Archive for the ‘John McCain’ Category
Wednesday, November 5th, 2008
Congratulations to Senators Obama and Biden. An historic election has come to a wonderful conclusion:
Celebratory Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Dear Obama, congrats on your win.
You have done it. You’ve won it. You’re in!
Now your job will be tough.
(Please don’t take any guff.)
Let the national healing begin!
Tags: Biden, Campaign, Celebrations, Election, History, Limericks, McCain, Obama, Verse
Posted in 44 Humor, Barack Obama, Campaign Humor, Election Satire, Joe Biden, John McCain, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Sarah Palin | 4 Comments »
Sunday, November 2nd, 2008
An Obsessive’s Lament (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Writing verse about Palin’s been fun.
But enough! I must know who has won.
Although something disturbs me,
Alarms and perturbs me:
Just what shall I do when it’s done?
Tags: Campaign, Election, Election Results, Humor, McCain, Mental Health, Obsession, Obsessives, Palin, Poem, Presidential Election, Satire, Verse, Winners
Posted in Barack Obama, Campaign Humor, Election Satire, John McCain, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Sarah Palin | 1 Comment »
Wednesday, October 29th, 2008
Whenever John McCain is asked about Sarah Palin’s qualifications, he falls back on the paternal-sounding (and condescending) “I couldn’t be more proud” of Palin response. But something tells me he doesn’t use the word “proud” in private:
McCain & Palin: The Not Ready For Prime Time Duo
By Madeleine Begun Kane
There’s a ticket that can’t get along
Cuz the chemistry’s totally wrong.
John may claim to be proud
Of Gov. Palin out loud.
But his eyes say, “Give Sarah the gong!”
Tags: Campaign, Election, GOP, Humor, Limericks, McCain, Palin, Presidential, Prime Time, Republicans Humor, Satire, Verse
Posted in Campaign Humor, Election Satire, GOP Humor, John McCain, Political Limericks, Republicans Humor, Sarah Palin | 1 Comment »
Monday, October 27th, 2008
I’m a bit late on this. But I was amused to read that Joe Klein has suffered the same fate as Maureen Dowd — banishment from the McCain / Palin planes:
Just Call It The McPettiness Express
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Beware of the wrath of McCain.
If you’re mean you’ll be barred from his plane.
You’ll join Klein and Mo Dowd —
That non-patriot crowd.
Wave goodbye to the “straight talk” campaign.
Tags: Campaign, Election, Humor, Joe Klein, Maureen Dowd, McCain, Media, Patriots, Pettiness, Planes, Press, Satire, Straight Talk Express, Transportation
Posted in Campaign Humor, Election Satire, John McCain, Media Satire, Political Limericks, Sarah Palin | Comments Off on Just Call It The McPettiness Express
Thursday, October 23rd, 2008
After seeing Sarah Palin prance around in so much stylish, pricey-looking apparel, I wrongly assumed Alaska was so sort of fashion Mecca. But sorry, Alaska. It turns out that Palin’s $150K wardrobe hails from Saks Fifth Avenue in St. Louis and New York and Neiman Marcus in Minneapolis, all courtesy of the RNC and personal shopper Jeff Larson.
So here’s what I want to know: Does John McCain’s tax plan provide a $150K tax credit for personal shoppers?
Where’s My Personal Shopper?
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Gov. Palin, you’re taking some heat
For your clothing which, granted, is neat.
But with budgets austere
Why wear clothing so dear?
And just who are you calling elite?
Tags: Campaign Satire, Election Humor, Elite, Governor Palin, Jeff Larson, Neiman Marcus, Personal Shopper, Pricey Clothing, Republican National Committee, RNC, Saks Fifth Avenue, Sarah Palin Wardrobe, Senator McCain, Tax Credit
Posted in Campaign Humor, Economy Humor, Election Satire, Fiscal Policy, GOP Humor, John McCain, Political Limericks, RNC Humor, Sarah Palin, Tax & Budget Humor | 1 Comment »
Tuesday, October 21st, 2008
Cool news! Nearly 4000 people submitted haiku to the McPalin Haiku Hysteria contest held by People For The American Way and The Nation Magazine. And I’m one of the twelve finalists!!! So I’d really appreciate your voting for my haiku here. The three winning haiku will be published in The Nation.
