Trump’s pretending he won the debate,
Citing polls (non-existent) that rate
Him the winner by lots.
(Were they written by bots?)
Dotty Don can’t face up to his fate.
Archive for the ‘Debate Humor’ Category
“Prizefighter” Trump Claims Kamala Harris Lost The Fight (Limerick)
Sunday, September 15th, 2024Open Limerick To Kamala Harris
Thursday, September 12th, 2024Dear Veep Harris, I thank you for winning
And demolishing Trump. I’m still grinning!
On the eve of my birthday,
You gave me a mirth day…
Watching bait-taking Trump lose each inning.
Cowardly Donald (Limerick)
Sunday, August 4th, 2024I can’t resist mocking Trump’s attempts to weenie out of debating Harris. Why? Because his pretext for backing out of the ABC debate (and switching to a Fox debate) doesn’t pass the straight-faced test:
“I am in litigation against ABC Network and George Slopadopoulos, thereby creating a conflict of interest.” What’s wrong with that excuse? Trump’s lawsuit is NOT a new development. Trump filed suit in MARCH and agreed to the ABC debate nearly two months later, in MAY.
To his base, Trump’s a tough, macho male,
Who would never back down and/or bail.
Yet he’s scared to debate
Our great VEEP on the date
And agreed-upon place. He turned tail!
Wishful Thinking (Limerick)
Thursday, October 22nd, 2020As the Joe/Donald battle is fought,
Muting Trump is an excellent thought.
I just wish it could last
Past debate night; Trump’s blast
Gently dulled, if not dampened to naught.
Pence’s Flying Friend (Limerick)
Thursday, October 8th, 2020Headline: “A fly sat atop Mike Pence’s head for two minutes during the V.P. debate.”
A fly’s lengthy stay on Mike’s head
(Two minutes, until the fly fled)
Went unnoticed by Pence,
Or ignored. Makes no sense,
Unless Pence is a robot … or dead.
Trump Won The 1st Debate Bigly! Who Knew?
Thursday, October 1st, 2020Trump Tweet: “I won the debate big, based on compilation of polls etc. Thank you!”
Trump Tweet: “Why would I allow the Debate Commission to change the rules for the second and third Debates when I easily won last time?”
Donald claims that he won the debate.
Seems he thinks his performance first-rate.
All the polls (so Trump says)
Prove Joe lost to the Prez.
But as always, for proof we await.
Apologize? Hell No! (Limerick)
Thursday, October 1st, 2020Headline: “Biden Says He’s Not Sorry for Calling Trump Racist, Clown, Liar, ‘Putin’s Puppy’ During Debate: ‘Everything I Said Was True’”
Joe called Trump “liar,” “racist,” “fool,” “clown.”
“Are you sorry?” he’s asked with a frown.
Why should Biden regret
Any apt epithet?
There’s no reason for Joe to back down!
Limerick Ode To The Defiler-In-Chief
Wednesday, September 30th, 2020Headline: “Undecided Voter Says Trump Acted Like ‘a Crackhead’ During Debate, Will Now Back Biden”
The presidency’s been defiled
By the Donald, a petulant child,
Whose debate-style is rude
And disruptive, vile, crude–
Like a crackhead, but even more wild.
Trump’s Demented Accusations (Limerick)
Monday, September 28th, 2020Headline: “‘The president thinks his best case is made in urine’: Biden campaign mocks Trump’s drug-testing demand”
“Joe’s demented,” says Trump about Biden.
“With that brain, he should NOT be presidin’.
While debatin’ I’ll best him;
If not, we must test him
For drugs. Then we’ll know what he’s hidin’.”
Limerick Ode To Losing “Bigly”
Thursday, October 20th, 2016Donald lost the debate rather “bigly.”
The jig’s up, Mr. “Bigwig.” Your prigly
And pigly deportment
And oddball assortment
Of views “rigged the deal” … and I’m giggly.
Pre-Debate Queries (Limerick)
Monday, October 17th, 2016Will Donald show up to debate
And act crazy, confused, or irate?
Will he spread taller tales,
As he coke-sniffs and wails?
It’s all moot; Trump has sealed his own fate.
Trump Gropes For A Distraction (Limerick)
Sunday, October 9th, 2016The debaters are poised for the kill.
(I’m referring to Donald and Hill.)
Here’s the answer we need:
Will The Donald succeed
In changing the villain to Bill?
Open Limerick To Mike Pence
Wednesday, October 5th, 2016Dear Mike Pence, I am duly impressed.
You bested Tim Kaine, I’ll attest.
You’re so cool under fire,
Too bad you’re a liar!
And since when is mendacity blessed?
Looking At The Lookist (Limerick)
Thursday, September 29th, 2016Donald swallowed Hill’s fat-shaming bait,
Which made him enraged and irate.
So he keeps lashing back
And confirms with each whack
That at lookism, Donald is great.
Going Mental (Limerick)
Sunday, September 25th, 2016I keep pacing, and ev’rything’s grating.
I barely can handle the waiting.
I’m shaky and dazed.
My mental state’s crazed.
How fortunate I’M not debating!
Open Limerick To The Press (3-Verse)
Thursday, September 22nd, 2016Will the media (including debate moderators) finally do its job during the upcoming presidential debates? My 3-verse open limerick to the press begs the media to do exactly that:
Dear press, that low bar you employ
Judging Trump must be raised. Don’t be coy.
If he hides some bad traits
In these crucial debates,
Don’t applaud Donald’s “pivot” with joy!
If he fails to behave like a clown
And he brings his high lying rate down,
Doesn’t act like a mad man,
Or Trump-bus’ness ad man,
Don’t hand him a pageantry crown.
Stop pretending that Trump’s not an ass.
Stop giving The Donald a pass.
It’s time to admit
That he’s clearly unfit
To be prez. Do your job! Show some brass!
Delusional Donald (Limerick)
Tuesday, August 9th, 2016Will Delusional Donald debate?
Well of course, so folks see that he’s “great.”
Though he plays hard to get
With “conditions,” I’ll bet
He can’t wait; he’s so sure of his fate.
Donald’s Already Lying About Debates (Limerick)
Saturday, July 30th, 2016I suspect that The Donald is scared
That his knowledge-lack’s sure to be bared
In a Clinton debate.
Hence his tale out the gate:
“Clinton rigged the debate dates,” he blared.
GOP Debates — Too Off-Color For Jerry Springer? (Limerick)
Saturday, March 5th, 2016I love this Jerry Springer quote about the Republican presidential candidates:
Clearly they could be on our show, but now they’ve gone off the deep end, and we would start bleeping out some of what they’d say.
Tabloid talk show host Springer has peeped
At debates (GOP) and has heaped
A critique rather wise;
If he hosted those guys,
They surely would have to be bleeped.
Limerick Ode To Chris “Suicide Bomber” Christie
Wednesday, February 10th, 2016Although Marco’s been weakened by Chris,
Chris Christie’s not feeling the bliss.
For while mauling that pup
Christie blew himself up;
His reward in New Hampshire? Big diss!
