Archive for the ‘Judiciary Satire’ Category
Wednesday, October 3rd, 2012
Dear Scott Brown: When trying to sell yourself in Massachusetts as a moderate independent, it’s best not to name Antonin Scalia as your favorite U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Methinks you made Elizabeth Warren’s day.
Limerick Ode To Scott Brown
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Dear Scott Brown, seems your cover’s been blown:
Your favorite Justice is known
As Extremist Supreme.
You named Nino! Your scheme
To sound moderate’s naught but a drone.
Tags: Campaign Humor, Election Satire, Elizabeth Warren, Justice Antonin Scalia, Legal Verse, Massachusetts, Scott Brown, U.S. Supreme Court
Posted in Campaign Humor, Election Satire, Elizabeth Warren, GOP Humor, Judiciary Satire, Legal Limericks, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Scott Brown, Supreme Court | 2 Comments »
Monday, October 1st, 2012
Today is the First Monday in October, which means the U.S. Supreme Court is back in session. A court, I might add, that’s packed with aging Justices, who could very well retire in the next four years.
Courting Votes (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The Supreme Court is back in DC—
A reminder that voting is key.
Just imagine the blight:
A court swing further right—
Forty-seven percenter debris.
UPDATE: In a Facebook discussion of my limerick, someone suggested that smoking weed might improve the Justices’ ability to render good decisions. So naturally, I had to write this:
The Justices need to be stoned —
Not with rocks, of course. Cannabis-zoned.
They’d make better decisions
And fewer provisions
Wherein stare decisis is boned.
Tags: 47 percent, Barack Obama, Campaign Humor, Cannabis, Court Appointments, Election Satire, Judiciary Humor, Legal Verse, Marijuana, Mitt Romney, SCOTUS, Stare Decisis, Supreme Court Humor, Weed
Posted in Barack Obama, Campaign Humor, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Judiciary Satire, Legal Limericks, Mitt Romney Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Supreme Court, White House | 3 Comments »
Monday, July 2nd, 2012
Open Limerick To Chief Justice John Roberts
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Justice Roberts, your allies are mean,
And their attitude’s often obscene.
When they hate one decision,
Their answer’s derision:
Your meds fried your brain. No more sheen!
With people like that in your camp,
Perhaps it is time to revamp
Your views and opinions.
Dump low-lives as minions.
Convert! Be a working man’s champ.
Tags: ACA, Affordable Care Act, GOP Humor, Health Care Reform, Health Reform, Justice John Roberts, Law Humor, Legal Verse, Obamacare, Republicans Humor, Supreme Court Limerick, U.S. Constitution, U.S. Supreme Court
Posted in Barack Obama, Constitution Humor, GOP Humor, Health Satire, Judiciary Satire, Law Satire, Legislation Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Supreme Court | 10 Comments »
Friday, June 29th, 2012
Republicans are in shock over the U.S. Supreme Court’s “Obamacare” decision. They’d been so sure they had Justice John Roberts in their pockets, that they’re behaving like betrayed lovers: How dare he side with the liberal wing of the court on the constitutionality question!
Many of them are enraged to the point of irrationality. In fact, even Justice Roberts seems to have noticed the GOP’s “what have you done for me lately” nastiness. He actually joked about going into hiding.
GOP Falls Out Of Love With Roberts (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The decision John Roberts just penned
Has sent ACA foes round the bend.
Up till now he’d promote
All their views with his vote.
Has their Roberts’ romance reached an end?
Tags: ACA, Affordable Care Act, GOP Humor, Health Care Reform, Health Reform, Justice John Roberts, Law Humor, Legal Verse, Obamacare, Republicans Humor, Supreme Court Limerick, U.S. Constitution, U.S. Supreme Court
Posted in Barack Obama, Constitution Humor, GOP Humor, Health Satire, Judiciary Satire, Law Satire, Legislation Humor, Political Commentary, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Supreme Court | 2 Comments »
Thursday, April 5th, 2012
Wow! When I wasn’t looking, President Obama apparently mugged the U.S. Supreme Court:
To the fainting couch! Obama attacked the Supreme Court and threatened it with a backlash, should it strike down his tyrannical scheme to impose a government takeover of health care on the nation!
That’s what many conservative writers and even some centrist ones are arguing. They are saying that Obama’s words about the Court yesterday were “unsettling” and a “witch-hunt,” and they’re likening them to F.D.R.’s efforts to pack the Court in retaliation for decisions striking down New Deal initiatives.
Please. If what Obama said yesterday is an “attack,” it’s pretty timid stuff indeed.
