Headline: “Fox News host Tucker Carlson claims making children wear masks is ‘abuse’”
A kid in a mask? That’s “abuse,”
According to Carlson, who’s loose
With his words on the air.
But Tuck doesn’t care:
“Call the cops,” like he says … then vamoose.
Headline: “McCarthy won’t say if Cheney is ‘good fit’ for his team”
Is Liz a “good fit” for his team?
Rep. McCarthy won’t say, goes the meme.
Their spat’s over Trump,
Who Kev’s frightened to dump;
Liz won’t swim with his swamp of a stream.
OMG! Joe’s about to ban meat!
He’ll decree that you only can eat
Stuff that grows in the ground.
No more beef-beer around!
(Them’s the claims from the wing-nut elite.)
Dear Liz Cheney, you’re driving me nuts,
Cuz your actions of late have shown guts
And a semblance of reason;
You’re e’en anti-treason —
Not your typical GOP putz.
Headline: “G.O.P. Bills Target Protesters (and Absolve Motorists Who Hit Them)”
Punish protestors (those who hate Trump)
And it’s fine if cars give ’em a bump.
Drive ’em all out of town.
Even run ’em all down.
That’s the GOP creed on the stump.
Censure Waters? That sure takes some nerve!
But Republicans tried it with verve.
Though they’re outraged (they claim)
By her words, they di’n’t blame
Trump for HIS. (They grade Trump on a curve.)
Headline: “How Trump Steered Supporters Into Unwitting Donations”
Donald Trump raked in money; a mint
From his fans, who had nary a hint
Of the sums they had given.
To shock they were driven
By boxes (pre-checked) and small print.
Headline: “Matt Gaetz’s disastrous Tucker Carlson interview, explained”
The Republican Rep. Matthew Gaetz
Is accused of some underage dates.
His denials are odd.
(Even Tuck finds them flawed.)
Here’s hoping that prison awaits.
Mad Kane (Madeleine Begun Kane) is a writer, musician, and "recovering lawyer." She won the Robert Benchley Society Award For Humor and enjoys writing limericks, song parodies, and current events haiku.
You can email her at madkane@madkane.com, visit her non-political humor blog, or stop by her home page.
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