Archive for the ‘Election Satire’ Category
Monday, July 27th, 2015
The guys (and one gal) vying for the Republican presidential nomination are in a bind. With Donald Trump in the picture, it’s virtually impossible to get press coverage and boost poll numbers, even if you say something crazy. But I do have a “modest proposal” for them:
Debate Spot “Strategery” (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Many would-be debaters are freaking
Cuz that spot on the stage that they’re seeking
Is elusive at best;
They’ve been Trumped by a pest.
Here’s a tip for attention: Try streaking.
Tags: Campaign Satire, Donald Trump, Election Humor, GOP Humor, GOP Lies, Republicans Humor
Posted in Campaign Humor, Donald Trump, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Media Satire, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor | Comments Off on Debate Spot “Strategery” (Limerick)
Tuesday, July 21st, 2015
Not that I’m a fan of Sen. Lindsey Graham, but Trump’s giving Graham’s private cell phone number out to the public is disgusting! I wish someone would do the same with Trump’s number, giving him a taste of his own caddish medicine.
And please don’t tell me two wrongs don’t make a right. Donald Trump deserves that and much more … including this limerick:
Lindsey Graham must buy a new cell;
He’s been doxed into mean-caller hell
By the Donald, who thinks
All opponents are finks,
Deserving a Trump “diss and tell.”
Tags: Campaign Satire, Cell Phones, Donald Trump, Election Humor, Invasion of Privacy, Lindsey Graham, Privacy Humor, Republicans Humor
Posted in Campaign Humor, Donald Trump, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Lindsey Graham, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Privacy Humor, Republicans Humor, White House | Comments Off on Too Bad The Donald Can’t Be Docked For Doxing (Limerick)
Tuesday, July 21st, 2015
New York’s beautiful Taconic State Parkway is marred by signage litter; ostentatious signs directing people to the non-park known as Donald J. Trump State Park. (Rachel Maddow explains the history of this non-park with its misleading, annoying signs. She even takes us for a tour in this entertaining video.)
Alas, this just-pretend park sits right between our Bayside, Queens house and our tiny summer cottage in Putnam Valley. So those damn signs routinely haunt and taunt us, which brings me to this limerick:
There’s a fine New York road, the Taconic;
With its lush mountain views, it’s a tonic…
Or it was in the past.
But the signs it’s amassed
For the Donald J. Trump Park? Demonic!
Tags: Donald J. Trump State Park, Donald Trump, New York, New York Humor, Taconic State Parkway, TSP
Posted in Campaign Humor, Donald Trump, Election Satire, GOP Humor, New York Politics, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor | Comments Off on Limerick Ode To Donald J. Trump State Park
Tuesday, July 21st, 2015
Help! I Can’t Stop Writing Trump Limericks!
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The race has been thrown out of kilter
By Trump, who is lacking a filter.
I have three more lines left,
But I’m sadly bereft
Because “builder,” alas, ain’t spelled “builter.”
Tags: Campaign Satire, Donald Trump, Election Humor, GOP Humor, GOP Lies, Republicans Humor
Posted in Campaign Humor, Donald Trump, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, White House | Comments Off on Help! I Can’t Stop Writing Trump Limericks!
Wednesday, July 15th, 2015
Republican Just Deserts (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Republican pols are distraught
Cuz their base supports “Trumpian Thought.”
But their years of supporting
Ill will and distorting
The truth gave them just what they wrought.
Tags: Campaign Satire, Donald Trump, Election Humor, GOP Humor, GOP Lies, Republicans Humor
Posted in Campaign Humor, Donald Trump, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, White House | Comments Off on Republican Just Deserts (Limerick)
Wednesday, July 15th, 2015
“Lame” Critiques (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
So minimum wage laws are “lame?”
Sounds inane, but it’s Scott Walker’s claim.
What is “lame” is that Scott
Uses words without thought–
Schoolyard slams without substance. For shame!
Tags: Campaign Satire, Economy Satire, Election Humor, GOP Idiocy, Minimum Wage, Money Poetry, Presidential Election, Republican Primary, Republicans Humor, Scott Walker, Wisconsin, Work Humor, Workplace
Posted in Business Humor, Campaign Humor, Election Satire, Employment Humor, GOP Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Scott Walker, White House, Wisconsin | Comments Off on “Lame” Critiques (Limerick)
Tuesday, June 30th, 2015
Open Limerick To Chris Christie
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Dear Christie, you claim that you’re running.
If you are, then your chutzpah is stunning,
Cuz you surely know well
That you’ve no chance in hell.
Cunning prank perhaps? ’Fess up: You’re funning!
