Archive for the ‘Barack Obama’ Category

Dear Maureen Dowd, I Don’t Like Your Tone

Sunday, March 22nd, 2009

I’d hoped that Maureen Dowd was all done with her Michelle Obama biceps obsession. But apparently not. In her latest column, Dowd insinuates that Michelle’s “sinewy arms” belong in the Oval.

Dear Maureen Dowd, I Don’t Like Your Tone
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Dear Maureen, please I’m begging, enough!
Yes, the First Lady’s biceps are buff.
But I really don’t need
To constantly read
About “sinewy arms.” Stop the fluff!

Ode To The Easily Offended

Friday, March 20th, 2009

President Obama was witty and entertaining on last night’s Leno appearance, and what’s the upshot? He’s forced to apologize for a self-deprecating, throwaway line comparing his bowling performance to the Special Olympics.

Obama sure is lucky he didn’t compare his basketball prowess to that of short people. Otherwise, I might have to sue him.

This calls for a limerick, don’t you think?

Ode To The Easily Offended
By Madeleine Begun Kane

There are people quite readily stressed
And appalled by the innocent jest.
Our problems are great,
Yet they’re often irate
Over nonsense. Is umbrage their quest?

Go Away Already, Bushie Spinmeisters!

Monday, March 16th, 2009

The Bush-Cheney spinmeisters refuse to go away. Last week it was Ari Fleischer, and this week it’s Dana Perino on CSPAN’s Washington Journal.

Perino actually said Bush should get some credit for last week’s stock market upswing. And she falsely claimed for the gazillionth time that Bush inherited a recession from Bill Clinton.

U.S. economy as of January 20, 2001. U.S. economy as of January 20, 2009. Exactly the same, right?

Sigh… It’s time for a limerick:

Go Away Already, Bushie Spinmeisters!
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Blame Barack when the stock market drops.
When it rises say Bush deserves props.
That’s Perino’s approach.
(Bush deserves no reproach.)
Yes, at double talk Dana is tops.

Can’t Win An Argument On The Merits? Just Use The “Distraction” Gambit.

Wednesday, March 11th, 2009

Republicans love to attack Obama’s initiatives by claiming they’re distractions from his “fix the economy” job. Apparently, if the economy continues to tank, it’s because he wasted all that time signing an executive order opening up stem cell research.

Can’t Win An Argument On The Merits? Just Use The “Distraction” Gambit.
By Madeleine Begun Kane

“Obama’s distracted. His plate
Is too full,” his detractors berate.
“His attention’s dispersed.
Put economy first.”
The problem is nothing can wait.

But Republicans don’t like his plans
And they often use indirect pans.
So research and health
Don’t relate to our wealth?
Boosting science and health — they ain’t fans.

Obama Hasn’t Fixed Everything Yet? What’s Taking Him So Long?

Friday, February 13th, 2009

I can’t decide whether Bret Stephens is nuts or just a really bad satirist.

I’m referring to his Wall Street Journal column entitled Obama’s Charm Isn’t Working Wonders Abroad, in which he recites a litany of foreign policy problems and wonders why Obama hasn’t solved them all yet. After all, it’s been twenty-one whole days!

Both Steve Benen and Steve M. assume Stephens suffers from unrealistic expectations.

But I’m wondering whether Stephens is trying to pass sarcasm off as satire.

And that brings me to my latest limerick:

Obama Hasn’t Fixed Everything Yet? What’s Taking Him So Long?
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Poor Bret is beginning to fret
Cuz our enemies still are a threat.
And Barack (he critiques)
Has been prez three whole weeks.
If this isn’t a spoof, get a net!

The Bully Pulpit Isn’t Enough, When You’re Dealing With Bullies

Monday, February 9th, 2009

I never thought Barack Obama’s post-partisan unity shtick would work. So I’m not surprised that no matter how much Obama reaches out to Republicans, they abuse the privilege.

So, is Obama finally wising up? The good news is he’s beginning to make more aggressive use of the presidential bully pulpit to promote the fiscal stimulus bill.

