A Modest Men’s Reproductive Health Reg Proposal (Limerick)
Ohio State Sen. Nina Turner’s proposed bill regulating men’s reproductive health inspired this multi-verse limerick:
A Modest Men’s Reproductive Health Reg Proposal (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Dear Republican men who insist
On controlling gals’ bodies, we’re pissed.
Since what’s good for the goose
(It’s plain to deduce)
Suits the gander, I’ve drawn up this list:
Viagra henceforth is restricted
To those who can prove they’re afflicted
Via sex partner swearing
You’re impotent, sharing
Your plight through oath uncontradicted.
You must also sex therapy seek
To help you reach sexual peak.
And we’ll force you to take
A stress test, you rake,
And prove that your heart isn’t weak.
In addition, your doc must advise you
About celibacy and apprise you
It’s a “viable choice.”
Yes your doc must give voice
To your options, cuz some may surprise you.
Only then, will the state let your doc
Prescribe any meds for your cock.
After counsel advising
Of side effects rising
From ED pills — nothing to mock.
From then on, you’ll be monitored too
To make sure that your heart ain’t askew.
You’ll be checked and re-tested.
The state is invested
In protecting you guys when you screw.
If you think that such regs are intrusive,
Insulting, and even abusive,
All these rules don’t compare
To what women must bear:
Female freedom is gravely elusive.
Tags: Abortion Rights, Birth Control Limerick, ED, Erectile Dysfunction, Feminism, Feminist Limerick, Gender Humor, Gender Inequality, GOP Humor, Health Satire, Impotence Humor, Legislation Humor, Men's Health, Nina Turner, Ohio, Reproductive Health Humor, Reproductive Rights, Republicans Humor, Viagra Humor, Women's Health
I love your stuff!
I LOVE LOVE LOVE this. Going to tweet the hell out of it. Thanks for your brilliant & poetic take on this issue.
Nothing tightens up a guy’s throat like being directly identified as a limp dick rushing to his Pfizer stash. For a limerick about stiff lower poles [w/stiff upper lips to those Viagra-ing], it sure is classy. In our 1978 NYU film class, we made a video called “Mr. Mom: Good Riddance to Vaginal Politics.” We stuffed guy’s shirts w/pillows to look pregnant & had ’em sit in a clinic forever. 35 yrs later, guys still wanna control women’s bodies & male politicos demand laws to ensure that…aaack!
very bold poem/limerick.
Ah, this Bill makes a cock-up of everything, doesn’t he ;-)
Very profound thoughts, but true:)
This was so so so great !!! :) HA HA HA!!! Spot on dear!!!! too good :)
ha. that is the trick, turn the tables on them and i imagine they will bow quick….smiles…
Beautifully voiced into poetry! And with some great pointers!
Well, I nearly destroyed my computer as I was sipping my second cup of coffee when I read this. Yes, it’s time for a reckoning…and flaccid penises (or is that peni?) won’t cut it. Especially when they need them to work as they’re screwing everyone over. Loved this!
Cackle! Wish this could go to the Republican mailing list:)
So true!!
Mad Kane for President!! LOVED this ! Oh yes! Turn the tables! Tanka Whirl
Brilliantly composed! Funny too, although it’s sad your point isn’t…
Anna :o]
Great… and politicans all do this to protect humans from sin (as if murder with a gun is not a greater sin) … it’s not based on belief in my opinion but on funding and getting elected…. I can never understand the darker side of democracy
A finer pen to flame
the Asses at their game
can not be found
from sky to ground
Brava! More of the same!
Viagra for guilty mens pleasure
For men who never will measure
If they need a blue pill
for a boner that kills
they’re really not much of treasure.
Awesome and brilliant!
Thanks so much everyone for your kind words and fun verse!