Archive for the ‘Kamala Harris’ Category

Trump’s “Genius” Speeches (3-Verse Limerick)

Thursday, September 5th, 2024

So…, you know all those oddball rally rants about wind and bacon, sharks and electrocution, “Alphonse” Capone, and the “late, great Hannibal Lecter?” According to Trump, he’s doing the “weave,” which makes him an oratorical genius:

Trump’s meandering salad linguistic
Is (to Donald) a “weave” — his euphuistic,
Novel term for confusing
And logic-abusing
Addresses. (Turns out they’re artistic!)

Trump’s digressions, he says, all make sense;
They are woven with brilliance intense.
He defies expectations
With dazzling orations.
Seems the Donald’s a “genius” immense.

So the next time you hear Donald speak,
Do not call him off-script or oblique.
With his language command,
He’s the best in the land;
A true maestro of flapping his beak.

Trump’s Poll Obsession (Limerick)

Tuesday, August 27th, 2024

In a call-in to Fox News, Trump argued with Martha MacCallum about the polls:

When Ms. MacCallum observed, accurately, that Ms. Harris was “having some success” with women, Hispanic and Black voters, Mr. Trump objected. “She’s not having success; I’m having success,” he said. “I’m doing great with the Hispanic voters, doing great with Black men, I’m doing great with women.”

“It’s only in your eyes that they have that, Martha,” he added. “We are doing very well.”

Hence, this limerick:

Trump obsessively follows each poll,
And bad numbers are taking their toll.
When he’s bested, he’s pissed.
I’m ahead, he’ll insist.
Don-OLD’s poll-envy’s out of control.

Trump’s Woman-Problem (Limerick)

Saturday, August 24th, 2024

NY Times Headline: “On Truth Social, Donald Trump Tries to Refashion Himself as Supportive of Abortion Rights”

As his poll numbers fade, Trump’s dismayed,
So the felon who wrecked Roe v. Wade,
Now is feigning support
For the right to abort.
Too late Don-OLD! By CHOICERS you’re NAYED!

Relishing The Joy (Limerick)

Friday, August 23rd, 2024

(Written in a rare — for ME — moment of optimism)

I’m exceedingly happy to say
That the Dems are right now in array.
Will this last long enough
In a contest so tough?
All my money’s on YEA … and so YAY!

<== If Trump Could Write Limericks ==>

Friday, August 16th, 2024

During Thursday’s “just pretend” press conference, Trump used being called “weird” as a justification for personal attacks on Kamala Harris. Hence my “If Trump Could Write Limericks.”

Meanie Kamala says that I’m “weird.”
JD too, so we both have been smeared.
And that means I am free
To insult her with glee.
So here goes: Dougie Emhoff’s her BEARD!

Trump’s Scorned Advice (2-Verse Limerick)

Wednesday, August 14th, 2024

Donald’s allies keep warning the guy
That his insults and whining won’t fly:
She “turned Black?” Staged a “coup?”
“AI Crowds?” “Low IQ?”
All false claims that most voters won’t buy!

Though he’s eager to once again reign,
Donald treats their advice with disdain.
To his old ways, he cleaves.
(He knows best, he believes.)
That’s great news: He’ll keep acting insane!

Donald’s Dilemma (Limerick)

Friday, August 9th, 2024

Trump’s new rival is chock-full of zest,
So old Donald’s morose and depressed.
With his poll numbers slidin’,
He misses Joe Biden.
(Time to fake a failed “bar exam” test?)

Cowardly Donald (Limerick)

Sunday, August 4th, 2024

I can’t resist mocking Trump’s attempts to weenie out of debating Harris. Why? Because his pretext for backing out of the ABC debate (and switching to a Fox debate) doesn’t pass the straight-faced test:

“I am in litigation against ABC Network and George Slopadopoulos, thereby creating a conflict of interest.” What’s wrong with that excuse? Trump’s lawsuit is NOT a new development. Trump filed suit in MARCH and agreed to the ABC debate nearly two months later, in MAY.

To his base, Trump’s a tough, macho male,
Who would never back down and/or bail.
Yet he’s scared to debate
Our great VEEP on the date
And agreed-upon place. He turned tail!

Phony Vance (2-Verse Limerick)

Friday, August 2nd, 2024

JD Vance once called Trump “reprehensible”
And compared him to Hitler. (Sounds sensible!)
But now Vance is debasing
Himself by embracing
The Donald, a move indefensible.

JD lives in a house made of glass,
Yet he missed the “no stone-throwing” class.
So he hurls his baloney
At Harris. (She’s “PHONY?!?”)
Poor Vance; his sad ass is now grass.

More Trump Lies (Limerick)

Wednesday, July 31st, 2024

ABC News Headline: “Donald Trump says Kamala Harris, who’s married to a Jewish man, ‘doesn’t like Jewish people'”

Don-OLD falsely asserts that our VEEP
“Doesn’t like Jewish people.” That creep
Knows full well Doug (her spouse)
Is a Jew. Trump’s a louse
And a felon. The man’s full of… BLEEP!

Defeat Team “Weird!” (Limerick)

Sunday, July 28th, 2024

A creative critique of Trump/Vance
Is they’re “weird” which, while true at a glance,
Is the least of their sins.
We must ward off their wins!
If we don’t, freedom won’t stand a chance.

The Battle Ahead (Limerick)

Tuesday, July 23rd, 2024

The journey that took us from Joe
To Kamala WAS a bit slow.
But now that we’re there,
We’ll win this, I swear!
To the Trump and Vance pair, just say NO!