When Republican pols take the stage,
Seems deceit has become all the rage,
Cuz no matter how sordid,
Their lies are rewarded.
Waging war on the truth’s become sage.
Archive for the ‘Election Satire’ Category
What Lies Beneath The Lies (Limerick)
Tuesday, December 1st, 2015Trumping The Truth (Limerick)
Wednesday, November 25th, 2015With their lies, guys like Donald Trump try us.
Prove them wrong, they just laugh and defy us.
They keep getting their way
Cuz there’s NO price to pay.
Call them out? They shout, “Media bias!”
Shedding Tears For Ben Carson? (Limerick)
Monday, November 9th, 2015The “liberal bias” lie is in full bloom this election cycle. And in its latest manifestation, RNC Chairman Reince Priebus and Hugh Hewitt would have us believe that the press is being really mean to Ben Carson, while treating Hillary Clinton with kid gloves.
Of course such assertions are so laughable, even Joe Scarborough is mocking them.
Hugh Hewitt and Reince look askance
At the Ben Carson cov’rage. Their stance:
It’s a lib-press vendetta!
Hill’s treated much bettah!
(Even Joe isn’t buying their rants.)
Why Should Ben Carson Captain Our Ship Of State? (Limerick)
Wednesday, November 4th, 2015Carson’s dearth of credentials is stark,
And being the prez ain’t a lark.
But just mention his lack,
Ben’s response will be whack:
He says “amateurs built [Noah’s] Ark.”
Ben Carson’s full Twitter quote is: “It is important to remember that amateurs built the Ark and it was the professionals that built the Titanic.”
Curtains for Jeb? (2-Verse Limerick)
Thursday, October 29th, 2015Who should quit after last night’s debate?
It was Jebbie’s worst showing, to date,
A performance dismaying.
His fans must be weighing
Their option to dump his dead weight.
Jeb’s attack on pal Rubio failed,
And at Marco’s retort, Jeb just flailed.
Then smooth sailing for Marco.
From Jeb? Not a spark! Oh,
Jeb’s run has been fully derailed.
About Those Polls (Limerick)
Tuesday, October 27th, 2015Four recent polls (3 in Iowa, 1 national) show Ben Carson ahead of Trump, prompting Trump to claim that polls with so many candidates aren’t very scientific.
Unless they show Trump ahead, of course.
When The Donald tops polls, they’re “terrific!”
He runs second? They’re “unscientific.”
Cuz when Trump’s on the stump,
Though his number’s might slump,
His ego-laced lines stay prolific.
Jeb Bush – Unhappy Campaigner (Limerick)
Sunday, October 25th, 2015Jeb Bush is sounding bummed these days about the toxic nature of the race to be the Republican presidential nominee:
I’ve got a lot of really cool things I could do other than sit around, being miserable, listening to people demonize me and me feeling compelled to demonize them. That is a joke. Elect Trump if you want that.
It seems Jebbie objects to the slings
And arrows of primary swings;
Having chosen to run,
He just ain’t havin’ fun…
And would rather do “really cool things.”
Press Biding Its Time Till It Gets Serious About The Issues (2-Verse Limerick)
Tuesday, October 20th, 2015Anyone else sick of the breathless “will he or won’t he” Biden stories? Well, not to be outdone by all that foolishness, the Washington Post “inadvertently published” a website story under this headline: “Biden to launch a presidential campaign.”
Biden cov’rage is dumb as it gets:
Now the Washington Post sends regrets
For its story proclaiming
Joe’s running. It’s blaming
A “technical glitch.” Cool your jets!
Most journos don’t bother to air
Real issues. That’s work they can’t bear!
Seems their duties they’re ceding.
Instead they keep feeding
Us nonsense. So reader beware!
Yet Another Open Limerick To Jim Webb
Tuesday, October 20th, 2015Remember the guy who did nothing but complain about being cheated on time at the Democratic debate? He’s actually threatening to run as an independent.
Dear Senator Webb, get a grip!
In the polls you are barely a blip.
You’re so far from ascendant,
A run “independent”
Is nuts. Here’s a tip: You’ll get zip.
How Dare Trump Tell The Truth About Something! (Limerick)
Monday, October 19th, 2015Though The Donald’s said many things bad,
Seems the one thing that makes Jebbie mad
Is when Donald Trump says
That Jeb’s brother was prez
On September 11th. The cad!
Open Limerick To Jim Webb
Sunday, October 18th, 2015Dear Jim Webb, we are sick of your kvetching.
Your wretched behavior ain’t fetching.
When you whine about rigging
Debates, you are digging
Your grave — also triggering retching.
About Last Night (Limerick)
Wednesday, October 14th, 2015Here’s how I’d sum up the first Democratic debate:
I’d say Hillary easily won,
And Bernie did well in the sun.
Whiny Webb? Dull O’Malley?
Dazed Chafee? Finale!
They should quit cuz their runs are undone.
Open Limerick To Joe Biden
Sunday, October 4th, 2015I’m so sick of these headlines: “Will he or won’t he? Biden still trying to decide.”
Look, I really like (and sympathize with) Joe Biden. But it’s time to shit or get off the pot.
Dear Joe, it is time to decide.
When you hedge, you help others divide
Our great party, which needs
To get out of the weeds
And ensure that a Dem does preside.
If The Shoe Fits… (Limerick)
Wednesday, September 30th, 2015If The Shoe Fits… (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A chorus of jeers and complaining
Ought to greet all those speech-makers feigning
Deep concern for the poor.
Show those liars the door,
Cuz I’m sick of their BS campaigning.
I’m No Shrink, But… (Limerick)
Thursday, September 24th, 2015Says Rubio, “Trump’s insecure.”
That assessment does have some allure.
Is the braggart and gloater
And slick self-promoter
Disguising the fact he’s unsure?
I’m no shrink, so I shouldn’t opine,
But I will. (I’ve been drinking some Rhine.)
Compensation for lacks
Could explain his attacks.
Armchair-whining is done — need more wine.
And He’s Out! (Limerick)
Monday, September 21st, 2015Scott Walker’s dropped out of the race
Cuz apparently Walker can’t face
Polling way under “1.”
So he’s back to the fun
Of destroying Wisconsin apace.
Yet Another GOP Debate Limerick
Friday, September 18th, 2015After yesterday’s 3-verser about the 2nd GOP debate, you’d think I’d be done. But apparently not:
How I loathe the “He kept us safe” line.
Jeb’s revived it. How dare he — that swine!
Silly me — I’d have sworn
9-11 was born
On Dub’s watch. Were we safe? I’d say nein.
About Last Night (3-Verse Debate Limerick)
Friday, September 18th, 2015About Last Night (3-Verse Debate Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
As Wednesday’s debate has laid bare,
Donald Trump can spout naught but hot air;
When policy matters
Come up, he’s in tatters.
No detail — just nonsense … and hair.
All his rivals have views I’d forswear.
But at least they have taken some care
To bolster each stand
With some facts, often canned
And untrue — they know fact-checking’s rare.
Fiorina, it seems, was on fire,
And I have to admit I admire
Her talent for lies,
While she’s eyeing the prize
In the fight I’d call “Braggart v. Liar.”