Tags: Campaign Satire, Chris Christie, Election Humor, GOP Humor, New Jersey, Republicans Humor, White House
Posted in Campaign Humor, Chris Christie, Election Satire, GOP Humor, New Jersey Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, White House | Comments Off on Open Limerick To Chris Christie
Wednesday, June 24th, 2015
Tags: Bobby Jindal, Campaign Satire, Campaign Slogans, Chris Christie, Election Humor
Posted in Bobby Jindal, Campaign Humor, Chris Christie, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor | Comments Off on GOP Campaign Slogans
Monday, June 22nd, 2015
I’m NOT Amused, Ted Cruz (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
We can always depend on Ted Cruz
To be tacky in voicing his views;
He tells gun control jokes
After massacres, folks,
Crudely preying on death to “amuse.”
Sen. Ted Cruz apparently finds mass murder amusing. Here’s just one of his campaign jokes uttered just two days after the Charleston church massacre:
“You know the great thing about the state of Iowa is, I’m pretty sure you all define gun control the same way we do in Texas — hitting what you aim at.”
Tags: Campaign Satire, Charleston Church Massacre, Crime & Punishment, Dylann Roof, Election Humor, Gun Control, Hate Crimes, South Carolina, Ted Cruz
Posted in Campaign Humor, Crime, Election Satire, Firearms & Guns Humor, GOP Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, South Carolina Humor, Ted Cruz | Comments Off on I’m NOT Amused, Ted Cruz (Limerick)
Wednesday, June 17th, 2015
Trumped Up Candidate (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Says Trump, “I shall build a great wall.
I’m the greatest wall-builder of all!
I’ll make Mexico pay
To construct it — Olé!”
There’s no tale that’s too tall for Trump’s gall.
Tags: Campaign Satire, Donald Trump, Drug War, Election Humor, Financial Disclosure, GOP Idiocy, Mexico Humor, Republicans Humor
Posted in Campaign Humor, Donald Trump, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Mexico Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, White House | Comments Off on Trumped Up Candidate (Limerick)
Tuesday, June 16th, 2015
Don’t Fall For Trump’s Trompe-L’œil
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Dear Trump, you’ve announced that you’ll run.
But I know it’s a stunt, and you’ll shun
That financial report.
When it’s due, you’ll abort…
After relishing limelight-filled fun.
NOTE: A presidential candidate can, in theory, “run” for four months without filing his personal financial disclosure with the FEC … and then abandon the campaign. And I’m betting Trump will do exactly that.
Why? Cuz Trump can BS all he wants to on his two-page unsworn-to summary of assets. But the actual legal filing has to be accurate. And I’m guessing that an accurate filing wouldn’t be nearly as impressive as Trump’s “asset summary.”
The Washington Post explains the personal financial reporting requirements for a presidential candidate:
…under a 1978 federal ethics law, presidential candidates must file a personal financial disclosure with the FEC within 30 days after announcing their candidacies. (They can request two 45-day extensions.) The filing must detail their financial interests and income, as well as those of their spouses and dependent children.
Tags: Campaign Satire, Donald Trump, Election Humor, FEC, Financial Disclosure, GOP Idiocy, Republicans Humor
Posted in Campaign Humor, Donald Trump, Election Satire, FEC Satire, GOP Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, White House | Comments Off on Don’t Fall For Trump’s Trompe-L’œil
Friday, June 12th, 2015
The Iowa GOP Board
Found its straw poll was being ignored
And disdained — even mocked.
So I sure wasn’t shocked
By its vote to at last cut the cord.
Tags: Campaign Satire, Election Humor, GOP Humor, Iowa, Presidential Campaign Humor, Republicans Humor, Straw Poll
Posted in Campaign Humor, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Iowa Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, White House | Comments Off on No More Grasping At Straws (Limerick)
Saturday, June 6th, 2015
An Open Limerick To Donald Trump
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Dear Donald, I’m begging you: Run!
Join the “clown car” and add to the fun.
A debate with your mouth
Is sure to go south.
Is there anyone nuttier? None!
Tags: Campaign Satire, Donald Trump, Election Humor, GOP Idiocy, Republicans Humor
Posted in Campaign Humor, Donald Trump, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, White House | Comments Off on An Open Limerick To Donald Trump
Thursday, June 4th, 2015
Jeb Bush’s “Non-Campaign” Con
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Why are so many newscasts ignoring
Bush’s lie when he claims he’s exploring
A possible race?
It’s clearly the case
That on FEC regs Jeb is warring.
Jeb’s been stretching the Super PAC rules
And playing the public for fools.
