Archive for the ‘John McCain’ Category
Saturday, August 30th, 2008
Sarah Palin For Veep? I knew John McCain and his Rovian puppet masters were cynical, but this takes the cake.
But hey, I’m a female. So I guess I have to vote for whats-her-name, right? After all, the only reason I was backing Hillary is cuz we’re both female. So naturally, now that Obama’s chosen Biden as his running mate, I must vote for a woman who STANDS FOR EVERYTHING I DESPISE:
Sarah Who???
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Dear Johnny, I can not conceive
What could possibly make you believe
That your anti-choice pick
Could possibly click
With us Hillary-gals. How naive!
You must think that we women are sheep,
Who would swoon at a female for Veep.
But a right-wingnut gal
Who’d control our canal?
Oh, that hole that you’re digging is deep.
Yes, your pick has a beautiful face
And she’ll help you to shore up your base.
But she’s wrong to the core
And (like you) she’s just more
Of Bush/Cheney … with feminine grace.
UPDATE: I’m very pleased that my Robert Benchley Society Humor Award has generated a fair amount of publicity. This article in Gannett’s Journal News is probably the best of the stories. And it has a fun companion video of me reading one of my humor columns.[tags]Sarah Palin, John McCain Humor, Palin Humor, Campaign Satire, Election Humor, Hillary Clinton Verse, Biden Nomination, Obama Poem, Feminist Humor, Gender Satire[/tags]
Posted in Barack Obama, Campaign Humor, Election Satire, Feminism Humor, Gender Politics, Hillary Clinton, Joe Biden, John McCain, Karl Rove, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Sarah Palin, White House | 11 Comments »
Friday, August 22nd, 2008
McCain Thought They Were Asking How Many Combs He Owns
By Madeleine Begun Kane
McCain is confused. Stop the presses!
And if stumped by a query, he guesses.
He’s not up to the task
When this question they ask:
Just how many homes he possesses.[tags]McCain Limerick, John McCain’s Houses, McCain’s Homes, McCain’s Mansions, Elitist McCain, Campaign Satire, Election Humor, Presidential Election[/tags]
Posted in Campaign Humor, Election Satire, GOP Humor, John McCain, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Real Estate Humor | Comments Off on McCain Thought They Were Asking How Many Combs He Owns
Wednesday, August 20th, 2008
The longer this presidential campaign goes on, the more worried I become. And oddly enough, it’s Barack Obama’s much touted communication skills that concern me the most.
Because as good as Obama is at speechifying, that’s how poor he is when he’s responding to questions. It’s the difference between hearing the insightful results of his thought process … and being forced to watch him think.
And that leads me to my latest verse:
Some Friendly Advice For Obama
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Dear Obama, your speeches are great,
Like a confident, smart Head of State.
But when questioned you freeze
And appear ill at ease.
Loosen up or you’ll lose — no debate!
And when queried you need to be clear.
Don’t meander and stutter, you hear?
Cuz you come off evasive
And quite unpersuasive,
While John McCain’s lies sound sincere.
I’ll admit I was never a fan,
And I’m sick of the phrase “Yes we can.”
But I’m begging you, hide
Your pontificate-side,
Else you’ll lose to a confidence man.[tags]Presidential Election, Obama Limerick, Campaign Satire, Election Humor, Head Of State, Campaign Speeches, Press Conference, McCain Limerick[/tags]
Posted in Barack Obama, Campaign Humor, Election Satire, John McCain, Political Commentary, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, White House | 2 Comments »
Thursday, August 14th, 2008
I’m starting to lose track of how many wars John McCain wants us embroiled in. He’s certainly singing a bellicose tune these days, and now you can join in with him to the melody of I’m Popeye The Sailor Man:
McCain’s Bellicose Tune (Sing to I’m Popeye The Sailor Man)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
I’m tougher than nails, I am.
I stand up for Uncle Sam.
