Archive for the ‘Election Satire’ Category

Sarah “Send Cash” Palin (Limerick)

Friday, September 23rd, 2011

Sarah Palin will apparently do anything to keep her name in the news … and the money flowing in:

Alaska Republican Sarah Palin is “on the verge of making her decision of whether or not to run for office” – and her backers should write a check right away, a letter from her political action committee says.

Sarah “Send Cash” Palin
By Madeleine Begun Kane

I need money to help me decide,
Says a woman I can not abide.
I’m referring to Palin—
Ex-Gov known for bailin’.
Let your non-gift be Palin’s best guide.

Limerick Ode To “Regular Guy” Romney

Thursday, September 22nd, 2011

According to the New York Times, Mitt Romney is using Twitter to depict himself as a “regular guy.” So if you want to know what fast food Romney fancies, or what low-fare flights he has taken, be sure to follow Mitt’s Tweets.

Limerick Ode To “Regular Guy” Romney
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Mitt Romney’s a regular guy:
Subways, burgers, and sometimes a fry
Are the foods that he eats.
(You can tell by his Tweets.)
And I’m betting he never eats Thai.

Political Haiku Trio

Tuesday, September 13th, 2011

As pandering pols
romance the Tea Partiers,
they imbibe madness.

*****

Tea Party blood lust:
Leave uninsured man to die —
GOP scares me.

*****

Republican pols
cater to greedy donors—
putting people last.

*****

(For more haiku, check out Sensational Haiku Wednesday.)

Limerick Ode To Astrotweeters

Friday, September 9th, 2011

The astrotweet — yet another reason not to believe (or spread) those political tweets littered all over Twitter:

The research on astrotweeting, though too tangential to my book, is worth flagging for readers. In this paper, the authors describe how political operatives set up fake accounts to spread rumors or false statements about candidates. This is done in a way to make it appear as though the information is coming from numerous sources, to convey the impression that the information is reliable.

Limerick Ode To Astrotweeters
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Political op’rative geeks
Use various sneaky techniques.
They spread lies via tweets:
Astrotweeting — those cheats
Should be jailed for their libelous leaks.

My Email To Obama’s Campaign

Saturday, September 3rd, 2011

I got an info@barackobama.com campaign email & replied with this limerick. I plan to do this from now on, every time I get an email from Barack Obama’s presidential campaign. Feel free to use my limerick in the same way:

Limerick Ode To A Failed Presidency
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Dear Obama, I’ve had it — you’ve failed.
It was time to be strong, but you bailed.
The Dems needed “bold.”
But instead you got rolled.
You’ve undermined all that we hailed.

Open Limerick To President Obama

Wednesday, August 31st, 2011

Rumor has it that Obama is belatedly concerned about his base:

Open Limerick To President Obama
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Dear Obama, how nice that you’ve noted
Your “base” is now far less devoted.
You took us for granted—
No longer enchanted!
In our hearts and our minds you’re demoted.

Limerick Ode to Rick “Bad Debater” Perry

Wednesday, August 31st, 2011

Certain media people are doing Rick Perry a huge favor by lowering the bar with tales of Perry being a lousy debater.

Limerick Ode to Rick “Bad Debater” Perry
By Madeleine Begun Kane

When press people lower the bar,
They enable a pol to go far.
Exceed expectations,
Then get more ovations,
And become a political star.

Limerick Ode to Michele “Just Joking” Bachmann

Monday, August 29th, 2011

The current crop of Republicans is notoriously callous, and Michele Bachmann is no exception. Here’s what she said about Hurricane Irene and other natural disasters:

“I don’t know how much God has to do to get the attention of the politicians. We’ve had an earthquake; we’ve had a hurricane. He said, ‘Are you going to start listening to me here?’ Listen to the American people, because the American people are roaring right now. They know government is on a morbid obesity diet, and we’ve got to rein in the spending.”

Of course, her campaign is now claiming “Bachmann Spoke ‘In Jest’ When She Said God Was Communicating Via Earthquakes And Hurricanes.”

Limerick Ode to Michele “Just Joking” Bachmann
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Irene was a message from God,
Said Michelle in a right-wingnut nod.
Then she claimed she was jesting,
Cuz bad press was cresting.
That loon as our Prez? Then we’re scrod.

Limerick Ode To Rick “Fed Up With My Book!” Perry

Tuesday, August 23rd, 2011

When a candidate tries to distance himself from, say, his doctoral thesis, or a book written a dozen years ago, this passes the straight-face test.

But when Rick Perry tries this with Fed Up! (a book published last fall) it’s hard not to laugh out loud.

Perry’s problem, of course, is that his book is packed with extreme positions, too radical even for his own Republican party. So Perry’s campaign would have us believe that Perry’s Social Security is unconstitutional position from last year is no longer operative. The same goes for his call to repeal the 16th amendment and replace income taxes with a national sales tax.

Limerick Ode To Rick “Fed Up With My Book!” Perry
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Dear Perry, that book you’d disclaim
Was written by you — you’re to blame.
And it’s new — ink’s not dry.
Yet you’re wondering why
We’re on to your radical game.

Hunting For Pro-Science Republicans (Limerick)

Saturday, August 20th, 2011

Luckily for Obama, Jon Huntsman is way too sane to snag the Republican Presidential nomination. For instance, on Sunday’s THIS WEEK with ABC’s Jack Tapper, Huntsman deplores the Republican Party’s anti-science drift:

HUNTSMAN: I think there’s a serious problem. The minute that the Republican Party becomes the party – the anti-science party, we have a huge problem. We lose a whole lot of people who would otherwise allow us to win the election in 2012. When we take a position that isn’t willing to embrace evolution, when we take a position that basically runs counter to what 98 of 100 climate scientists have said, what the National Academy of Science – Sciences has said about what is causing climate change and man’s contribution to it, I think we find ourselves on the wrong side of science, and, therefore, in a losing position.

