Archive for the ‘Campaign Humor’ Category

<== If Trump Could Write Limericks ==>

Friday, August 16th, 2024

During Thursday’s “just pretend” press conference, Trump used being called “weird” as a justification for personal attacks on Kamala Harris. Hence my “If Trump Could Write Limericks.”

Meanie Kamala says that I’m “weird.”
JD too, so we both have been smeared.
And that means I am free
To insult her with glee.
So here goes: Dougie Emhoff’s her BEARD!

Trump’s Scorned Advice (2-Verse Limerick)

Wednesday, August 14th, 2024

Donald’s allies keep warning the guy
That his insults and whining won’t fly:
She “turned Black?” Staged a “coup?”
“AI Crowds?” “Low IQ?”
All false claims that most voters won’t buy!

Though he’s eager to once again reign,
Donald treats their advice with disdain.
To his old ways, he cleaves.
(He knows best, he believes.)
That’s great news: He’ll keep acting insane!

Donald’s Dilemma (Limerick)

Friday, August 9th, 2024

Trump’s new rival is chock-full of zest,
So old Donald’s morose and depressed.
With his poll numbers slidin’,
He misses Joe Biden.
(Time to fake a failed “bar exam” test?)

Cowardly Donald (Limerick)

Sunday, August 4th, 2024

I can’t resist mocking Trump’s attempts to weenie out of debating Harris. Why? Because his pretext for backing out of the ABC debate (and switching to a Fox debate) doesn’t pass the straight-faced test:

“I am in litigation against ABC Network and George Slopadopoulos, thereby creating a conflict of interest.” What’s wrong with that excuse? Trump’s lawsuit is NOT a new development. Trump filed suit in MARCH and agreed to the ABC debate nearly two months later, in MAY.

To his base, Trump’s a tough, macho male,
Who would never back down and/or bail.
Yet he’s scared to debate
Our great VEEP on the date
And agreed-upon place. He turned tail!

Phony Vance (2-Verse Limerick)

Friday, August 2nd, 2024

JD Vance once called Trump “reprehensible”
And compared him to Hitler. (Sounds sensible!)
But now Vance is debasing
Himself by embracing
The Donald, a move indefensible.

JD lives in a house made of glass,
Yet he missed the “no stone-throwing” class.
So he hurls his baloney
At Harris. (She’s “PHONY?!?”)
Poor Vance; his sad ass is now grass.

More Trump Lies (Limerick)

Wednesday, July 31st, 2024

ABC News Headline: “Donald Trump says Kamala Harris, who’s married to a Jewish man, ‘doesn’t like Jewish people'”

Don-OLD falsely asserts that our VEEP
“Doesn’t like Jewish people.” That creep
Knows full well Doug (her spouse)
Is a Jew. Trump’s a louse
And a felon. The man’s full of… BLEEP!

Defeat Team “Weird!” (Limerick)

Sunday, July 28th, 2024

A creative critique of Trump/Vance
Is they’re “weird” which, while true at a glance,
Is the least of their sins.
We must ward off their wins!
If we don’t, freedom won’t stand a chance.

Just Deserts For Donald Trump (Limerick)

Saturday, July 27th, 2024

Donald Trump made an error he rues:
Using age as a way to abuse
And disparage Joe Biden.
Now folks are deridin’
Poor Don-OLD as old. Hence his blues!

The Battle Ahead (Limerick)

Tuesday, July 23rd, 2024

The journey that took us from Joe
To Kamala WAS a bit slow.
But now that we’re there,
We’ll win this, I swear!
To the Trump and Vance pair, just say NO!

Unity Rubbish (Limerick)

Saturday, July 20th, 2024

Please don’t fall for the GOP lies
About “unity.” Buyer be wise!
It does have a nice ring,
But their “unity” thing
Just applies to straight, white, Christian guys!