SCOTUS-Scolding Scandal? (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The very same wingnuts who blast
So-called “activist courts” are aghast
And are faulting Obama
With petulant drama:
“He’s attacking the Court,” they lambaste.
Seems those wingnut Supremes need a hug,
Cuz Obama’s a meanie and “thug.”
His complaint, although mild,
Is driving them wild.
Those guys are sure easy to bug.
Tags: Activist Courts, Activist Judge, Barack Obama, Federal Courts, Health Care Reform, Judicial Review Humor, Judiciary Satire, Legal Verse, Litigation Humor, Obamacare, SCOTUS, Supreme Court Humor, Wingnuts
Posted in Barack Obama, Constitution Humor, Constitutional Crisis, Health Satire, Judiciary Satire, Law Satire, Legal Limericks, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Supreme Court, Wingnuts | 2 Comments »
Tuesday, April 3rd, 2012
Chances are, you’ve heard about the latest Supreme Court travesty:
In a 5-4 decision, the court ruled against a New Jersey man erroneously arrested during a 2005 traffic stop for a fine he had already paid. Today’s ruling holds that even people arrested for minor offenses can be subjected to strip searches.
Supreme Indecency (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Thanks to Kennedy, Roberts, Scalia,
And their pals, cops can strip ya and see ya.
They don’t need any reason:
It’s strip searching season.
Our privacy’s gone! Mama mia!
Tags: ACLU, Arrests Limerick, Chief Justice John Roberts, Constitution Verse, Crime & Punishment, Criminal Justice, Invasion of Privacy, Justice Anthony Kennedy, Justice Antonin Scalia, Justice Clarence Thomas, Justice Samuel Alito Jr., Law Humor, Legal Verse, New Jersey, Privacy Humor, Strip Searches, Supreme Court Limerick, Traffic Stop, U.S. Supreme Court
Posted in Constitution Humor, Constitutional Crisis, Crime, Judiciary Satire, Law Satire, Legal Limericks, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Privacy Humor, Supreme Court | 4 Comments »
Sunday, May 23rd, 2010
Alert the authorities: U.S. Supreme Court nominee Elena Kagan has “embraced dowdy as a mark of brainpower.” Moreover, unlike “most women” she doesn’t cross her legs when she’s sitting.
Yes, Washington Post columnist Robin Ghivan is at it again with her sexist political fashion drivel. (I still haven’t recovered from Ghivan’s column about Hillary Clinton’s cleavage.)
Well here’s a news flash for Ms. Ghivan: Any grown woman with half a brain knows that crossing your legs is both uncomfortable and unhealthy. But hey, if you want varicose veins go right ahead.
Robin Ghivan Makes Me Cross (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
If you care about good circulation
And prefer that your feet have sensation,
Then you don’t cross your legs.
Givhan’s column’s the dregs.
Sexist nonsense is Robin’s fixation.
Tags: Circulation, Elena Kagan, Fashion Police, Feminist Satire, Hillary Clinton, Law Satire, Media Humor, Robin Ghivan, Supreme Court Humor, Washington Post, Women's Health
Posted in Elena Kagan, Feminism Humor, Judiciary Satire, Law Satire, Legal Limericks, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Supreme Court | Comments Off on Robin Ghivan Makes Me Cross
Thursday, May 13th, 2010
As the Washington Post’s Valerie Strauss points out, the U.S. Supreme Court is packed with graduates of Harvard Law and Yale Law:
Assuming President Obama wins confirmation of Solicitor General Elena Kagan to the Supreme Court, that august body will be exclusively filled with judges who earned their law degrees at Harvard or Yale.
Strauss thinks such exclusivity is a bad idea and, as you can tell from this limerick, so do I:
Why I’ll Never Be A Supreme Court Justice
By Madeleine Begun Kane
It appears that Supremes have to hail
From the law schools of Harvard or Yale.
My law school’s St. John’s.
That’s just one of my “cons.”
Plus I’m sixty — I might as well bail.
Tags: Education Humor, Elena Kagan, Harvard, Ivy League, Judiciary Humor, Law Degree Humor, Law Satire, Law Schools, Legal Humor, Resume Humor, U.S. Supreme Court, Yale
Posted in Education Limerick, Elena Kagan, Judiciary Satire, Law Satire, Legal Limericks, Personal, Supreme Court | 6 Comments »
Thursday, May 13th, 2010
Apparently, anti-Kagan attacks from the right have been inspiring some liberals to rally around her. But I’m not among them. Not yet, anyway.
