A resolution
for GOPers to try:
Stop Being Such Dicks!
Nixing worthy laws
To preserve filibuster?
Hope for us busted.
Donald Trump invents
Conditional Endorsement:
“Avenge me, or else!”
Archive for the ‘Filibuster Humor’ Category
Political Haiku Trio 2
Saturday, January 1st, 2022Joe Manchin’s Quest (Limerick)
Wednesday, June 23rd, 2021Opinion Headline: “Joe Manchin’s ‘help wanted’ ad: 10 reasonable Republicans”
Manchin’s quest is for something that’s rare:
10 Republicans, decent and fair.
While I wish Manchin luck
And admire his pluck,
He’ll be stuck in the muck of despair.
Joe Manchin’s Fantasy (Limerick)
Sunday, June 6th, 2021Headline: “Fox News’ Chris Wallace Confronts Joe Manchin Over ‘Being Naive’ About Bipartisan Cooperation”
How can Manchin remain so deluded?
Were he lucid, he SHOULD have concluded
That bipartisanship
Is a fantasy trip
That will leave Biden’s vision denuded.
Limerick Ode To Harry “Big Talker” Reid
Monday, April 8th, 2013Once again, Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid is making threats about filibuster reform — this time with noise about the “nuclear option.” All I can say is: Blah, blah, blah!
Limerick Ode To Harry “Big Talker” Reid
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Harry Reid is again voicing threats
To reform Senate rules. Oh yes, let’s!
But his words have no stock,
As Republicans block
Most Dem action — abuse Reid abets.
Bacon’s Crusade Ain’t Kosher (Limerick)
Friday, February 8th, 2013Here’s a headline I could have done without: “Bill would define abortion as murder.”
State Rep. Rob Bacon believes abortion is murder and he wants the Iowa Code to reflect that.
Bacon, R-Slater, and eight other Republicans introduced such a bill in the Iowa House Wednesday. It would alter the definition of a person in murder cases to “an individual human being, without regard to age of development, from the moment of conception, when a zygote is formed, until natural death.”
Those charged with murder, under the bill, would include a mother who takes abortion-inducing drugs or a doctor who performs an abortion. It also grants no exceptions for rape, incest or to protect the life of the mother.
Bacon’s Crusade Ain’t Kosher (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
If an Iowa Rep has his way
Women’s rights will yet further decay.
Zygote-rights will be greater
Than gals’, as pols cater
To nuts. Will he fail? Let us pray.
Limerick Ode To Tom Harkin
Monday, January 28th, 2013Here’s a headline I sure didn’t want to read: Veteran Iowa Sen. Tom Harkin to retire after the 2014 elections.
Harkin, a staunch liberal who advocated for serious filibuster reform, announced his retirement very shortly after Sen. Harry Reid caved and made a pathetically week filibuster “reform” deal with Sen. Mitch McConnell.
While I’m no mind reader, I’m betting the two are connected.
Limerick Ode To Tom Harkin
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Tom Harkin is stepping aside.
His loss will be hard to abide.
I blame Reid, cuz he blew
His big chance for some true
Filibuster reform, which has died!
Limerick Memo To Republican Parents
Friday, May 25th, 2012Memo To Republican Parents of College-Age Children: When federal student loan rates double this July, you’ll only have yourselves to blame:
Senate Republicans filibustered a bill to extend the current interest rate on federal student loans, blocking an extension from moving forward by a vote of 51-43 (with 60 votes needed to advance the bill). They blocked a similar effort earlier this month. Without an extension, interest rates will double in July from 3.4 percent to 6.8 percent.
Limerick Memo To Republican Parents
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Sen. Republicans live in a bubble,
Untroubled that loan rates will double:
They repeatedly block
A Dem bill that would lock
In low rates, treating students like rubble.
Limerick Ode To Ben Nelson
Thursday, December 29th, 2011Why would anyone, other than a Republican, lament “centrist” Senator Ben Nelson’s decision not to run for reelection?
Limerick Ode To Ben Nelson
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Ben Nelson won’t run again. Great!
He took stands that were easy to hate:
Helped Republicans halt
Senate votes. Oy gevalt!
He’s a DINO. There’s just no debate.
