Archive for the ‘Election Satire’ Category

Liz Cheney: Chip Off The Old Crock

Saturday, March 6th, 2010

A right-winger has to go pretty far to be criticized by both the left and the right. But Liz Cheney and her Keep America Safe organization have managed to do it with their McCarthy-like attacks on U.S. Justice Department lawyers, smearing and demonizing them as terrorist sympathizers for their previous legal work defending Gitmo detainees.

This brings me to my latest two-verse limerick:

Liz Cheney: Chip Off The Old Crock
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Has Cheney gone stark raving mad?
I’m speaking of Liz — not her dad.
Now even some peers
Are attacking her smears
As McCarthy-like. Talk about sad!

When her natural allies cry foul,
She’s applying her lies with a trowel.
If she fails to give in
And fess up to her sin,
She’ll end up with a Dick Cheney scowl.

Related Posts: Liz Cheney’s Song and Ode To The Deceitful Cheneys

Senator Bayh, Buh Bye!

Monday, February 15th, 2010

Senator Evan Bayh (Pretend-Dem-Indiana) has announced that he won’t seek reelection this year. The conserva-Dem’s stated reason? Partisan gridlock is blocking progress.

While this is being viewed as a huge loss for Democrats and a great pick-up op for Republicans, I sure won’t miss Blue Dog Bayh. His so-called moderation and his unrelenting push for compromise with uncompromising Republicans has been a large impediment to passing progressive legislation.

And that brings me to my latest limerick:

Senator Bayh, Buh Bye!
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Sen. Bayh will not run again. Why?
Cuz there’s “not enough progress.” How wry!
He says partisanship
Is the cause. Here’s a tip:
Our problem is DINOS like Bayh.

Ode To Weak-Kneed Democrats

Monday, January 25th, 2010

In the wake of the Massachusetts election debacle, I keep naively expecting Democrats to wake up and smell the need to stop acting like patsies.

Any minute now (I tell myself) Dems under Obama’s leadership will call a halt to the futile act of making nice with Republicans (and Blue Dogs) and will start pursuing a truly progressive agenda.

But, alas, Democrats seem to have learned exactly the wrong lesson from losing Ted Kennedy’s Senate seat to a Republican.

And that brings me to my latest limerick:

Ode To Weak-Kneed Democrats
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Dear Obama and co are you nuts?
Or did someone abscond with your guts?
If you act like you’re weak
All your power will leak,
Hurling Dems out of town on their butts.

     

********

Some related posts from Think Progress, Common Dreams, Susie Madrak, and Steve Benen.

Ode To Odious Corporate Personhood

Monday, January 25th, 2010

There’s nothing funny about the U.S. Supreme Court’s activist ruling in Citizens United v. Federal Election Commission. Overruling long-held precedents, it gives corporations free rein to buy political influence, all in the name of “corporate personhood” and “free speech.”

Nor is there anything funny about the hypocrisy of self-described anti-judicial-activism Republicans who laud this calamitous decision.

And, alas, there’s nothing funny about this limerick:

Democracy’s Demise?
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Justice Roberts and co are unbound,
Driving precedents precious aground.
Yet Republicans cheer,
And the sobs that we hear
Are the sounds of democracy drowned.

     

********

Lance Mannion managed to extract some humor from this judicial travesty.

Joe “Vote 60” No Mo’

Wednesday, January 20th, 2010

I’ve been searching for a positive note in the Massachusetts election debacle and its effect on health care reform and Obama’s agenda. And I’ve finally found the one up side to Democrat Martha Coakley’s upset loss to Republican Scott Brown:

Joe “Vote 60” No Mo’ (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Joe Lieberman’s blue — in a pout.
Massachusetts has cost him some clout:
Mr. “Me-Me-My-Mine”
Now just “Vote 59.”
Dems are screwed with his vote or without.

Al-Qaeda Talking Points?

Tuesday, January 12th, 2010

Are prominent right-wingers acting as unpaid PR agents for al Qaeda, in their zeal to undermine Obama?

In a word — yes! After all, the purpose of terrorism is to scare people into overreaction. So when GOP attack dogs like Dick Cheney, Liz Cheney, Michael Steele, Bill Kristol, Pete King, Pete Hoekstra, Jim DeMint and countless others characterize a failed terrorist attack as a success and try to terrify the public, they are unwittingly helping al Qaeda.

That leads me to my latest limerick:

Al-Qaeda Talking Points?
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Dear Michael and Peter and Dick,
Your Obama vendetta is sick.
Cuz behavior like yours —
Turning flops into scores —
Creates fear, which makes terrorists tick.

Dressing Down The President

Wednesday, December 16th, 2009

Removing the Medicare buy-in from the Senate health reform bill (to appease Senator Lieberman) was the last straw for Howard Dean. Dean says, “Kill the Senate Bill,” and I’m inclined to agree:

This is essentially the collapse of health care reform in the United States Senate. And, honestly, the best thing to do right now is kill the Senate bill and go back to the House and start the reconciliation process, where you only need 51 votes and it would be a much simpler bill.

