Archive for March, 2015

Making Discrimination ExPENCive (Limerick)

Tuesday, March 31st, 2015

I’m pleased that business clout and boycott threats are causing Indiana’s Gov. Pence and the state legislature to revisit Indiana’s “religious freedom” law.

But wouldn’t it be nice if corporations had a similar response to other forms of discrimination? Laws that make it harder for women to get birth control or have an abortion, to name just two.

Making Discrimination ExPENCive (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Seems a lesson’s been learned by Gov. Pence:
Biased laws can cost dollars and cents.
Biz will fight for gay rights.
Now it’s time for some fights
Against anti-gal laws to commence.

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Posted in Gay Rights, Gender Politics, GOP Humor, Mike Pence, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor | Comments Off on Making Discrimination ExPENCive (Limerick)

Open Limerick To Louie Gohmert

Friday, March 27th, 2015

Alas, it seems Louie Gohmert was just kidding the other day when he mentioned possibly running for president. Damn!

Open Limerick To Louie Gohmert
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Louie Gohmert, I’m begging you, run.
Your voice in the race would be fun!
Next to you, Trump and Ted
Seem nigh “right in the head.”
Then again, where’d we be if you won?

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Posted in Campaign Humor, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Louie Gohmert, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, White House | Comments Off on Open Limerick To Louie Gohmert

Open Limerick To Lindsey Graham

Wednesday, March 25th, 2015

You’re just not gonna believe who’s to blame for GOP inaction on climate change.

According to Sen. Lindsey Graham (R-SC), it’s Al Gore’s fault.

Here’s Graham: “the problem is Al Gore’s turned this thing into religion. You know, climate change is not a religious problem for me, it’s an economic, it is an environmental problem.”

Open Limerick To Lindsey Graham
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Dear Lindsey, you’re loony — full-bore;
Only nuts would lay blame on Al Gore
For the GOP’s ’tude
About climate change, dude.
Who’s at fault? It’s your Dem-hating corps.

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Posted in Campaign Humor, Climate Change, Global Warming, GOP Humor, Lindsey Graham, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor | Comments Off on Open Limerick To Lindsey Graham

Open Limerick To Ted Cruz

Monday, March 23rd, 2015

Open Limerick To Ted Cruz
By Madeleine Begun Kane

My muse and I thank you, Ted Cruz.
We’re enthused by your news. No more blues!
I’m infused with elation.
You’re bruising our nation,
But your run means we rhymers can’t lose.

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Posted in Campaign Humor, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Ted Cruz, Texas Humor, White House | 1 Comment »

Political Tidbits

Saturday, March 21st, 2015

Glenn Beck just announced that he’s quitting the Republican Party.

It seems the GOP isn’t quite crazy enough for him.

*****

To prove he really means it this time, Donald Trump is forming a presidential exploratory committee.

Some circuses just can’t have too many rings.

*****

Dear Rand Paul, I don’t live in Kentucky,
And I think that you’re far worse than yucky.
Why’s your newsletter clogging
My email and dogging
My bandwidth with viewpoints so sucky?

*****

Facts can be pesky
and undermine views.
But the right just discards them
like old, worn out shoes.

*****

In a Playboy interview, Dick Cheney said Obama is “the worst president of my lifetime”.

I could have sworn that title belonged to Cheney.

*****

Why don’t I call
the GOP pols heartless?
I hate redundancy.

*****

Re Matt McLaughlin’s gays-killing CA ballot initiative, doesn’t his “Sodomite Suppression Act” deserve a “Matt McLaughlin Suppression Act?”

*****
Alaska Republican Rep. Don Young suggested letting wolves loose to cure the homeless problem.

What a foxy way to angle for a job at Fox News!

*****

The duped marks wallow
in hollow crap they swallow
from pols they follow.

*****

Conservative commentator Dinesh D’Souza has denounced Hillary Clinton’s “lawlessness.”

But I think D’Souza is just lonely serving time for violating campaign finance laws.

*****

Sudden clarity
of thought and reason in pols–
Can’t a gal dream?

*****

Wisconsin Gov. Scott Walker has signed a “Right-to-Work” law, a/k/a the “Right to Destroy Unions by Reaping Benefits Without Paying Dues” law.

******

GOP hucksters
hock our nation’s future
to gain/maintain power.