He coordinates madly,
Treats fed’ral law badly,
And laughs as the press acts like tools.
(You can read about Jeb’s “stretching the limits of election law” here and the lack of broadcast evening news coverage here.
Tags: Campaign Funds, Campaign Satire, Election Humor, FEC, Fund Raising, Jeb Bush, Super PACs
Posted in Campaign Humor, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Jeb Bush, Media Satire, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, White House | Comments Off on Jeb Bush’s “Non-Campaign” Con
Friday, April 24th, 2015
Election Season (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Watch cowardly pols run away
From positions they used to display.
And the liars’ technique
Is denial with pique.
Either way, they hold journos at bay.
Tags: Campaign Satire, Election Humor, Journalism Humor, Journalists, Media Humor
Posted in Campaign Humor, Election Satire, Media Satire, Political Limericks | Comments Off on Election Season (Limerick)
Friday, March 27th, 2015
Alas, it seems Louie Gohmert was just kidding the other day when he mentioned possibly running for president. Damn!
Open Limerick To Louie Gohmert
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Louie Gohmert, I’m begging you, run.
Your voice in the race would be fun!
Next to you, Trump and Ted
Seem nigh “right in the head.”
Then again, where’d we be if you won?
Tags: Campaign Satire, Election Humor, Louie Gohmert, Presidential Election
Posted in Campaign Humor, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Louie Gohmert, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, White House | Comments Off on Open Limerick To Louie Gohmert
Monday, March 23rd, 2015
Open Limerick To Ted Cruz
By Madeleine Begun Kane
My muse and I thank you, Ted Cruz.
We’re enthused by your news. No more blues!
I’m infused with elation.
You’re bruising our nation,
But your run means we rhymers can’t lose.
Tags: Campaign Satire, Election Humor, GOP Idiocy, Presidential Election, Republicans Humor, Ted Cruz, Texas Humor
Posted in Campaign Humor, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Ted Cruz, Texas Humor, White House | 1 Comment »
Saturday, March 21st, 2015
Glenn Beck just announced that he’s quitting the Republican Party.
It seems the GOP isn’t quite crazy enough for him.
*****
To prove he really means it this time, Donald Trump is forming a presidential exploratory committee.
Some circuses just can’t have too many rings.
*****
Dear Rand Paul, I don’t live in Kentucky,
And I think that you’re far worse than yucky.
Why’s your newsletter clogging
My email and dogging
My bandwidth with viewpoints so sucky?
*****
Facts can be pesky
and undermine views.
But the right just discards them
like old, worn out shoes.
*****
In a Playboy interview, Dick Cheney said Obama is “the worst president of my lifetime”.
I could have sworn that title belonged to Cheney.
*****
Why don’t I call
the GOP pols heartless?
I hate redundancy.
*****
Re Matt McLaughlin’s gays-killing CA ballot initiative, doesn’t his “Sodomite Suppression Act” deserve a “Matt McLaughlin Suppression Act?”
*****
Alaska Republican Rep. Don Young suggested letting wolves loose to cure the homeless problem.
What a foxy way to angle for a job at Fox News!
*****
The duped marks wallow
in hollow crap they swallow
from pols they follow.
*****
Conservative commentator Dinesh D’Souza has denounced Hillary Clinton’s “lawlessness.”
But I think D’Souza is just lonely serving time for violating campaign finance laws.
*****
Sudden clarity
of thought and reason in pols–
Can’t a gal dream?
*****
Wisconsin Gov. Scott Walker has signed a “Right-to-Work” law, a/k/a the “Right to Destroy Unions by Reaping Benefits Without Paying Dues” law.
******
GOP hucksters
hock our nation’s future
to gain/maintain power.
*****
Tags: California, Dick Cheney Humor, Dinesh D’Souza, Don Young, Donald Trump, Fox News, Gay Rights, Glenn Beck, Hillary Clinton, Kentucky, Matt McLaughlin, Political Tidbits, Presidential Campaign Humor, Rand Paul, Scott Walker, Sodomite Suppression Act, Unions
Posted in Campaign Humor, Collective Bargaining, Dick Cheney Satire, Donald Trump, Election Satire, Fox News Humor, Gay Rights, Glenn Beck Satire, GOP Humor, Homophobia, Legal Limericks, Media Satire, Political Commentary, Political Haiku & Senryu, Political Jokes & One-Liners, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Punditry Humor, Rand Paul, Republicans Humor, Scott Walker | Comments Off on Political Tidbits
Monday, March 2nd, 2015
Most Want President to Have a High School Diploma
A new Public Opinion Polling survey finds that 62% of voters think it’s important for the President to have a high school diploma, compared to only 31% who think it doesn’t matter.
