Archive for the ‘Joe Biden’ Category

Applauding Mayor Pete (Limerick)

Sunday, March 1st, 2020

I’m bracing for the angry comments likely to come my way:

Mayor Pete, thanks for ending your race.
Though it isn’t your time, you’re an ace.
By shrinking your lane,
The “Stop Bernie” train
Might succeed — that’s the challenge we face.

Law-Flouter in Chief (Limerick)

Thursday, October 3rd, 2019

Headline: “Trump Just Committed More High Crimes on the White House Lawn”

For his upcoming ’20 campaign,
Trump solicited help from Ukraine.
China too, as we’ve seen
Right in public! Trump’s keen
To flout laws for his personal gain.

One Crime Too Many? (Limerick)

Wednesday, September 25th, 2019

Trump’s a knave who has gone way too far.
(So too, has his pal AG Barr.)
An impeachment is nigh.
There’s no choice, and here’s why:
Trump behaves like a tyrant and czar.

Open Limerick To Joe Biden

Wednesday, June 12th, 2019

I joked, yesterday, that because Biden called Trump an “existential threat,” dictionaries were bracing for the existential threat of site crashes.

But apparently I’m not quite through with the topic. So here’s my limerick:

Dear Joe: Dumping Donald’s essential.
His evil’s widespread — pestilential.
He’s a “threat existential,”
His wrongs, consequential.
But the use of big words? Unprudential!

Open Limerick To Joe Biden

Tuesday, April 2nd, 2019

Dear Joe Biden, I liked you as Veep,
But it’s clear that you simply can’t keep
From invading the space
Of gals. It’s off-base,
And the price of such action’s now steep.

Trump v. Biden (Limerick)

Wednesday, February 6th, 2019

Trump to anchors, as quoted by the New York Times’ Peter Baker:

When I say something that you might think is a gaffe, it’s on purpose; it’s not a gaffe. When Biden says something dumb, it’s because he’s dumb.

When you think I am making a gaffe,
It’s on purpose to make people laugh.
But Biden is dumb,
Which explains much or some
Of the lame things he says — at least half.

Press Biding Its Time Till It Gets Serious About The Issues (2-Verse Limerick)

Tuesday, October 20th, 2015

Anyone else sick of the breathless “will he or won’t he” Biden stories? Well, not to be outdone by all that foolishness, the Washington Post “inadvertently published” a website story under this headline: “Biden to launch a presidential campaign.”

Biden cov’rage is dumb as it gets:
Now the Washington Post sends regrets
For its story proclaiming
Joe’s running. It’s blaming
A “technical glitch.” Cool your jets!

Most journos don’t bother to air
Real issues. That’s work they can’t bear!
Seems their duties they’re ceding.
Instead they keep feeding
Us nonsense. So reader beware!

Open Limerick To Joe Biden

Sunday, October 4th, 2015

I’m so sick of these headlines: “Will he or won’t he? Biden still trying to decide.”

Look, I really like (and sympathize with) Joe Biden. But it’s time to shit or get off the pot.

Dear Joe, it is time to decide.
When you hedge, you help others divide
Our great party, which needs
To get out of the weeds
And ensure that a Dem does preside.

A Heavenly Quote (Limerick)

Friday, March 21st, 2014

While discussing Obamacare and the Healthcare.gov roll-out, Biden said Obama deserves sainthood. Now this strikes me as a trifle excessive. On the other hand, Joe Biden is a humorist’s godsend.

A Heavenly Quote (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Dear Veep Biden, your lack of restraint
Is often amusing and quaint.
But you’ve gone overboard
(Don’t you think — Oh my lord!)
In calling Obama a saint.

Limerick Ode To Mitt “Sore Loser” Romney

Wednesday, November 14th, 2012

Mitt “Sore Loser” Romney doesn’t use the word “bribes” in rationalizing his loss to his donors, but he sure comes mighty close:

A week after losing the election to President Obama, Mitt Romney blamed his overwhelming electoral loss on what he said were big “gifts” that the president had bestowed on loyal Democratic constituencies, including young voters, African-Americans and Hispanics.

In a conference call on Wednesday afternoon with his national finance committee, Mr. Romney said that the president had followed the “old playbook” of wooing specific interest groups — “especially the African-American community, the Hispanic community and young people,” Mr. Romney explained — with targeted gifts and initiatives.

If I understand Romney correctly, winning votes because of policies that benefit the middle class, minorities, and the poor is bad. But winning votes and tons of donor cash because of policies that will make rich people even richer is just fine and dandy. So glad we cleared that up.

Limerick Ode To Mitt “Sore Loser” Romney
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Mitt Romney is sore-loser cross,
Blaming targeted “gifts” for his loss.
Mitt in essence describes
Good programs as bribes
To Blacks, Youths, Hispanics. What dross!

