Archive for the ‘Debate Humor’ Category

Mitt’s Losing Bet (Limerick)

Sunday, December 11th, 2011

In the wake of Mitt Romney’s misplaced $10,000 bet, the “Intrade political futures market shows Mitt Romney’s chances of winning the GOP presidential nomination dropping to 40% today, while Newt Gingrich’s chances have surged to 37%.”

Mitt’s Losing Bet (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Mitt’s ten-thousand dollar faux pas
Makes Republican voters say, “Bah!”
So betting is strong
That Romney’s gone wrong,
And that Newt will get voters’ “Hurrah!”

Gunning for Gingrich (Limerick)

Saturday, December 10th, 2011

Tonight’s Drake University, Iowa Republican Presidential Debate, hosted by ABC News and moderated by Diane Sawyer and George Stephanopoulos, looks to be pivotal:

Gunning For Gingrich (Limerick)

They’re gunning for Gingrich tonight.
Opponents are poised for a fight.
The GOP’s freaking:
No more are they seeking
Non-Romney, with Newt as their plight.

Limerick Ode To The Immoderate Donald Trump

Wednesday, December 7th, 2011

A Trump-moderated Republican debate? Even Karl Rove says it’s a terrible idea.

Damn! Me — agreeing with Karl Rove. That’s seriously scary!

Meanwhile, Mitt Romney did the classy thing, for once, adding his name to the list of candidates who’ve declined the Trump Debate Invite. So far, Ron Paul, Jon Huntsman, and Romney have declined to participate, while Newt Gingrich and Rick Santorum have accepted.

Limerick Ode To The Immoderate Donald Trump
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Debate moderation’s an art,
And practitioners need to be smart,
Diplomatic, well versed—
In the topic immersed.
Donald Trump? Not just bad. Off the chart!

UPDATE: Republican National Committee Chairman Reince Priebus has come out against the Donald Trump debate, citing as his reason Trump’s ongoing flirtation with an independent run for president. Additionally Perry has now declined his debate invitation.

Yet Another Rick Perry Limerick

Friday, October 28th, 2011

Rick Perry’s apparent solution to his inability to debate seems to be: Avoid debates!

Yet Another Rick Perry Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A message from Perry’s team states
He might skip the remaining debates.
Stay in hiding and pout
When you can’t win a bout?
More cratering poll news awaits.

Eight 4-Liners For The Republican Contenders

Wednesday, October 12th, 2011

It’s time for some more political clerihews — whimsically biographical four-line poems, described more fully here.

I’ve written one for each of the would-be presidents who appeared at last night’s Republican debate:

Mass. Governor Mitt,
A job cutting hit.
He flips and he flops,
As positions he swaps.

*****

Herman “9-9-9” Cain:
(Romney hopes he’ll wane)
Though many think he rocks,
He belongs on Fox.

*****

James Richard Perry:
Is he bright? Not very.
A lousy debater—
Called Bernanke a traitor.

*****

Unhinged Michele
Is sinking pell-mell.
Even crazier than Palin—
Just what is she inhalin’?

*****

Former Speaker Newt,
A pompous beaut.
Purports to be intellectual,
At selling books effectual.

*****

Rick Santorum
Seems lost in this forum.
He’s none too calm
Over his Google Bomb.

*****

Libertarian Ron Paul
Is having a ball.
Doesn’t stand a chance.
But enjoys the dance.

*****

Jon Huntsman jokes
But can not coax
Any support for his reign.
He’s way too sane.

*****

Limerick Ode to Rick “Bad Debater” Perry

Wednesday, August 31st, 2011

Certain media people are doing Rick Perry a huge favor by lowering the bar with tales of Perry being a lousy debater.

Limerick Ode to Rick “Bad Debater” Perry
By Madeleine Begun Kane

When press people lower the bar,
They enable a pol to go far.
Exceed expectations,
Then get more ovations,
And become a political star.