We were allowed to submit up to three haiku, and here are the three I submitted. (The first one is the haiku that made the finals.)
Palin knows nothing
About the Constitution.
Puppets don’t have to.
An anti-choice veep
Who opposes free rape kits?
Thanks, John, but no thanks.
Would Palin court picks
Destroy the Constitution?
You betcha! Wink, wink.
Tags: Campaign Satire, Constitution Verse, Election Humor, Haiku Contest, Nation Magazine, Palin Haiku, People For The American Way, PFAW Contest
Posted in Campaign Humor, Constitution Humor, Election Satire, John McCain, News Haiku & Senryu, Political Haiku & Senryu, Political Verse, Sarah Palin | 4 Comments »
Thursday, October 16th, 2008
Sarcastic air-quotes around “health” in “health of the mother”? Who the hell uses sarcastic air-quotes anymore … let alone when referring to women’s health? Big mistake, Senator McCain!
Which reminds me — during last night’s debate I had a revelation about the gravitas-test versus the guy-you’d-enjoy-having-a-beer-with-test. In this year’s election, gravitas-guy (Obama) is also the fellow I’d enjoy having a beer with … if only I liked beer:
Ode To John “Air-Quotes” McCain
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Many voters ask: Whose views are best,
As opposed to the drinking-pal test.
But whichever the measure,
Obama’s my pleasure.
McCain? He’s a cranky old pest.
Tags: Air Quotes, Campaign Satire, Debate Limerick, Drinking Pals, Election Humor, McCain Verse, Mother's Health, Obama poem, Presidential Election, Sarcasm, Women's Health
Posted in Abortion Rights, Barack Obama, Campaign Humor, Debate Humor, Election Satire, Feminism Humor, Gender Politics, Health Satire, John McCain, Social Satire | 2 Comments »
Tuesday, October 14th, 2008
My mother-in-law
Thinks Obama is Muslim —
Likes McCain. Oy vey!
Tags: McCain Verse, Mothers-in-law Humor, Muslim Haiku, Obama Haiku, Relatives Humor, Yiddish Humor
Posted in Barack Obama, General Humor, John McCain, News Haiku & Senryu | Comments Off on Vetting My Relatives (Haiku)
Sunday, October 12th, 2008
A bipartisan legislative panel in Alaska finds Sarah Palin guilty of abusing her executive power. So is Palin contrite? Hahahahaha!
Actually, I’m find it tough to get my head around Palin’s response. (Unlike so many Republicans, I’ve never been any good at holding two contradictory positions at the same time.)
Republican vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin this weekend disregarded an ethics investigator’s finding that she had abused her executive power as Alaska’s governor and instead embraced a second finding in the report to say that she had been cleared of wrongfully firing her state public safety commissioner. …
In a Saturday conference call with Alaska journalists, Palin said she was “pleased to be cleared of any legal wrongdoing … any hint of any kind of unethical activity there.” She denounced the investigation, calling it “a partisan circus.” …
Okay, I’m not positive, but here’s what seems to be the McCain campaign’s official response to the Troopergate ethics violation report:
1) It exonerates her; and
2) If it hadn’t been an Obama-controlled hit job, it would have exonerated her.
My head hurts.
Sarah In Wonderland
By Madeleine Begun Kane
So what is Gov. Palin’s excuse
For the finding of power abuse?
She pretends it ain’t there,
While she claims it ain’t fair,
With the facts playing games, fast and loose.
Tags: Abuse of Executive Power, Alaska Ethics Violation, Campaign Satire, Election Humor, Governor Palin, McCain Campaign, Presidential Election, Troopergate
Posted in Barack Obama, Campaign Humor, Election Satire, GOP Humor, John McCain, Law Satire, Legal Limericks, Political Commentary, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Sarah Palin | 1 Comment »
Thursday, October 9th, 2008
Team Of Liars
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The McCain/Palin team now is rife
With liars, including John’s wife.
So it’s surely no shock
They’re defaming Barack.
As McCain might say: John, get a life!
