It’s pathetic how many respected news outlets published false reports today of an arrest in the Boston Marathon bombings.
Inaccurate Arrest Reports Need To Be Arrested (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Dear news outlets, use some restraint:
Stop reporting arrests, when there ain’t.
Publish news, and NOT litter.
You’re far worse than Twitter,
And your need to be first leaves a taint.
Rep. Steve King (R–Iowa) is a perfect example of how NOT to react to the Boston bombings. According to the fence and deportation-loving Steve King, the mere possibility that the bomber(s) might be foreign means that immigration reform should be delayed and that reform could endanger the public.
King-Sized Exploitation (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Give Steve King a terrific ovation
For his masterful bomb exploitation:
In the absence of facts,
He conflates the attacks
With immigration reform in our nation.
He’s been anti-reform all along.
Now he sings a delay-reform song,
Cuz the bomber, he claims,
Might be foreign. He aims
To spread terror himself — that’s so wrong.
There’s a striking difference between the website homepages of the DCCC (Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee) and the NRCC (National Republican Congressional Committee): The most prominent words (by size and location) on the DCCC site are Democrats 2014. But the only reference to Republicans on the NRCC site is buried on the bottom in the “paid for by” disclaimer.
So, do House Republicans have something to hide?
Republican Campaign Oversight? (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Seems the NRCC’s feeling shame:
How else to explain that the name
Of its party’s not bold,
But lost under the fold
Of a site meant to shore up its game.
Once again, Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid is making threats about filibuster reform — this time with noise about the “nuclear option.” All I can say is: Blah, blah, blah!
Limerick Ode To Harry “Big Talker” Reid
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Harry Reid is again voicing threats
To reform Senate rules. Oh yes, let’s!
But his words have no stock,
As Republicans block
Most Dem action — abuse Reid abets.
As long as the GOP’s packed with headline-grabbing wingnuts like Michele Bachmann, the Republican reboot’s going nowhere:
Attention, GOP: Your rebranding attempts are being undercut by a segment of your party getting big headlines and lots of airtime — a segment symbolized by the Minnesota quote-machine, Rep. Michele Bachmann. Due to a series of gaffes, she is again on the receiving end of criticism, including from Fox News powerhouse Bill O’Reilly. The congresswoman is also, as reported by The Daily Beast’s John Avlon, “embroiled in a litany of legal proceedings related to her rolling disaster of a presidential campaign — including an Office of Congressional Ethics investigation into campaign improprieties.”
…She speaks in apocalyptic terms about President Obama and Democrats. She has never met an inaccuracy or exaggeration she didn’t like in her thirst to negatively define the other side. (Fact-checkers following her speeches may soon have to seek workmen’s compensation.)…
Rebootus Interruptus (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The GOP wants to reboot—
Switch its image from crazy old coot
To something appealing,
More meanness-concealing—
A change that its zealots refute.
If you’re a Colorado spouse abuser, take heart: Republicans have vowed to protect your right to bear arms against Dem meanies, who mean to take it away.
Clueless In Colorado (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Good news for domestic abusers,
Bad news for their victim-accusers:
Colorado is where
The Republicans swear
To guard gun rights for battering bruisers.
Mad Kane (Madeleine Begun Kane) is a writer, musician, and "recovering lawyer." She won the Robert Benchley Society Award For Humor and enjoys writing limericks, song parodies, and current events haiku.
You can email her at madkane@madkane.com, visit her non-political humor blog, or stop by her home page.
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