Headline: “Trump’s repeated defense against assault accusations: call the accuser unattractive”
Donald’s message: I’m very selective
When viewing a victim, prospective,
So her rape claim’s a lie,
And it’s obvious why:
She isn’t “my type!” She’s defective!
Donald’s running again? What a “shock!”
His “relaunch” (so-called) is a crock.
He treats his campaign
As his job. That’s been plain
From the day of his swearing-in squawk.
If Trump could write limericks:
Dear nations, both friendly and not,
I need dirt. Send me all that you’ve got.
You’ll be might’ly rewarded,
If Dems are all thwarted.
Name your price. I am easily bought.
I joked, yesterday, that because Biden called Trump an “existential threat,” dictionaries were bracing for the existential threat of site crashes.
But apparently I’m not quite through with the topic. So here’s my limerick:
Dear Joe: Dumping Donald’s essential.
His evil’s widespread — pestilential.
He’s a “threat existential,”
His wrongs, consequential.
But the use of big words? Unprudential!
New York Times Headline: “Elizabeth Warren Has Lots of Plans. Together, They Would Remake the Economy.”
Some regard Warren’s planning with boredom.
Others cheer her. Some say: “Can’t afford ’em!”
Hill had detailed plans too
But, alas, few folks knew
Cuz the media mostly ignored ’em.
I didn’t know Sen. Schumer had such a flair for sarcasm. Check out his tweet:
This is an historic night!
@realDonaldTrump has announced that he has cut a deal to “greatly reduce, or eliminate, Illegal Immigration coming from Mexico and into the United States.”
Now that that problem is solved, I’m sure we won’t be hearing any more about it in the future.
Donald makes a big deal about deals;
A great deal of the time, Donald feels
The need to go bragging
Re super deal-snagging…
So his base will think failures are steals.
Headline: “Trump’s tariffs might amount to the biggest U.S. tax hike since the 1980s”
And now my two-verse limerick:
A tariff is really a tax
That Trump’s hitting us with to the max,
Just to make his base think
Trump the “tough guy” won’t blink.
Dear voters, please give him the ax.
Donald counts on his fans not to know
That tariffs are taxes, and so
He keeps raising those taxes.
Here’s hoping the ax is
About to deliver its blow.
Headline: “Censure rather than impeach? Hell no, Democrats — that’s inexcusable cowardice”
Censure Trump? That’s a weenie’s way out!
The Dems need to exercise clout
And impeach the damn sleaze;
Bring that lout to his knees!
Just how many more laws must he flout?!?
Headline: “Navy acknowledges request to hide McCain warship”
The Donald’s a delicate flower,
Who readily freaks and turns dour
At the thought of McCain,
So the name of his bane
On a ship makes him shudder and glower.
Mad Kane (Madeleine Begun Kane) is a writer, musician, and "recovering lawyer." She won the Robert Benchley Society Award For Humor and enjoys writing limericks, song parodies, and current events haiku.
You can email her at madkane@madkane.com, visit her non-political humor blog, or stop by her home page.
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