The other guy’s weak,
While I’m still at my peak,
Cuz I’m tougher than nails, I am!
I’m one tough contender
Which hates all pretenders
Wot never has grown a pair.
I stiffs ’em and bluffs ’em
And always out-roughs ’em.
Obama won’t get nowhere!
That foolhardy boy’s incurred my wrath.
It’s “Wham” and it’s “Bam,” un’erstan’?
It’s risky behavior
To challenge this Savior.
McCain is the White House Man!
I carry a giant stick.
I’m fast with a verbal kick.
Don’t vote for that lad
Or I’ll really get mad.
Beware of my giant stick!
Obama is just a wuss,
A sweet-talking fraidy-puss.
He looks kind of foreign,
Perhaps Ecuador’an.
Don’t vote for that callow wuss![tags]McCain Song Parody, Campaign Satire, Election Humor, White House Song, Obama Song Parody[/tags]
Posted in Barack Obama, Campaign Humor, Election Satire, Foreign Policy, GOP Humor, John McCain, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Song Parodies, White House | 3 Comments »
Wednesday, July 30th, 2008
I’ll be making a big announcement very soon — probably on Friday. But in the meantime, here’s my Media Sheep, inspired in part by this Carpetbagger Report post: In context, Obama’s humble; but out of context…
Of course, we’ve reached a point at which reality no longer matters. A reporter found an anonymous source who took Obama’s comments out of context, changed the meaning entirely, and all of a sudden, we’re off to the races. As Vincent Rossmeier noted, “Of course, the simple fact that the quote isn’t accurate isn’t going to stop some on the right — and in the media — from using it as fuel for the emerging narrative about Obama.”
Media Sheep
By Madeleine Begun Kane
McCain’s a straight talker.
Ignore all his lying.
Obama is pompous.
He’s humble? Not buying!
That’s the agreed-upon narrative. See?
Facts don’t support it?
So scrap them with glee.
McCain contradicts
All his stated positions.
Just brush this aside.
He’s above all suspicions.
Minor adjustments in views from Barack?
Paint them as flip-flops
And go with the flock.
(For extra points, tell me what song parody this could be turned into with a bit of tinkering.)[tags]John McCain Verse, Barack Obama Poem, Straight Talk, Press Narratives, Flip-Flops, Media Humor, Presidential Campaign Satire, Election Humor[/tags]
Posted in Barack Obama, Campaign Humor, Election Satire, John McCain, Media Satire, Political Commentary, Political Verse, Politics Satire, White House | 3 Comments »
Thursday, July 10th, 2008
John McCain and his economic advisor Phil Gramm should really get their stories straight:
John McCain’s campaign says in their new ad that the economy is “in shambles.” …
In an interview with the Washington Times, Gramm says the economy is in relatively decent shape — and much more.
“You’ve heard of mental depression; this is a mental recession,” he said.
Moreover, Gramm said: “We have sort of become a nation of whiners. …”
Naturally, Gramm blames our “mental recession” on the media. And that brings me to my latest political verse:
Wham! Bam! No Thank You, Phil Gramm!
By Madeleine Begun Kane
We’re “a nation of whiners,” says Gramm.
Our economy’s not in a jam.
It’s a “mental recession,”
This public obsession
With price hikes and jobs on the lam.
So who is at fault? It’s the press.
Yes, says Gramm, they have brought on this mess.
It would seem that reporting
The news isn’t sporting.