Interesting: “There’s a large partisan divide on the issue: Democrats by an 81%-14% spread think it’s important, while Republicans are evenly divided on the matter at 45%-45%.”
When asked to respond to this poll, Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker said, “Only elitists and ISIS supporters would buy into that requirement, whereas Senator Rand Paul said, “Have I mentioned that I’m a doctor?”
Former Texas Governor Rick Perry, a fellow presidential hopeful, disagreed with both men, saying “Don’t glasses make me look smart?”
*****
UPDATE: I was chagrined to learn that my column has fallen afoul of Poe’s Law. What the heck is Poe’s Law? The “literary adage which stipulates that without a clear indicator of an author’s intended sarcasm it becomes impossible to tell the difference between an expression of sincere extremism and a parody of extremism.”
So for anyone who read this and accepted the poll as real and/or any of the quotes as real, this is hundred percent parody. It was inspired by an actual poll related to whether people believe a U.S. President should have a college degree.
UPDATE 2:
Poe’s Law compressed into a haiku:
In extremist times
reality/parody
appear to have merged.
Tags: Campaign Satire, Education Humor, Election Humor, Fake News, GOP Humor, News Parody, Parodies, Poe's Law, Rand Paul, Republicans Humor, Rick Perry, Scott Walker
Posted in Campaign Humor, Election Satire, Fake News, GOP Humor, News Parodies, Political Limericks, Politics Satire, Rand Paul, Republicans Humor, Rick Perry, Scott Walker, White House | 3 Comments »
Saturday, January 31st, 2015
Mitt Bows Out (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Mitt Romney won’t run. What a blow!
He took stock and decided no-go.
Now I won’t get to mock
His new populist crock
As the dough flows to Dubya’s bro.
Tags: Campaign Satire, Election Humor, Mitt Romney, Presidential Campaign Humor
Posted in Campaign Humor, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Mitt Romney Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, White House | 1 Comment »
Political Tidbits
Saturday, March 21st, 2015Glenn Beck just announced that he’s quitting the Republican Party.
It seems the GOP isn’t quite crazy enough for him.
*****
To prove he really means it this time, Donald Trump is forming a presidential exploratory committee.
Some circuses just can’t have too many rings.
*****
Dear Rand Paul, I don’t live in Kentucky,
And I think that you’re far worse than yucky.
Why’s your newsletter clogging
My email and dogging
My bandwidth with viewpoints so sucky?
*****
Facts can be pesky
and undermine views.
But the right just discards them
like old, worn out shoes.
*****
In a Playboy interview, Dick Cheney said Obama is “the worst president of my lifetime”.
I could have sworn that title belonged to Cheney.
*****
Why don’t I call
the GOP pols heartless?
I hate redundancy.
*****
Re Matt McLaughlin’s gays-killing CA ballot initiative, doesn’t his “Sodomite Suppression Act” deserve a “Matt McLaughlin Suppression Act?”
*****
Alaska Republican Rep. Don Young suggested letting wolves loose to cure the homeless problem.
What a foxy way to angle for a job at Fox News!
*****
The duped marks wallow
in hollow crap they swallow
from pols they follow.
*****
Conservative commentator Dinesh D’Souza has denounced Hillary Clinton’s “lawlessness.”
But I think D’Souza is just lonely serving time for violating campaign finance laws.
*****
Sudden clarity
of thought and reason in pols–
Can’t a gal dream?
*****
Wisconsin Gov. Scott Walker has signed a “Right-to-Work” law, a/k/a the “Right to Destroy Unions by Reaping Benefits Without Paying Dues” law.
******
GOP hucksters
hock our nation’s future
to gain/maintain power.
*****
Tags: California, Dick Cheney Humor, Dinesh D’Souza, Don Young, Donald Trump, Fox News, Gay Rights, Glenn Beck, Hillary Clinton, Kentucky, Matt McLaughlin, Political Tidbits, Presidential Campaign Humor, Rand Paul, Scott Walker, Sodomite Suppression Act, Unions
Posted in Campaign Humor, Collective Bargaining, Dick Cheney Satire, Donald Trump, Election Satire, Fox News Humor, Gay Rights, Glenn Beck Satire, GOP Humor, Homophobia, Legal Limericks, Media Satire, Political Commentary, Political Haiku & Senryu, Political Jokes & One-Liners, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Punditry Humor, Rand Paul, Republicans Humor, Scott Walker | Comments Off on Political Tidbits