On the other hand, Obama seems to be in triangulation mode, apparently buying into GOP “centrists'” proposed tax and spending cuts.

Somebody please clue the President into this fundamental precept:

     Give Republicans an inch and they’ll take you — hard.

Only Peons Have To Pay Taxes (Updated)

Monday, February 2nd, 2009

First Tim Geithner, and now Tom Daschle. Anyone else getting tired of rich, powerful people failing to pay taxes, saying “Oops! Sorry! My bad!” and getting away with it?

Geithner’s already gotten his big promotion to Treasury Secretary in Obama’s Cabinet. And I’m betting that after pretending to give Tom Daschle a hard time, the Senate will soon give its former Majority Leader his Health and Human Services Secy gig too.

Just one question: May I join the Tax Defaulters Club, if I promise to pay up in the event I’m ever tapped for high office?

I didn’t think so.

Only Peons Have To Pay Taxes (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

I’m so sick of political sleaze
Who think they can do as they please.
Pay their taxes? Not them!
Be they right-wing or Dem,
With big friends their promotion’s a breeze.

Update: Daschle has withdrawn. Good! How about Howard Dean?

Irony Has At Least Seven More Lives

Sunday, November 30th, 2008

Once again, the media is debating the purported death of irony. Nine-eleven killed it the last time, and this year’s culprit is Barack Obama. Lucky for humorists (and their readers), irony apparently has a cat-like nine lives:

Irony Has At Least Seven More Lives
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Obama’s election’s to blame
For irony’s death, many claim.
Is there nothing to mock?
To satirically knock?
Spoof the press and the pundits — I’m game.

And there’s always the cowardly Dems,
And obstreperous GOP “gems,”
Greedy banks, AIG,
CEOs, bad TV.
Start lampooning — no haws and no hems.

Dear Bush, Doesn’t Your Brush Need Clearing?

Saturday, November 22nd, 2008

Like The New York Times’ Gail Collins and so many others, I think Bush and Cheney need to take early retirement. Otherwise, by the time Obama is president, there won’t be anything left to preside over:

Dear Bush, Doesn’t Your Brush Need Clearing? (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Dear Dubya, you’re only success
Is at failure. Leave early. Egress!
We have found your replacement,
So end the debasement.
Let Obama start fixing your mess.

What Would The Press Do Without Clinton Rumors?

Thursday, November 20th, 2008

Hillary wants to be Obama’s Secretary of State. Hillary doesn’t know if she wants to be Secretary of State. Bill’s standing in her way. Bill’s fully cooperating. Obama’s made an offer. Obama hasn’t made an offer. The blogs think it’s a terrible idea. The blogs think it’s a great idea.

Just one question: Does anyone else think all this rumor-mongering is a wee bit silly?

What Would The Press Do Without Clinton Rumors? (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

The press is so desp’rate for drama
In a White House that’s run by Obama,
That they eagerly tell
Bill and Hill tales pell-mell.
No Clintons? They’d run home to mama.

Celebratory Limerick

Wednesday, November 5th, 2008

Congratulations to Senators Obama and Biden. An historic election has come to a wonderful conclusion:

Celebratory Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Dear Obama, congrats on your win.
You have done it.  You’ve won it.  You’re in!
Now your job will be tough.
(Please don’t take any guff.)
Let the national healing begin!

An Obsessive’s Lament

Sunday, November 2nd, 2008

An Obsessive’s Lament (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Writing verse about Palin’s been fun.
But enough!  I must know who has won.
Although something disturbs me,
Alarms and perturbs me:
Just what shall I do when it’s done?

Ode To John “Air-Quotes” McCain

Thursday, October 16th, 2008

Sarcastic air-quotes around “health” in “health of the mother”? Who the hell uses sarcastic air-quotes anymore … let alone when referring to women’s health? Big mistake, Senator McCain!