I blame President Obama for this health reform fiasco. For it’s Obama who empowered Joe Lieberman to blackmail the Senate and hold health reform hostage.

And that brings me to my latest double limerick:

Dressing Down The President
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Dear Obama, your job is to lead.
You have failed. So has Senator Reid.
Seems you’d sign any swill
Labeled “health reform bill,”
And then brag that we’ve got what we need.

Yes, you’ve tragic’ly blown your great chance.
So spare us the song and the dance.
Though many will swear
You’ve done much for our care,
I am sorry — the prez has no pants.

Dick Cheney’s Steno Pool (Updated)

Wednesday, December 2nd, 2009

Somebody please explain why the garbage and lies spewed by Richard Cheney are routinely treated like they’re gospel. Dick makes George W. Bush look like a statesman, for heaven sakes. And yet media outlets love to present the former Veep’s vicious distortions and malicious rants virtually without challenge.

The latest example is Politico’s regurgitation of Cheney’s lengthy tirade against President Obama. A tirade, I might add, made on the eve of Obama’s Afghanistan troop buildup speech at West Point.

Politico deserves a double limerick, don’t you think?

Dick Cheney’s Steno Pool (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Dear Politico, kindly explain
Why you act like Dick Cheney is sane.
You repeat all his lies
Like they’re truthful and wise.
Your stenography’s worse than inane.

Richard Cheney has harmed our great nation.
Yet you act like each Cheney quotation
Is golden and true,
Worth transcribing on cue.
You’re not journos — you just take dictation.

UPDATE: Unbelievable! Apparently the Pulitzer Board is fond of Cheney’s steno pool. It just elected Jim VandeHei, executive editor and co-founder of Politico, to the Pulitzer Board. Can a Pulitzer Prize for Drudge be far behind?

Related Posts: Ode To Fresh Faces; and Bush & Cheney’s Blunderland Song Parody

Testy Republicans

Monday, November 30th, 2009

By now you’ve surely heard about the GOP’s proposed conservative “purity test,” a ten-point litmus test advocated by James Bopp Jr. and others to weed out party “undesirables.”

Under this test (Reagan’s Unity Principle for Support of Candidates), if you’re not right-wing enough to pass muster on at least eight of ten position points, you forfeit RNC support.

How ironic and amusing that Ronald Reagan, the “purity test’s” namesake, couldn’t come close to passing it.

And that brings me to my latest double limerick:

Testy Republicans
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Some Republicans want to ensure
That all of its members are pure:
Wrong on 3 of 10 planks?
Then it’s “Sorry, no thanks,”
Cuz you’re lacking in wingnut allure.

So how odd that their “God” would not pass
This purity test — what a gas!
Reagan’s record is clear:
He would fail, were he here.
Yet he’s Prez nonpareil, under grass.

Celebrating Sarah

Thursday, November 5th, 2009

On behalf of my fellow New Yorkers, I want to thank Sarah Palin for her generous gift to the State of New York. Palin’s leadership in driving moderates like Dede Scozzafava out of the Republican party handed New York Democrats a Congressional Seat (District 23) that had eluded Dems for well over a century.

Thanks also to Dick Armey for his help in electing Democrat Bill Owens. (I understand Conservative Party candidate Doug Hoffman has a big, wet kiss for Dick Armey too.)

And now it’s time for a limerick:

Celebrating Sarah
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Dear Sarah, your meddling is great.
I just love what you did to my state.
Your GOP purge
Will make Democrats surge
As you spread anti-moderates hate.

Ode To Party-First Republicans

Sunday, October 11th, 2009

Remember when you could tell the difference between right-wing loons and your average Republican politician? Unfortunately, that distinction is rapidly vanishing. And Republican reaction to 1) Obama’s Nobel Peace Prize win; and 2) Chicago’s failure to land the Olympics are but two recent examples.

Ode To Party-First Republicans (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

When the Prez wins a prize, wingnuts sneer.
When we lose the Olympics, they cheer.
“Country first,” they once said.
Seems that sentiment’s dead.
If Barack killed bin Laden, they’d jeer.

Newt’s Bilingual Newspeak

Tuesday, September 29th, 2009

Newt Gingrich, you’ve got some ‘splainin’ to do! Please tell me how someone who has repeatedly railed against bilingualism can launch a bilingual website. The Americano, a news site for Hispanic-Americans, is a transparent effort to lure memory-impaired Latinos over to the GOP.

A two-verse limerick in honor of the hypocritical Newt Gingrich:

Newt’s Bilingual Newspeak
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Here’s a long-standing view from the right:
Education bilingual’s a blight.
That’s how Newt has opined.
Dearest Newt, changed your mind?
Quite the pander — your bilingual site.

Guess you’re hoping Latinos forget
Your stance that bilingual’s all wet,
That they’ll vote GOP.
But Latinos shall see
Through your bilingual lies on the Net.

Related Posts: Hark! The Disgraced Former Speaker Speaks; and Ode To Fresh Faces

Translating Sarah

Sunday, July 5th, 2009

Why does Sarah Palin need to be Alaska’s governor, when she has Facebook?