Tags: Campaign Satire, Cindy McCain, Defamation, Election Humor, Governor Palin, Obama Verse, Presidential Campaign Humor, Senator McCain
Posted in Barack Obama, Campaign Humor, Election Satire, GOP Humor, John McCain, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Sarah Palin | 8 Comments »
Wednesday, October 8th, 2008
Here’s what I learned from the second presidential debate: If (heaven forbid) Election 2008 has to be resolved in court, the title of the case will be McCain v. That One.
Tags: Campaign Satire, Debate Snark, Election Humor, McCain Temper, Obama Debate, That One
Posted in Barack Obama, Campaign Humor, Debate Humor, Election Satire, John McCain, Uncategorized | Comments Off on What I Learned From Last Night’s Obama / McCain Debate
Tuesday, October 7th, 2008
It’s not easy to make Rudy Giuliani look like a class act. But both McCain and Palin have managed to do it quite handily. While Rudy (on at least one occasion) had the decency to chide an audience member for connecting Democrats with terrorists, McCain and Palin apparently feel no such compunction. Why do I say that? Because they greet anti-Obama audience-shouts like “Treason,” “Terrorist!” and “Kill!” with silence.
McCain And Palin Make Rudy Look Like A Class Act
By Madeleine Begun Kane
John McCain, I sure hope that you’re proud:
You and Palin prompt rage in a crowd.
Your supporters shout swill:
“Treason!” “Terrorist!” “Kill!”
Even Rudy would say: Not allowed!
Tags: Campaign Satire, Crowd Rage, Democrats, Election Humor, Giuliani Limerick, McCain Verse, Palin Poem, Presidential Campaign, Senator Obama, Terrorists, Treason
Posted in Barack Obama, Campaign Humor, Election Satire, GOP Humor, John McCain, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Rudy Giuliani, Sarah Palin | 1 Comment »
Tuesday, October 7th, 2008
Ode To Attack Dog Palin (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Palin proudly proclaims “I don’t blink!”
(Doesn’t count when it’s merely a wink.)
She attacks with a smile,
Throwing lies cross the aisle —
Slimes Barack as a terrorist fink.
Tags: Attack Dog Politics, Blinks, Campaign Satire, Election Humor, Obama Verse, Presidential Campaign, Sarah Palin Limerick, Terrorism, Winks
Posted in Barack Obama, Campaign Humor, Debate Humor, Election Satire, John McCain, Political Verse, Sarah Palin, Uncategorized | 1 Comment »
Tuesday, October 7th, 2008
Sarah Palin Passes Her Reading Test
By Madeleine Begun Kane
To those who say Palin was best,
I’ll concede she debated with zest.
But she read off her notes
All night long, so your votes
Are based on an open book test.
Tags: Biden / Palin Debate, Campaign Satire, Debate Notes, Election Humor, McCain's VP Pick, Open Book Tests, Palin Humor
Posted in Campaign Humor, Debate Humor, Election Satire, John McCain, Sarah Palin, Uncategorized | 1 Comment »
Monday, October 6th, 2008
At first, I was amused by John McCain’s bitter-sounding “life isn’t fair” remark.
Asked why Obama has been rising as the Wall Street crisis has dominated attention, McCain said with a chuckle on Fox News Channel: “Because life isn’t fair.”
But on second thought, I’ve decided McCain is right:
Finally, A McCain Statement I Can Agree With
By Madeleine Begun Kane
McCain’s very wrong about war
And on health care and taxes and more.
But he’s right (though it’s rare)
With his “life isn’t fair,”
Cuz what else could explain Bush v. Gore?
Tags: Bush v. Gore, Campaign Satire, Election Humor, Health Care, Legal Humor, Life Isn't Fair, Presidential Election, Senator McCain Humor, Senator Obama, Taxes, War
Posted in Barack Obama, Campaign Humor, Election Satire, George Bush Satire, GOP Humor, John McCain, Law Satire, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Supreme Court | 5 Comments »
Wednesday, September 24th, 2008
John McCain is so scared to debate Obama, that he’s reneged on his Friday debate commitment all in the name of patriotism. Yup — the guy who almost never shows up for Senate votes, is apparently planning to swoop into Washington, fix our fiscal crisis and, only then, resume campaigning and debate. After all, John McCain is such a “country first” kinda guy.
The good news is that Obama isn’t falling for the canceled debate bait.
Did The Dog Eat John McCain’s Debate Notes? (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
This Friday’s debate won’t proceed,
Says McCain, while pretending to lead.
