judiciary Satire, Law Satire, Legal Limericks, Personal, Supreme Court | 6 Comments »
Thursday, May 13th, 2010
Apparently, anti-Kagan attacks from the right have been inspiring some liberals to rally around her. But I’m not among them. Not yet, anyway.
Now for all I know, Elena Kagan may be a closet liberal. I sure hope so. But so far there’s little to suggest that Kagan’s any more liberal than President Obama, and that scares me.
Leery About Elena (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
There’s no doubt that Ms. Kagan’s quite smart.
Some say brilliant, but does she have heart?
We’ve a liberal hole.
Will she fill it with soul,
Or tip the court “right” from the start?
Tags: Barack Obama, Elena Kagan, Empathy, Judiciary Humor, Law Satire, Legal Humor, Liberals, Supreme Court Humor
Posted in Barack Obama, Elena Kagan, Judiciary Satire, Law Satire, Legal Limericks, Political Limericks, Supreme Court | 2 Comments »
Tuesday, May 11th, 2010
How amusing! We’ve moved from “Obama’s Katrina” to “Obama’s Harriet Miers.” Yes, wingnutty Republicans are invoking Harriet Miers in discussing Obama’s U.S. Supreme Court nominee Elena Kagan. Sorry, Redstate and the rest of you, the answer to “Will this be President Obama’s Harriet Miers Moment?” is “No!”
That brings me to my latest limerick:
Obama’s What???
By Madeleine Begun Kane
“Obama’s Katrina,” they say.
“Obama’s H. Miers,” they pray.
To the wingnuts give thanks
For reminding the ranks
Of the many ways Bush went astray.
Related Posts: U.S. Supreme Court Humor
Tags: Bush, Elena Kagan, Harriet Miers, Judiciary Humor, Katrina, Law Satire, Legal Humor, Supreme Court Humor, Wingnuts
Posted in Barack Obama, Elena Kagan, George Bush Satire, GOP Humor, Judiciary Satire, Legal Limericks, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Supreme Court, White House, Wingnuts | 6 Comments »
Friday, April 9th, 2010
It’s the end of an era. The great Justice John Paul Stevens has announced his resignation from the U.S. Supreme Court. Here’s a thank you limerick for Justice Stevens:
Obama, Please Aim For Even Stevens
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Great thanks to a judge I admire:
Justice Stevens, alas, must retire.
A supreme loss, indeed!
Please Obama, take heed:
In his place, name a judge who’ll inspire.
Tags: John Paul Stevens, Judiciary Humor, Legal Verse, Obama poem, Supreme Court Limerick, U.S. Supreme Court
Posted in Barack Obama, Judiciary Satire, Law Satire, Legal Limericks, Political Limericks, Supreme Court | 6 Comments »
Friday, March 26th, 2010
Credit where credit is due: When it comes to self-contradiction, Mitt Romney is both fearless and peerless.
Once a staunch advocate of individual health insurance mandates — the Massachusetts governor who ardently defended their constitutionality — Romney has flip-flopped. Now that they’re required by the Democrats’ Affordable Care Act, they’ve magically turned unconstitutional.
Of course, constant flip-flops can be hard on the constitution. So it’s no surprise that Mitt Romney was for individual mandates before he was against them.
That brings me to my latest limerick:
Mitt Romney: Constitutionally Confused
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Individual mandates are great,
Said Mitt re Mass. health bill’s debate.
Now he swears that they’re awful
And even unlawful.
Your claims, my dear Mitt — get them straight.
Tags: Affordable Care Act, Constitution Verse, Health Care Reform, Health Insurance, Legal Humor, Legislation Satire, Massachusetts, Mitt Romney, Republican Flip-Flops
Posted in Constitution Humor, GOP Humor, Governors Humor, Health Satire, Hypocrisy Humor, Insurance Humor, Law Satire, Legal Limericks, Legislation Humor, Mitt Romney Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire | 4 Comments »
Tuesday, March 23rd, 2010
How ironic that GOP state leaders are vowing to challenge the Affordable Health Care for America Act in court. For a party that’s always lambasting trial attorneys and activist judges, Republicans sure are litigious:
Republican Trials (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Republicans constantly boo
Trial lawyers. They do it on cue.
For a party that feels
Such attorneys are heels,
The GOP sure likes to sue.
Tags: Activist Judge, GOP Humor, Health Care Reform, Judiciary Humor, Law Humor, Law Satire, Lawsuits, Legislation Satire, Litigation Humor, Republican Hypocrisy, Republicans Humor, Trial Lawyers
Posted in GOP Humor, Health Satire, Hypocrisy Humor, Irony, Judiciary Satire, Legal Limericks, Legislation Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor | 4 Comments »
This Spam’s An Abortion
Tuesday, May 31st, 2011I never thought I’d say this, but spam can be enlightening.
I’m referring to a recent spam flurry promoting home abortion kits. And we have Republicans to thank for this disturbing trend. After all, newly empowered Republicans have been targeting abortion rights in a big way. And at the state level they’ve been very successful at severely limiting women’s reproductive rights.
Who knew that when Republicans claimed to be pro-small business, they were talking about abortion kit scam artists?
That brings me to my latest limerick:
This Spam’s An Abortion
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A new (to me) flavor of scam
Came by email for gals in a jam.
Yes, a legal cascade
Against Roe versus Wade
Has inspired abortion kit spam.
Tags: Abortion Rights, Comment Spam, Family Planning, Feminism Humor, Feminist Limerick, Gender Humor, Home Abortion Kits, Legal Satire, Legislation Humor, Reproductive Rights, Republicans Humor, Roe v. Wade
Posted in Abortion Rights, Family Values Humor, Feminism Humor, Gender Politics, Law Satire, Legal Limericks, Legislation Humor, Political Limericks, Republicans Humor, Wingnuts | 10 Comments »