Huntsman is certainly right about this disturbing trend. And that leads me to my latest limerick:

Hunting For Pro-Science Republicans
By Madeleine Begun Kane

The scientists can’t be believed,
And scholars sure leave them aggrieved.
Don’t trust any source—
That’s the GOP course:
Calling facts they don’t like ill-conceived.

Limerick Ode To Rick Perry

Wednesday, August 17th, 2011

Texas Gov. Rick Perry has sure had a busy few days. Not only has he thrown himself into the Republican presidential contest, but he’s threatened Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke with violence and accused him of treason. And let’s not forget this beaut: Perry implied that President Obama isn’t “in love” with America. That’s pretty nervy, coming from a fellow who’s touted Texas secession.

Limerick Ode To Rick Perry
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Dear Perry, to threaten the Fed
With vi’lence ain’t good for your cred.
And throwing around
The word treason ain’t sound
For secession proponents. ‘Nuff said.

Limerick Ode To 10th Amendment Hypocrisy

Wednesday, August 3rd, 2011

I’m constantly running into Tenth Amendment states’ rights hypocrisy, most often concerning abortion rights and same sex marriage. Texas Governor Rick Perry is but the latest example: He’s now calling for a constitutional amendment banning same-sex marriage and abortion.

Limerick Ode To 10th Amendment Hypocrisy
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Gov. Perry’s a fan of states’ rights:
10th amendment — he loves its delights.
But gay marriage? Abortion?
Please brace for contortion:
He’d smite them through federal fights.

Limerick Ode To Timid Mitt Romney

Thursday, July 28th, 2011

Not only does Mitt Romney have a bad habit of flip-flopping on issues, but he appears afraid to pick a position on the key issue of the day — the debt ceiling. Does he embrace John Boehner’s debt ceiling plan? Nobody knows (except maybe Mitt’s hairdresser) because Romney refuses to commit:

Limerick Ode To Timid Mitt Romney
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Dear Romney, it’s time to take heed:
The job of a leader’s to lead.
So for once be a man:
Do you back Boehner’s plan?
Not choosing’s a cowardly deed.

I’m Not A Betting Person, But…

Tuesday, June 28th, 2011

Up until today, I was pretty convinced that Sarah Palin wouldn’t enter the Republican presidential primary race. I figured she’s enjoying her new-found ability to parlay celebrity into wealth. And that she’s making way too much green to be bothered with the hard job of campaigning for president.

But there’s another type of green — the envy kind. And I can’t help but think that Michele Bachmann’s early success may be tempting Palin to steal back the limelight by making a White House run.

My Presidential Bet (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

I’m betting that Palin will run,
Cuz Michele’s having way too much fun.
Bachmann’s stealing her niche,
Which is making her twitch.
Sarah’d freak if some other gal won.

Mad Kane Welcomes Michele’s Mad Campaign

Monday, June 27th, 2011

I’m looking forward to following Michele Bachmann’s just launched presidential campaign:

Mad Kane Welcomes Michele’s Mad Campaign (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Michele Bachmann announced she’s in play,
And I welcome Michele to the fray:
Her positions bizarre
Will most certainly mar
The GOP’s comeback foray.

Obama Fund Raising Haiku

Monday, June 27th, 2011

President Obama has been courting wealthy donors with a new program called Presidential Partners — the kind of donors who can afford a $75,800 donation to the Obama Victory Fund.

The effort to court deep-pocketed backers comes amid uncertainty about whether Obama will be able to reproduce the level of small donations that were estimated to have made up about half of the $745 million he raised in the 2008 campaign.

That brings me to this haiku:

Prez seeks large donors.
Small donors already gave
at the groc’ry store.

Limerick Ode To Economic Sabotage

Thursday, June 23rd, 2011

Are Republicans deliberately undermining and sabotaging the economy and jobs creation to make sure Obama’s a one-term President? Of course they are!

Limerick Ode To Economic Sabotage
By Madeleine Begun Kane

The Republican scheme: Block a rally!
Cuz a surge in the job market tally
Helps Obama retain
His prize seat; paycheck pain
Will ensure an Obama finale.

Huntsman On The Hunt For The White House … And A Good Speller

Tuesday, June 21st, 2011

This Jon Huntsman campaign launch blooper tickled me:

Every detail of Jon Huntsman’s long-awaited campaign launch was meticulously planned, except of course for one minor detail: the misspelling of the candidate’s name.

Members of the media were handed a press pass that read “John Huntsman for President” — adding an unnecessary H in the candidate’s first name.

Huntsman On The Hunt For The White House … And A Good Speller
By Madeleine Begun Kane

My task here — to track the inane,
Like this flub in Jon Huntsman’s campaign:
A press pass mistake —
“Jon” spelled “John” takes the cake
At a prez campaign launch speech. Insane!

***********

I’m delighted to have several of my limericks featured at Vox Frustati over at the Daily Kos. The fellow who does the reading has a wonderful voice and delivery, and there’s a transcript so you can read along.

Lightweights — No Debate!

Tuesday, June 14th, 2011

Lightweights — No Debate!
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Republicans held a debate
To see which prez contender would rate.
Not a one was impressive,
And all are regressive—
Mad lightweights galore! What a slate!

Tim “Tame” Pawlenty

Tuesday, June 14th, 2011

If there’s one common theme about last night’s Republican Presidential debate it’s this: Tim Pawlenty blew it by blowing off an op (handed to him by CNN’s John King) to reprise his “Obamneycare” anti-Romney attack:

Tim Pawlenty,
a debater failed.
Asked about “Obamneycare,”
he simply bailed.