Which reminds me — during last night’s debate I had a revelation about the gravitas-test versus the guy-you’d-enjoy-having-a-beer-with-test.  In this year’s election, gravitas-guy (Obama)  is also the fellow I’d enjoy having a beer with … if only I liked beer:

Ode To John “Air-Quotes” McCain
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Many voters ask:  Whose views are best,
As opposed to the drinking-pal test.
But whichever the measure,
Obama’s my pleasure.
McCain?  He’s a cranky old pest.

Vetting My Relatives (Haiku)

Tuesday, October 14th, 2008

My mother-in-law
Thinks Obama is Muslim —
Likes McCain.  Oy vey!

Sarah In Wonderland

Sunday, October 12th, 2008

A  bipartisan legislative panel in Alaska finds Sarah Palin guilty of abusing her executive power.  So is Palin contrite?  Hahahahaha!

Actually, I’m find it tough to get my head around Palin’s response.  (Unlike so many Republicans, I’ve never been any  good at holding two contradictory positions at the same time.)

Republican vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin this weekend disregarded an ethics investigator’s finding that she had abused her executive power as Alaska’s governor and instead embraced a second finding in the report to say that she had been cleared of wrongfully firing her state public safety commissioner. …

In a Saturday conference call with Alaska journalists, Palin said she was “pleased to be cleared of any legal wrongdoing … any hint of any kind of unethical activity there.” She denounced the investigation, calling it “a partisan circus.” …

Okay, I’m not positive, but here’s what seems to be the McCain campaign’s official response to the Troopergate ethics violation report: 

1) It  exonerates her; and

2) If it hadn’t been an Obama-controlled hit job, it would have exonerated her.

My head hurts.

Sarah In Wonderland
By Madeleine Begun Kane

So what is Gov. Palin’s excuse
For the finding of power abuse?
She pretends it ain’t there,
While she claims it ain’t fair,
With the facts playing games, fast and loose.

Team Of Liars (Limerick)

Thursday, October 9th, 2008

Team Of Liars
By Madeleine Begun Kane

The McCain/Palin team now is rife
With liars, including John’s wife.
So it’s surely no shock
They’re defaming Barack.
As McCain might say:  John, get a life!

What I Learned From Last Night’s Obama / McCain Debate

Wednesday, October 8th, 2008

Here’s what I learned from the second presidential debate: If (heaven forbid) Election 2008 has to be resolved in court, the title of the case will be McCain v. That One.

McCain And Palin Make Rudy Look Like A Class Act

Tuesday, October 7th, 2008

It’s not easy to make Rudy Giuliani look like a class act. But both McCain and Palin have managed to do it quite handily.   While Rudy (on at least one occasion) had the decency to chide an audience member for connecting Democrats with terrorists, McCain and Palin apparently feel no such compunction. Why do I say that? Because they greet   anti-Obama audience-shouts like “Treason,”  “Terrorist!” and “Kill!” with silence.

McCain And Palin Make Rudy Look Like A Class Act
By Madeleine Begun Kane

John McCain, I sure hope that you’re proud:
You and Palin prompt rage in a crowd.
Your supporters shout swill:
“Treason!”  “Terrorist!” “Kill!”
Even Rudy would say: Not allowed!

Ode To Attack Dog Palin

Tuesday, October 7th, 2008

Ode To Attack Dog Palin (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Palin proudly proclaims “I don’t blink!”
(Doesn’t count when it’s merely a wink.)
She attacks with a smile,
Throwing lies cross the aisle —
Slimes Barack as a terrorist fink.

Finally, A John McCain Statement I Can Agree With

Monday, October 6th, 2008

At first, I was amused by John McCain’s bitter-sounding “life isn’t fair” remark.

Asked why Obama has been rising as the Wall Street crisis has dominated attention, McCain said with a chuckle on Fox News Channel: “Because life isn’t fair.”

But on second thought, I’ve decided McCain is right:

Finally, A McCain Statement I  Can Agree With
By Madeleine Begun Kane

McCain’s very wrong about war
And on health care and taxes and more.
But he’s right (though it’s rare)
With his “life isn’t fair,”
Cuz what else could explain Bush v. Gore?