Tim “Tame” Pawlenty

Tuesday, June 14th, 2011

If there’s one common theme about last night’s Republican Presidential debate it’s this: Tim Pawlenty blew it by blowing off an op (handed to him by CNN’s John King) to reprise his “Obamneycare” anti-Romney attack:

Tim Pawlenty,
a debater failed.
Asked about “Obamneycare,”
he simply bailed.

Yet Another Limerick Ode To Christine O’Donnell

Wednesday, October 20th, 2010

By now you’ve surely heard about Delaware Republican Senatorial candidate Christine O’Donnell’s astonishing screw-up in her debate against opponent Chris Coons. I’m speaking, of course, of her First Amendment gaffe. In her now infamous exchange (in a law school, yet) Tea-Partier O’Donnell “appeared to be aggressively ignorant of the fact that the First Amendment requires the separation of church and state.”

That brings me to my latest Limerick:

Yet Another Limerick Ode To Christine O’Donnell
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Debating our Fed Constitution
Can be tough when your grasp’s Lilliputian:
Hence O’Donnell’s conflation
Of church and our nation.
Her savvy could use evolution.

(Here’s my previous limerick about Christine O’Donnell.)

When Is A Slap, Not A Slap?

Monday, October 18th, 2010

Talk about your faux controversies! Taegan Goddard posted a debate video of Democrat Rep. Ed Perlmutter and Republican challenger Ryan Frazier along with this comment: “Note to candidates: No matter how annoying your opponent may be, don’t slap them.”

So I click on the video, expecting to see an actual slap. Instead I see two men in a heated debate, both of whom are gesticulating wildly and invading each other’s space, and one of whom (Frazier) is being incredibly annoying.

Physical contact was inevitable the way both men were moving their arms and hands. And so at one point, Perlmutter’s hand brushed Frazier’s hand, and Frazier actually said: “Ed, don’t hit me man, come on!” Then Perlmutter, who certainly hadn’t hit Frazier, got all milk-toasty, saying: “Sorry. Sorry. You’re right. Sorry. You’re right.”

So now Permutter’s getting a slaphappy rep, and everyone’s arguing about nonsense, instead of the issues. Even Ann Althouse finds the whole thing silly.

And that brings me to my latest limerick:

When Is A Slap Not A Slap?
By Madeleine Begun Kane

This motion described as a slap
Was barely the teeniest tap:
A mere touch — nothing more,
Cuz each man moved galore.
They should each keep their hands on their lap.

Anti-Gay Bunk From Ken Buck

Monday, October 18th, 2010

Republican Ken Buck debated Sen. Michael Bennet (D) during Sunday’s Meet the Press Colorado Senate debate, and things didn’t go well for him. When host David Gregory asked whether being gay is a choice, Buck said yes, and added: “I think that birth has an influence…like alcoholism and some other things, but I think that basically, you have a choice.”

That leads me to my latest limerick:

Anti-Gay Bunk From Ken Buck
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Mr. Buck spewed some anti-gay bunk:
Compared gayness to being a drunk,
Then went on to say gays
Choose their gay life-style ways.
Please don’t vote for that gay-bashing punk.

Ode To John “Air-Quotes” McCain

Thursday, October 16th, 2008

Sarcastic air-quotes around “health” in “health of the mother”? Who the hell uses sarcastic air-quotes anymore … let alone when referring to women’s health? Big mistake, Senator McCain!

Which reminds me — during last night’s debate I had a revelation about the gravitas-test versus the guy-you’d-enjoy-having-a-beer-with-test.  In this year’s election, gravitas-guy (Obama)  is also the fellow I’d enjoy having a beer with … if only I liked beer:

Ode To John “Air-Quotes” McCain
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Many voters ask:  Whose views are best,
As opposed to the drinking-pal test.
But whichever the measure,
Obama’s my pleasure.
McCain?  He’s a cranky old pest.

