Donald’s pulling out all of the stops,
Treating tanks and our troops just like props;
Using taxpayer cash,
He’s subverting this bash
To flex his tyrannical chops.
Trump’s despoiling the 4th; he’s hell-bent
On saluting himself; this event
Is to boost reelection.
He fears our rejection.
Let’s make sure that to prison he’s sent.
I have failed, despite numerous tries
To concoct some good holiday lies
For April the First.
But with Donald we’re cursed,
And the President’s lies take the prize.
Those poor evergreen trees have been dyed!
They’re the pigment of blood, though they tried
To maintain their true shade.
Putin-red? They need aid!
I’m afraid they are fit to be tied.
Headline: “Trump says he’s thankful for making a ‘tremendous difference in this country'”
Even people whose life seems to suck
Act grateful today. Some thank luck.
Some thank friends, fam’ly, God.
But a narcissist — odd —
Like Prez Trump thanks himself. What a schmuck!
*****
Alternate, Non-Thanksgiving Holiday Version:
Even people whose life seems to suck
Express gratitude. Some thank their luck.
Some thank friends, fam’ly, God.
But a narcissist — odd —
Like Prez Trump thanks himself. What a schmuck!
Very early in my legal career, I worked for a law firm that represented Trump’s father’s real estate company. Consequently, I had some dealings with the Donald. Hence this limerick:
It’s hard for the Donald to hire
A lawyer; his plight’s become dire.
In fact, things are so bad
That he tweeted me: “Mad,
Please come back. Get me out of my mire.”
I’m avoiding the April Fools’ fuss
Cuz I’d rather just glower and cuss;
Dour Donald’s in power
And life has grown sour.
It seems that the joke is on US!
Sometimes you see a column title and feel certain that the piece is satirical. Such was the case when I stumbled upon Gerald Skoning’s Wall Street Journal op-ed: We’ve Got Labor Day. Why Not Corporation Day?
The subtitle of what turned out to be a dead serious opinion piece is even more nauseating: It’s high time we honored the industrialist pioneers, business barons and tycoons—the job creators—of our nation.
Limerick Ode To … Corporation Day???
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Gerald Skoning’s found something to rue:
Corporations ain’t getting their due.
Though we celebrate labor,
Each corporate neighbor
Is picked at and dissed. Boohoohoo!
In case all those ads haven’t clued you in, Presidents Day is nearly here. To celebrate, I’ve written a pair of clerihews for would-be presidents Mitt Romney and Rick Santorum. What’s a clerihew? A whimsically biographical four-line poem, more fully described here.
Willard Mitt Romney
Has wealth that’s omni.
But he’s stiff as a yoke.
Kindly give that man a toke.
*****
Ricky Santorum
Loves his forum.
Being prez is his quest
In a knit sweater vest.
(My set of eight Eight 4-Liners For The Initial Republican Contenders is here.)
Just in time for Thanksgiving, here’s one turkey of a term:
A Turkey Of A Term (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The term of the day has no charm,
And for some it can cause some alarm.
It’s a spot in the gov
Filled with patronage love.
Have you guessed what I mean? “Turkey Farm.”
Note: According to Taegan Goddard’s Political Dictionary, a “Turkey Farm” is a “government agency or department staffed primarily with political appointments and other patronage hires.”
I posted this Halloween Haiku on Facebook yesterday, but forgot to post it here:
Who needs Halloween?
I get my share of horror
from Republicans.
Today, May 13th, is the first Friday the 13th of 2011, which makes it Blame Someone Else Day. I thought I’d celebrate it with a tanka (a haiku plus two more seven-syllable lines).
Blame Someone Else Day:
Annual celebration,
with one exception —
the Republican Party
commemorates it daily.
UPDATE: The next Blame Someone Else Day will happen in just eight months on Friday, January 13, 2012. So mark you calendars! If you don’t and you miss it, you’ll only have yourself to blame.
If you follow only my political humor, here’s some of what you’ve missed on my humor blog:
What Do Jews Do On Christmas? A Limerick Explanation
We Jews Need A Christmas Limerick, STAT!
No Hallelujahs Here For Handel’s Messiah
Haiku Or Senryu, That Is The Question
Mad Kane (Madeleine Begun Kane) is a writer, musician, and "recovering lawyer." She won the Robert Benchley Society Award For Humor and enjoys writing limericks, song parodies, and current events haiku.
You can email her at madkane@madkane.com, visit her non-political humor blog, or stop by her home page.
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