Vote McCain for continued “success.” [tags]Phil Gramm, Economy Verse, Media Poem, Campaign Satire, Election Humor, Vote McCain, Mental Recession, Nation Of Whiners [/tags]
Posted in Campaign Humor, Economy Humor, Election Satire, Fiscal Policy, GOP Humor, John McCain, Media Satire, Phil Gramm, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, White House | 2 Comments »
Thursday, June 26th, 2008
I was shocked to learn that John McCain is computer illiterate. Well, I have just the ticket:
Some Friendly Advice For McCain’s Veep Vetting Team
By Madeleine Begun Kane
McCain doesn’t use a PC
Or a Mac, so he needs a VP
Who can act as his tutor
In using a ‘puter
And help with the phone and TV.[tags]McCain’s Campaign, Computer Illiteracy, Campaign Satire, Computer Literacy, Election Humor, Mac Or PC, VP Vetting[/tags]
Posted in Campaign Humor, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Hi Tech Humor, John McCain, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Technology Humor, White House | 1 Comment »
Wednesday, June 18th, 2008
I hope I’m wrong. But I’m concerned that cowed (and confused) Dems may be backing off valid John McCain criticism out of fear of being called ageist.
As some Republicans see it, Democrats are deliberately talking in code about the presumptive 71-year-old GOP nominee as part of an attempt to highlight his age.
…
Obama aides deny any strategy to highlight age, and Obama, 46, himself told reporters last month that age should not be a factor. Indeed, he used to compliment McCain’s “half-century of service” to the country as a Vietnam War veteran and a member of Congress, but after McCain campaign manager Rick Davis argued that it was a sly way to inject age into the debate, Obama dropped the reference in February.
…
But when Obama foreign policy adviser Susan Rice and Sen. John F. Kerry (D-Mass.) each described McCain as “confused” last week, Republicans became convinced that Democrats intend to run a crypto-ageist strategy, using words that create a subtle impression in voters’ minds.
…
But the dynamic of Obama’s running against a candidate who’s a quarter of a century older is nonetheless creating an environment where some Democrats see the need to self-censor, proving that the McCain offensive is already working.
“I was going to say, ‘He lost his grip,’” said Democratic consultant Jonathan Prince, recalling a recent appearance on CNN’s “Situation Room.” “Those are normal words you use when you are involved in campaigns. You say, ‘They are nuts, they are off their rocker, they lost it.’ They have become very adept at grabbing every opportunity they can to turn it into a personal slur.”
The problem with John McCain isn’t his age per se. McCain’s problem is he lacks the wisdom and maturity that ought to come with age.
And that brings me to my latest limerick:
So, Is This Ageist Too?
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Wah, wah, wah! Don’t critique John McCain.
If you do so you’re ageist — Insane!
I think that just maybe
McCain’s a big baby,
Too puerile to win this campaign.[tags]McCain Criticism, Democrats Humor, Campaign Satire, Election Humor[/tags]
Posted in Ageism Humor, Campaign Humor, Election Satire, GOP Humor, John McCain, Political Commentary, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, White House | 2 Comments »
Friday, June 13th, 2008
I can barely type (Damn you, broken wrist!) but feel compelled to mock McCainiac recession-deniers, like Kevin Hassett of the American Enterprise Institute. Apparently, reports of the soaring cost of daily necessities and other bad economic news are “politically motivated pessimism” meant to boost Obama’s candidacy.
Ode To McCainiac Recession-Deniers (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Behold the recession-denier!
As inflation and job loss surge higher,
He will stubbornly claim
Lib’ral press is to blame
For making us think things are dire.[tags]Economy Satire, Election Humor, Campaign Poem, McCainiac, Recession Deniers, Inflation Limerick, Job Loss, Liberal Press, Kevin Hassett, American Enterprise Institute[/tags]
Posted in Barack Obama, Campaign Humor, Economy Humor, Election Satire, John McCain, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor | Comments Off on Ode To McCainiac Recession-Deniers
Friday, April 25th, 2008
The Philly Inq’s Dick Polman really nails it in his must-read post about John McCain’s “artful dance with North Carolina Republican leaders, who have fashioned a low-road, anti-Obama advertisement that is slated to air on statewide TV next Monday.”
Commenting on McCain’s political skills and pseudo-piety, he says:
When it comes time to dish the dirt, he keeps his hands clean as he tut-tuts about the incivility of our politics. He looks good doing it – the Washington press generally loves it when he’s in pious mode on the high road – and, meanwhile, he gets to reap the rewards of the dirt being dished. Why pilot your own Swift Boat when it’s so much more attractive to condemn those who do it for you?
