Dear Red State Would-Be Secessionists: Buh-Bye! (Limerick)
Shush! Please don’t tell all those Red State would-be secessionists what a great deal they have right now. And how much better off financially we Blue Staters would be, if the sore loser Red Staters successfully seceded.
… a large number of patriotic Americans, mostly from states won by Mitt Romney last week, have petitioned the White House to let them secede. They should be careful about what they wish for. It would be excellent financial news for those of us left behind if Obama were to grant a number of the rebel states their wish “to withdraw from the United States and create [their] own NEW government” (the petitions emphasize “new” by capitalizing it).
Red states receive, on average, far more from the federal government in expenditures than they pay in taxes. The balance is the opposite in blue states. The secession petitions, therefore, give the opportunity to create what would be, in a fiscal sense, a far more perfect union.
Dear Red State Would-Be Secessionists: Buh-Bye! (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Greedy Red States who want to secede
Are “takers” and foolish indeed.
From the Fed they get more
Than they send — they’ll be poor
If they leave, and the Blues will be freed.
Tags: Barack Obama, Blue States, Federal Government, Financial Verse, Fiscal Humor, Presidential Election, Red States, Secession, Secession Petition, Tax Policy, White House
The Red States want to secede
Some people are just smokin’ weed
They’re takers for sure
Owe the nation galore
From their debts we all will be freed.
Red states start a secession drive!
Their sanity’s taken a dive!
Some heads are so hot
That some hist’ry’s forgot:
Like events from 1865!
I still say we give them Kansas, Missouri, Oklahoma and Arkansas. They can make Kansas City their capital and use the Mississippi / Missouri river system for a trade route. All the wingnuts can move there, and they can have their right wing theocracy to their heart’s content. Good riddance.
Thanks for everyone comments and verse!