Open Limerick To Angry Republicans

Monday, November 12th, 2012

Open Limerick To Angry Republicans
By Madeleine Begun Kane

The Republicans rail round the clock:
“How on earth was Mitt beat by Barack?”
They have theories galore,
But they need just one more:
It’s the policies, stupid! Take stock!

Yay! (Celebratory Limerick)

Wednesday, November 7th, 2012

Congratulations to Barack Obama and Joe Biden on their reelection! And yes, it was a mandate.

Yay! (Celebratory Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

There’s a thrill in the air. Can you feel it?
Prez Obama has won — can’t repeal it!
The fight was a tough one—
A falsehood-filled rough one.
But despite tries to steal it, Dems seal it.

P.S. Nate Silver was right.

Limerick Ode To Joe (the “Brawler”) Biden

Friday, October 12th, 2012

Arguments about Social Security and Medicare aside, there’s good news for Senior Citizens in both the Biden/Ryan debate and the Obama/Romney debate: In each instance, the old guy won — Big Time!

Limerick Ode To Joe (the “Brawler”) Biden
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Debating Paul Ryan, Joe won.
Moreover, he won by a ton:
Tough and energized, quick,
Biden pierced Ryan’s schtick.
Prez Obama, now THAT’S how it’s done.

Romney’s Fact-Free Universe Isn’t Healthy (Limerick)

Thursday, October 11th, 2012

Mitt Romney, who continues to lie about covering pre-existing conditions, seems to live in a fact-free universe. Here’s what he told the Columbus Dispatch yesterday:

We don’t have people that become ill, who die in their apartment because they don’t have insurance.

Well, if 26,100 deaths per year is the same as zero deaths, then Romney’s correct:

More than 26,000 working-age adults die prematurely in the United States each year because they lack health insurance, according to a study published ahead of a landmark U.S. Supreme Court ruling on President Barack Obama’s healthcare reform law.

The study, released on Wednesday by the consumer advocacy group Families USA, estimates that a record high of 26,100 people aged 25 to 64 died for lack of health coverage in 2010, up from 20,350 in 2005 and 18,000 in 2000.

That makes for a rate of about 72 deaths per day, or three per hour.

The nonprofit group based its findings on data from the U.S. Census Bureau, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, and a 2002 Institute of Medicine study that showed the uninsured face a 25 percent higher risk of death than those with coverage.

Romney’s Fact-Free Universe Isn’t Healthy (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Mitt Romney says nobody dies
For lack of insurance. He lies!
Three work-age adults
Die per hour — the results
Of no health plan. With Mitt that will rise.

*****
Political Haiku of the Day:

The debate’s on soon.
I’m sure hoping Joe Biden’s
less nervous than I.

Celebratory Limerick

Wednesday, November 5th, 2008

Congratulations to Senators Obama and Biden. An historic election has come to a wonderful conclusion:

Celebratory Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Dear Obama, congrats on your win.
You have done it.  You’ve won it.  You’re in!
Now your job will be tough.
(Please don’t take any guff.)
Let the national healing begin!

Sarah Who???

Saturday, August 30th, 2008

Sarah Palin For Veep? I knew John McCain and his Rovian puppet masters were cynical, but this takes the cake.

But hey, I’m a female.  So I guess I have to vote for whats-her-name, right?  After all, the only reason I was backing Hillary is cuz we’re both female. So naturally, now that Obama’s chosen Biden as his running mate, I must vote for a woman who STANDS FOR EVERYTHING I DESPISE:

Sarah Who???
By Madeleine  Begun Kane

Dear Johnny, I can not conceive
What could possibly make you believe
That your anti-choice pick
Could possibly click
With us Hillary-gals.  How naive!

You must think that we women are sheep,
Who would swoon at a female for Veep.
But a right-wingnut gal
Who’d control our canal?
Oh, that hole that you’re digging is deep.

Yes, your pick has a beautiful face
And she’ll help you to shore up your base.
But she’s wrong to the core
And (like you) she’s just more
Of Bush/Cheney … with feminine grace.

UPDATE: I’m very pleased that my Robert Benchley Society Humor Award has generated a fair amount of publicity. This article in Gannett’s Journal News is probably the best of the stories.  And it has a fun companion video of me reading one of my humor columns.[tags]Sarah Palin, John McCain Humor, Palin Humor, Campaign Satire, Election Humor, Hillary Clinton Verse, Biden Nomination, Obama Poem, Feminist Humor, Gender Satire[/tags]

Kristol-izing Feminism

Sunday, August 24th, 2008

So Bill Kristol’s a feminist.  Who knew? Yes, William Kristol, Republican con man, is oh so terribly concerned about the glass ceiling perpetuated by Barack Obama when he chose Joe Biden for his running mate, denying Hillary Clinton her shot at Veep.

I’m touched.  Aren’t you?

Kristol-izing Feminism (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Bill Kristol is outraged that Hill
Ain’t the Democrats’ Veep pick. Dear Bill,
Your concern about gender
Would strike me as tender
If phonies did not make me ill.