We’ve a crisis at hand.
Country first — his demand.
Be a patriot, John, and concede.
Tags: Campaign Satire, Country First, Election Humor, Fiscal Crisis, McCain Humor, Patriotism Humor, Presidential Debate, Senator Obama
Posted in Barack Obama, Campaign Humor, Debate Humor, Economy Humor, Election Satire, Fiscal Policy, GOP Humor, John McCain, Political Commentary, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor | 3 Comments »
Tuesday, September 23rd, 2008
While Congress is caught up in the Wall Street bail-out proposal, the presidential candidates are preparing for Friday’s foreign policy debate. What will McCain focus on … after boning up on Spain’s location? Working his surge-centric attack on Obama’s judgment into every answer, no matter what the question:
McCain’s Memory Purge
By Madeleine Begun kane
Please beware of McCain’s mem’ry purge.
He was wrong on Iraq, so this scourge
Proves his judgment was poor.
He cheer-led the war
Which did not get its start with the surge.[tags]Campaign Satire, Election Humor, Presidential Debates, Foreign Policy Humor, McCain Limerick, Iraq War, Judgment Humor, Surge Poem[/tags]
Posted in Campaign Humor, Debate Humor, Election Satire, Foreign Policy, GOP Humor, Iraq War Humor, John McCain, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, White House | 1 Comment »
Monday, September 8th, 2008
Great news! I managed to sneak a peek at Sarah Palin’s Barracuda Blog. (It wasn’t easy to do, because she’s almost as secretive about her blog as she is about her email.)
Here’s what she had to say in Entry 1:
Dear Diary,
Sarah Barracuda strikes again … big time! Take that Ms. Hillary RODHAM Clinton!
I always knew I’d end up in the Oval. And that my ovaries would take me there. I even knew it way back when I was in one of the five (or was it six???) colleges I went to for my bachelor’s degree.
I really shouldn’t be writing in my diary right now. I’m supposed to be studying some foreign policy crapola: Joe the Jew (who I’m sure is jealous of me) won’t stop prattling nonsense about the difference between the Sunnis and the Shias. He says Johnny-boy keeps forgetting and it’s gonna be my job to jab him whenever he gets it wrong.
Hell, one jab from me would probably kill him. Not a bad idea, come to think of it. But I probably don’t want to rush things.
Oops! Lieberman just sneaked up on me and started yelling about my diary — he says my calling him “Joe the Jew” is anti-semitic. His point?
Anyway, that just proves he’s jealous. He’s been kissing Johnny-boy’s butt forever and he came thisclose to the Veep pay-off. And then I stole his ball … actually, both of them.
Joe (happy now, Joe?) also just told me I have to study faster cuz some news guy’s interviewing me this week. They were hoping to stall until after the election, but no dice. And the worst part is it’s not even a Fox fella.
Oh well… I’m a fast study (boy is Biden gonna be surprised!) And besides, they tell me the news guy promised to behave.
I guess I’d better put my diary aside for now, and dig into that big pile they have the nerve to call briefing books. Hmmm … I wonder what I should listen to while I study.
Which reminds me — those annoying Heart-girls are bitchin about Barracuda being played at my convention. Hey, if they didn’t want me to use it, they shouldn’t have named it after me.[tags]Sarah Palin Humor, Sarah Barracuda, Republican VP, Campaign Satire, Election Humor, McCain Humor, Lieberman Satire[/tags]
Posted in Barracuda Blog, Campaign Humor, Election Satire, Joe Lieberman, John McCain, Political Commentary, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Sarah Palin, White House | 4 Comments »
Thursday, September 4th, 2008
Dear John McCain:
Thank you, thank you, thank you!
Why am I, a liberal feminist, thanking you with such enthusiasm? Because by naming Sarah Palin to be your running mate, you’ve turned my life around.
I mean (and I say this with all due respect) I could have sworn that Ms. Palin was as unqualified to be Veep as I am. Maybe even less qualified, since I’m a lawyer and she isn’t.
But it turns out I was wrong. Why? Cuz she’s the Governor of Alaska, a state that’s really, really close to Russia.
And, as I’ve learned from you and your current wife, proximity equals expertise. Which means that Governor Palin’s already an expert on Russia. And anything else she needs to know in the foreign policy department she’ll absorb by osmosis, simply by hanging out near your knees.
