Archive for June, 2016
Tuesday, June 28th, 2016
Dear Donald, you once would extol
Your rankings in poll after poll.
You’d brag and you’d gloat
And you’d proudly emote
About numbers you loved, heart and soul.
But now that you’re deep in the hole,
With low poll numbers taking their toll,
You scream and you swear
That they’re fake and unfair–
Once a poll-touter, now a poll troll.
Tags: Campaign Satire, Donald Trump, Election Humor, Hillary Clinton, Political Polls
Posted in Campaign Humor, Donald Trump, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Hillary Clinton, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Polls, Republicans Humor, White House | Comments Off on Open Limerick To Donald Trump
Sunday, June 26th, 2016
Dear Bernie: I started out liking you, but preferring Hillary. Over time, my respect for you has gradually declined. However until today, I still thought you were a well-meaning progressive, albeit one with an over-inflated ego and a soupçon of sexism.
But all that has changed as a result of your “performance” today on CNN’s State of the Union. My regard for you now is undoubtedly every bit as low as the “Bernie Or Busters’ regard for Hillary Clinton.
So please don’t bother endorsing Hillary EVER. It’s way too late. Nobody cares!
And by all means please keep up your increasingly obnoxious remarks about Hillary — comments you apparently must spew in order to maintain the media attention you require to get through the day. Because again, NOBODY CARES!
And re your: “We are trying to say to Secretary Clinton and the Clinton campaign, ‘Make it clear which side you are on,'” please get therapy. Your need for it appears desperate.
PS: You LOST!!!
Tags: Bernie Sanders, Campaign 2016, CNN, Election 2016, Hillary Clinton, Presidential Election, State of the Union
Posted in Bernie Sanders, Hillary Clinton, Political Commentary | Comments Off on Open Letter To Bernie Sanders
Saturday, June 25th, 2016
I’m flooded with emails and calls
From fellows who think they’ve the balls
To run as my veep.
But my standards are steep;
Are they skilled with cement for my walls?
Tags: Campaign Satire, Donald Trump, Election Humor, Veepstakes
Posted in Campaign Humor, Donald Trump, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, White House | Comments Off on Trump Versifies About His Veep Pick (Limerick)
Wednesday, June 22nd, 2016
I was amused to learn that Trump has been duping friends with fake diamond cuff link gifts for years.
Fake cuff links — my favorite gift–
Very key to maintaining my thrift.
“They’re fine diamonds,” I say
When I give them away.
No one’s miffed; friends don’t know they’ve been stiffed.
Tags: Campaign Satire, Donald Trump, Election Humor
Posted in Campaign Humor, Donald Trump, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, White House | 1 Comment »
Wednesday, June 22nd, 2016
My Hillary speech went off great!
And I’m betting that liar’s irate.
I’ll shellack her and whack her,
Attack her and thwack her.
Getting rich in the Oval’s my fate.
Tags: Campaign Satire, Donald Trump, Election Humor, Hillary Clinton
Posted in Campaign Humor, Donald Trump, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Hillary Clinton, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, White House | Comments Off on Open Limerick From Trump To His Campaign Team
Sunday, June 19th, 2016
Dear Bernie, feel free to contest
The convention with zeal and with zest.
But in case that you think
We’re naive and will shrink
In your wake, you’ll speak midnight, at best.
Tags: Bernie Sanders, Campaign Satire, Election Humor, Hillary Clinton
Posted in Bernie Sanders, Campaign Humor, Election Satire, Hillary Clinton, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, White House | Comments Off on Open Limerick To Bernie Sanders from Whoever Runs the Democratic Convention
Friday, June 17th, 2016
Explain Bernie? I’ll give it a whirl:
He apparently thinks he’s a pearl,
And that Hill and her lot
Are beneath him — worth squat —
Plus he CAN’T bear to lose to a girl.