Now for all I know, Elena Kagan may be a closet liberal. I sure hope so. But so far there’s little to suggest that Kagan’s any more liberal than President Obama, and that scares me.
Leery About Elena (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
There’s no doubt that Ms. Kagan’s quite smart.
Some say brilliant, but does she have heart?
We’ve a liberal hole.
Will she fill it with soul,
Or tip the court “right” from the start?
Tags: Barack Obama, Elena Kagan, Empathy, Judiciary Humor, Law Satire, Legal Humor, Liberals, Supreme Court Humor
Posted in Barack Obama, Elena Kagan, Judiciary Satire, Law Satire, Legal Limericks, Political Limericks, Supreme Court | 2 Comments »
Tuesday, May 11th, 2010
How amusing! We’ve moved from “Obama’s Katrina” to “Obama’s Harriet Miers.” Yes, wingnutty Republicans are invoking Harriet Miers in discussing Obama’s U.S. Supreme Court nominee Elena Kagan. Sorry, Redstate and the rest of you, the answer to “Will this be President Obama’s Harriet Miers Moment?” is “No!”
That brings me to my latest limerick:
Obama’s What???
By Madeleine Begun Kane
“Obama’s Katrina,” they say.
“Obama’s H. Miers,” they pray.
To the wingnuts give thanks
For reminding the ranks
Of the many ways Bush went astray.
Related Posts: U.S. Supreme Court Humor
Tags: Bush, Elena Kagan, Harriet Miers, Judiciary Humor, Katrina, Law Satire, Legal Humor, Supreme Court Humor, Wingnuts
Posted in Barack Obama, Elena Kagan, George Bush Satire, GOP Humor, Judiciary Satire, Legal Limericks, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Supreme Court, White House, Wingnuts | 6 Comments »
Friday, April 9th, 2010
It’s the end of an era. The great Justice John Paul Stevens has announced his resignation from the U.S. Supreme Court. Here’s a thank you limerick for Justice Stevens:
Obama, Please Aim For Even Stevens
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Great thanks to a judge I admire:
Justice Stevens, alas, must retire.
A supreme loss, indeed!
Please Obama, take heed:
In his place, name a judge who’ll inspire.
Tags: John Paul Stevens, Judiciary Humor, Legal Verse, Obama poem, Supreme Court Limerick, U.S. Supreme Court
Posted in Barack Obama, Judiciary Satire, Law Satire, Legal Limericks, Political Limericks, Supreme Court | 6 Comments »
Tuesday, March 23rd, 2010
How ironic that GOP state leaders are vowing to challenge the Affordable Health Care for America Act in court. For a party that’s always lambasting trial attorneys and activist judges, Republicans sure are litigious:
Republican Trials (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Republicans constantly boo
Trial lawyers. They do it on cue.
For a party that feels
Such attorneys are heels,
The GOP sure likes to sue.
Tags: Activist Judge, GOP Humor, Health Care Reform, Judiciary Humor, Law Humor, Law Satire, Lawsuits, Legislation Satire, Litigation Humor, Republican Hypocrisy, Republicans Humor, Trial Lawyers
Posted in GOP Humor, Health Satire, Hypocrisy Humor, Irony, Judiciary Satire, Legal Limericks, Legislation Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor | 4 Comments »
Tuesday, March 16th, 2010
J.D. Hayworth, in an effort to out-wingnut John McCain in Arizona’s Senatorial primary, is claiming that legalized same-sex marriage can lead to man-horse nuptials. This is what he had to say during his Rick Santorum-like “man on dog” moment:
You see, the Massachusetts Supreme Court, when it started this move toward same-sex marriage, actually defined marriage — now get this — it defined marriage as simply, “the establishment of intimacy.” Now how dangerous is that? I mean, I don’t mean to be absurd about it, but I guess I can make the point of absurdity with an absurd point — I guess that would mean if you really had affection for your horse, I guess you could marry your horse.
Now I’m very happily married to a human male right now. But just in case it doesn’t work out, I think this is wonderful news:
Hayworth’s Marriage Menagerie (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Would you like to be wed to a cat?
Or a horse, or a dog, or a bat?
Or even an ass?
Simply move out to Mass.
Hayworth says it’s okay. So that’s that.
Tags: Animals Satire, Arizona, Bestiality Humor, Gay Marriage, Homosexuality Satire, J.D. Hayworth, John McCain, Judiciary Humor, Law Humor, Massachusetts, Nuptials Humor, Rick Santorum, Same Sex Marriage
Posted in Gay Rights, Homophobia, John McCain, Judiciary Satire, Law Satire, Legal Limericks, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Wingnuts | 6 Comments »
Monday, January 25th, 2010
There’s nothing funny about the U.S. Supreme Court’s activist ruling in Citizens United v. Federal Election Commission. Overruling long-held precedents, it gives corporations free rein to buy political influence, all in the name of “corporate personhood” and “free speech.”