And that’s my cue for my Pious John McCain limerick:
Ode To Pious John McCain
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Watch the press fall for pious McCain,
As he calls for a lofty campaign.
They’re so easily spun,
As his dirty work’s done
With an ad he pretends to disdain.[tags]John McCain Humor, Presidential Campaign Ads, Election Limerick, Media Humor[/tags]
Posted in Campaign Humor, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Hypocrisy Humor, John McCain, Media Satire, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor | 2 Comments »
Sunday, April 20th, 2008
Remember when the entire left blogosphere could be counted on to criticize politicians who said one thing and did the opposite? And when hypocrisy was routinely deconstructed and attacked by the left?
I’m talking about the pre-Obama-cult days, of course. A time when the sort of behavior described here, here, here and here wouldn’t have been countenanced (let alone encouraged) by half the left blogosphere. Those were the days, my friend. (McCain Trademark Pending)
And that brings me to the first of my latest pair of limericks:
Dear Obama, please tell us all why
You keep doing the stuff you decry.
Cuz the “high road” you claim
Sure is littered with shame,
As you peddle your DC change lie.
My second new limerick was inspired by Obama’s slick habit of conflating the GWB and Bill Clinton presidencies by referring to decades in discussing this nation’s problems. Instead of pinpointing the horrendous Bush years, Obama blithely tarnishes the Democratic brand with that plural decades reference.
Why does he do this? Apparently it’s Obama who will do whatever it takes to win. And that includes making sure Hillary doesn’t get credit by association for the relatively prosperous and peaceful Nineties.
That brings me to today’s second limerick:
Obama cites “decades” of ills,
Conflating the Bush years with Bill’s.
He’ll hurt the Dem brand
By playing that hand,
Leading voters to run for the hills.[tags]Barack Obama Hypocrisy, Democratic Brand, Left Blogosphere, Presidential Election Humor, Campaign Satire[/tags]
Posted in Barack Obama, Bill Clinton, Campaign Humor, Election Satire, Hillary Clinton, John McCain, Lefty Blogger News, Political Commentary, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, White House | 3 Comments »
Thursday, April 17th, 2008
What did we learn from last night’s debate? That (unlike Hillary Clinton) Barack Obama falls apart when he finally encounters a hostile press.
As the Philadelphia Inquirer’s Dick Polman observes, Obama was “shaken, rattled and rolled” at the ABC debate. So, is this the kind of candidate you want opposing John “Media Pal” McCain in the general election?
And that brings me to my latest limerick:
Dear Barack Obama: Last Night Is What Happens When You Drink Your Own Kool-Aid
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The man with the tongue made of gold
Under pressure last night seemed to fold.
His supporters excuse him—
Claim press guys abuse him.
Words matter. Barack’s? Oversold![tags]ABC Pennsylvania Presidential Debate, Senator Obama, Election Humor, Campaign Satire, Senator Clinton, Hostile Press, Senator McCain[/tags]
Posted in Barack Obama, Campaign Humor, Debate Humor, Election Satire, Hillary Clinton, John McCain, Media Satire, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Uncategorized, White House | 6 Comments »
Saturday, April 12th, 2008
John McCain has been having a tough time raising campaign money lately. So I thought I’d help out with a McCain campaign slogan haiku — gratis. Aren’t I generous?
Remember Bush’s
Humble foreign policy?
Vote McCain for more. [tags]Senator McCain, Presidential Campaign Verse[/tags]
Posted in Campaign Humor, Election Satire, John McCain, News Haiku & Senryu, Political Haiku & Senryu, Political Verse, Politics Satire, White House | 2 Comments »
Saturday, April 5th, 2008
Wow! Even Don “McCain Worshipper” Imus can’t stand it any more. I just heard Imus tell Craig Crawford:
If he says “my friends” one more time, I’m gonna kill myself.