What I Learned From Last Night’s Obama / McCain Debate

Wednesday, October 8th, 2008

Here’s what I learned from the second presidential debate: If (heaven forbid) Election 2008 has to be resolved in court, the title of the case will be McCain v. That One.

Ode To Attack Dog Palin

Tuesday, October 7th, 2008

Ode To Attack Dog Palin (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Palin proudly proclaims “I don’t blink!”
(Doesn’t count when it’s merely a wink.)
She attacks with a smile,
Throwing lies cross the aisle —
Slimes Barack as a terrorist fink.

Sarah Palin Passes Her Reading Test

Tuesday, October 7th, 2008

Sarah Palin Passes Her Reading Test
By Madeleine Begun Kane

To those who say Palin was best,
I’ll concede she debated with zest.
But she read off her notes
All night long, so your votes
Are based on an open book test.

Did The Dog Eat John McCain’s Debate Notes?

Wednesday, September 24th, 2008

John McCain is so scared to debate Obama, that he’s reneged on his Friday debate commitment all in the name of patriotism.   Yup — the guy who almost never shows up for Senate votes,  is apparently planning to swoop into Washington, fix our fiscal crisis and, only then, resume campaigning and debate.  After all,  John McCain is such a “country first” kinda guy.

The good news is that Obama isn’t falling for the canceled debate bait.

Did The Dog Eat John McCain’s Debate Notes? (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

This Friday’s debate won’t proceed,
Says McCain, while pretending to lead.
We’ve a crisis at hand.
Country first — his demand.
Be a patriot, John, and concede.

McCain’s Memory Purge

Tuesday, September 23rd, 2008

While Congress is caught up in the Wall Street bail-out proposal, the presidential candidates are preparing for Friday’s foreign policy debate. What will McCain focus on … after boning up on Spain’s location? Working his surge-centric attack on Obama’s judgment into every answer, no matter what the question:

McCain’s Memory Purge
By Madeleine Begun kane

Please beware of McCain’s mem’ry purge.
He was wrong on Iraq, so this scourge
Proves his judgment was poor.
He cheer-led the war
Which did not get its start with the surge.[tags]Campaign Satire, Election Humor, Presidential Debates, Foreign Policy Humor, McCain Limerick, Iraq War, Judgment Humor, Surge Poem[/tags]

Dear Barack Obama: Last Night Is What Happens When You Drink Your Own Kool-Aid

Thursday, April 17th, 2008

What did we learn from last night’s debate?  That (unlike Hillary Clinton) Barack Obama falls apart when he finally encounters a hostile press. 

As the Philadelphia Inquirer’s Dick Polman observes, Obama was “shaken, rattled and rolled” at the ABC debate.  So, is this the kind of candidate you want opposing John “Media Pal” McCain in the general election? 

And that brings me to my latest limerick:

Dear Barack Obama: Last Night Is What Happens When You Drink Your Own Kool-Aid
By Madeleine Begun Kane

The man with the tongue made of gold
Under pressure last night seemed to fold.
His supporters excuse him—
Claim press guys abuse him.
Words matter. Barack’s? Oversold![tags]ABC Pennsylvania Presidential Debate, Senator Obama, Election Humor, Campaign Satire, Senator Clinton, Hostile Press, Senator McCain[/tags] 

The GOP’s Evolving Policy On Lawyers

Wednesday, October 10th, 2007

Can you imagine the reaction if a Democratic candidate made a Mitt Romney type consult the lawyers before launching a war remark?  Republicans wouldn’t be guilty of a double standard, would they?

First Kill All The Lawyers (Republican Policy)

First Consult All The Lawyers (Mitt Romney Policy)

First Kill All The Democrat Lawyers (Revised Republican Policy)

(You can find more of my legal humor here.) [tags]Mitt Romney, Legal Humor, Republicans & Lawyers, GOP & Attorneys, Debate Humor, GOP Hypocrisy[/tags]