Headline: “Navy acknowledges request to hide McCain warship”
The Donald’s a delicate flower,
Who readily freaks and turns dour
At the thought of McCain,
So the name of his bane
On a ship makes him shudder and glower.
Archive for the ‘John McCain’ Category
Trump’s McCain-Phobia (Limerick)
Monday, June 3rd, 2019GOP Still Stooping To Trump’s Level (Limerick)
Thursday, March 21st, 2019Donald’s John McCain smears are obscene,
And pettiness spews from his spleen.
Yet few GOPers
Denounce him, as fleers
From decency sink to his mean.
Dishonorable Donald (Limericks)
Monday, August 27th, 2018I rarely agreed with McCain,
And his votes gave me cause to complain.
But Trump NEVER was fit
To clean John McCain’s shit,
So how DARE he treat John with disdain!
**********
I never supported McCain.
My vote McCain never did gain.
But compared to the rest
Of his party, with zest
(Even dead) my support he’d attain.
Open Limerick To Orrin Hatch
Monday, May 7th, 2018Headline: “Hatch says it’s ‘ridiculous’ for McCain to block Trump from funeral”
Dear Senator Hatch, if McCain
Wants his funeral Trump-free, refrain
From poking your nose
In what the man chose.
It is hardly your place to complain.
Trump’s GOP Critics (Limerick)
Wednesday, October 25th, 2017“Republican Pols Lashing Out
At Trump.” That’s the headline they tout.
But it’s only some guys
Who’ve concluded it wise
Not to run again. Hardly a rout!
Has McCain Lost His Mind? (Limerick)
Thursday, June 8th, 2017John McCain, have you lost your connection
To sound reason? Your would-be deflection
Makes it look like you think
Hill belongs in the clink
For colluding to lose the election.
The View From Trump’s Tweets (Limerick)
Thursday, February 9th, 2017In the last couple of days, Trump’s been tweet-storming complaints about Senators McCain and Blumenthal, as well as Nordstrom.
So, what’s Trump outraged about (besides the media and the courts?)
1) Sen. McCain criticized Trump’s disastrous Yemen raid.
2) Sen. Blumenthal accurately quoted Judge Gorsuch’s relatively mild criticism of Trump’s anti-judge tweets.
3) Nordstrom dropped Ivanka’s clothing and shoe lines because they aren’t selling well.
How dare they!
Meanwhile, where’s Trump’s outrage at Kellyanne Conway over her blatant violation of federal ethics regulations? Where’s the angry Trump tweet condemning Conway for illegally hawking Ivanka’s products from the White House on a Fox News interview?
Conway’s breach was so egregious, that it was even strongly condemned by Republican Chairman of the House Oversight Committee Jason Chaffetz:
“That was wrong, wrong, wrong,” Chaffetz told NBC News’ Alex Moe. “It is wholly unacceptable — no if, ands or buts about it.” Chaffetz said that he was drafting a bipartisan letter with his Democratic counterpart Elijah Cummings demanding an explanation from the White House.
Yet all we’ve gotten so far is a namby-pamby statement by Sean Spicer, that Trump Counselor Conway “has been counseled.”
John McCain’s raid-remarks made Trump mad.
So did Blumenthal’s Gorsuch quotes. Sad!
Yet Donald seems fine
When his aides cross the line,
As with Conway’s Ivanka-brand ad.
R U Proud Of Yourself, McCain? (Limerick)
Thursday, September 19th, 2013After the New York Times published Putin’s op ed column, Senator McCain decided to one-up him by writing an opinion piece for Pravda (the official paper of the Russian Communist Party.) Unfortunately, he didn’t realize there are two Pravdas. Even more unfortunately, McCain ended up being published in the wrong Pravda.
Pravda.ru, the news outlet that actually published McCain’s piece, is an electronic news website founded in 1999. Even though the website also bears the name Pravda, it is not connected to Pravda newspaper. The website has English and Russian editions and covers everything from politics to fashion and celebrities.
R U Proud Of Yourself, McCain? (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
There’s someone on John McCain’s staff
Who made an embarrassing gaffe:
His haste he shall rue—
Pravda-r-u won’t do
For a piece by McCain. What a laugh!
John McCain — Ignoramus, Liar, Or Terrorist Sympathizer?
Wednesday, May 5th, 2010My husband Mark and I live in New York City and frequently dine and see plays in the Times Square area. In fact, had the two of us not been so exhausted from our Las Vegas vacation, that’s where we probably would have been Saturday night. Perhaps that’s why I’m especially offended by John McCain’s apparent desire to undermine the prosecution of alleged terrorists.
What am I talking about? McCain said it would be a “serious mistake” if car bombing suspect Faisal Shahzad, a naturalized American citizen, was Mirandized.
I’m sorry, but the only way Mirandizing Shahzad would be a mistake is if your goal is to taint the evidence, get it thrown out of court, and lose the damn case.
And that brings me to my latest two-verse limerick:
John McCain — Ignoramus, Liar, Or Terrorist Sympathizer?
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Shahzad was Mirandized. Oh my!
Cue McCain and his pandering lie.
To warn him was wrong—
That’s McCain’s specious song.
He malpractices law on the fly.
For Miranda’s a citizen’s right.
Fail to warn him? You’re in for a fight.
Cuz evidence gotten
That way is deemed rotten.
Acquittal is what you invite.
Ode To John “Pants On Fire” McCain
Monday, April 5th, 2010Dear Senator McCain: Pretending to be a maverick is bad enough. But pretending that you never pretended to be a maverick? That’s just silly!
Yes, it’s hard to believe, but McCain’s response to J.D. Hayworth’s primary challenge from the right is to say, “I never considered myself a maverick.” Of course, that would be a bit more convincing had McCain not, among other things, released a 2008 presidential campaign ad calling himself the “original maverick.”