I think it’s time for a haiku:
A candidate
Who can’t stop saying “my friends,”
Doesn’t have any.
Tags: Election Humor, Campaign Satire, Craig Crawford, Don Imus, Media Humor, My Friends, Presidential Election Humor, Senator McCain
Posted in Campaign Humor, John McCain, Media Satire, News Haiku & Senryu, Political Haiku & Senryu, Political Verse | 4 Comments »
Thursday, March 27th, 2008
Apparently, maverick is a synonym for felon. Who knew?
Ode To John “Maverick” McCain
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A law breaker — that’s John McCain,
Treating FEC regs with disdain.
Having championed those rules,
He plays us for fools.
Yet we still hear the mav’rick refrain.[tags]Senator John McCain Humor, McCain Maverick Satire, Election Humor, Campaign Satire, FEC Humor, White House Humor, Media Humor[/tags]
Posted in Campaign Humor, Election Satire, FEC Satire, John McCain, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, White House | 4 Comments »
Monday, March 24th, 2008
Presidential Election Blues
By Madeleine Begun Kane
While pundits bloviate,
Candidates exaggerate,
Flirt with fourth estate
And would-be running mate.
They travel multi-state,
Wooing pools of voter-bait.
Think the Oval’s their fate.
Hardly ever talk straight.
Their resumes inflate.
They claim opponents don’t rate.
Prez debates? Not great.
November 5th — can’t wait![tags]Campaign Satire, Presidential Election Humor, White House Poetry[/tags]
Posted in Barack Obama, Campaign Humor, Election Satire, Hillary Clinton, John McCain, Political Verse, Politics Satire, White House | 3 Comments »
Wednesday, March 19th, 2008
The left blogosphere has been packed with stories about John “Foreign Policy Maven” McCain’s serial gaffes, in which he confused Islam’s Sunni and Shiite sects while trying to prove Iran supports al-Qaeda in Iraq. His gaffes were so bad, even über-loyalist Joe Lieberman was forced to correct him.
So, can we expect major media columnists and talking heads to question McCain’s foreign policy prowess? A small handful of fair-minded, insightful columnists like the Philadelphia Inquirer’s Dick Polman can be counted on at moments like this. But in the main, I wouldn’t hold your breath.
And that brings me to my latest limerick:
Ode To “Foreign Policy Maven” McCain
By Madeleine Begun Kane
John McCain’s expertise ain’t legit:
Sunni? Shiite? He doesn’t know shit.
So the man should be toast.
But the press let’s him coast
Cuz he’s great in a barbecue pit.
(For more humor on this topic, check out Joe Lieberman Has To Remind McCain He’s Not In Vietnam, by Don Davis.)[tags]Senator John McCain, Foreign Policy Expertise, Sunni, Shiite, Islam, McCain Barbecue, McCain Gaffes, al-Qaeda, Iran, Campaign Satire, Election Humor, Media Humor[/tags]
Posted in Campaign Humor, Election Satire, Foreign Policy, GOP Humor, Iraq War Humor, Joe Lieberman, John McCain, Media Satire, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, White House | 2 Comments »
Tuesday, December 18th, 2007
Calling audience questioners “jerks,” is far from John McCain’s worse flaw. But now that he’s done it at least twice, I thought I’d write the testy, warmongering Senator a limerick:
Ode To John “You Little Jerk” McCain
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Among John McCain’s irksome quirks
Is his habit of calling guys jerks
For presenting a query
Of which John is leery—
Still less galling than George Dubya’s smirks.[tags]Senator John McCain, Presidential Race Humor, Little Jerk, Campaign Satire, Election Humor[/tags]
Posted in Campaign Humor, Election Satire, George Bush Satire, GOP Humor, John McCain, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, White House | 3 Comments »
Monday, April 9th, 2007
On April 1, 2007 U.S. Senators John McCain and Lindsey Graham held a press conference in Iraq, in which Sen. Graham rhapsodized about buying “five rugs for five bucks” in a Baghdad marketplace. This was part of their joint effort to convince the American people that the war in Iraq is going far better than the media would lead us to believe.