Ode To An Obstructionist
Friday, March 5th, 2010As you undoubtedly know, Senator James Bunning (R-Kentucky) is retiring at the end of the year … and none too soon. Embittered and unstable, Jim Bunning seems determined to inflict as much damage as possible during his final months in office.
The immediate crisis caused by “Bunning’s Blockade” is now over, and unemployment benefits and other payments blocked by Bunning’s obstruction are back in the pipeline.
Not that Bunning’s finished making trouble. He also placed a blanket hold on all pending presidential nominees.
Why? Because he felt like it.
I do believe Bunning’s earned himself a limerick:
Ode To An Obstructionist (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Republican Senator Bunning
Seems senile and evilly cunning.
On his way out the door
He’s done damage galore.
But at least he’s not once again running.
“No-Man” Joe
Saturday, December 5th, 2009When it comes to health care reform, Joe Lieberman is acting like a petulant baby: “Wah, wah, wah! Dump the public option, or I filibuster. So there!”
I don’t know whether Lieberman’s doing this because he’s owned by insurance companies or because he wants to punish Democrats. But it’s clearly not out of conviction. Otherwise, he could surely keep his rationale straight: Joe’s up to seven nonsensical reasons … and counting.
“No-Man” Joe (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
“Public option’s no good,” asserts Joe.
“Want my health reform vote? It must go.”
But his stated objections
Keep changing directions.
Joe’s mantra on health? “Just say no!”
Related Posts: A Limerick For Traitor Joe; and The Ballad Of Joementum Joe Lieberman.
Ode To Senator Judd “Majority Rules, Except When It Doesn’t” Gregg
Thursday, September 3rd, 2009New Hampshire’s Senator Judd Gregg, a big “majority rules” fan back when Republicans held the majority, has suddenly become a minority rights advocate. I just can’t imagine why.
Way back when, Gregg was enthused about using filibuster-proof reconciliation rules to pass ANWR drilling legislation:
… “The point, of course, is this: If you have 51 votes for your position, you win,” Gregg told his Senate colleagues on the floor.
He added, “Reconciliation is a rule of the Senate (that) has been used before for purposes exactly like this on numerous occasions… Is there something wrong with majority rules? I don’t think so.”
Responding to the argument that it’s wrong to use reconciliation on a domestic oil drilling measure, Gregg concluded, “We are using the rules of the Senate as they are set up to be used, and that happens to be the rule of the Senate.”
Of course now that there’s a Democratic majority, Gregg has a rather different opinion and is leading the Republican fight against passing health care reform under reconciliation rules:
Sen. Judd Gregg has hundreds of procedural objections ready for a healthcare plan Democrats leaders want to speed through the Senate.
Gregg (N.H.), the senior Republican on the Budget Committee, told the Hill in a recent interview that Republicans will wage a vicious fight if Democrats try to circumvent Senate rules and use a budget maneuver to pass a trillion dollar healthcare plan with a simple majority. […]
Gregg said that Republicans could file “hundreds” of points of order objections to the bill, each one requiring 60 votes to waive.
“We are very much engaged in taking a hard look at our rights under reconciliation,” Gregg said. “It would be very contentious.”
And that brings me to my latest limerick:
Ode To Senator Judd “Majority Rules, Except When It Doesn’t” Gregg
By Madeleine Begun Kane
“Majority rule is just great,”
Said Gregg in the drilling debate.
“You’ve got 51 votes,
Then you win.” Check his quotes.
Yet 51 Dem votes don’t rate.
Related Posts: Open Limerick To President Obama; Republicans Were For “Death Panels” Before They Were Against Them; Tantrum Politics; and Waterloo Lies
Hey Republicans, Go Filibuster Yourselves! (Updated)
Saturday, February 7th, 2009It looks like the Senate may end up passing a stimulus bill that’s smaller (spending-wise), larger (tax-cut-wise), and far less likely to work than the bill passed in the House.
I don’t know about you, but I’m sick and tired of Senate Democrats letting Republicans blackmail them with the mere threat of a filibuster. Here’s a thought: Instead of caving in to GOP demands, how about telling them to go filibuster themselves?
Find out if they’re bluffing. Make them work for all those concessions. Let the American public see GOP venality and obstructionism in action!
And that brings me to my latest verse:
Hey Republicans, Go Filibuster Yourselves!