Nor is there anything funny about the hypocrisy of self-described anti-judicial-activism Republicans who laud this calamitous decision.
And, alas, there’s nothing funny about this limerick:
Democracy’s Demise?
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Justice Roberts and co are unbound,
Driving precedents precious aground.
Yet Republicans cheer,
And the sobs that we hear
Are the sounds of democracy drowned.
********
Lance Mannion managed to extract some humor from this judicial travesty.
Tags: Campaign Finance Reform, Citizens United, Corporate Personhood, Democracy, First Amendment, Free Speech, Justice John Roberts, Legal Verse, U.S. Supreme Court
Posted in Campaign Humor, Constitution Humor, Constitutional Crisis, Democracy Humor, Election Satire, FEC Satire, Free Speech, Hypocrisy Humor, Judiciary Satire, Law Satire, Legal Limericks, Political Commentary, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Supreme Court | 3 Comments »
Friday, May 29th, 2009
The National Review’s Mark Krikorian is having problems with Judge Sonia Sotomayor’s name. Apparently, its pronunciation doesn’t sufficiently conform to Krikorian’s Anglo standards. So what’s his solution? He pronounces it any old way he feels like it. And he thinks the rest of us should do the same.
Krikorian argued that the proper pronunciation, preferred by the judge and her family, is “unnatural in English,” and “something we shouldn’t be giving in to.” It wasn’t clear which group of people constituted “we.”
Krikorian added that “newcomers” should “adapt” to how “countrymen say your name.” To do otherwise would be a failure of “multiculturalism.” He knows how to pronounce the Supreme Court nominee’s name, but he doesn’t like it, and would like others to join him in pronouncing it incorrectly.
After catching some well-deserved flack about these comments, Krikorian further embarrassed himself with this:
While in the past there may well have been too much social pressure for what sociologists call Anglo-conformity, now there isn’t enough. I think that’s a concern that most Americans share at some level, which is the root of the angst over excessive immigration, bilingual education, official English, etc.
If anyone deserves a limerick, it’s Mark Krikorian:
Ode To Mark Krikorian
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Pronouncing some names can be tough.
When they’re foreign they’re weird and they’re rough.
Yes, Krikorian’s right.
Krik, they’re really a blight.
So one syllable’s surely enough.
Tags: Bilingual Education, Immigrants, Judiciary Satire, Law Satire, Mark Krikorian, Media, Names, National Review, Pronunciation, Sonia Sotomayor, Supreme Court
Posted in Judiciary Satire, Law Satire, Media Satire, Political Commentary, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Sonia Sotomayor Verse, Supreme Court | 8 Comments »
Wednesday, May 27th, 2009
It’s simple enough to avoid Judge Sonia Sotomayor smear-tweets like these:
White man racist nominee would be forced to withdraw. Latina woman racist should also withdraw.
Imagine a judicial nominee said “my experience as a white man makes me better than a latina woman” new racism is no better than old racism.
Just be sure not to follow Newt Gingrich’s Twitter feed.
If only it were as easy to dodge Newt on TV, in print, and on the Net.
And that brings me to my latest song parody, which you can sing to Hark! The Herald Angels Sing:
Hark! The Disgraced Former Speaker Speaks.
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Hark! The former Speaker speaks.
Headlines, Speaker Gingrich seeks.
News cos eagerly come through.
They don’t care his claims ain’t true.
Gleefully he airs his lies,
Spreading venom, media buys.
Watch the ousted Newt proclaim,
Sonia is just a racist dame.
Darkly, Gingrich spews his views.
Can’t avoid him on the news.
Tags: Judiciary Satire, Latina, Law Satire, Lies, Media, News, Newt Gingrich, Obama Nominees, Racism, Smears, Song Parody, Sonia Sotomayor, Speaker, Supreme Court, Twitter
Posted in Judiciary Satire, Law Satire, Media Satire, Newt Gingrich Humor, Political Commentary, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Sonia Sotomayor Verse, Supreme Court, Twitter | 8 Comments »
Tuesday, May 12th, 2009
President Obama recently used the e-word in connection with his yet-to-be-named U.S. Supreme Court nominee, and the Republicans were (or pretended to be) horrified. Senator Orrin Hatch claimed empathy was a “code word for an activist judge”, while the ever-entertaining Michael Steele said in his inimitable, classy fashion, “I’ll give you empathy. Empathize right on your behind!”