And that brings me to my latest limerick:
Merchants Of Hype
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Five rugs for five bucks! What a deal!
Baghdad-shopping for Graham’s quite a steal.
Now I’m sold on the war
Cause I know what it’s for:
It’s to carpet Graham’s home. How surreal!
=========
And now some links, for your reading (and viewing) pleasure:
* Bush U.S. Attorney Disgraced by Appeals Court for Sham Prosecution of Innocent Woman (Buzzflash Analysis)
* Romney’s Fatal Admission: ‘I Hunted Gays Only Twice’
* Mitt Shoots Himself In The Foot
* Caution: Genius At Work
* what are friends for, if not to bomb little upstart arabic countries?
* The Talking Dog Interviews Marc Falkoff, co-counsel to 17 Yemenis held at Guantanamo
* Levin Shows The Dems Cards [tags]Lindsey Graham, Five Rugs For Five Bucks, John McCain, Iraq capitalism, Baghdad Marketplace, Baghdad Shopping, Iraq War Satire, Blog Publicity, Linky Love, Skippy, Don Davis, Shakesville, Booman, OneGoodMove, Levin, Romney[/tags]
Posted in Congress Humor, GOP Humor, Iraq War Humor, John McCain, Lindsey Graham, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Senate Satire | 1 Comment »
Wednesday, October 11th, 2006
Bush is still rejecting the idea of bilateral talks with North Korea, claiming that they failed to work during Bill Clinton’s administration. Meanwhile, Bush’s flame throwing surrogate, John McCain, says North Korea’s nuclear test, conducted nearly six years into Dubya’s presidency, is Bill Clinton’s fault. So, does that mean Monica was Bush Sr.’s fault?
And that brings me to my latest haiku:
The Buck Stops … On Clinton? (Haiku)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
North Korea’s nukes
Are Clinton’s fault, claims McCain.
Bill’s still Prez? Who knew?
Update: Right after John “Straight Talk” McCain’s finger pointing, McCain blasted people for North Korea related finger pointing. [tags]Bilateral Talks, Nuclear Tests, Nuclear Technology, Senator McCain, President Clinton, North Korea Sanctions[/tags]
Posted in Bill Clinton, Blame Game, Congress Humor, Foreign Policy, George Bush Satire, GOP Humor, John McCain, News Haiku & Senryu, North Korea, Nuclear Weapons, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Senate Satire, White House | 2 Comments »
Some Friendly Advice For Obama
Wednesday, August 20th, 2008The longer this presidential campaign goes on, the more worried I become. And oddly enough, it’s Barack Obama’s much touted communication skills that concern me the most.
Because as good as Obama is at speechifying, that’s how poor he is when he’s responding to questions. It’s the difference between hearing the insightful results of his thought process … and being forced to watch him think.
And that leads me to my latest verse:
Some Friendly Advice For Obama
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Dear Obama, your speeches are great,
Like a confident, smart Head of State.
But when questioned you freeze
And appear ill at ease.
Loosen up or you’ll lose — no debate!
And when queried you need to be clear.
Don’t meander and stutter, you hear?
Cuz you come off evasive
And quite unpersuasive,
While John McCain’s lies sound sincere.
I’ll admit I was never a fan,
And I’m sick of the phrase “Yes we can.”
But I’m begging you, hide
Your pontificate-side,
Else you’ll lose to a confidence man.[tags]Presidential Election, Obama Limerick, Campaign Satire, Election Humor, Head Of State, Campaign Speeches, Press Conference, McCain Limerick[/tags]
Posted in Barack Obama, Campaign Humor, Election Satire, John McCain, Political Commentary, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, White House | 2 Comments »