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Dear Republicans, stop all your bluster—
Your obstructionist taunt: “Filibuster!”
Just go through with your threat.
Dems, please make these guys sweat,
And we’ll see what support they can muster.
I am betting they don’t have the numbers,
That they’re bluffing. (Dems let them — the bumblers.)
But majority rules
When they don’t act like fools.
Dems, we need a good bill. Don’t be fumblers!
(Updated first paragraph for clarity.)
Ode To “Traitor” Joe Lieberman (Updated)
Friday, November 7th, 2008Now that the Democratic Senate majority has grown so much, Harry Reid plans to strip Joe Lieberman of his Homeland Security Committee chairmanship, even if Joe continues to caucus with the Democrats. Sounds great to me! (Update: Lieberman’s chairmanship status will be determined by a secret Democratic Senate caucus vote on November 18th.)
Of course, Lieberman thinks Reid’s being mean and unfair. Cuz apparently Dems are supposed to just look the other way after Lieberman disses Obama and campaigns enthusiastically for McCain, Palin and down-ticket Republicans.
Joe’s even intimating that he may caucus with the Republicans. Well I, for one, say good riddance, and I hope Harry Reid (and his fellow Dems) stick to their guns. Lieberman can’t be trusted to back Dems when it comes to filibusters, so who needs him?
And now it’s time for a limerick:
Ode To “Traitor” Joe Lieberman
By Madeleine Begun Kane
“Traitor” Joe is distressed — I don’t care.
He deserves to be stripped of his chair.
Cuz when push comes to shove
He shows Lieberman-love.
Mitch can take him … and buyer beware!
Yet Another Filibuster Song Parody (The Full-a-Bluster Song)
Tuesday, July 17th, 2007Remember when the Republican majority flipped out at the mere whisper of the word filibuster? Remember when GOPers led by Bill Frist, Mitch McConnell, and Trent Lott threatened the “nuclear option” if Democrats had the audacity to filibuster any of George Bush’s extremist judicial nominees?
Those were heady days back then, when Republicans would scream “Up or down vote!” and decry Democrats as “obstructionists,” and the media would obediently parrot their condemnations. Oh yes … and the Democrats caved and failed to filibuster, giving us a whole slew of rightwingnut federal judges who will haunt us for many decades to come.
Well now that the Republicans are the minority party they just love the filibuster and have conveniently forgotten that they ever condemned it.
Back when filibusters were “bad,” I wrote a filibuster song parody to the French-Canadian children’s song Alouette. Somehow it seems like a good time for a new set of lyrics to the same tune:
The Full-a-Bluster Song
By Madeleine Begun Kane
“Filibuster.
Ban the filibuster!”
Ancient bluster
from the GOP.
With a Dem majority
Republicans think differently:
“Great device!
Ain’t it nice.
Blocks Dem bills!
They’re all on ice.”
Oh…
Filibuster
Suddenly has luster.
Grand Old Party’s
Hack Hypocrisy.
(You can find more of my political song parodies here.)[tags]Filibuster, GOP Hypocrisy, Trent Lott, Mitch McConnell, Bill Frist, Song Parody, Republicans, Iraq War, Nuclear Option, Up Or Down Vote, Obstructionism, Judicial Nominees[/tags]
Addled Threats
Monday, March 22nd, 2010Now that health reform has passed, Republicans are angrier than ever. Mitt Romney calls it an “unconscionable abuse of power” and Bill Kristol is urging repeal in a Weekly Standard editorial. Moreover, Senators John McCain, Judd Gregg and their fellow GOPers are so incensed that they’ve come up with a very creative threat:
Wow! The next thing you know, Republicans will be vowing to filibuster and obstruct.
And that brings me to my latest limerick:
Addled Threats
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The GOP’s angry as hell.
Says McCain, Dems have “poisoned the well.”
So the rest of the year
We won’t work with them here.
And how is that diff’rent? Do tell!
********
I proud to say that this post is mentioned in the excellent
Health Wonk Review: Special Edition On Health Reform.
Tags: Congress Satire, GOP Humor, Health Care Reform, Health Insurance, John McCain, Judd Gregg, Legislation Satire, Mitt Romney, Republicans Humor, Senate Humor, Weekly Standard, William Kristol
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