But while many Democrats were outraged by Republican reaction, I’m empathetic enough to appreciate where they’re coming from:
Empathy is such an ugly word:
Injudicious moral flaw.
Empathy is totally absurd
And violates the rule of law.
(With my apologies to Billy Joel)
(My previous (and full length) song parody to this song is here.)
Tags: Activist Judge, Empathy. Republicans, GOP, Judges, Law Satire, Michael Steele, Obama, Orrin Hatch, Supreme Court
Posted in Barack Obama, Constitution Humor, GOP Humor, Judiciary Satire, Law Satire, Michael Steele, Music Humor, Political Commentary, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Song Parodies, Supreme Court | 1 Comment »
Monday, July 14th, 2008
U.S. District Judge Ronald Leighton (Tacoma, Washington) made a big splash recently when he lambasted a legal filing with a limerick. What prompted him to wax poetic? A 465-page complaint in a racketeering lawsuit failed to comply with a federal rule (FRCP 8(a)) requiring legal complaints to be “a short and plain statement of the claim showing that the pleader is entitled to relief.”
Judge Leighton dismissed the complaint and directed attorney Dean Browning Webb to refile it, in an order that included this limerick.
Plaintiff has a great deal to say,
But it seems he skipped Rule 8(a).
His Complaint is too long,
Which renders it wrong,
Please rewrite and refile today.
Although Judge Leighton’s limerick meter is a bit spotty in the first two lines, I think His Honor’s poetic effort deserves a poem in … uh … his honor:
Ode To Judge Ronald Leighton
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Attorneys are often verbose,
Penning legal complaints grandiose,
Writing hundreds pages
And setting off rages
From those who find wordiness gross.
But Judge Leighton showed major restraint
When he ruled on an endless complaint.
In a limerick poem
He said, redo this tome
Cuz in 8(a) compliance it ain’t![tags]Judge Ronald Leighton, FRCP Rule 8(a), Federal Rules Humor, Judicial Humor, Courthouse Verse, Litigation Humor, Racketeering Lawsuit, Poetry, Dean Browning Webb, Legal Complaint[/tags]
Posted in Judge Ronald Leighton, Judiciary Satire, Legal Limericks | 1 Comment »
Saturday, March 22nd, 2008
Jeralyn over at Talk Left has declared Colorado to be a “Nanny State.” Why? Because its Appeals Court has decreed that Colorado no-smoking laws apply to actors on stage.
(Coincidentally, just last night my husband and I saw an Off-Broadway play during which two of the actors smoked. In fact, we got a second-row contact-high from one of them.)
But getting back to the Colorado judiciary, the court deserves a limerick, don’t you think?
Ode To Colorado: Nanny State
By Madeleine Begun Kane
“No smoking on stage!” says the judge,
Cuz “No smoking indoors!” He won’t budge.
So no matter the role,
There’s a no-smoke patrol.
Soon they won’t let their actors eat fudge.
You can find more of my smoking-related humor here and my theater-related humor here.)[tags]Legal Satire, Judge Humor, No-Smoking Humor, Smoking Laws, Theater Humor, Actors Verse[/tags]
Posted in Censorship Satire, Free Speech, Judiciary Satire, Law Satire, Nanny State, Social Satire | Comments Off on Ode To Colorado: Nanny State
GOP Falls Out Of Love With Roberts (Limerick)
Friday, June 29th, 2012Republicans are in shock over the U.S. Supreme Court’s “Obamacare” decision. They’d been so sure they had Justice John Roberts in their pockets, that they’re behaving like betrayed lovers: How dare he side with the liberal wing of the court on the constitutionality question!
Many of them are enraged to the point of irrationality. In fact, even Justice Roberts seems to have noticed the GOP’s “what have you done for me lately” nastiness. He actually joked about going into hiding.
GOP Falls Out Of Love With Roberts (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The decision John Roberts just penned
Has sent ACA foes round the bend.
Up till now he’d promote
All their views with his vote.
Has their Roberts’ romance reached an end?
Tags: ACA, Affordable Care Act, GOP Humor, Health Care Reform, Health Reform, Justice John Roberts, Law Humor, Legal Verse, Obamacare, Republicans Humor, Supreme Court Limerick, U.S. Constitution, U.S. Supreme Court
Posted in Barack Obama, Constitution Humor, GOP Humor, Health Satire, Judiciary Satire, Law Satire, Legislation Humor, Political Commentary, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Supreme Court | 2 Comments »