Tags: Bernie Or Bust, Bernie Sanders, Campaign Satire, Election Humor, Hillary Clinton, Presidential Election
Posted in Bernie Sanders, Campaign Humor, Democrats Humor, Democrats Satire, Election Satire, Hillary Clinton, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire | Comments Off on Explaining Bernie (Limerick)
Wednesday, June 15th, 2016
It seems possible that Bernie won’t endorse Hillary. Or that he’ll delay his endorsement for so long, that it loses much of its effectiveness. And that makes me wonder how valuable a timely Sanders endorsement really is. And how damaging his non-endorsement might be.
From what I can gather, Bernie supporters fall into three broad categories:
1: Those who’ve said all along that they will vote for whoever gets the Democratic nomination.
2: Those who’ve come to realize that (however they may feel about Hillary) Trump is a dangerous threat to our nation and must be stopped.
3: Bernie Or Busters who are so anti-Hillary, that they turned against Elizabeth Warren, the second she endorsed her.
So, would a reasonably prompt Bernie endorsement have any value beyond the symbolic? That very question inspired this limerick:
An endorsement from Bernie’d be great,
Though I’d ask if it truly has weight;
Donald must be shellacked!
You don’t see this? You’re whacked!
And your Bern love could soon turn to hate.
Tags: Bernie Or Bust, Bernie Sanders, Campaign Satire, Donald Trump, Election Humor, Hillary Clinton, Hillary Haters
Posted in Bernie Sanders, Campaign Humor, Donald Trump, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Hillary Clinton, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, White House | Comments Off on A Serious Question (Limerick)
Wednesday, June 15th, 2016
“Our nation is finished. Doom’s near.”
That’s the message from Trump that we hear.
In a way, Donald’s right,
Cuz that’s surely our plight
If we let him our “ship of state” steer.
Tags: Campaign Satire, Donald Trump, Election Humor
Posted in Campaign Humor, Donald Trump, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, White House | Comments Off on Limerick Ode To Donald “The Diviner”
Monday, June 13th, 2016
Dear Trump, are you trying to lose
By pretending you’re missing some screws?
Was your run just a bluff
Which has gone far enough?
If that’s true, then withdraw. Drop the ruse!
Tags: Campaign Satire, Donald Trump, Election Humor
Posted in Campaign Humor, Donald Trump, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, White House | Comments Off on Open Limerick To Donald Trump
Wednesday, June 1st, 2016
The Donald’s a real estate grifter
And a policy viewpoint shape shifter.
If you fall for his spiel
And think HE’s the real deal,
You’ve been guzzling from beer stein or snifter.
Tags: Campaign Satire, Donald Trump, Election Humor, Grifter Limerick
Posted in Campaign Humor, Donald Trump, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Real Estate Humor, Republicans Humor | 1 Comment »
Open Letter To Bernie Sanders
Sunday, June 26th, 2016Dear Bernie: I started out liking you, but preferring Hillary. Over time, my respect for you has gradually declined. However until today, I still thought you were a well-meaning progressive, albeit one with an over-inflated ego and a soupçon of sexism.
But all that has changed as a result of your “performance” today on CNN’s State of the Union. My regard for you now is undoubtedly every bit as low as the “Bernie Or Busters’ regard for Hillary Clinton.
So please don’t bother endorsing Hillary EVER. It’s way too late. Nobody cares!
And by all means please keep up your increasingly obnoxious remarks about Hillary — comments you apparently must spew in order to maintain the media attention you require to get through the day. Because again, NOBODY CARES!
And re your: “We are trying to say to Secretary Clinton and the Clinton campaign, ‘Make it clear which side you are on,'” please get therapy. Your need for it appears desperate.
PS: You LOST!!!
Tags: Bernie Sanders, Campaign 2016, CNN, Election 2016, Hillary Clinton, Presidential Election, State of the Union
Posted in Bernie Sanders, Hillary Clinton, Political Commentary | Comments Off on Open Letter To Bernie Sanders