Archive for the ‘Congress Humor’ Category

Republican Gamesmanship (Limerick)

Friday, December 20th, 2024

The Republicans’ game is a mess.
Think they know what they’re doing? (God bless!)
At best, they are wreckers.
They’re NOT playing checkers.
And they’re certainly NOT playing chess!

Still Munching On Popcorn (Limerick)

Friday, October 20th, 2023

The House GOP is a mess.
And it seems to be anyone’s guess
When they’ll fin’lly elect
A new Speaker. They’re wrecked!
Is it glee you detect? Oh my, yes!

Matt Gaetz v. Speaker McCarthy

Monday, October 2nd, 2023

The long-looming motion by Gaetz,
Meant to toss out the Speaker he hates,
Has fin’lly been filed.
So McCarthy is riled
And heated arm-twisting awaits.

Boebert’s Juicy Display (Limerick)

Sunday, September 24th, 2023

By now, you’ve surely heard about Lauren Boebert’s Beetlejuice “performance.” Here’s an entertaining column about Boebert somehow managing to outdo herself in the indecency department.

And here’s my latest limerick:

“Pious” Boebert’s well-known for her rudeness,
Even crudeness (though surely not shrewdness.)
Her vulgar display
At a play made my day:
An infamous “born-again” lewdness.

Open Limerick To Kevin McCarthy

Saturday, September 23rd, 2023

Dear Kevin, a Speaker must lead
And inspire; not meekly accede
To demands from a few
Nihilist loons. You shall rue
Selling out to a crew with no creed.

Limerick Ode To Adam Schiff

Thursday, June 22nd, 2023

Headline: “House GOP votes to censure Schiff over role in Trump investigations”

Adam Schiff has been censured? So what!
It’s hardly a kick in the gut
To be savaged by asses
Who lie to the masses
To placate a traitorous nut!

Limerick Ode To Solidarity

Monday, May 1st, 2023

We the Dems must show full solidarity
To counter the loathsome barbarity
Of Republican stances,
Whose fright’ning advances
Account for this lack of hilarity.

More McCarthy Mockery

Thursday, January 5th, 2023

According to WP’s Robert Costa, Matt Gaetz says McCarthy must either “withdraw from the race,” or commit to a “straitjacket” agreement.

Come to think of it, straitjackets sound like a great idea for most of the House Republicans!

*****

As self-centered loons
impede race to be Speaker,
insanity reigns.

*****

This haiku, I swear,
is my last McCarthy verse
until tomorrow.

*****

Way too many pols
in Republican Party
naught but Pied Pipers.

*****

“Concession-Kevin”
becomes just-pretend Speaker.
Pyrrhic victory.

*****

Kevin’s Dream (Limerick)

Tuesday, January 3rd, 2023

I watch the amusing display
Of Republican House disarray,
And think of the soul
Kevin sold for his goal,
As his Speakership dream floats away.

A Hairy Rick Saccone Theory (Limerick)

Wednesday, March 14th, 2018

Crazy-sounding, but true:

Why did Rick Saccone’s run turned to ash?
Why’d his edge disappear in a flash?
Here’s my fav’rite absurd
Excuse that I’ve heard:
Rick Saccone “should have lost the mustache.”

From the Washington Examiner:

Frustrated by Saccone’s performance, some Republicans have gone so far as to zero in on his mustachioed appearance.

“It’s a porn stache,” said one Pennsylvania-based GOP strategist. “He should have lost the mustache.”

Limerick Ode To Trump’s Phantom Tax Bill

Saturday, June 3rd, 2017

Add this Trump “tax bill” lie to your list
Of assertions deservedly dissed:
It’s “in Congress” and “moving
Along,” he says proving
Non-bills can trump those that exist.

Be Careful What You Wish For (Limerick)

Wednesday, May 3rd, 2017

As Republicans surely are learning
(Having finally sated their yearning
For one-party rule)
Running government’s cool…
But much harder than blocking and churning.

So Much For That Pivot (3-Verse Limerick)

Saturday, March 4th, 2017

At his speech Tuesday night, Trump seemed sane.
His proposals still sucked, but his brain
And behavior looked stable.
(Less time watching cable?)
Fawning pundits were ably inane:

Trump’s “pivot” was praised by the press,
Who perceived “presidential” finesse.
Heavy meds (I assume)
Might explain his brief bloom
Into something much less of a mess.

But his meds have worn off, I conclude,
Based on stark-raving tweets that he spewed
Just today. Yes his feed
On Twitter indeed
Proves our leader’s a bleeping-mad dude.

About Last Night (Limerick)

Wednesday, March 1st, 2017

The reviews for Trump’s speech, in the main,
Were swell, cuz he seemed to be sane:
He read his speech well;
Did not rant, rave, or yell.
What a low bar we’ve set for his reign.