That brings me to my latest two-verse limerick:
Ode To John “Pants On Fire” McCain
By Madeleine Begun Kane
There once was a man named McCain,
The Republicans’ “maverick” bane.
He wore the term proudly
And touted it loudly.
But now it’s a primary pain.
So he’s claiming he never did use it,
Though we know that he’d often abuse it.
But he’s feeling the sting
Of the nutty right-wing,
So with lies he’s attempting to lose it.
Addled Threats
Monday, March 22nd, 2010Now that health reform has passed, Republicans are angrier than ever. Mitt Romney calls it an “unconscionable abuse of power” and Bill Kristol is urging repeal in a Weekly Standard editorial. Moreover, Senators John McCain, Judd Gregg and their fellow GOPers are so incensed that they’ve come up with a very creative threat:
GOP senators emerged Monday to caution that the health debate had taken a toll on the institution, warning of little work between parties the rest of this year.
“There will be no cooperation for the rest of the year,” McCain said during an interview Monday on an Arizona radio affiliate. “They have poisoned the well in what they’ve done and how they’ve done it.”
Wow! The next thing you know, Republicans will be vowing to filibuster and obstruct.
And that brings me to my latest limerick:
Addled Threats
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The GOP’s angry as hell.
Says McCain, Dems have “poisoned the well.”
So the rest of the year
We won’t work with them here.
And how is that diff’rent? Do tell!
********
I proud to say that this post is mentioned in the excellent
Health Wonk Review: Special Edition On Health Reform.
J.D. Hayworth’s Marriage Menagerie
Tuesday, March 16th, 2010J.D. Hayworth, in an effort to out-wingnut John McCain in Arizona’s Senatorial primary, is claiming that legalized same-sex marriage can lead to man-horse nuptials. This is what he had to say during his Rick Santorum-like “man on dog” moment:
You see, the Massachusetts Supreme Court, when it started this move toward same-sex marriage, actually defined marriage — now get this — it defined marriage as simply, “the establishment of intimacy.” Now how dangerous is that? I mean, I don’t mean to be absurd about it, but I guess I can make the point of absurdity with an absurd point — I guess that would mean if you really had affection for your horse, I guess you could marry your horse.
Now I’m very happily married to a human male right now. But just in case it doesn’t work out, I think this is wonderful news:
Hayworth’s Marriage Menagerie (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Would you like to be wed to a cat?
Or a horse, or a dog, or a bat?
Or even an ass?
Simply move out to Mass.
Hayworth says it’s okay. So that’s that.
Ode To Pro-Rape Republicans
Friday, October 9th, 2009Thirty Senate Republicans voted to keep rape victims who work for defense contractors from having their day in court. How? By voting against an Al Franken-proposed amendment to the 2010 Defense Appropriations Bill that would withhold defense contracts from companies (like Dick Cheney’s KBR) “if they restrict their employees from taking workplace sexual assault, battery and discrimination cases to court.”
Franken was inspired to sponsor this amendment by the ordeal of Jamie Leigh Jones, who was gang-raped by her co-workers while working for Halliburton/KBR in Baghdad. A clause in Jones’ KBR employment contract made employer-friendly private arbitration her only recourse, precluding Jones from seeking justice in court.
I hope all those pro-rape Republicans (listed below my limerick) are proud of themselves:
Ode To Pro-Rape Republicans (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Though Republicans yearn for support
From females, they’re bound to fall short:
Their position on rape
Is in criminal shape
Cuz they treat it like less than a tort.
Here’s the list of the thirty pro-rape Republican Senators:
Lamar Alexander (R-TN) John Barrasso (R-WY) Christopher Bond (R-MO) Sam Brownback (R-KS) Jim Bunning (R-KY) Richard Burr (R-NC) Saxby Chambliss (R-GA) Tom Coburn (R-OK) Thad Cochran (R-MS) Bob Corker (R-TN) John Cornyn (R-TX) Mike Crapo (R-ID) Jim DeMint (R-SC) John Ensign (R-NV) Michael Enzi (R-WY) Lindsey Graham (R-SC) Judd Gregg (R-NH) James Inhofe (R-OK) Johnny Isakson (R-GA) Mike Johanns (R-NE) Jon Kyl (R-AZ) John McCain (R-AZ) Mitch McConnell (R-KY) James Risch (R-ID) Pat Roberts (R-KS) Jeff Sessions (R-AL) Richard Shelby (R-AL) John Thune (R-SD) David Vitter (R-LA) Roger Wicker (R-MS)
Ode To Fresh Faces
Friday, May 8th, 2009Ode To Fresh Faces
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Republican planning is plain.
They want to rebrand, they explain.
So on Sunday’s TV
New faces we’ll see:
Folks like Cheney and Newt and McCain.
A Tragic Limerick Ode To John McCain
Sunday, December 19th, 2010If John McCain hadn’t done quite so much damage to our nation, I could almost feel sorry for him. After all, it’s hard not to pity a man who’s turned into a pathetic shell of a human being.
McCain’s Don’t Ask Don’t Tell repeal temper tantrum is only the latest example of the sad, ugly person that McCain’s become:
A Tragic Limerick Ode To John McCain
By Madeleine Begun Kane
John McCain seems embittered and mean,
Acting worse than a badly raised teen.
His convictions? No more!
Just conniptions galore.
He’s lost heart, and he’s left with just spleen.
Tags: DADT, John McCain, Military, Republicans Humor, U.S. Senate
Posted in Don't Ask Don't Tell Humor, Gay Rights, John McCain, Legislation Humor, Military Humor, National Security Humor, Political Commentary, Political Limericks, Publicity Hounds, Republicans Humor, Senate Satire | 7 Comments »