Trump’s Sore-Winner Speech (Limerick)

Wednesday, January 24th, 2024

A sane presidential candidate would have been pleased after his double-digit New Hampshire primary win over Nikki Haley. But not Donald! He was so furious over Haley’s concession speech vow to remain in the race, that he seethed instead of celebrating:

“Mr. Trump delivered a crude, bitter victory speech attacking Ms. Haley; her chief surrogate, Gov. Chris Sununu of New Hampshire; and the state’s primary process…”

Dear Trump, you sound terribly mad.
I’m confused: You just won. Why so sad?
You di’n’t win by enough?
Oh, poor baby! That’s rough!
But there’s always your dear old pal, Vlad.

Open Limerick To Cognitively-Challenged Trump

Saturday, January 20th, 2024

My latest limerick requires a bit of background info, for those who missed Trump’s latest cognitive quagmire: In New Hampshire this past week, Trump converted his Pelosi lie about January 6 security into a Nikki Haley lie.

And no, I am NOT making this up: According to Trump, Haley was in charge of security during the January 6 Capitol attack, and Haley turned down Trump’s (non-existent) offer of 10,000 National Guard soldiers. (Apparently, the former South Carolina governor and U.N. ambassador became Speaker of the House when nobody was looking.)

Here’s my Open Limerick To Cognitively-Challenged Trump:

Pelosi’s a female, it’s true.
So is Haley, and both oppose YOU.
Nonetheless, it’s unwise
To (while spinning your lies)
Confuse those two gals, as you spew.

Whining For Time (Limerick)

Monday, August 7th, 2023

“Trump’s defense needs more time!” That’s the plea
From John Lauro, last week in DC.
But the judge should be tough,
Cuz oddly enough
John had time for “full Ginsburg” TV.

Limerick Ode To Smart-Ass DeSantis

Thursday, May 25th, 2023

“DeSantis debacle: Twitter Spaces presidential announcement marred by technical problems.”

Smart-Ass Ron: Had you asked someone sane
About venues to launch your campaign,
(S)he’d have warned “Do Not Do
A Twitter Debut!”
(Sound advice you’d have viewed with disdain.)

Yet Another Trump Limerick

Tuesday, May 16th, 2023

Four more years of a man who’s our bane?
A man with a venomous brain?
What’s the crux of the matter?
Trump’s vile — a Mad Hatter!
The GOP’s choice is insane!

Trump’s Announcement Dud (Limerick)

Sunday, November 27th, 2022

Donald’s run has been met with a shrug.
Will he fin’ly be squished like a bug?
He announced and was trounced
In reviews, soon pronounced
“Tired” news. Please indict that damn thug!

The Real Reason Trump’s Running Yet Again (Limerick)

Tuesday, November 15th, 2022

Donald thinks that his run’s a solution
To imminent crime-prosecution.
But indictments shall come,
And that law-breaking bum
Will be tried and soon face retribution.

The Key To Trump’s “Success” (Limerick)

Sunday, September 4th, 2022

When I ask myself, “How can it be
That no matter what Donald does, he
Somehow keeps a tight hold
On his fan base,” I’m told
That the answer’s a “huge BOOBOISIE.”

Pence Ain’t A Saint (Limerick)

Wednesday, June 29th, 2022

Headline: “Pence: ‘We must not rest’ until abortion is outlawed in every state”

On One/Six, Pence behaved like a man;
He helped scuttle Trump’s scurrilous plan.
But enough with the praise!
Re abortion, he’d raze
Women’s rights with a nationwide ban.

A Riot Of A Story (Limerick)

Saturday, January 15th, 2022

Here’s the hilarious (and true) inspiration for my latest limerick:

Headline: “Capitol rioters called Nancy Pelosi’s office looking for a ‘lost and found’ for items they left behind on January 6, according to Rep. Jamie Raskin”

With the Capitol Building defaced,
Some One/Sixers departed in haste.
I must ask: Were they stoned
When post-riot they phoned
Pelosi for stuff they’d misplaced?