Am I feeling despondent? Damn straight!
Donald’s governing principle’s hate!
Also greed, lies, derision
And sowing division.
Trump disdains all that makes our land great.
Our president’s clearly a bad man,
A conspiracy-fabulist madman;
Not a mere empty suit,
But a bullying brute–
Emp’ror Donald J. Trump, the Unclad Man.
Some Alternative Facts: Torture works!
If our nation won’t use it, we’re jerks.
Trump looks forward to using it.
(Even abusing it.)
Torture’s one of Trump’s favorite perks.
Trump’s as bad as I thought, maybe worse.
On our nation and world, he’s a curse.
If his goal is upheaval,
He’s brilliantly evil.
Hope you weren’t expecting light verse.
“Trump Repeats Lie About Popular Vote in Meeting With Lawmakers.”
Now that Trump’s been sworn in, you would think
Mr. Orange would feel in the pink;
That he’d cease his false claims
And fake voter-fraud flames,
But it seems that the man needs a shrink.
Clinton’s popular vote win’s immense,
Which is making Trump terribly tense.
So he fabricates fraud,
Saying votes for the Broad
By illegals robbed Donald and Pence.
Are you as creeped out as I am by VP Pence calling his wife “mother?”
A fellow who calls his wife “mother?”
In the 21st Century? Brother!
That’s our VEEP, who wants gov
To control whom we love
And our bodies. Please get us another!
Here’s a motherlode of Pence quotes, thanks to Stephen Rodrick of RollingStone:
While Mike Pence was governor, his relationship with the Democratic minority in the legislature was crap. Someone on his staff suggested having the Democratic leaders over to the governor’s mansion for dinner. The table was set for 20, but there were only around seven in attendance. One unlucky legislator stuck next to Pence tried to make conversation, but found even at dinner she couldn’t shift Pence off his talking points. Gov. Pence shouted to his wife, Karen, his closest adviser, at the other end of the table.
“Mother, Mother, who prepared our meal this evening?”
The legislators looked at one another, speaking with their eyes: He just called his wife “Mother.”
Maybe it was a joke, the legislator reasoned. But a few minutes later, Pence shouted again.
“Mother, Mother, whose china are we eating on?”
Mother Pence went on a long discourse about where the china was from. A little later, the legislators stumbled out, wondering what was weirder: Pence’s inability to make conversation, or calling his wife “Mother” in the second decade of the 21st century.
If you stop by my page, I’m afraid
You’ll spot flop-sweat; my sage muse has strayed.
From her shocked disappointment
At Donald’s anointment
She brayed, “There’s no point! We’re betrayed!”
Poor Donald! Inaug’ral arenas
Can’t lure stars. (Time to laugh like hyenas.)
Entertainer-Trump’s failed.
Even B-Street Band’s bailed!
Here’s my modest proposal: Subpoenas!
“With charity for none and with malice toward all but his supporters, [Trump] has in the past two months set a new standard for gracelessness in victory.”
It’s apparent that Trump is a sinner
And a lying, conniving tale spinner.
But the oddest of all
His misdeeds, large and small,
Is that Trump’s a ginormous sore winner.
Those who claim my election’s illicit,
Saying I’m with V. Putin complicit,
Are misplacing their scorn;
Donald Trump’s native born,
Unlike Bar! So my ass? You can kiss it!
There’s an ad with a rather odd twist;
A GOP health ad, whose gist
Is the plan that replaces
Obamacare’s aces…
What a shame such plan DOESN’T exist.
The American Action Network, a conservative advocacy group linked to House GOP leadership, is running an ad claiming that an unidentified Republican “plan will create a health insurance system that has ‘more choices,’ ‘better care,’ and ‘lower costs’ than the ACA.”
You can watch the BS ad here.
My latest limerick was inspired by the stark differences between Trump’s signature campaign promises and the positions of his Cabinet picks.
While under the hearing lights’ glare
Donald’s picks make it clear they don’t share
Major policy views
With their prez. Does he snooze
Through their shmoozes … or simply not care?
According to Trump, certain salacious sexual allegations about him couldn’t be true because he’s a “germaphobe.”
“Golden showers?” Who, me? There’s no way
I’d engage in such practice. Nyet! Nay!
Dodging germs would be tricky.
They’re sticky and icky–
Not as good a quick, sterile lay!
Mad Kane (Madeleine Begun Kane) is a writer, musician, and "recovering lawyer." She won the Robert Benchley Society Award For Humor and enjoys writing limericks, song parodies, and current events haiku.
You can email her at madkane@madkane.com, visit her non-political humor blog, or stop by her home page.
You are currently browsing the Mad Kane’s Political Madness blog archives for January, 2017.