Speaking selfishly (and who doesn’t?) here’s the coolest part of this whole osmosis thing: Without any additional schooling or training, I have the expertise to do a gazillion hard things I haven’t studied for even an hour. For instance:
1. Heart surgery. (A cardiac specialist lives two houses away, and we say “hi” at least twice a month.)
2. Gourmet cooking. (My home’s within three blocks of over two dozen great restaurants. From the smell alone, I’ve surely picked up culinary chops.)
3. Olympic swimming. (I live in Bayside. Need I say more?)
4. Podiatry. ( I know someone who knows someone who knows Dick Morris. Okay, maybe not podiatry … but certainly pedicures.)
I could go on forever, because osmosis has opened the doors to countless challenging professions. How many? I can’t count that high cuz I don’t know any mathematicians.
But I do want you to know how happy and grateful I am. In fact, I’m so excited, I’m having trouble deciding which high level profession to try out first.
Or maybe I should just wait for my future boss to come to me.
So thanks, Senator McCain. And please stay well … at least until that foreign policy osmosis thing kicks in for Ms. Palin and the pesky Axis of Evil.
Oh … and one more thing: Please keep me in mind if you ever need heart surgery.
[tags]Senator McCain, Governor Palin, Campaign Satire, Election Humor, Running Mate Humor, VP Verse, Veep Vetting, Qualifications Humor, Heart Surgery Humor[/tags]
Posted in Campaign Humor, Election Satire, Gender Politics, John McCain, Political Commentary, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Sarah Palin, White House | 4 Comments »
Tuesday, September 2nd, 2008
How nice that John McCain is finally getting around to vetting his temper-tantrum-inspired, Lieberman/Ridge-rebound Veep pick.
However, despite all the disqualifying details he’s belatedly learning, McCain is unlikely to dump Sarah Palin from the ticket unless he’s forced to. Admitting a mistake in judgment? Not gonna happen. Unless, maybe, it turns out she shot an aging lawyer in the face … and probably not even then.
But hey, at least Palin’s an expert on Russia. Which reminds me — I can’t help wondering if Condi feels foolish about wasting so much time studying up on Russia, when all she really had to do was move to Alaska.
And now it’s time for two limericks:
It appears that McCain failed to vet
A woman he barely had met.
Then he named her for Veep
And now he’s hip deep
In her muck. Yet he feigns no regret.
John’s allies are praisin’ and hailin’
The selection of unprepared Palin.
But will buyers’ remorse
Attack them in force
If McCain ever seems to be ailin’?[tags]Sarah Palin Limerick, John McCain Humor, Campaign Satire, Election Humor, Presidential Election 2008, Lieberman Verse, Tom Ridge Poem. Russian Expert, Alaska Governor, Condi Rice Humor, Vetting Candidates[/tags]
Posted in Campaign Humor, Condi Rice Humor, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Joe Lieberman, John McCain, Political Commentary, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Sarah Palin | Comments Off on Bailin’ On Palin?
Sarah In Wonderland
Sunday, October 12th, 2008A bipartisan legislative panel in Alaska finds Sarah Palin guilty of abusing her executive power. So is Palin contrite? Hahahahaha!
Actually, I’m find it tough to get my head around Palin’s response. (Unlike so many Republicans, I’ve never been any good at holding two contradictory positions at the same time.)
Okay, I’m not positive, but here’s what seems to be the McCain campaign’s official response to the Troopergate ethics violation report:
1) It exonerates her; and
2) If it hadn’t been an Obama-controlled hit job, it would have exonerated her.
My head hurts.
Sarah In Wonderland
By Madeleine Begun Kane
So what is Gov. Palin’s excuse
For the finding of power abuse?
She pretends it ain’t there,
While she claims it ain’t fair,
With the facts playing games, fast and loose.
Tags: Abuse of Executive Power, Alaska Ethics Violation, Campaign Satire, Election Humor, Governor Palin, McCain Campaign, Presidential Election, Troopergate
Posted in Barack Obama, Campaign Humor, Election Satire, GOP Humor, John McCain, Law Satire, Legal Limericks, Political Commentary, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Sarah Palin | 1 Comment »