Translating Sarah
By Madeleine Begun Kane

The media’s mean, so I quit:
(That’s the message that Palin has writ.)
And you don’t need a title
To do something vital.
I’m betting she runs against Mitt.

Flailin’ Palin

Sunday, July 5th, 2009

Help! I can’t keep those Republican governors straight. For instance, why is Sarah Palin giving up her Alaska Governor gig? Some sort of wildlife scandal involving “dead fish” and a “lame duck?”

Flailin’ Palin (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Political blogs are atwitter
With news of Gov. Palin, the quitter.
Is it scandal or plans
To join prez also-rans?
Once aglitter, she’s GOP litter.

An Alpha-Political Farewell to Bush and Cheney

Tuesday, January 13th, 2009

Back in 2004 I summed up George Bush’s first term in my Alpha Politics. So it seems only appropriate to do the same for the Bush-Cheney second term. (Most of the links point to one of my satirical posts on the topic.)

A is for Jack Abramoff who’s big in pay-to-play.

B’s for greedy bankers who have fleeced the USA.

C is for Sen. Craig who isn’t gay, except in bed.

D is for democracy which Dubya hasn’t spread.

E’s for the economy which George and Dick destroyed.

F’s for filibuster. You need merely say the “woid”.

G’s for Giuliani who is 9-1-1 obsessed.

H is for hypocrisy — the right-wing does it best.

I is for impeachment which Bush/Cheney sure deserve.

J’s for Joe The Plumber — right-wing symbol. What a nerve!

K is for Ms. Kennedy, the would-be New York Sen.

L is for Joe Lieberman, the worst of traitor men.

M’s for John McCain who zigged and zagged till he was hoarse.

N is for Ralph Nader who is still without remorse.

O is for O’Reilly — shuts up those who disagree.

P is for Gov. Palin who has “saved” the GOP.

Q is for the air quotes placed by John on mother’s “health.”

R is for recession — say goodbye to all your wealth.

S is for Gov. Spitzer. Prostitution did him in.

T is for the terrorists, now savoring their win.

U is for the USA, on life support right now.

V is for the victor. Prez Obama take a bow.

W’s for the White House left by Bush in disarray.

X is for the X’ing out of Bush regs any day.

Y’s for “Yes, we can,” Barack Obama’s sanguine creed.

And Z’s for right-wing zealots who methinks are off their feed.

“Traitor Joe” Wasn’t Disloyal Enough? (Haiku)

Tuesday, November 18th, 2008

The Dems cave and give Joe Lieberman a meaningless punishment. What a surprise!

Democrats hand Joe
A tiny slap on the wrist.
Thumbs down to the Dems.

Ode To “Traitor” Joe Lieberman (Updated)

Friday, November 7th, 2008

Now that the Democratic Senate majority has grown so much, Harry Reid plans to strip Joe Lieberman of his Homeland Security Committee chairmanship, even if Joe continues to caucus with the Democrats.  Sounds great to me! (Update: Lieberman’s chairmanship status will be determined by a secret Democratic Senate caucus vote on November 18th.)

Of course, Lieberman thinks Reid’s being mean and unfair.  Cuz apparently Dems are supposed to just look the other way after Lieberman disses Obama and campaigns enthusiastically for McCain, Palin and down-ticket Republicans.

Joe’s even intimating that he may caucus with the Republicans.  Well I, for one,  say good riddance, and I hope Harry Reid (and his fellow Dems) stick to their guns.   Lieberman can’t be trusted to back Dems when it comes to filibusters, so who needs him?

And now it’s time for a limerick:

Ode To “Traitor” Joe Lieberman
By Madeleine Begun Kane

“Traitor” Joe is distressed — I don’t care.
He deserves to be stripped of his chair.
Cuz when push comes to shove
He shows Lieberman-love.
Mitch can take him … and buyer beware!

Celebratory Limerick

Wednesday, November 5th, 2008

Congratulations to Senators Obama and Biden. An historic election has come to a wonderful conclusion:

Celebratory Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Dear Obama, congrats on your win.
You have done it.  You’ve won it.  You’re in!
Now your job will be tough.
(Please don’t take any guff.)
Let the national healing begin!

An Obsessive’s Lament

Sunday, November 2nd, 2008

An Obsessive’s Lament (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Writing verse about Palin’s been fun.
But enough!  I must know who has won.
Although something disturbs me,
Alarms and perturbs me:
Just what shall I do when it’s done?

McCain & Palin: The Not Ready For Prime Time Duo

Wednesday, October 29th, 2008

Whenever John McCain is asked about Sarah Palin’s qualifications, he falls back on the paternal-sounding (and condescending) “I couldn’t be more proud” of Palin response.  But something tells me he doesn’t use the word “proud” in private:

McCain & Palin: The Not Ready For Prime Time Duo
By Madeleine Begun Kane

There’s a ticket that can’t get along
Cuz the chemistry’s totally wrong.
John may claim to be proud
Of Gov. Palin out loud.
But his eyes say, “Give Sarah the gong!”