Bracing For Trump’s Speech To Congress (Limerick)

Monday, February 27th, 2017

Although Trump has circulated a bullet point outline of tomorrow night’s speech, here’s what I’m expecting:

Please get ready for Donald to speak
Before Congress on Tuesday this week,
Where he’ll beef about press
And he’ll shriek “We’re a mess,
Only I can address!” (That’s my “leak.”)

Undoing Undue Optimism (4-Verse Limerick)

Saturday, October 31st, 2015

Most press coverage about the “cleaning the barn” two-year “budget deal,” negotiated by Boehner as he was handing off his Speaker gig to Paul Ryan, is unduly optimistic. It tends to lull us into thinking that the opportunity for House wingnuts to wreak havoc has been largely eliminated for a substantial period of time.

But that really isn’t true. Why not? Because, generally speaking, there are three broad opportunities for Tea Party types to threaten or cause shutdowns.

1: Budget bills.

2: Debt ceiling crises.

3: Appropriation bills.

And, alas, only the first two items on that list were resolved, leaving ample opportunities for essential appropriation bills to be saddled with unacceptable riders. For instance, riders eliminating Obamacare or defunding Planned Parenthood, to name just two. In other words:

Right-wing Republicans can still pursue their goals through riders on appropriations bills—and, if they don’t get their way, shut down the government.

With Ryan as Speaker, don’t think
That we aren’t stuck right on the brink
Of Tea Party trouble.
It still can cause rubble
Through spending bills yet to gain ink.

The fact that the budget’s resolved
And the ceiling on debt ain’t involved,
Should not make you relieved.
If you are, you’re deceived,
Cuz the poison pill risk isn’t solved.

The House must appropriate cash,
Via bills which the wingnuts can trash
Through riders from guys
With Tea Party ties,
Turning programs we need into ash.

If that happens, then what can be done?
Only vetoes, and those aren’t fun.
But the blackmailing Hill
Can’t prevail on such bill!
Are there any good choices? Nay! None.

Those Sensitive Republicans (Limerick)

Thursday, December 5th, 2013

According to a Politico story, Republicans pols and staffers are being given remedial sensitivity training to avoid further Todd Akin-style gaffes and to contend with the party’s gender gap.

Those Sensitive Republicans
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Republicans, fearful of gaffes,
Are coaching both Congress and staffs
How to talk to a dame.
(Non-offense is their aim.)
How ’bout policy change, just for laughs?

In DC, Not Even The Clocks Run Like Clockwork (Limerick)

Friday, October 11th, 2013

How sadly symbolic that the historic Senate clock’s no longer ticking, thanks to the government shutdown:

The team of curators that wind the 11-foot tall, nearly 200-year-old clock every week have been furloughed, the Secretary of the Senate confirms to NBC News. It was last wound on Monday, Sept. 30 — and more than a week into the shutdown, its hands are now frozen at 12:14.

The antique clock, known as the “Ohio Clock,” serves as a landmark for both reporters and senators, who regularly gather in the “Ohio Clock corridor.”

In DC, Not Even The Clocks Run Like Clockwork (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

I’m alarmed by the old Senate clock,
Cuz they’ve furloughed its horary doc.
Near two centuries old–
The clock’s out in the cold
With no winders — no tick and no tock.

Our Industrious Lawmakers (Limerick)

Saturday, May 25th, 2013

This New York Times headline doesn’t exactly come as a shock: Banks’ Lobbyists Help in Drafting Financial Bills:

One bill that sailed through the House Financial Services Committee this month — over the objections of the Treasury Department — was essentially Citigroup’s, according to e-mails reviewed by The New York Times. The bill would exempt broad swathes of trades from new regulation.

In a sign of Wall Street’s resurgent influence in Washington, Citigroup’s recommendations were reflected in more than 70 lines of the House committee’s 85-line bill. Two crucial paragraphs, prepared by Citigroup in conjunction with other Wall Street banks, were copied nearly word for word. (Lawmakers changed two words to make them plural.)

Our Industrious Lawmakers (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

It seems Wall Street is writing our laws;
Co’s like Citigroup — clause by bad clause.
If you think it’s a crime
That the rich win each time,
That right there is your probable cause.

Republican Campaign Oversight? (Limerick)

Tuesday, April 9th, 2013

There’s a striking difference between the website homepages of the DCCC (Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee) and the NRCC (National Republican Congressional Committee): The most prominent words (by size and location) on the DCCC site are Democrats 2014. But the only reference to Republicans on the NRCC site is buried on the bottom in the “paid for by” disclaimer.

So, do House Republicans have something to hide?

Republican Campaign Oversight? (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Seems the NRCC’s feeling shame:
How else to explain that the name
Of its party’s not bold,
But lost under the fold
Of a site meant to shore up its game.