*****

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Posted in Campaign Humor, Collective Bargaining, Dick Cheney Satire, Donald Trump, Election Satire, Fox News Humor, Gay Rights, Glenn Beck Satire, GOP Humor, Homophobia, Legal Limericks, Media Satire, Political Commentary, Political Haiku & Senryu, Political Jokes & One-Liners, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Punditry Humor, Rand Paul, Republicans Humor, Scott Walker | Comments Off on Political Tidbits

Minimum Wage Wars (Limerick)

Thursday, March 19th, 2015

The Republican presidential contender position re federal minimum wage ranges from abolition (Rick Perry and Marco Rubio) to keeping it frozen at $7.25 forever (Jeb Bush’s clarified position, according to the AP.)

Minimum Wage Wars
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Shall we raise the fed minimum wage?
Just the thought makes Republicans rage.
Then there’s Rubio and Perry
Who’d love to make merry
By scrapping that federal gauge.

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Posted in Employment Humor, GOP Humor, Marco Rubio, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Rick Perry | Comments Off on Minimum Wage Wars (Limerick)

Santorum’s Stupidity of Biblical Proportions (Limerick)

Wednesday, March 18th, 2015

For a lawyer, Rick Santorum seems clueless about the U.S. Constitution.

Rick Santorum proclaims, “Yes we can,”
Force his bible on schools — that’s his plan.
Rick forgets the Supremes
8 to 1 banned such schemes…
Else the gov could impose the Koran.

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Posted in Education Limerick, GOP Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Religious Satire, Republicans Humor, Rick Santorum | Comments Off on Santorum’s Stupidity of Biblical Proportions (Limerick)

Open Limerick to Lindsey Graham

Wednesday, March 11th, 2015

Senator Lindsey Graham actually bragged that he never uses email because he’s too busy thinking through problems.

Open Limerick to Lindsey Graham
By Madeleine Begun Kane

If you never use email, that’s great,
Lindsey Graham, but please don’t conflate
It with being a thinker.
You’re naught but an inker,
Sticking staff with the crap on your plate.

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Posted in Lindsey Graham, Political Limericks, Technology Humor | Comments Off on Open Limerick to Lindsey Graham

The Republican’s Open Limerick To Iran

Monday, March 9th, 2015

Forty-seven Republican Senators have done something both appalling and unprecedented: They communicated directly with Iran in order to undermine Obama’s nuclear arms negotiations.

Now it’s one thing to try to convince Obama that Iran can’t be trusted to comply with a nuclear arms deal, or to try to impede an arms deal legislatively. But it’s quite another to essentially tell Iran not to bother complying because Obama deals aren’t worth the paper they’re printed on.

And the latter is precisely what they did. Here’s their open written message to Iran’s leaders, translated into a limerick:

Dear Iranian leaders, Obama
Might make you a nuke deal with drama.
But don’t bother to heed it.
We plan to defeat it.
So it’s worthless — each, word, clause, and comma.

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Posted in Barack Obama, Foreign Policy, GOP Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor | Comments Off on The Republican’s Open Limerick To Iran

Most Want President to Have a High School Diploma (Updated)

Monday, March 2nd, 2015

Most Want President to Have a High School Diploma

A new Public Opinion Polling survey finds that 62% of voters think it’s important for the President to have a high school diploma, compared to only 31% who think it doesn’t matter.

Interesting: “There’s a large partisan divide on the issue: Democrats by an 81%-14% spread think it’s important, while Republicans are evenly divided on the matter at 45%-45%.”

When asked to respond to this poll, Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker said, “Only elitists and ISIS supporters would buy into that requirement, whereas Senator Rand Paul said, “Have I mentioned that I’m a doctor?”

Former Texas Governor Rick Perry, a fellow presidential hopeful, disagreed with both men, saying “Don’t glasses make me look smart?”

*****

UPDATE: I was chagrined to learn that my column has fallen afoul of Poe’s Law. What the heck is Poe’s Law? The “literary adage which stipulates that without a clear indicator of an author’s intended sarcasm it becomes impossible to tell the difference between an expression of sincere extremism and a parody of extremism.”

So for anyone who read this and accepted the poll as real and/or any of the quotes as real, this is hundred percent parody. It was inspired by an actual poll related to whether people believe a U.S. President should have a college degree.

UPDATE 2:

Poe’s Law compressed into a haiku:

In extremist times
reality/parody
appear to have merged.

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Posted in Campaign Humor, Election Satire, Fake News, GOP Humor, News Parodies, Political Limericks, Politics Satire, Rand Paul, Republicans Humor, Rick Perry, Scott Walker, White House | 3 Comments »